Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, Remember WENN and its characters are copyright Rupert Holmes, Meltzer Productions, AMC, and no infringement is intended. Certain other elements are intended for parody only, no infringement of Lucasilm-copyrighted material is intended.
"WENN Wars"
by Kevin Schultz
======================================
"What have you got there, Scott Sherwood?" Betty Roberts demanded as she entered her office. Scott was seated at the desk, paging through what looked to be a mass of looseleaf papers. He looked up guiltily at Betty, and tried to shove the papers in a drawer.
"Uh, nothing, Betty," Scott stammered. Then he paused, knowing he'd never get away with it. "OK, you got me. It's a little something I wrote a few weeks back. I'm not much of a writer, but I got inspired." He grinned rather shyly.
Betty cocked an eyebrow. "Inspired? This wouldn't have anything to do with scheming for money, would it?"
Scott chuckled. "Of course, not, Betty, you know me better than that."
Betty gave him a look that said, "That, sir, is perhaps one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard in my entire life, and how dare you try to prove otherwise."
Scott shrugged. "OK, so you do know me better than that. But this is just a simple indulgence of mine."
Scott handed the pages to Betty. She looked at the top page. "'WENN Wars'?" She said, suspicious. "What is this, some sort of tell-all book of the behind-the-scenes shenanigans at Pittsburgh's own WENN radio station?"
"Of course not, Betty," Scott said, shaking his head. "Who on earth would ever be interested in the goings-on of a radio station in the 1940's? No, this is something else. I got the idea from watching those 'Buck Rogers' and 'Captain Proton' serials they've been showing again recently at the Rialto. You know, a big action-packed space hero epic."
Betty smirked. "With you as the dashing hero, no doubt."
"Well, maybe one of them, anyway," Scott admitted.
Betty paged through the papers. "So it's a story, not a script?"
Scott shrugged again. "Well, I knew I could never match up to your calibre of scripting for radio..."
"Very smooth, Sherwood."
"...so I went for the novel angle. It could easily be made into a big movie. I think it works quite well."
Betty nodded as she turned back to the first page. "Of course, you'd think that. But would anyone else connect something you did with the word 'work'?"
Scott prentended to be shocked. "Why, Betty Roberts, how could you be so cruel as to hurt me like that?"
Betty grinned at Scott, saying, "Oh, it's quite easy. I just look at you and think 'pain'."
"Of the 'My heart aches to be with you' type?"
"No, of the 'How can I destroy Scott Sherwood today' type."
"Aw, Betty, I know you don't mean it," Scott said with a devious grin plastered on his face.
Betty smiled back. "Well, let me take a look at your... 'epic'... " she said smoothly.
"By all means, read on, Betty Roberts," Scott invited.
And Betty began to read...
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
WENN Wars
By Scott Sherwood
Episode IV
A New Hope
The little spaceship desperately zoomed towards the planet, hoping to evade the big lumbering starship speeding behind it. The big starship caught up to the little ship, and docked with it.
Inside the little ship, two robots were moving down a corridor. The corridor shook with the ship's motion, then stopped, and was still. The taller robot, humanoid, female, was covered in gold, with gold clothing, and a gold hat with a gold feather sticking out of it. Due to some manufacturing fluke, the gold robot always seemed to be looking down its nose. The taller robot, Hil-RE, looked down at its companion, a smaller, more squat robot, that rolled along on its wheels.
"Did you hear that, JF-RE?" Hil-RE said indignantly. "They've caught us. This is all your fault. You and that vile villain! How could you ever have been duped by such a worthless, vicious, ugly... Oh, I can't bear to even think of that evil person!"
JF-RE beeped and chirped meekly. It knew better than to disagree with Hil-RE when the golden droid was in one of its artificially simulated moods.
"That's it! If we get out of this, we are through!" Hil-RE ranted. "We will never be counterparts again, do you hear me?"
JF-RE beeped quietly once more. The two robots moved further down the corridor.
***
Meanwhile, at the hatchway connecting the two ships, there was a sudden, booming explosion, and evil, white-uniformed troops rushed out of the hatchway, rayguns blazing. They mowed down what little resistance there was from the smaller ship's crew. They hurried after the fleeing rebels. The troops remaining near the hatchway snapped to attention as their leader emerged from the hatchway into the smaller ship. Clad in black, with a black cape, and a black hat, Darth Pavla paused, surveying the scene and the bodies. Then she moved on, further into the smaller ship.
***
Hil-RE and JF-RE had reached an intersection, and they each turned. Hil-RE went left, and JF-RE went right. Neither noticed the other had gone the other way.
***
The troops continued to hunt down the rebels, capturing the ones who surrendered, and using other methods for those that didn't surrender. As they reached the bridge, Darth Pavla entered behind the troops, and they took control of the small ship.
***
Hil-RE and JF-RE had found each other again. And once again, Hil-RE was berating JF-RE. "...and what on EARTH were you doing with that young woman I just saw you with? Oh, don't try to deny it. If I ever catch her near you again, I am going to--"
Hil-RE broke off as a huge explosion erupted nearby. Hil-RE and JF-RE quickly dashed into the escape pod they were next to, and the escape pod blasted off.
***
Darth Pavla threw the captain of the small ship aside. One of the white-clad troops rushed up to Darth Pavla.
"M'lady, we have captured Princess Bettia. The documents were not with her. There was an escape pod that jettisoned during the fighting, but no life forms were aboard. Rumor has it there were two robots in the vicinity. We are guessing Princess Bettia sent the documents with the robots in the escape pod."
Darth Pavla nodded. "Good work. Follow that pod, and get those documents. I must have them!"
The troop nodded, bowed obediently, and rushed away.
***
The escape pod had landed on the nearby planet of Tattoowenn, a dry, desert planet. The two robots had survived the crash. However, once again, Hil-RE and JF-RE had split up, and were not talking to each other. JF-RE went towards the rocky area, while Hil-RE, in a ridiculous show of false bravado, chose to head the other direction, through the sandy dunes. Eventually, both were captured by the same little creatures, the Yayas. The Yayas collected all sorts of robots, and went from farm to farm, selling their finds. They stopped at the next farm after picking up Hil-RE and JF-RE.
A tall man, Victor Skystock, and his uncle, Owenn Bloom, approached the Yayas, and chose a couple of robots to buy. Amongst their purchases were Hil-RE and JF-RE. Uncle Owenn told Victor to clean up the droids, then come for supper.
