Oh look, it's another HP fanfic I wrote as a Christmas present for a friend- except this one has a Christmas connection! Sort of. By god, Tonks and the Lupins are important to me.
Disclaimer: yup
The Least Romantic House in the World
Dumbledore had taken certain precautions when introducing Sirius to the Aurors who had joined the Order of the Phoenix, but this didn't stop any of them from drawing their wands immediately. Sirius simply put his hands up. He'd had a feeling this wouldn't go well.
"Dumbledore, you've finally lost your mind," Mad-Eye Moody grunted.
"Perhaps, but that would be unrelated to the matter of Sirius' innocence," Dumbledore said. Remus and the Weasleys made very good allies in explaining Sirius' story, and eventually calmed the Aurors down. Yet nobody put their wands away until Moody had.
"How did you do it, then?" Moody asked. "Half the department is assigned to trailing you, me, dragged out of retirement—how in the world did you slip under our noses?"
"I'm an Animagus," Sirius said simply. "That's how I got out of Azkaban in the first place."
A demonstration was rather entertaining but not altogether helpful, and the peace around the table during the Order's first meeting was a little strained until they took a break to make tea.
"You must be Andromeda's daughter," Sirius told the pink-haired witch sitting across from him, decked out in dragonhide boots, a Bizarre Sisters t-shirt, and sparkling nail polish. She was nothing like the pretty and proper girl Sirius remembered- the one who would keep all the little cousins in check, never a hair out of place or a crease in her skirts. But 'Tonks' wasn't that common of a name, and if there was one name Sirius had heard frequently it was the name of the muggleborn man the Noble House of Black's posterchild had run away to elope with.
"Yeah," Tonks replied. "She quite liked you. She said you were her favourite cousin, up until you slaughtered a pack of muggles of course. So I guess you still are, after all."
Sirius grinned, and held out his hand. "Pleased to meet you."
"Very," Tonks said with a grin.
That was when the rest of the Aurors came around to like Sirius too.
"I'm sorry to leave you all with such heavy news," Dumbledore said, rising. "But there's nothing much to add, and I do not care to leave Hogwarts unattended much longer. Unless anybody has any additional business to bring to the table, I propose a motion to adjourn this meeting of the Order of the Phoenix."
"Second," Minerva McGonagall said.
"The motion carries," Dumbledore said, rising. "Have a good night everybody. Get home safely."
With that, the Hogwarts professors left the meeting to apparate back to the castle together—Tonks had a sneaking suspicion that the headmaster was able to pass the castle's guards. Other than that, everybody seemed shell-shocked. Sirius ran a hand through his hair. News about Harry made him especially nervous.
Remus got up. "I'll make hot chocolate. Who would like to stay for a cup?"
The offer caught the attention of Fleur Delacour (and by extension Bill Weasley), Amos Diggory, Kingsley, and herself.
"Mad-Eye, you heading home alone?" she asked, getting up.
"I'll be fine," he gruffed. "I was catching dark wizards before you were even old enough to skip across fields catching butterflies."
"Alright, old man, be safe," Tonks said.
While she was up, she followed Remus into the kitchen and watched him heat milk over the stovetop and got through the kitchen cupboards looking for what he needed. She sat on the counter next to him.
"Can I help?"
"That's alright," Remus said. She watched him make it, chopping up real chocolate into little pieces and incorporating it into the milk… there was also cocoa powder and vanilla extract involved in this operation. It smelled incredibly delicious.
"Sweet tooth?" he asked her.
"Yeah, actually," Tonks admitted.
"Me too," he said. He offered her a piece of chocolate before throwing the last of it into the warming milk. With a flick of his wand, an army of cups lined up on the counter.
"I can pour," Tonks said. She took a ladle hanging above the stove, but tripped as she hopped off the counter. Remus caught her before she did any damage.
"I'm okay!" she called out instinctively. She heard Kingsley laughing in the room next door. Remus looked at her, worried.
"Don't worry," she said. "I'm the absolute clumsiest. I've got all the grace of a mountain troll."
"That doesn't mean you aren't hurt," he said. "Are you okay?"
