// Title/Author: Stupid Evil Electronic Demons / by Gimli2003
// Season/Spoilers: Any / None
// Rating/Content : PG-13 / some language
// Category: Humor
// Summary: We all know Jack and electronics don't get along...but not THIS badly.
// Author's Note: Once again, kudos to those who invented the show and I don't own it.
R&R, and enjoy!
Stupid Evil Electronic Demons
By Gimli2003
Chapter One: Good Morning!
*BeepBeepBeep*
Colonel Jack O'Neill, USAF, groaned in his half-awake state, mentally cursing the devious little
instrument that dared to interrupt his slumber. 'Mustn't break object; must restrain violent tendencies, resist
temptation to destroy.'
*BeepBeepBeep*
She reached for where the alarm clock *should* have been, felt around...felt around some more-
*BeepBeepBeep*
-'Damn it, did this thing move on me again?' He felt around some MORE-
*BeepBeepBeep*
-'Ah, there it is.' *Slap*
Silence reigned in the bedroom. 'Thank GOD.' He started to slip back into sleep.
*BeepBeepBeep*
Jack opened one eye, eyebrow cocking upward. 'Ten minutes went by THAT fast?' He checked the clock.
'What?! I haven't even been asleep one minute and already it's on again.'
He was beginning to rapidly lose what little patience he had accumulated at this time of day, which was
pretty much none at all. *Whack* The machine paused for a moment before-
*BeepBeepBeep*
*Whack whack whack whack WHACK* "SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE BUCKET OF BOLTS!"
*BeepBeepBeep*
-'Oh, screw it,' he thought, turning on his side to face the other side of the bed.
*BeepBeepBeep*
"GAH!" Whirling, he brought down his baseball bat on the damn electronic device, shattering it into a
million pieces (well, six actually, but it looked like more).
"Hah, man wins over machine again!" he crowed triumphantly. He dropped his bat down to the side of the
bed where it was before burying his head into his pillow again.
*BeepBeepBeep*
'No, no no no, nonononononononoNO!' Cautiously, he snuch a peek at the corpse of his once whole alarm
clock. The display was shattered and the body was hanging in several pieces, yet it *still* worked. 'How is this
even possible?'
He took the accursed little object and threw it as hard as could into the wall several feet away, stopping
the noise immediately. "And good ridance!" Back to Ms. Pillow.
*BeepBeepBeep*
"OHFERCRYINGOUTLOUD! Where's my Beretta?" He leaped out of bed, stalking the rooms of his house, trying
to remember where he had left his service weapon. He stalked through his house for six minutes, fuming at the
insistent sound from the machine that wouldn't *die* before remembering he had a spare 9 mm under his bed.
He walked calmy into his bedroom-
*BeepBeepBeep*
-bent over to get the weapon out from under the mattress-
*BeepBeepBeep*
-and then, *BLAM BLAM BLAM*, sent the circuited menace back to the hell it came from: Radio-Shack.
"Ah, much better." He let himself enjoy the resulting silence for a few moments.
'Hmm, well, I'm awake now, might as well get the day started. Huh, wonder what time it is?' He looked
down at his wrist, only to be reminded by the empty space there that his usual watch was in the shop. 'Should
have had Carter do it,' he though again for the seventh time in the past 24 hours. Well that only left...
He glanced at the pile of rubble that *was* just telling him what time it was. "OHFERCRYINOUTLOUD!"
TBC
// Review people, or I'll go into review withdrawl. Not fun for a review junkie to go into withdrawl.
// Season/Spoilers: Any / None
// Rating/Content : PG-13 / some language
// Category: Humor
// Summary: We all know Jack and electronics don't get along...but not THIS badly.
// Author's Note: Once again, kudos to those who invented the show and I don't own it.
R&R, and enjoy!
Stupid Evil Electronic Demons
By Gimli2003
Chapter One: Good Morning!
*BeepBeepBeep*
Colonel Jack O'Neill, USAF, groaned in his half-awake state, mentally cursing the devious little
instrument that dared to interrupt his slumber. 'Mustn't break object; must restrain violent tendencies, resist
temptation to destroy.'
*BeepBeepBeep*
She reached for where the alarm clock *should* have been, felt around...felt around some more-
*BeepBeepBeep*
-'Damn it, did this thing move on me again?' He felt around some MORE-
*BeepBeepBeep*
-'Ah, there it is.' *Slap*
Silence reigned in the bedroom. 'Thank GOD.' He started to slip back into sleep.
*BeepBeepBeep*
Jack opened one eye, eyebrow cocking upward. 'Ten minutes went by THAT fast?' He checked the clock.
'What?! I haven't even been asleep one minute and already it's on again.'
He was beginning to rapidly lose what little patience he had accumulated at this time of day, which was
pretty much none at all. *Whack* The machine paused for a moment before-
*BeepBeepBeep*
*Whack whack whack whack WHACK* "SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE BUCKET OF BOLTS!"
*BeepBeepBeep*
-'Oh, screw it,' he thought, turning on his side to face the other side of the bed.
*BeepBeepBeep*
"GAH!" Whirling, he brought down his baseball bat on the damn electronic device, shattering it into a
million pieces (well, six actually, but it looked like more).
"Hah, man wins over machine again!" he crowed triumphantly. He dropped his bat down to the side of the
bed where it was before burying his head into his pillow again.
*BeepBeepBeep*
'No, no no no, nonononononononoNO!' Cautiously, he snuch a peek at the corpse of his once whole alarm
clock. The display was shattered and the body was hanging in several pieces, yet it *still* worked. 'How is this
even possible?'
He took the accursed little object and threw it as hard as could into the wall several feet away, stopping
the noise immediately. "And good ridance!" Back to Ms. Pillow.
*BeepBeepBeep*
"OHFERCRYINGOUTLOUD! Where's my Beretta?" He leaped out of bed, stalking the rooms of his house, trying
to remember where he had left his service weapon. He stalked through his house for six minutes, fuming at the
insistent sound from the machine that wouldn't *die* before remembering he had a spare 9 mm under his bed.
He walked calmy into his bedroom-
*BeepBeepBeep*
-bent over to get the weapon out from under the mattress-
*BeepBeepBeep*
-and then, *BLAM BLAM BLAM*, sent the circuited menace back to the hell it came from: Radio-Shack.
"Ah, much better." He let himself enjoy the resulting silence for a few moments.
'Hmm, well, I'm awake now, might as well get the day started. Huh, wonder what time it is?' He looked
down at his wrist, only to be reminded by the empty space there that his usual watch was in the shop. 'Should
have had Carter do it,' he though again for the seventh time in the past 24 hours. Well that only left...
He glanced at the pile of rubble that *was* just telling him what time it was. "OHFERCRYINOUTLOUD!"
TBC
// Review people, or I'll go into review withdrawl. Not fun for a review junkie to go into withdrawl.