Victor took Hil-RE and JF-RE to the cleaning chamber. "Hello, I'm Victor Skystock," Victor said to introduce himself.
"Hello, sir," Hil-RE said, "and I am Hil-RE, of course."
Victor nodded, and looked at Hil-RE's companion. The short robot beeped somewhat impatiently. Hil-RE sighed, and said, "Oh, all right, and this JF-RE, my counterpart..." And she added under her breath, "...but not for long..."
Victor nodded again. "Excellent. Well, let's clean you two up, and get you in tip-top shape for tomorrow. You've got a lot of work ahead of you."
"Work?" Hil-RE exclaimed. "Sir, I do not just work at the drop of a hat. What is our incentive? Our reward for the work we might do?"
Victor looked at her and said, "Well, didn't you know? You don't get anything, it's a non-paying job." He bent over and scratched at some dirt on JF-RE. As Hil-RE was about to reply angrily, a burst of light leapt from a panel on JF-RE.
A young, beautiful woman's image was projected into the air by the light from JF-RE. It spoke. "Help me, Gertie-Wan Kenobreece... You're my only hope..." The image blurred, then jumped. "Help me, Gertie-Wan Kenobreece... You're my only hope..." Once again, the image jumped and repeated.
Victor was entranced. The woman was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Not that one sees a lot of women on a desolate desert planet, but still, he knew she was gorgeous. He quietly said, "Who is she? She's quite an attractive young woman."
Hil-RE glanced at the image, and sniffed. "Oh, a passenger on the ship we escaped from. A princess, I think. Not anywhere near as important as myelf, of course, but..."
"She looks like a bright young lady. She could certainly brighten up things around here, I don't mind telling you." Victor nodded as he appraised the image of the princess.
Suddenly the image blanked out, and the room was silent. "What happened?" Victor asked.
JF-RE beeped and chirped, and Hil-RE sighed. "Very well, I'll translate again for you. He says it's a private message for his former master, this Gertie-Wan Kenobreece. I don't know what he's talking about, I've certainly never had a 'master', he must be mistaken..."
A voice cried out from outside. "Victor! Supper!"
"OK, I'll be right there, Aunt Eugie!" Victor called back. "Well, I'll be back shortly. Don't go wandering off or anything." He left, and headed for supper.
Hil-RE glanced at JF-RE, crossed her arms, and looked away. "Hmph!"
***
Of course, when Victor came back from supper, the little robot, JF-RE, had run off. Victor and Hil-RE waited until morning to follow him, as it was too dangerous with the Landrupeople around. They eventually found JF-RE in a rocky valley. As Hil-RE was berating JF-RE for running off, they were attacked by Landrupeople. Victor was knocked unconscious, JF-RE hid in the rocks, and Hil-RE was knocked out.
The Landrupeople kicked Victor aside and started taking attacking Victor's speeder. Suddenly a great screeching, howling noise roared all around them, echoing off the rocky walls of the valley. The Landrupeople saw a dark, strange, yelling form heading their way, and beat a hasty retreat. The dark figure approached the unconscious Victor, and helped him wake up. Victor's eyes lit up as he saw who it was. "Ms. Kenobreece! It is certainly great to see you. This droid," he said, indicating JF-RE, "claims that someone named Gertie-Wan Kenobreece was its master. Are you perhaps related to this Gertie-Wan person? My uncle informed me that this Gertie-Wan Kenobreece had already passed on."
Ms. Kenobreece nodded. "Of course I know Gertie-Wan," she said rather smugly. "How many Kenobreeces do you think there are? It's not exactly a common name. It's me, silly. I'm Gertie-Wan."
Gertie-Wan paused, as they heard the Landrupeople shouting, and coming closer. They picked up Hil-RE and JF-RE, packed into Victor's speeder, and headed for Gertie-Wan Kenobreece's home.
***
Gertie-Wan Kenobreece eased herself down onto her favorite chair in her little home. The young whippersnapper Victor Skystock plopped down across from her and started brushing the dirt off of Hil-RE's golden skin.
Gertie-Wan sighed. "I know what you're gonna ask. Yes, I knew your father. He gave me something to pass along to you. Let me get it for you." Gertie-Wan stood up, carefully, stretching her back. "These bones just aren't as young as they used to be..." She murmured to herself.
Gertie-Wan opened up a big chest on the other side of the room. She dug around inside of it for a few minutes, tossing out pieces of junk, an old telephone, cables and wires, a headset, and some old dresses. Suddenly she cried out, "Ah!"
"What is it?" Victor asked, somewhat anxiously.
"My back, there it went again. Could you help me up, Victor?" Victor went over to help Gertie-Wan stand up, wincing as he heard her bones creaking. "Thank you, young man."
Gertie-Wan produced a slim, wand-like device from behind her back. "Ta-daa!" She proclaimed. She passed it to Victor.
"What is it?" Victor asked, befuddled.
"You're father's microphone. It was the weapon of a Radio Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a megaphone. An elegant weapon from a more civilized age..."
Victor handled the microphone gently, swinging it around in arcs. He spoke into it. "Testing, testing, one, two, three..."
Gertie-Wan rolled her eyes, and snatched the microphone out of Victor's hands. "Don't play with that until you know how to use it properly!" She said, shaking her finger at him. "Hey, aren't I supposed to be seeing some message you brought in that robot of yours?"
"Oh, uh, yes, that's correct." Victor bent down to look right at JF-RE. "Excuse me, sir, would you mind playing back the entire message for Ms. Kenobreece here?"
JF-RE chirped cheerily, and beamed the image of Princess Bettia into the air. The image spoke...
"General Kenobreece. Years ago you served my father in the Frequency Wars. Now he begs you to help him again. I have placed documents vital to the survival of the Rebels into this robot here. You must get this robot safely to my home planet of Barbican. Help me, Gertie-Wan Kenobreece, you're my only hope." The imaged fizzled, and faded away.
Gertie-Wan paused, then looked at Victor. "You must come with me to Barbican, and learn the ways of the AFRA."
Victor shook his head, "I'm afraid not, I've got to go to Wash--"
"Oh, cut that out! Anyone would think you're not a regular anymore!"