Tonks nodded, and Remus let her arm go now that she was back on two feet. She drew her own wand and with a flick, the ladle was dolling out portions of hot chocolate out of its own accord.
"That does seem more prudent," Remus smiled.
For Sirius, the best days were those when somebody in the Order spent the night at headquarters. This meant putting together an actual meal, preparing one of the bedrooms for the night, and (best of all) company. This was also a rather good example of how bored he truly was—housekeeping was exciting.
But truly, company could boost his mood for up to a week afterwards. Remus had noticed, of course, and had taken to spending most of his time at Grimmauld Place outside of full moons. Sirius had even seen him line some books on the dresser of the room he usually took, which was a sure sign of occupation that slapped a smile on his face for a week. It would be just like old times, then, when they were renting in London together.
When Tonks came into an Order meeting fuming about the latest antics of her roommates, Sirius told her to stay the night instead of dealing with them and miraculously enough she did. Dumbledore had instructed each of them to leave a bag at Grimmauld Place should they need to go into hiding, so this kind of spontaneity wasn't too impossible. Sirius was delighted. Additionally, it was a new moon today, arguably the hardest day of the month for Remus, so he was sitting at the kitchen table with a book he couldn't quite focus on and offering to help Sirius every now and then.
"All is well," Sirius said, setting a knife to the task of chopping up onions. He had recently taken up cooking, when Molly Weasley wasn't around that was—because if Molly was near, then what was the point? Remus had been skeptical at first but had politely served as guinea pig many times since, and now agreed that Sirius was getting the hang of it. He had even made bread the other day, too. What a ridiculous life he was leading.
Still, Remus and Tonks made for good company.
Sirius knew he had no chance at winning a game of wizard chess against Remus, but had sworn, when he was younger and stupider, that he could and would beat him at least once before dying. So here he was, in the living room, sitting across the coffee table from Remus losing miserably. Sirius could feel that the end was near and was, at this point, just being a baby about it and delaying any progress.
"Sirius, move your rook to D7," Tonks said. She was sitting on the couch behind him, looking over a case file from work. Neither of them had realized he'd been watching, judging by the surprised look on Remus' face.
The chess pieces apparently registered Tonks' voice and thought that she had the right idea, even if she wasn't officially playing, because they moved.
"He won't be able to hide from the queen forever," Remus said.
"No, but at least this way Sirius has a chance at taking down a few more pieces without you exploiting his overattachment to pawns," Tonks said.
"I'm not over attached to pawns," Sirius scoffed.
"Look at your board," Tonks said. "You have so many left compared to Remus. You refuse to sacrifice them, you put stronger pieces in jeopardy for them—honestly, it would be cute if it weren't so sad."
"She's right," Remus said. "You've always played like that."
"Ridiculous," Sirius scoffed.
"I know," Remus said. "And yet here we are."
As he spoke he wasn't quite looking at Sirius, but rather at the pink-haired witch who sat behind him. She'd turned back to her case file as if nothing was amiss, but Remus was deeply impressed.
James used to make fun of Sirius for it, but his nose had gotten much more sensitive since he'd become an Animagus. His sense of smell was hilariously improved, which was why he followed the unknown odour to the front hall to find that Tonks had come in, laden with plastic bags filled with Styrofoam containers that Remus was helping her manage.
"What's this then?" Sirius asked. "What smells so good?"
"It's Indian food," Tonks said. "I just picked it up after work, piping hot."
"Picked up half the restaurant from the looks of it," Remus said.
"Well, I didn't know what he'd like," Tonks said nodding her head towards Sirius. "Besides, Kingsley said he'd come by and that man eats like there's no tomorrow. Dumbledore said he might stop by as well, and I was feeling curious about his spice tolerance as well."
She turned to look at Sirius more specifically. "You spent a year hiding, twelve years in Azkaban, and sixteen years before that cooped up with the purebloods. I figured there'd be a few things that you'd missed as far as worldly experiences are concerned. So I thought, what do I have now that my life would be worst if I didn't have? And now we're having Indian food for supper."
"It can't be that good," Sirius said.
"Wait a bit before saying that," Remus said.
One bite of chicken tikka later, and Sirius agreed that his quality of life had indeed increased.
