PART ONE

Ianto had checked them into a very posh Hotel, thank you very much. The moment he distributed door cards to his colleagues he fled to his room before anyone could protest, not that anyone did. It was clear Ianto was in no mood for company. Tosh led Owen away to his room with his medical kit slung over her shoulder, which left Jack standing somewhat forlornly with his hands in his coat pockets and Gwen smiling at him, willing him. Her eyes were wide with that openness that had always drawn Jack to her. There was also a hint of challenge in her gaze and downright determination.

"I need a drink." He muttered and with that she looped her arm through his and they wandered into the bar like a married couple, if slightly oddly dressed. Jack's coat always got attention. They settled into couch and Gwen ordered two bottles of water and a pot of coffee and Jack looked up at the young waiter and added a large scotch to the list. Yes, he really needed a drink. He could feel Gwen's warmth, her concern and her anger. Under any other circumstance he would have welcomed the challenge, he would've enjoyed sparring with her until they both gave in to their respective needs and fucked each other senseless. Right now that was all he wanted, just to forget, just to not have to think about the last year of his life and what he had left behind, more worryingly what he had to face. Gwen's slender hand found its way into his pocket and her fingers entwined around his like they were meant to be there. The contact made his breath hitch.

Gwen leaned into his side.

"I know you won't tell us Jack, where you were. I wish you would trust me enough to tell me, I wish you could love me enough."

He could feel the warm, hard metal of her engagement ring digging into his skin. A regret? Jack knew she certainly thought so.

"All I can tell you is that I am back, because I chose to come back."

"Please tell me it was for me, Jack. Tell me that and I'll take off that ring, you know I will. Whatever you want Jack."

He knew she would too, a large part of him wanted her to, but he knew from cold and painful experience that it would not end well for either of them if she did. In that moment he made his choice, hard as it was, he knew it was the right one because ultimately it was about her safety and well being, not his.

"What I want Gwen, is for you to understand that I need you to be with Rhys. He loves you and I know you love him. I came for all of you, but most of all I came back for Ianto."

"Then why isn't he here with you?"

He could feel her tears burning through his very skin.

"Because I hurt him and he and I have a lot to work out."

Gwen sighed. "He ran out on us, while you were away he disappeared for over a month and when he came back he wouldn't tell us where he'd been. You're as bad as each other."

The spite in her tone was obvious but Jack chose to ignore it, wondering what Ianto had done during that time. The tray of drinks arrived and Jack downed the scotch in one and then gently eased Gwen away from him, detaching her hand from his. He stood up and Gwen gazed up into his eyes with longing.

"I'll always be there for you Jack."

He shook his head. "Don't be, I'm not worth it."

Gwen watched through watery eyes as he walked away from her and disappeared into the lift.

Up on the fifth floor he tapped on the door next to his and very harassed looking Tosh answered it, she greeted him with a smile.

"Hey Tosh, you and Owen ok?"

She nodded knowing full well he was referring to the injuries inflicted on herself and her colleague by John Hart.

"Can I come in?"

Tosh gestured and Jack stepped into the room. Owen was sprawled on the bed in his undershorts, a fresh dressing adorning his hip, TV remotes in his hand.

"Thought you'd be shagging Tea Boy by now." Owen groused.

Jack sat down and shook his head with a smile. Tosh came in and plonked herself on the couch by the window, a glass of something from the minibar in her hand.

"Gwen tells me that Ianto went missing whilst I was away."

Owen immediately sat up and gave Jack an appraising look. "Yeah, he did. It was a bit weird actually."

"How so?"

"He was confused when he got back." Tosh answered.

"He seemed convinced that the Hub shouldn't be standing and that a year had gone missing. It was odd, he was just odd, and looked liked.... I don't know, but he'd had a nasty head injury. Why do you ask?"

Jack shrugged. "Just curious. I wanted to know how you all were, but Ianto's quiet. You know what he's like."

Owen snorted. "You snogged him in front of all of us Jack and then you did a runner. He's been odd since the day he started with us, but I have to admit the fact that his hair had almost 6 months worth of growth did ring my alarm bells and his confusion, but he recovered quickly enough and got back to work. To be honest I think he went away and had a nervous breakdown in private somewhere. There were no lasting medical issues with it and he's always been a quiet bugger."

"You should talk to him Jack." Tosh added.

"Yeah, which room is he in?"

"306."

Jack knocked on the door for the fourth time and then decided to let himself into Ianto's room. He wasn't surprised to find it empty. With a sigh he stripped off his clothes and flung them across the bed and went to the shower.

Ianto was more than a little dismayed to find Jack's clothes spread across his bed. He kicked the door closed with his foot and deposited his overnight bag on the chair next to the little phone table. With a heavy sigh he made his way to the bathroom and the sound of running water, without hesitation he stepped in and stood there arms folded over his chest watching Jack rinsing his hair off under the shower jet.

Aware of Ianto's presence, Jack grinned and flicked off the water jet. Ianto passed him a towel.

"You're supposed to be in 309."

"I am?"

Ianto turned away and went back to get his bag, Jack followed towelling his hair.

"I went back to my flat to get some fresh clothes, I'm sorry but all I've got that might fit you is a t-shirt and track pants." A wet hand yanked him to a stop and spun him round.

Somewhat startled Ianto tried to step back, but Jack held his arm firmly and their eyes met for the first time since Jack had come back, they finally looked at one another properly. Ianto noted the thinner face, the tight new lines around Jack's beautiful blues, the coldness there in the depths. He was terrified and confused because there was also grief and fear and Ianto had only seen Jack afraid once before. The pain in his arm finally registered.

"Jack, you're hurting me."

The next thing his face was against Jack's wet throat, arms moulding their bodies so tightly Ianto could barely breathe. Jack's fingers roamed through his hair, over his shoulders and down his back, his wet skin seeping through Ianto's shirt. It took Ianto a moment to register the fact that Jack was crying against him and doing his utmost to hide it. Slowly he drew his arms around Jack's waist and held on.

Ianto wasn't at all certain how long they stood there for, but finally Jack's hands released their grip and found their way under folds of fabric, seeking out skin. Ianto felt his blood rush southwards and immediately pulled back stepping out of Jack's reach, breaking the spell, he raised his hands somewhat defensively and shook his head.

"No, Jack we can't. I'm sorry." And before Jack could respond he fled.

Ianto found himself in the hotel bar and perching on a stool he ordered a double gin and tonic. Gwen watched with surprise when her rumpled looking younger colleague had practically lurched into the bar looking slightly wild in the eye. She suppressed the temptation to be nosy and remained on the couch idly toying with her glass of red wine. She was pretty certain that Ianto's current state was to do with Jack, part of her wanted to be happy about that, but she couldn't bring herself to celebrate. Jack hurt everyone he came into contact with, she couldn't blame Ianto for that it looked like he was suffering enough without her adding her own spite to the mix. A few minutes later Jack appeared in track pants and T-shirt with bare feet. He marched purposefully over to the younger man and literally yanked him off the stool. He grasped Ianto's head in both of his hands and kissed him smack on the lips, in front of everyone. He then pulled away leaving Ianto breathless and thoroughly embarrassed. Gwen sighed and then watched somewhat gobsmacked when Ianto floored him with a powerful right hook. In the next instant Jack was hauled to his feet and kissed back. Two or three other guests stepped back to get out of the way and someone yelled for them to get a room. Ianto turned to her and grinned.

"We did."

Jack grabbed his arm at that point and dragged him unprotesting back in the direction of the lifts. Gwen's heart sank into her shoes.