***
Victor, Gertie-Wan, Hil-RE and JF-RE had made their way to the nearby Mos Elkhart spaceport, and entered one of its seedy cantinas. All sorts of riff-raff filled the underground room. Even out-of-work actors. Gertie-Wan started hunting for a pilot to get them off Tattoowenn and take them to Barbican. She approached a promising prospect, a tall, furry creature standing near the bar.
"Hello!" Gertie-Wan said cheerily. "We need a spaceship, do you know anyone who can help us?"
The tall creature paused, then nodded silently. He gestured to a corner booth, inviting Gertie-Wan and Victor to join him and the man who was seated in the booth.
The man in the booth looked up from his drink. His bright face faltered slightly as he saw what was heading his way, but he decided to see what happened. "Hi there!" He said, grinning. "I'm Scott Solo, captain of the Monongahela Falcon. Foleybacca here tells me you're looking for a ship? Well, have I got a deal for you!"
Gertie-Wan looked hard at Scott, and said firmly, "We can pay you 2,000 now, plus 15,000, when we reach Barbican."
Scott nodded, and whistled. "That's a lotta dough... Well, I can't argue with money! You've got yourselves a ship. We'll meet at Docking Bay 9614."
***
Several minutes later, after selling Victor's speeder to get the cash they needed, Gertie-Wan, Victor, and the robots strolled into Docking Bay 9614. Victor took a look at Scott's ship, the Monongahela Falcon, and paused. "That is quite an unsafe looking example of the type of unsavory craft one does not want to be caught flying in if one can avoid it."
Scott bristled at the remark. "Hey, she's pretty fast. She does OK. Now, just get on board, and let's get out of here." His passengers boarded, and Scott rolled his eyes at his co-pilot, Foleybacca. As he was ascending the ramp himself, he noticed a group of white-uniformed troopers rush into the Docking Bay. "Whoops!" He said, "Foley, get us out of here!" He shut the hatchway once he was inside, and rushed up to the cockpit. The Falcon blasted off, leaving the planet Tattoowenn behind in quite a hurry.
***
Bursting back into realspace after journeying through hyperspace for a while, the Monongahela Falcon ran into a bunch of debris. It was all that was left of the planet Barbican. Lurking nearby was the dreaded Imperial Dismal Star, which had destroyed the planet moments earlier. The Dismal Star caught the Falcon in a tractor beam, and effortlessly pulled the craft inside one of its bays...
***
The Monongahela Falcon rested in a docking bay on the Dismal Star. Victor, Scott, Foleybacca, Gertie-Wan, and the two droids had snuck out, undetected, and were now in a computer room, trying to find out how to shut off the tractor beam holding the Falcon in the station.
JF-RE plugged into the central computer, and located where the tractor beam controls were.
"Don't mind me, I'll just take care of it myself, you boys just sit back and relax," Gertie-Wan said, rather resignedly.
Victor started to follow her, saying, "I wish to accompany you, Gertie-Wan."
Gertie-Wan shook her head, replying, "No, Victor. Let me handle the button pressing and switch flipping. Your destiny lies upon a different path from mine."
Victor nodded, glumly, as Gertie-Wan snuck away, heading for the tractor beam controls.
JF-RE, meanwhile, had discovered something else.
"Hmph!" Hil-RE remarked ruefully. "Trust you to find the one woman on this entire station!"
Victor swung his head around quickly. "What was that?"
Hil-RE shrugged and answered, "He says he's found the Princess."
Scott's ears perked up. "Princess, eh?" He started to grin, just a little bit.
Victor nodded. "Yes, a beautiful woman, who hid secret plans in this robot, JF-RE here. She's captured, you mean, JF-RE?"
JF-RE beeped anxiously.
"We've got to rescue Princess Bettia," Victor stated, matter-of-factly.
"That's gonna be tricky," Scott replied. He paused, and then said, "And I've got a brilliant idea that just might work!"
***
A short time later, after telling the two robots to meet them at the Falcon in a little while, Scott and Victor, having stolen some Trooper outfits, led Foleybacca to the prison level, pretending to be taking Foleybacca there as a prisoner transfer. As they entered the prison area, they opened fire with their blasters, taking out the Troopers on duty.
"Let's find out where this Princess is being held," Scott said as he checked the prison computer. "Here it is, 9366. You go and get her, I'll think of something to hold 'em off here."
Victor nodded, and headed for the prison cells. He approached cell #9366 cautiously, and opened it. Inside, Princess Bettia was seated on a small chair. She looked up and saw a Trooper in the doorway. Thinking it was time for more interrogation, she stood up. "OK, let's get this over with."
Victor stopped, confused. "Pardon? Oh, you think I'm a Trooper, dressed up in this outfit. I'm afraid not. I'm Victor Skystock, and I am here to rescue you."
Bettia's eyes widened. "You're who?"
"I'm Victor Skystock, I've got your RE robots, I'm here with Gertie-Wan Kenobreece!" Victor explained quickly. "Let's get going!"
They exited Bettia's cell, and ran into Scott and Foleybacca, who urged them to keep running with them. "What's up?"
Victor asked, breathlessly.
"Ah, I seem to have had a bit of trouble convincing some people I wasn't who I said I was," Scott said, rather sheepishly. "Come on!"
They ran off down the corridor...
***
Victor, Scott, Foleybacca, and Bettia met up with Hil-RE and JF-RE in the hangar across from the Monongahela Falcon. There was no sign of Gertie-Wan.
Scott looked around. "Looks like as good a time as any to make our escape."
Victor nodded. "Yes. I think Gertie-Wan's had sufficient time to deactivate the tractor beam. Let's get to the ship and wait for her there."
"I agree with you about the 'getting to the ship' part, but the 'waiting' part... That's got me concerened," Scott said.
"What do you think, Foley?"
Foleybacca paused, opened his mouth--
"Look!" Victor cried out.
Across the hangar they could see two figures. One was clearly Gertie-Wan. The other was dressed all in black. It could be only one person. Darth Pavla. The two figures circled each other, holding their Radio Knight microphones. Each tried to outdo the other in outrageous, over-the-top acting, but Gertie-Wan, in her old age, was no match for the spry, conniving Darth Pavla. Pavla moved in for the killing blow, as Gertie-Wan noticed Victor and the others running towards the Falcon. Gertie-Wan smiled faintly, and stood back, allowing Pavla to overact like there was no tomorrow. Helpless, Gertie-Wan crumpled to the floor. Pavla laughed, and rolled Gertie-Wan over, confirming that the old Knight was no more.