They sat in the sitting room of Grimmauld Place with mugs of honeybeer, listening to the evening report on the radio and taking notes for Dumbledore—or rather Remus was taking notes while Sirius and Tonks provided colour commentating. Every now and then they made him laugh or spoke too loudly, and he had to chide them for making him miss a date or name or figure that was being reported. He had a blanket thrown across his knees, his entire system thrown off by yet another moon. There was a chill the blankets and the cup of tea in his hands couldn't seem to beat, and his fatigue seemed to make its way deep into his bones, where a humming ache also lay. But still, he was smiling at the two idiots laying on the floor and shouting at the radio.
When it was resolved that Harry was going to come to Grimmauld Place for the rest of the summer, Sirius was elated. He drove Molly Weasley (the only person he knew who had ever taken care of Harry beyond spoon-feeding him purees and babbling and making trips to the playground and tracking down his favourite stuffee) absolutely mad with questions—which was saying something since Molly Weasley herself was hyper prepared.
"Relax," Remus told him once while they were trying to unstick what appeared to be gnome feces from the corner of what would become some of the Weasley children's bedroom. "Harry's grown up relatively alone, we know this. As much as he needs support right now, you don't want to overwhelm him."
"That's because he didn't have us," Sirius said. "He was cheated."
"Perhaps," Remus said. "But that won't change the reality."
"I see what you're saying. But if he asks me to stay in this godforsaken house, I won't be saying no and I expect you to help me fight Dumbledore on this."
"Fight Dumbledore on what?" Tonks said, coming into the room. "If it's about leaving the house again—"
"It's not about leaving the house again," Sirius grumbled.
"Are you doing something about feces in here too?" Tonks asked.
"Yes," Sirius said.
"God, I can't believe I've been staying here," Tonks said, wandering back out to find something else useful to do.
"Isn't my charming company worth anything to you?" Sirius called out.
"Not yours, no," Tonks called back. Remus heard her in the hallway offering to do something for Molly Weasley and then tripping over her own feet (probably) and apologizing profusely. He couldn't help but smile.
"Check mate," Remus said moving his rook three squares forwards.
"Damn," Tonks said, clucking her tongue. She'd been too focused on protecting her queen—she'd failed to realize that every time that Remus had moved a piece towards the queen, he'd also been cornering her king. He was good.
"I'd like to say this was a tight match…" Sirius said.
"I'd like to say that you should fuck right off, Black," Tonks said.
"So rude," Sirius clucked his tongue. "What would Andromeda say? She made me wash my mouth out with soap for less."
"Me too," Tonks said. "As I'm sure you're aware, it doesn't work well. But that was a good game, Remus."
"You're very good," Remus said.
"No need to humour me," Tonks said. She scratched the back of her head. For today her hair spilled down her back and was a foamy, sea green colour. There was something exciting about finding out which shape Tonks would be taking as she waltzed (or stumbled) into Grimmauld Place every day—especially since Remus was getting good at seeing through the disguises and finding her tells and recognizing her. To be fair, he had fallen for her oh, Dumbledore just recruited me to the order, I'm new here act twice before (which was not a record, surprisingly). Green suited her, but not as well as pink. The reflection barged into Remus' mind rather impolitely, which led him down the rabbit hole of pondering what exactly pink suited since she was a metamorphmagus after all.
"We play a lot of games in the office, when we're waiting around for paperwork to come in or tests to come or permits from the Wizenmagot," Tonks said. "I can beat bloody Mad-Eye at chess, you know, and I will beat you too."
"I suppose we'll have to play quite a few more games," Remus said.
"Well I suppose so," Tonks said crossing her arms stubbornly and leaning back in her chair.
While they were busy looking at each other, Sirius was examining the pair of them. This would be the first moment that he wondered to himself is this a thing? However, he was distracted a few moments later because Kingsley Shacklebolt turned up with dinner, which infinitely more important because tonight they were trying a new Indian restaurant that muggles said had the best curries in London.
"I appreciate your offer," Dumbledore told Sirius, "but I'm afraid that my answer remains unchanged."
