Hey, hey! How's it going? I would hope well! Anyway, enough of my yammering. Well maybe it's a little necessary...
Before I go on, for those who have read my other stories...I want you to know this one is MAJORLY different...I don't even know what to rate it. I'm gonna start with T..but re-read the rules and change it if necessary.
Hi, I'm Raphadelia the Adventuress, and I am writing my first Mario Fanfiction...well I've had this idea for years...it's only now I'm actually showing it to the world. Now before we carry on, I want you to know this is a parody...yes that was already established, but it is rated M because of A LOT of cursing, drug-relations, and so on. I normally don't use swear words on a basis, but for the sake of my laziness I didn't star everything out...So it is uncensored...sowwy...
Disclaimer: I do not own any character from the Mario series (Exception being my OC and my friend's OC)...Nintendo does...and they're awesome...So on With it then!
Welcome To Super Mario High School
Hey, what's up. My name is Mario, you know the motherfucking Mario, savior of the fucking universe. Anyway enough of the fucking résumé and shit, let's just get on with this.
My name is Mario and I go to Super Mario High School. Yeah pretty awesome right? I bet you don't have a school named after you, do you? Jealous? Thought so, but stop being salty and get over it.
I go here with just about every other character from my video games that you know, and some extra bitches but the main crew I hang out with are pretty okay. Like my lame ass brother Luigi, my dumbass, bitchass, motherfucking blond girlfriend Peach, Luigi's crazy ass girlfriend Daisy, Rosalina, I don't know who the fuck she is, but she hangs out with me anyway. Then there's the extra bitches, Princess Zaneba, and Princess Delia. Like where the fuck did you fucking come from?
Anyway, there are also the jackasses that go to my school like Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings, but that's not all.
In our high school there's pretty much a bunch of crazy shit we do, but hardly go to class, like seriously. Teachers can't tell us to go to class because half of us either own the school, saved the world, or would kick their ass if they tried. I fit in all of those categories by the way...
Now, apparently there's some stuff you should know about our school like the fact that if you get caught using powers you get expelled or some shit, but I'm all like 'I'm fucking Mario! I saved the damn world! Scratch that, Universe! All Universes!'.
It's nothing like in the games though, that's for sure. If I touch a spike in real life, I don't bounce off and say 'ow', I touch that shit and really hurts like a motherfucker.
Although, there are some perks to this real life shit. In the game when you win, Peach doesn't show you any kind of love besides a thanks and maybe a fucking kiss on the cheek. What the fuck?! Hell no man. In real life I take Peach in the bathroom and make her scream, if you know what I mean. Haha, oh man, she's such a garden tool...
Oh wait, back to the school. We were talking about powers and shit. Well in real life there aren't any heavy ass bricks you can hit that'll just give you the powers. Here we call those powers, drugs, and we take them whenever we feel its necessary. And their easier to get no matter what size you are, because the teachers hand them out! It's like the only power source you can use on campus without getting ratted out. Only thing is, you can't take Staroids. You know the star thingies you see on the games that destroy everything and whatever. In real life one bite of it and you can legit kill someone, which is why the teachers don't give those out to students. (If you want Staroids, you gotta go talk to my buddy Yoshi, the dude has secret stashes everywhere... Don't tell no one I said anything, or I will hunt every last one of you fuckers down!...)
Moving on about our school, next we have our ever so brilliant activity list: Karting, fucking in the bathroom, study hall, getting high in the bathroom, gym, fighting in the hall, creative arts, and jerking off. However, only the lonely losers do that last thing, so whatever you do don't be them.
All of these activities are welcomed at our school (except for jerking off) and are acceptable by all means; even the princesses do it.
Bowser Jr. and Princess Delia can always be found in one of the bathrooms doing each other...or it's more like Delia rapes Bowser Jr. and he doesn't fight back because no one wants him.
So that's our school it's not hard to miss, I'm sure you'll find it to be great bliss. See what I did there? That shit fucking rhymed, I'm the next fucking Shakespeare! Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to get stoned while anally fucking Princess Peach. Should be fun.
Yo, I'm Princess Daisy. You look at me funny, I'll kick your ass. Talk about me bad, I'll kick your ass. Wink at my boyfriend and I find out about it, I'll kick your ass and rip you damn eyes out! Anyway I'm going to explain about our school's athletic system, because that's where I'm always at when I skip class. The gym.
Even though I don't get stoned or laid at school, doesn't mean I don't take Luigi and force him into it at my castle, so don't think I'm lame for hanging out in the gym all day. I'm fucking Princess Daisy, I do what I want because I can kick your ass! Maybe not Mario's...he's fucking crazy to the tenth power.
Now what we do here at SMHS is pretty a-okay. We've got basketball, power tennis, hockey, softball, football, soccer, volleyball, wrestling, swimming, baseball, karting, fencing, and of course cheerleading. Okay, so some people say cheerleading isn't a really sport, it's just a bunch of girls in short skimpy skirts cheering on their team. And what I have to say you, if you do think that is: FUCK YOU!
Cheerleading is a requirement to all princesses because our principal is an old pervert and Peach does him in his office every Thursday when Mario has to skip school to save the world.