Victor was shocked. He started to say something, paused, started to say something else, paused. Then he heard an irritated woman's voice say, "Run, for Pete's sake, run!" He ran, boarding the Falcon after Scott and the others. The Falcon lifted off, and headed away.
***
The Monongahela Falcon had arrived at the secret Rebel base on Agitato IV. There, the secret documents hidden in JF-RE were accessed, and the Dismal Star's weakness was discovered.
Victor decided he needed to join the cause, so he volunteered to fly a starfighter in the attack against the Dismal Star. Before he took off for his mission, he ran into Scott Solo.
"Hiya, Victor!" Scott said, grinning widely as he packed his cartons of money onto a trolley to take it to the Monongahela Falcon. "What's up?"
"I must admit, I thought you were above all this 'reward' nonsense," Victor said, rather sadly.
"Hey, a guy's gotta make a living," Scott replied. "Besides, if I don't pay off Palermo the Hutt I'm a dead man."
Victor nodded, and said farewell to the rogue smuggler. Foleybacca waved goodbye.
***
Victor's squad of fighters was the only one left after a fierce dogfight above the Dismal Star. Victor raced down the trench in his craft, towards the exhaust port that was the station's weakness. A torpedo fired into the port would blow up the station completely.
Victor's wingman, Mackie Antilles, covered Victor's run for the port. "I'm doing the best I can, Victor," Mackie said. "But these guys are tough to beat!" Mackie dispatched all but one of the last squad of enemy fighters. The final enemy fighter shot a quick burst at Mackie, catching the wingman's rear engines. "I'm sorry, Victor," he cried out, "I'm pretty badly damaged, I gotta get out of here."
"Get going, Mackie," Victor ordered. "Thank you for your service, you've been my secret weapon. It's like there were a thousand of you flying around up here. Take care!"
Mackie's ship zoomed off.
The last of the enemy fighters chased Victor, Darth Pavla leading the way in her own special ship. As Pavla was about to fire a killing shot at Victor, her ship was knocked off course. A loud yell could be heard over Victor's communications circuit.
"Very exciting!" Cheered Scott, as he and Foleybacca flew the Monongahela Falcon after Pavla's ship, chasing it away. The Falcon circled back as Pavla's ship sped quickly away.
As he flew towards the port, he heard the woman's voice again in his head. "One lucky shot is all you need, young man, and this'll be over with finally!"
Victor paused, focused his mind, and launched his torpedoes. They shot down the exhaust port, heading for the center of the station. Victor veered away from the station, the Falcon closely behind.
The Dismal Star burst like a thousand suns exploding all at once, and Victor and Scott cheered their victory. Foleybacca started to say something--
"Great work, you two!" They heard over the communications circuit. They could hear the smile in Princess Bettia's voice.
***
A short time later, at the Rebel headquarters on Agitato IV, a ceremony was underway. Filling a large throne room, the entire Rebel contingent on the planet lined the center walkway. At one end of the walkway, Princess Bettia stood, looking beautiful and regal. At the other end, Victor Skystock, Scott Solo, and Foleybacca started heading towards Bettia. When they reached the Princess, Bettia gave both Victor and Scott a golden ear-shape trophy as a symbol of the Rebel Alliance's gratitude for their accomplishments.
Foleybacca looked at the two golden trophys, opened his mouth, paused, then thought better of it. He closed his mouth again, and applauded, along with everyone else in the throne room.
The Rebels had won... For now...
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Betty Roberts looked up from the final page. "'For now'?" She said, eyebrows raised.
"Yeah," Scott Sherwood replied. "I got a couple a sequels in mind."
"Don't tell me, the dashing scoundrel gets the girl, right?"
"Well, since you asked... Here's what happens. Darth Pavla is desperate to find Victor Skystock and Scott Solo for what they did to her. She tracks them down and the heroes get separated. Gertie-Wan appears to Victor, telling him to find his old Radio Knight Master, Mr. Eldridge. Victor finds the wise old Master and begins his training. Scott and the Princess, meanwhile, are chased by Darth Pavla's fleet. They eventually team up with an old buddy of Scott's, Maple Calmarcheian, who first betrays them to Pavla, but turns out to be a good gal after all. Scott, however, gets frozen and sent to Palermo the Hutt. Victor has learned of Scott and Bettia in trouble, so he head to rescue them. Darth Pavla is waiting for him, however. They fight, and Victor, who hasn't finished his training, loses the battle. He gets trapped under some debris, it's unclear for a time whether he survives or not. Bettia and Maple rescue him, though, and get him to safety.
"Victor then takes it upon himself to rescue Scott Solo from the clutches of the vile gangster, Palermo the Hutt. They infiltrate the Hutt's palace, unfreeze Scott, and unfortunately get captured. After a quick battle, our heroes escape. Victor heads back to see Mr. Eldridge, who tells him he must face Darth Pavla again. Then Mr. Eldridge takes a nap.
"The Empire has grown more powerful. The evil Emperor Pruittine has ordered a new, larger Dismal Star to be built. The Rebels discover Pruittine will be on the Dismal Star overseeing its construction, with Darth Pavla at his side. The Rebels, under the leadership of Mon Redmond, send the fleet, commanded by Admiral Medwickbar, to attack the Dismal Star.
"Victor, Scott, Bettia, and the rest sneak down to the planet Acton to deactivate the shield protecting the Dismal Star. Victor gets himself captured so he can face Darth Pavla.
"Long story short--"
"It's too late for that," Betty chuckled.
"--uh-huh, well, long story short, Victor defeats Pavla and Emperor Pruittine, Scott and Bettia take out the shield, Maple, flying the Monongahela Falcon, and Mackie Antilles in his own starfighter, destroy the Dismal Star. And they all live happily ever after."
Betty arched an eyebrow. "Oh, do they now?"
"Yep, Scott and Bettia get married, have a few kids, you know, the usual happy ending."
Betty handed the pages back to Scott. "Well, I'll give you this much, you've got quite an imagination."
"Thanks, Betty!" Scott took the papers, stood up, and headed towards the door. "Well, it's about time I get on the air. Got a show to do, you know."
Betty followed after Scott. "And don't you dare attempt to put that Saturday-morning space show on our airwaves!"
Scott looked stricken. "I wouldn't dream of it," he replied, aghast, a twinkle in his eye.