"I'm still a good dueler," Sirius said, looking around the table as if anybody in the Order needed to be convinced. "Even after all these years, I have a lot to offer."
"I don't want to deny that," Dumbledore said. "But even in your Animagus shape, an unaccompanied black dog would draw quite a bit of attention."
Tonks put up her hand. "What if we got him a leash, sir?"
Remus choked on his tea.
"I'll second that," he said once he'd composed himself. "I promise, I'll help walk him."
"Please sir, let us get a dog," Kingsley said—at which point the table lost its composition and a significant amount of tension was defused. Tonks winked at Remus across the table.
Sirius and Tonks sat across from him, whispering. Remus smiled and examined the dining room walls as they conferred, up until they broke their little huddle and moved a bishop to the right. He grinned and captured the queen with his rook.
"Ha!" Sirius said, moving his own rook to capture Remus'. Remus moved his own king to the left now that the coast was clear and effectively trapped theirs, while opening up the line of fire that was his queen's range across the board.
"Check mate," Remus said.
The two of them groaned.
"I don't think the pair of you playing together is helpful at all," Remus said.
"Oh, shut it Moony," Sirius said.
Tonks laughed. "Moony?"
"An old nickname," Remus said. "Not a very creative one, granted."
"Oye," Sirius said. "We worked hard on it."
"Right," Remus said. "As I was saying, not a very creative one—but a good one."
Tonks laughed. "I overheard McGonagall telling Dumbledore that with your track record, it was a miracle you weren't causing more trouble. Care to elaborate?"
"Oh, I would," Sirius said. "Only I'm not quite sure where we would even begin."
"I think the very first time that James tried getting around the no students out of bed rule by levitating his bed across the halls with us onboard is fitting," Remus said.
"Excuse me?" Tonks laughed. "Harry's dad, this was? Bloody hell. And what year?"
"Oh, this was first year," Sirius said. "It was our first month of school, actually. We were looking for a friend who had snuck out to go cry in a restroom—in retrospective we should have let him rot, but that's another story for another day. We got rather far before our spells failed, to be honest. McGonagall was rather lenient on her sentence. We argued the technicalities well. I think she also values pure nerve."
Tonks laughed. "I can't believe she hasn't retired yet."
"We tried in the sixth year to push her over the edge, but the project was deemed unrealistic," Sirius said.
"Which might mean nothing to you, but was a very rarely allocated status," Remus said.
"And you were just as much a troublemaker?" Tonks asked him.
"Tonks, the things this man came up with before he became a sixty-year old man with a tea drinking problem and a nine o'clock curfew—you wouldn't believe," Sirius said.
"Tell me more," she grinned.
Remus' stomach was aching. Aching from laughing so hard, the very thought threatened to send him into another round of spiraling laughter. He hadn't even drunk like the other Order members who had celebrated their recent win, and so couldn't even blame it on the alcohol. It just had to be Tonks. They were sitting on the stairs of the first landing now.
"I haven't laughed that hard in a long time," he said, wiping at his eyes.
"Good thing I'm here every Tuesday then, isn't it?" Tonks grinned.
"I suppose it is," Remus said. His mouth felt pasty, but he managed to open it anyways. "I-"
"Glad you're all having such a great time," a very moody Sirius said right behind them. "But some of us have got things to do."
They got up hastily to let him pass.
Remus chewed his lip.
"Harry's departure is hard on him," Remus said quietly.
"I can tell," Tonks nodded. "They've got a good bond, all things considered."
"They do," Remus said. "I think Alastor might have told Dumbledore about his excursion to King's Cross as well—Dumbledore spoke to him yesterday, and he did not look happy. I don't want him to be alone right now, I think I'm going to start spending nights here too."
"A good idea," Tonks said. "My roommates are driving me mad again, anyways."
Remus smiled. "What about this time?"
He pretended to be flabbergasted, but secretly he thanked Erica Spinnet and Madeline McCormac for being so insufferable as to drive Tonks out of their flat.
"We'll have to change the schedule up," Mad-Eye said, "now that Scrimgeour's given Kingsley more night shifts."
"Do you reckon that that's a sign that they're on to your activity with the Order?" Bill Weasley asked.