Now can anyone guess who he is? If you said Bowser, give yourself a pat on the back, because you're fucking wrong! Bowser's is the motherfucking Vice Principal! Toadsworth is our principal! And he's freaking old and crabby and takes enjoyment in seeing our princesses cheer in the tightest and shortest shorts ever, and I don't do skirts, I barely do gowns!
Anyway, of all those teams there is one single captain that reigns superior over them all: me. So listen up and listen well, you want to join a team here, you gotta go through me because I'm funding all the fucking athletic shit!
Where was I again? Right, cheering is a requirement to all princesses, blah blah, and monsters and the Mario Bros are allowed on the football team. Remember that and cry about it! If you don't own a kingdom, or are a rough tough monster, no joining football or cheerleading! So go join another team if you're not either one!
Daisy out motherfuckers!
Luigi time! Hyia, my name is Luigi, and I am co-owner/founder/funder/Student Counsel President of Super Mario High School. With all that great power, there is an even greater responsibility, plus a chance to get free icee cups at lunch!
Now, I am more than willing to explain to the youth audience of our current enrollment opportunities. Is this a chance for you to be seen in our together story along with me and my friends? Of course, but what can we offer you as a student here?
Well we have our very own student lounge, that was pulled responsibly from our school funding, multiple tennis courts, five karting tracks, and a roller coaster! Laughing out loud, I'm only kidding about the roller coaster, but we indeed have many other divisions at our school that may entice you to join us.
But remember to do so you must choose at the most three extra curricular activities, one sport/club, and four required core classes. These courses should all add up to a total of eight periods a day, which I'm sure you will find more than enjoyable!
Current available courses are listed below:
Core Classes
*one of each
Mathematics
Algebra I B
Geometry
Algebra II/Trig
Pre-Calculus
Calculus
Statistics
Science
Biology
Physics
Chemistry
Anatomy
History
World History
Mario History
Political Science
Government
English
English 9
English 10
English 11
English 12
Shakespearean (3 English credits required)
Extracurricular/Clubs
Karting
Band
Choir
Drama
Art
Student Counsel
E.V.I.L (Every Villian Is Lemons)
Koopas Unite
Boo off!
Lemonade Club
And I believe that, my girlfriend has covered all the athletic properties, so it would be superfluous to go on with that list. I hope you find your classes pleasing as you choose them, and remember you are required to choose eight.
Until next time!
Alright, everything he just said...throw it out of the fucking window!
Ugh, Luigi needs to get his life in order, because he obviously loves to waste time with useless crap.
I know right!
Anyway, Deli' tell the nice people who you are and we can rap this puppy up.
Fine by me. I'm Princess Delia, only my friends can call me Deli'. If you call me that, I'll break every bone in your body like a toothpick!
Cool it girlfriend. I'm Princess Delia's best friend, Princess Zaneba. We are like the main crew you never see in the games-
So Original Characters?
Yeah, sure. Anyway, we are on the stupid Student Counsel too, as the secretaries and treasurers.
The roles had to be doubled up for us because we're close BFFs.
I guess so, but then again no one else would join this stupid thing, and Luigi suckered us in!
Can we get on to the admissions administrator's job, my feet are hurting...
Should've wore flats instead if high heels.
We can wear flats with our ball gowns?! Holy Moon Pools! I wish I would've known that!
So registry begins simple, like Delia's love life.
-_-"
It starts out with a name and, oh forget this shit! I'm not gonna do this with poetic justice or whateves! Take the enrollment sheet and get outta here!
Nice way to show your compassion as a princess!
I'm sorry I can't think straight when Peach is climbing on the desk, KNOCKING OVER MY SHIT!
Let's just fill out this enrollment sheet before Zaneba rips Peach in half...
We start of course with you name:
Name (This includes your status/species i.e., Larry Koopa or Princess Peach. It's okay if you don't have one, just let me know):
Species (human, Boo, Toad, Koopa, dinosaur thing):
Personality:
Appearance:
Age (13-19):
Grade:
Courses (optional):
Extracurricular Activities (some-what optional):
Friends (optional):
Crushes/Relationship partner (the obvious such as Mario and Co. are not available for relationships for obvious reasons):
Good Guy/Bad Guy:
Kingdom you live in (Koopa, Mushroom, Blooper...):
Other (We must know any other additional information, like allergies to power drugs, before teachers can hand them out):
And that should conclude the list. Sorry if I seem a little formal right now, Luigi says he won't give us the credit for this stupid club if we don't speak in a royal manner. And I want to graduate next year!
Otherwise, I hope you find our school to be what you're looking for, and yada yada. If you'll excuse me I'm gonna go get high in one of the girls' bathrooms. Au revoir!
Alright, I hope I uncensored everything...I think I'm gonna triple check the rules again for swearing...
I do not promote the use of drugs, don't do them! That's all I have to say on the topic... Another thing, using curse words in a public conversation is very uncivilized and impolite... XD I know I'm being a hypocrite due to what I just wrote...but I thought it'd be fun to write this so it stays.
Oh! Now I remember, if you wish to sign up for this High School, the enrollment sheet was just given to you...I accept anyone of anywhere... Just know if I get like a million entries it will be hard to like put them all in the story, but I can try!
If anyone has any suggestions, I'm open to them...just try not to be cruel...I'm a little sensitive...
Until next time?
~Raphadelia the Adventuress