Then, as he headed towards the studio, he called over his shoulder, "I do have an idea for a prequel, perhaps..."
THE END.
"WENN Wars"
by Kevin Schultz
======================================
"What have you got there, Scott Sherwood?" Betty Roberts demanded as she entered her office. Scott was seated at the desk, paging through what looked to be a mass of looseleaf papers. He looked up guiltily at Betty, and tried to shove the papers in a drawer.
"Uh, nothing, Betty," Scott stammered. Then he paused, knowing he'd never get away with it. "OK, you got me. It's a little something I wrote a few weeks back. I'm not much of a writer, but I got inspired." He grinned rather shyly.
Betty cocked an eyebrow. "Inspired? This wouldn't have anything to do with scheming for money, would it?"
Scott chuckled. "Of course, not, Betty, you know me better than that."
Betty gave him a look that said, "That, sir, is perhaps one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard in my entire life, and how dare you try to prove otherwise."
Scott shrugged. "OK, so you do know me better than that. But this is just a simple indulgence of mine."
Scott handed the pages to Betty. She looked at the top page. "'WENN Wars'?" She said, suspicious. "What is this, some sort of tell-all book of the behind-the-scenes shenanigans at Pittsburgh's own WENN radio station?"
"Of course not, Betty," Scott said, shaking his head. "Who on earth would ever be interested in the goings-on of a radio station in the 1940's? No, this is something else. I got the idea from watching those 'Buck Rogers' and 'Captain Proton' serials they've been showing again recently at the Rialto. You know, a big action-packed space hero epic."
Betty smirked. "With you as the dashing hero, no doubt."
"Well, maybe one of them, anyway," Scott admitted.
Betty paged through the papers. "So it's a story, not a script?"
Scott shrugged again. "Well, I knew I could never match up to your calibre of scripting for radio..."
"Very smooth, Sherwood."
"...so I went for the novel angle. It could easily be made into a big movie. I think it works quite well."
Betty nodded as she turned back to the first page. "Of course, you'd think that. But would anyone else connect something you did with the word 'work'?"
Scott prentended to be shocked. "Why, Betty Roberts, how could you be so cruel as to hurt me like that?"
Betty grinned at Scott, saying, "Oh, it's quite easy. I just look at you and think 'pain'."
"Of the 'My heart aches to be with you' type?"
"No, of the 'How can I destroy Scott Sherwood today' type."
"Aw, Betty, I know you don't mean it," Scott said with a devious grin plastered on his face.
Betty smiled back. "Well, let me take a look at your... 'epic'... " she said smoothly.
"By all means, read on, Betty Roberts," Scott invited.
And Betty began to read...
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
WENN Wars
By Scott Sherwood
Episode IV
A New Hope
The little spaceship desperately zoomed towards the planet, hoping to evade the big lumbering starship speeding behind it. The big starship caught up to the little ship, and docked with it.
Inside the little ship, two robots were moving down a corridor. The corridor shook with the ship's motion, then stopped, and was still. The taller robot, humanoid, female, was covered in gold, with gold clothing, and a gold hat with a gold feather sticking out of it. Due to some manufacturing fluke, the gold robot always seemed to be looking down its nose. The taller robot, Hil-RE, looked down at its companion, a smaller, more squat robot, that rolled along on its wheels.
"Did you hear that, JF-RE?" Hil-RE said indignantly. "They've caught us. This is all your fault. You and that vile villain! How could you ever have been duped by such a worthless, vicious, ugly... Oh, I can't bear to even think of that evil person!"
JF-RE beeped and chirped meekly. It knew better than to disagree with Hil-RE when the golden droid was in one of its artificially simulated moods.
"That's it! If we get out of this, we are through!" Hil-RE ranted. "We will never be counterparts again, do you hear me?"
JF-RE beeped quietly once more. The two robots moved further down the corridor.
***
Meanwhile, at the hatchway connecting the two ships, there was a sudden, booming explosion, and evil, white-uniformed troops rushed out of the hatchway, rayguns blazing. They mowed down what little resistance there was from the smaller ship's crew. They hurried after the fleeing rebels. The troops remaining near the hatchway snapped to attention as their leader emerged from the hatchway into the smaller ship. Clad in black, with a black cape, and a black hat, Darth Pavla paused, surveying the scene and the bodies. Then she moved on, further into the smaller ship.
***
Hil-RE and JF-RE had reached an intersection, and they each turned. Hil-RE went left, and JF-RE went right. Neither noticed the other had gone the other way.
***
The troops continued to hunt down the rebels, capturing the ones who surrendered, and using other methods for those that didn't surrender. As they reached the bridge, Darth Pavla entered behind the troops, and they took control of the small ship.
***
Hil-RE and JF-RE had found each other again. And once again, Hil-RE was berating JF-RE. "...and what on EARTH were you doing with that young woman I just saw you with? Oh, don't try to deny it. If I ever catch her near you again, I am going to--"
Hil-RE broke off as a huge explosion erupted nearby. Hil-RE and JF-RE quickly dashed into the escape pod they were next to, and the escape pod blasted off.
***
Darth Pavla threw the captain of the small ship aside. One of the white-clad troops rushed up to Darth Pavla.
"M'lady, we have captured Princess Bettia. The documents were not with her. There was an escape pod that jettisoned during the fighting, but no life forms were aboard. Rumor has it there were two robots in the vicinity. We are guessing Princess Bettia sent the documents with the robots in the escape pod."
Darth Pavla nodded. "Good work. Follow that pod, and get those documents. I must have them!"
The troop nodded, bowed obediently, and rushed away.
***
The escape pod had landed on the nearby planet of Tattoowenn, a dry, desert planet. The two robots had survived the crash. However, once again, Hil-RE and JF-RE had split up, and were not talking to each other. JF-RE went towards the rocky area, while Hil-RE, in a ridiculous show of false bravado, chose to head the other direction, through the sandy dunes. Eventually, both were captured by the same little creatures, the Yayas. The Yayas collected all sorts of robots, and went from farm to farm, selling their finds. They stopped at the next farm after picking up Hil-RE and JF-RE.
A tall man, Victor Skystock, and his uncle, Owenn Bloom, approached the Yayas, and chose a couple of robots to buy. Amongst their purchases were Hil-RE and JF-RE. Uncle Owenn told Victor to clean up the droids, then come for supper.