"No," Kinglsey said. "Scrimgeour doesn't play with his food. If he thought something was amiss, he would confront us head-on."
"Right, then," Mad-Eye said. "Who's interested in joining Remus for surveillance shifts at the Dolohov House?"
"I am," Tonks blurted out.
"You don't have any days off this week," Kingsley said, as if she hadn't seen their work schedule.
"Right," Tonks said. "But that's fine. I mean, Kinglsey was assigned those shifts to make sure we always have a Ministry employee by the Dolohov House, right? To keep him tame if things go awry. If Arthur's at the Department of Mysteries, then it makes sense that I go."
"Right," Mad-Eye said. "Tonks it is, then."
Tonks grinned and looked over at Remus quickly, to see if he showed any sign of being as excited as she was, but his face was impassible.
Sirius noticed though, and it made him grin. He couldn't believe this was happening in the least romantic house in the world, but at least it gave him something to watch.
Tonks sat next to him, holding a bag of Molly's healing herbs to her busted lip.
"The other group should be back by now," she repeated. "Mad-Eye, I think this is the time to call Dumbledore…"
"We said we'd call Dumbledore at the half-hour mark Nymphadora," he said.
"Don't call me Nymphadora and don't act as if I wasn't at the briefing," she said. "Mad-Eye, they might not have known we were coming but they were prepared for intruders, I have no idea what the other group…"
That was when the front door of Grimmauld Place opened and Remus and Bill stumbled in. Bill held his arm strangely, if she'd spent more than a moment looking at it she may have realized that it was actually dislocated, but her focus was mostly on Remus who looked relatively unscathed.
"Remus!" she said bouncing to her feet and, despite Molly's previous advice not to put any pressure on her ankle, rushing to him. She threw her arms around his shoulders, and his clasped around her just as automatically.
"I'm okay," Remus said. To whoever else was in proximity he said, "Someone should have a look at Bill's shoulder." Then he turned back to her and she could tell by his breath that his lips lingered over the top of her head for just a second, before he decided against something and simply repeated to her, "I'm okay."
That was when her ankle gave out under her and Remus caught her and Moody exclaimed, "for the love of Merlin, Nymphadora!"
"What did you do?" Remus asked.
"Got Hestia out of a fairly ugly Snaker's Snare the hard way," Tonks said. "It wasn't my first choice, but we were a bit short on time, curtesy of Lucius Malfoy that bastard."
Sirius slipped his arm under Tonks' other arm and they moved along.
Sirius was, at that moment, very interested in the prospect of Indian takeout. The trouble, of course, was that he wasn't able to leave the house to go pick up any kind of food. The fact that their favourite restaurant was only two blocks away was infuriating—it just felt like insult to injury. His only hope was that Tonks or Remus and whoever else was around Grimmauld Place at that particular moment would be just as tempted. So off Sirius went roaming around the house, obeying Dumbledore's orders and knocking on doors.
The room Tonks had adopted as her own was empty, although her boots were strewn on the floor—as was the heavy cloak with all the pockets she typically wore to work. He didn't think she was out on Order business tonight, but he'd been wrong before.
Alright, Remus then, he told himself.
He made his way down the hall and was about to knock on Remus' door when he understood why the door was shut and realized that he really, really, really shouldn't disturb.
He wasn't sure how to feel about that, but a sly grin hung off his lips because he had so seen this coming and would absolutely be able to use this as ammunition in the near future—should he chose to do so.
Then again, he almost starved that night.
"What's this, then?" Tonks asked, striding into the kitchen, changed out of her work clothes and into a pair of jeans that hung low on her hips, a faded Hufflepuff t-shirt, and a cardigan striped with three different greens.
Not chicken tikka, Sirius thought bitterly. That was the mean part of him, which still craved chicken tikka and onion bhaji and daal.
"Baked beans with pork chop and applesauce," Sirius proudly explained. "There'll be green beans and potatoes to go with, and bread if any's left."
"I like the sound of that," Tonks said. "Need help?"
"You'll chop your hand off and get blood in my beans."
"That's quite rude."
"Also quite true," Sirius said. "And beans are Remus' favourite, and he could really use the pick-me-up, so I rather not."