Victor took Hil-RE and JF-RE to the cleaning chamber. "Hello, I'm Victor Skystock," Victor said to introduce himself.
"Hello, sir," Hil-RE said, "and I am Hil-RE, of course."
Victor nodded, and looked at Hil-RE's companion. The short robot beeped somewhat impatiently. Hil-RE sighed, and said, "Oh, all right, and this JF-RE, my counterpart..." And she added under her breath, "...but not for long..."
Victor nodded again. "Excellent. Well, let's clean you two up, and get you in tip-top shape for tomorrow. You've got a lot of work ahead of you."
"Work?" Hil-RE exclaimed. "Sir, I do not just work at the drop of a hat. What is our incentive? Our reward for the work we might do?"
Victor looked at her and said, "Well, didn't you know? You don't get anything, it's a non-paying job." He bent over and scratched at some dirt on JF-RE. As Hil-RE was about to reply angrily, a burst of light leapt from a panel on JF-RE.
A young, beautiful woman's image was projected into the air by the light from JF-RE. It spoke. "Help me, Gertie-Wan Kenobreece... You're my only hope..." The image blurred, then jumped. "Help me, Gertie-Wan Kenobreece... You're my only hope..." Once again, the image jumped and repeated.
Victor was entranced. The woman was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Not that one sees a lot of women on a desolate desert planet, but still, he knew she was gorgeous. He quietly said, "Who is she? She's quite an attractive young woman."
Hil-RE glanced at the image, and sniffed. "Oh, a passenger on the ship we escaped from. A princess, I think. Not anywhere near as important as myelf, of course, but..."
"She looks like a bright young lady. She could certainly brighten up things around here, I don't mind telling you." Victor nodded as he appraised the image of the princess.
Suddenly the image blanked out, and the room was silent. "What happened?" Victor asked.
JF-RE beeped and chirped, and Hil-RE sighed. "Very well, I'll translate again for you. He says it's a private message for his former master, this Gertie-Wan Kenobreece. I don't know what he's talking about, I've certainly never had a 'master', he must be mistaken..."
A voice cried out from outside. "Victor! Supper!"
"OK, I'll be right there, Aunt Eugie!" Victor called back. "Well, I'll be back shortly. Don't go wandering off or anything." He left, and headed for supper.
Hil-RE glanced at JF-RE, crossed her arms, and looked away. "Hmph!"
***
Of course, when Victor came back from supper, the little robot, JF-RE, had run off. Victor and Hil-RE waited until morning to follow him, as it was too dangerous with the Landrupeople around. They eventually found JF-RE in a rocky valley. As Hil-RE was berating JF-RE for running off, they were attacked by Landrupeople. Victor was knocked unconscious, JF-RE hid in the rocks, and Hil-RE was knocked out.
The Landrupeople kicked Victor aside and started taking attacking Victor's speeder. Suddenly a great screeching, howling noise roared all around them, echoing off the rocky walls of the valley. The Landrupeople saw a dark, strange, yelling form heading their way, and beat a hasty retreat. The dark figure approached the unconscious Victor, and helped him wake up. Victor's eyes lit up as he saw who it was. "Ms. Kenobreece! It is certainly great to see you. This droid," he said, indicating JF-RE, "claims that someone named Gertie-Wan Kenobreece was its master. Are you perhaps related to this Gertie-Wan person? My uncle informed me that this Gertie-Wan Kenobreece had already passed on."
Ms. Kenobreece nodded. "Of course I know Gertie-Wan," she said rather smugly. "How many Kenobreeces do you think there are? It's not exactly a common name. It's me, silly. I'm Gertie-Wan."
Gertie-Wan paused, as they heard the Landrupeople shouting, and coming closer. They picked up Hil-RE and JF-RE, packed into Victor's speeder, and headed for Gertie-Wan Kenobreece's home.
***
Gertie-Wan Kenobreece eased herself down onto her favorite chair in her little home. The young whippersnapper Victor Skystock plopped down across from her and started brushing the dirt off of Hil-RE's golden skin.
Gertie-Wan sighed. "I know what you're gonna ask. Yes, I knew your father. He gave me something to pass along to you. Let me get it for you." Gertie-Wan stood up, carefully, stretching her back. "These bones just aren't as young as they used to be..." She murmured to herself.
Gertie-Wan opened up a big chest on the other side of the room. She dug around inside of it for a few minutes, tossing out pieces of junk, an old telephone, cables and wires, a headset, and some old dresses. Suddenly she cried out, "Ah!"
"What is it?" Victor asked, somewhat anxiously.
"My back, there it went again. Could you help me up, Victor?" Victor went over to help Gertie-Wan stand up, wincing as he heard her bones creaking. "Thank you, young man."
Gertie-Wan produced a slim, wand-like device from behind her back. "Ta-daa!" She proclaimed. She passed it to Victor.
"What is it?" Victor asked, befuddled.
"You're father's microphone. It was the weapon of a Radio Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a megaphone. An elegant weapon from a more civilized age..."
Victor handled the microphone gently, swinging it around in arcs. He spoke into it. "Testing, testing, one, two, three..."
Gertie-Wan rolled her eyes, and snatched the microphone out of Victor's hands. "Don't play with that until you know how to use it properly!" She said, shaking her finger at him. "Hey, aren't I supposed to be seeing some message you brought in that robot of yours?"
"Oh, uh, yes, that's correct." Victor bent down to look right at JF-RE. "Excuse me, sir, would you mind playing back the entire message for Ms. Kenobreece here?"
JF-RE chirped cheerily, and beamed the image of Princess Bettia into the air. The image spoke...
"General Kenobreece. Years ago you served my father in the Frequency Wars. Now he begs you to help him again. I have placed documents vital to the survival of the Rebels into this robot here. You must get this robot safely to my home planet of Barbican. Help me, Gertie-Wan Kenobreece, you're my only hope." The imaged fizzled, and faded away.
Gertie-Wan paused, then looked at Victor. "You must come with me to Barbican, and learn the ways of the AFRA."
Victor shook his head, "I'm afraid not, I've got to go to Wash--"
"Oh, cut that out! Anyone would think you're not a regular anymore!"
***
Victor, Gertie-Wan, Hil-RE and JF-RE had made their way to the nearby Mos Elkhart spaceport, and entered one of its seedy cantinas. All sorts of riff-raff filled the underground room. Even out-of-work actors. Gertie-Wan started hunting for a pilot to get them off Tattoowenn and take them to Barbican. She approached a promising prospect, a tall, furry creature standing near the bar.
"Hello!" Gertie-Wan said cheerily. "We need a spaceship, do you know anyone who can help us?"
The tall creature paused, then nodded silently. He gestured to a corner booth, inviting Gertie-Wan and Victor to join him and the man who was seated in the booth.
The man in the booth looked up from his drink. His bright face faltered slightly as he saw what was heading his way, but he decided to see what happened. "Hi there!" He said, grinning. "I'm Scott Solo, captain of the Monongahela Falcon. Foleybacca here tells me you're looking for a ship? Well, have I got a deal for you!"
Gertie-Wan looked hard at Scott, and said firmly, "We can pay you 2,000 now, plus 15,000, when we reach Barbican."
Scott nodded, and whistled. "That's a lotta dough... Well, I can't argue with money! You've got yourselves a ship. We'll meet at Docking Bay 9614."
***
Several minutes later, after selling Victor's speeder to get the cash they needed, Gertie-Wan, Victor, and the robots strolled into Docking Bay 9614. Victor took a look at Scott's ship, the Monongahela Falcon, and paused. "That is quite an unsafe looking example of the type of unsavory craft one does not want to be caught flying in if one can avoid it."
Scott bristled at the remark. "Hey, she's pretty fast. She does OK. Now, just get on board, and let's get out of here." His passengers boarded, and Scott rolled his eyes at his co-pilot, Foleybacca. As he was ascending the ramp himself, he noticed a group of white-uniformed troopers rush into the Docking Bay. "Whoops!" He said, "Foley, get us out of here!" He shut the hatchway once he was inside, and rushed up to the cockpit. The Falcon blasted off, leaving the planet Tattoowenn behind in quite a hurry.
***
Bursting back into realspace after journeying through hyperspace for a while, the Monongahela Falcon ran into a bunch of debris. It was all that was left of the planet Barbican. Lurking nearby was the dreaded Imperial Dismal Star, which had destroyed the planet moments earlier. The Dismal Star caught the Falcon in a tractor beam, and effortlessly pulled the craft inside one of its bays...
***
The Monongahela Falcon rested in a docking bay on the Dismal Star. Victor, Scott, Foleybacca, Gertie-Wan, and the two droids had snuck out, undetected, and were now in a computer room, trying to find out how to shut off the tractor beam holding the Falcon in the station.
JF-RE plugged into the central computer, and located where the tractor beam controls were.
"Don't mind me, I'll just take care of it myself, you boys just sit back and relax," Gertie-Wan said, rather resignedly.
Victor started to follow her, saying, "I wish to accompany you, Gertie-Wan."
Gertie-Wan shook her head, replying, "No, Victor. Let me handle the button pressing and switch flipping. Your destiny lies upon a different path from mine."
Victor nodded, glumly, as Gertie-Wan snuck away, heading for the tractor beam controls.
JF-RE, meanwhile, had discovered something else.
"Hmph!" Hil-RE remarked ruefully. "Trust you to find the one woman on this entire station!"
Victor swung his head around quickly. "What was that?"
Hil-RE shrugged and answered, "He says he's found the Princess."
Scott's ears perked up. "Princess, eh?" He started to grin, just a little bit.
Victor nodded. "Yes, a beautiful woman, who hid secret plans in this robot, JF-RE here. She's captured, you mean, JF-RE?"
JF-RE beeped anxiously.
"We've got to rescue Princess Bettia," Victor stated, matter-of-factly.
"That's gonna be tricky," Scott replied. He paused, and then said, "And I've got a brilliant idea that just might work!"
***
A short time later, after telling the two robots to meet them at the Falcon in a little while, Scott and Victor, having stolen some Trooper outfits, led Foleybacca to the prison level, pretending to be taking Foleybacca there as a prisoner transfer. As they entered the prison area, they opened fire with their blasters, taking out the Troopers on duty.
"Let's find out where this Princess is being held," Scott said as he checked the prison computer. "Here it is, 9366. You go and get her, I'll think of something to hold 'em off here."
Victor nodded, and headed for the prison cells. He approached cell #9366 cautiously, and opened it. Inside, Princess Bettia was seated on a small chair. She looked up and saw a Trooper in the doorway. Thinking it was time for more interrogation, she stood up. "OK, let's get this over with."
Victor stopped, confused. "Pardon? Oh, you think I'm a Trooper, dressed up in this outfit. I'm afraid not. I'm Victor Skystock, and I am here to rescue you."
Bettia's eyes widened. "You're who?"
"I'm Victor Skystock, I've got your RE robots, I'm here with Gertie-Wan Kenobreece!" Victor explained quickly. "Let's get going!"
They exited Bettia's cell, and ran into Scott and Foleybacca, who urged them to keep running with them. "What's up?"
Victor asked, breathlessly.
"Ah, I seem to have had a bit of trouble convincing some people I wasn't who I said I was," Scott said, rather sheepishly. "Come on!"
They ran off down the corridor...
***
Victor, Scott, Foleybacca, and Bettia met up with Hil-RE and JF-RE in the hangar across from the Monongahela Falcon. There was no sign of Gertie-Wan.
Scott looked around. "Looks like as good a time as any to make our escape."
Victor nodded. "Yes. I think Gertie-Wan's had sufficient time to deactivate the tractor beam. Let's get to the ship and wait for her there."
"I agree with you about the 'getting to the ship' part, but the 'waiting' part... That's got me concerened," Scott said.
"What do you think, Foley?"
Foleybacca paused, opened his mouth--
"Look!" Victor cried out.
Across the hangar they could see two figures. One was clearly Gertie-Wan. The other was dressed all in black. It could be only one person. Darth Pavla. The two figures circled each other, holding their Radio Knight microphones. Each tried to outdo the other in outrageous, over-the-top acting, but Gertie-Wan, in her old age, was no match for the spry, conniving Darth Pavla. Pavla moved in for the killing blow, as Gertie-Wan noticed Victor and the others running towards the Falcon. Gertie-Wan smiled faintly, and stood back, allowing Pavla to overact like there was no tomorrow. Helpless, Gertie-Wan crumpled to the floor. Pavla laughed, and rolled Gertie-Wan over, confirming that the old Knight was no more.