Tonks looked from the kitchen to the dining room. The full moon had been last night, and Remus was looking a little worse for wear.
"Is it always this bad? For him."
She hoisted herself onto the kitchen counter.
"It was better when he wasn't alone," Sirius said. With a flick of his wand, the pork chops in the oven turned themselves for a nice, even roast. "That's the reason I became an Animagus- well, my friend James and I and… So that he wouldn't be alone every full moon. But even then, it really took it out of him."
Remus wouldn't tell Sirius where he went and how he organized himself on full moons now, beyond assuring him that he was a safe distance from anybody who could get hurt. Spare himself, apparently.
Tonks nodded. "Is there anything to do?"
"Not really," Sirius said. "It's hard."
"Yes," Tonks nodded. "I mean, I'm sure it is, for his friends and…"
"And witches who fancy him," Sirius filled in. Tonks elbowed him.
"Come off it," Sirius said. "Remember, I spend most of my time people watching and thinking."
"And baking bread and playing house."
"Which I can do while people watching and thinking," Sirius said. "Are you going to tell me I'm wrong?"
"I'm going to tell you you're a tool," Tonks said.
"Check," Remus said. Tonks moved a piece, Remus responded.
"Check," Remus said again.
"Right," Tonks said moving a piece.
"You can't do that," Remus said. "Or my bishop will take your knight, and then your king."
"Bugger off," Tonks said slouching against the kitchen table, but still studying the game.
That was when Dumbledore strode into the kitchen, presumably to get his usual cup of tea before the Order meeting, and glanced at the board.
"Nymphadora, have you considered moving the Pawn on 2G to 2F? With a quick en passant, it could turn into a queen and then force Remus to move his king," Dumbledore said calmly.
Remus felt his jaw drop, just as Tonks brightened up considerably- the pink in her hair jumped a few shades.
"I do believe I will consider that, professor," Tonks said. Dumbledore moved along, as if he hadn't just changed everything, and Tonks looked at Remus smugly as her pieces moved across the board.
"That doesn't count," Remus said. "In the game. Well, in our big game. That's outside help."
"It counts in this game," Tonks said. "Pawn to 2F. Check yourself, Remus."
Remus still looked concerned.
"Fine," Tonks conceded. "If I win this one, it won't count in our game. You'll still be undefeated, and I'll still resent you bitterly for it and challenge you to new games endlessly."
Remus smiled, and then added "What makes you think you'll win this one? Queen to 2F."
Tonks stumbled in, huffing and puffing. For all the lack of eye contact she was making, Sirius was in the room with the family tree from which her mother had been erased—a room that Tonks ordinarily avoided—so Sirius knew that she had come to find him specifically.
"Do you really always get all the women?" Tonks asked Sirius seemingly out of nowhere.
"Of course," Sirius said. "I mean, I'm such a catch—what with the murder and treason charges, the 10 000 galleon reward on my head, the inability to leave the house…"
"At Hogwarts," she snapped. "When you were young."
Sirius was a bit hurt at the implication that he was old but gave Tonks a reasonable answer because even he could see that now was not the time.
"It was never a problem," he said. He still wasn't entirely sure who had told Tonks this particular piece of information and why, nor why she seemed so resentful about it.
"Well since everything was so lovely," Tonks said, "tell me Sirius in your infinite wisdom and experience, what is the appropriate reaction to someone telling you that they've fallen for you, and on multiple occasions at that. One much more explicit than the rest, granted, but on multiple occasions nonetheless?"
Sirius wasn't sure what to do about this situation.
"I appreciate the subtlety here," Sirius said. "But we're speaking of Remus, yes?"
Tonks sighed and dug her fingers in her hair. "Of course we're speaking of Remus. Yes, we absolutely are. I'm not mad, then? I've been… I've been obvious enough."
Sirius was wondering why his Indian takeout had been withheld from him if Tonks' concern was whether or not she'd been obvious enough.
"Keep in mind that I live here," Sirius said, "and have also never been more bored in my entire life, so spend a lot of time thinking about these things. But yes. I think so."