Victor was shocked. He started to say something, paused, started to say something else, paused. Then he heard an irritated woman's voice say, "Run, for Pete's sake, run!" He ran, boarding the Falcon after Scott and the others. The Falcon lifted off, and headed away.
***
The Monongahela Falcon had arrived at the secret Rebel base on Agitato IV. There, the secret documents hidden in JF-RE were accessed, and the Dismal Star's weakness was discovered.
Victor decided he needed to join the cause, so he volunteered to fly a starfighter in the attack against the Dismal Star. Before he took off for his mission, he ran into Scott Solo.
"Hiya, Victor!" Scott said, grinning widely as he packed his cartons of money onto a trolley to take it to the Monongahela Falcon. "What's up?"
"I must admit, I thought you were above all this 'reward' nonsense," Victor said, rather sadly.
"Hey, a guy's gotta make a living," Scott replied. "Besides, if I don't pay off Palermo the Hutt I'm a dead man."
Victor nodded, and said farewell to the rogue smuggler. Foleybacca waved goodbye.
***
Victor's squad of fighters was the only one left after a fierce dogfight above the Dismal Star. Victor raced down the trench in his craft, towards the exhaust port that was the station's weakness. A torpedo fired into the port would blow up the station completely.
Victor's wingman, Mackie Antilles, covered Victor's run for the port. "I'm doing the best I can, Victor," Mackie said. "But these guys are tough to beat!" Mackie dispatched all but one of the last squad of enemy fighters. The final enemy fighter shot a quick burst at Mackie, catching the wingman's rear engines. "I'm sorry, Victor," he cried out, "I'm pretty badly damaged, I gotta get out of here."
"Get going, Mackie," Victor ordered. "Thank you for your service, you've been my secret weapon. It's like there were a thousand of you flying around up here. Take care!"
Mackie's ship zoomed off.
The last of the enemy fighters chased Victor, Darth Pavla leading the way in her own special ship. As Pavla was about to fire a killing shot at Victor, her ship was knocked off course. A loud yell could be heard over Victor's communications circuit.
"Very exciting!" Cheered Scott, as he and Foleybacca flew the Monongahela Falcon after Pavla's ship, chasing it away. The Falcon circled back as Pavla's ship sped quickly away.
As he flew towards the port, he heard the woman's voice again in his head. "One lucky shot is all you need, young man, and this'll be over with finally!"
Victor paused, focused his mind, and launched his torpedoes. They shot down the exhaust port, heading for the center of the station. Victor veered away from the station, the Falcon closely behind.
The Dismal Star burst like a thousand suns exploding all at once, and Victor and Scott cheered their victory. Foleybacca started to say something--
"Great work, you two!" They heard over the communications circuit. They could hear the smile in Princess Bettia's voice.
***
A short time later, at the Rebel headquarters on Agitato IV, a ceremony was underway. Filling a large throne room, the entire Rebel contingent on the planet lined the center walkway. At one end of the walkway, Princess Bettia stood, looking beautiful and regal. At the other end, Victor Skystock, Scott Solo, and Foleybacca started heading towards Bettia. When they reached the Princess, Bettia gave both Victor and Scott a golden ear-shape trophy as a symbol of the Rebel Alliance's gratitude for their accomplishments.
Foleybacca looked at the two golden trophys, opened his mouth, paused, then thought better of it. He closed his mouth again, and applauded, along with everyone else in the throne room.
The Rebels had won... For now...
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Betty Roberts looked up from the final page. "'For now'?" She said, eyebrows raised.
"Yeah," Scott Sherwood replied. "I got a couple a sequels in mind."
"Don't tell me, the dashing scoundrel gets the girl, right?"
"Well, since you asked... Here's what happens. Darth Pavla is desperate to find Victor Skystock and Scott Solo for what they did to her. She tracks them down and the heroes get separated. Gertie-Wan appears to Victor, telling him to find his old Radio Knight Master, Mr. Eldridge. Victor finds the wise old Master and begins his training. Scott and the Princess, meanwhile, are chased by Darth Pavla's fleet. They eventually team up with an old buddy of Scott's, Maple Calmarcheian, who first betrays them to Pavla, but turns out to be a good gal after all. Scott, however, gets frozen and sent to Palermo the Hutt. Victor has learned of Scott and Bettia in trouble, so he head to rescue them. Darth Pavla is waiting for him, however. They fight, and Victor, who hasn't finished his training, loses the battle. He gets trapped under some debris, it's unclear for a time whether he survives or not. Bettia and Maple rescue him, though, and get him to safety.
"Victor then takes it upon himself to rescue Scott Solo from the clutches of the vile gangster, Palermo the Hutt. They infiltrate the Hutt's palace, unfreeze Scott, and unfortunately get captured. After a quick battle, our heroes escape. Victor heads back to see Mr. Eldridge, who tells him he must face Darth Pavla again. Then Mr. Eldridge takes a nap.
"The Empire has grown more powerful. The evil Emperor Pruittine has ordered a new, larger Dismal Star to be built. The Rebels discover Pruittine will be on the Dismal Star overseeing its construction, with Darth Pavla at his side. The Rebels, under the leadership of Mon Redmond, send the fleet, commanded by Admiral Medwickbar, to attack the Dismal Star.
"Victor, Scott, Bettia, and the rest sneak down to the planet Acton to deactivate the shield protecting the Dismal Star. Victor gets himself captured so he can face Darth Pavla.
"Long story short--"
"It's too late for that," Betty chuckled.
"--uh-huh, well, long story short, Victor defeats Pavla and Emperor Pruittine, Scott and Bettia take out the shield, Maple, flying the Monongahela Falcon, and Mackie Antilles in his own starfighter, destroy the Dismal Star. And they all live happily ever after."
Betty arched an eyebrow. "Oh, do they now?"
"Yep, Scott and Bettia get married, have a few kids, you know, the usual happy ending."
Betty handed the pages back to Scott. "Well, I'll give you this much, you've got quite an imagination."
"Thanks, Betty!" Scott took the papers, stood up, and headed towards the door. "Well, it's about time I get on the air. Got a show to do, you know."
Betty followed after Scott. "And don't you dare attempt to put that Saturday-morning space show on our airwaves!"
Scott looked stricken. "I wouldn't dream of it," he replied, aghast, a twinkle in his eye.
Then, as he headed towards the studio, he called over his shoulder, "I do have an idea for a prequel, perhaps..."
THE END.