Tonks sighed. She folded her hands together, her head bowed. For the first time, Sirius got some sense of Andromeda from her. He'd once seen her mother in exactly that tired position, around the dinner table at Easter when the conversation had turned sour against muggleborns—although of course, everybody had been saying 'mudblood.' That had been three months before she'd left and gone with Ted Tonks.
"I don't understand," she said. "I just don't. Mad-Eye says I'm a good Auror because I have a good sense of things, and this… This could be good, Sirius. This could be good. I feel it. And when Remus isn't running away from me, I think… I think that he sees it too. When we're alone together—oh, keep it together Black, I won't give you the details… But when it's just us, there's no problem. I could spend hours with him, I could tell him anything, I could spend hours listening to him talk, I could fight about the radio or watch him cook for ages. Sometimes we're not even doing anything, we're just lying in bed and I think to myself that I've never been more at ease and I've never been happier. But then I invite him to one Christmas party, one little Christmas function at work where he'll know all kinds of other people, and suddenly it's like I trespassed. It's like, there's no problem with the thing itself but whenever he's reminded that the thing is a thing and that there's a thingness to it, it's the end of the world. As if it doesn't exist when we don't talk about it."
"Yeah," Sirius said. "Sounds about right."
This was obviously not helpful to Tonks.
"Look, he's scared for you," Sirius said.
"I'm not," Tonks said. The crease that formed between her eyebrows when she said that made her look tough, and Sirius imagined Mad-Eye must have seen that moments before he decided she would become his protégée.
"He thinks that's because you don't understand the implications—or how hard it is for werewolves out there."
"I'm not an idiot."
"That's not what he thinks," Sirius said. "It's complicated."
"I just love him Sirius, is that so hard to understand?" Tonks burst out. Sirius wondered if Remus had heard those exact words, but decided to leave that alone.
"I think," Sirius told her, "that you'll find that one of the most difficult parts of having any kind of relationship with Remus Lupin will be convincing him that he is worthy of the love you have for him, regardless of its shape or quantity."
Tonks looked away. "And you haven't found a way around this, have you?"
"No," Sirius said.
"That's painful," Tonks said. "He deserves better than he's gotten."
"Which he thinks is more than he deserves," Sirius said. "I'm not saying he's right Tonks, I'm saying that this is what you're up against. Thirty-five years of perceived worthlessness."
Tonks tipped her head back and sighed.
"For the record," Sirius said, "I also think it could be good. I think you're good for him—you peel back the years and the pain that have been piled on and bring the real him out."
"It's good to know I'm not mad," Tonks said. She looked up at him. "You know, when Voldemort moves into the open again it'll be a lot easier for us to prove your innocence. We'll clear your name, get you out of this house. You can get a different place if you like, and we can relocate Harry more permanently. We'll set you up to be happy too."
"I appreciate that," Sirius said. "But you'll need to be more patient than I am. Remus will come around. It will take him forever and a day, but he'll come around."
"I'll be patient," Tonks said. "But if I ever have the opportunity to kick Remus' arse into gear, you know I'll be aiming carefully."
Sirius laughed, and eventually she laughed too.
Patience had been another lovely thing about Andromeda Tonks, née Black.
"Help me with dishes?" Sirius asked.
"Of course," Remus said. "See, I told you that doing them by hand was relaxing."
"I'm filling in time Remus, this house's walls are closing in on me. I'll dry."
Remus plunged his hands into the soapy water.
"So," Sirius said. "Tonks, huh?"
Remus promptly removed his hands from the water.
"No," he said, snatching the towel Sirius was holding and drying his hands.
"Remus come back… We can talk about this like adults! You're being unreasonable," Sirius called. He waited a second. "And you're walking away from me so quickly, you must know it's true."
Remus stopped in the doorframe of the kitchen and turned around, leaning against it.
"What's true?" Remus asked meekly.
"That you like her," Sirius said simply.
"That doesn't mean anything," Remus said.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Sirius said. "Yes it does. Because she likes you, so when you like her back… well Remus, most people take advantage of that kind of a moment to have what's called a relationship."
"Sirius, remind me, why are you involved in this?" Remus asked.
"Because of Indian take-out!" Sirius said, exasperated.
"Excuse me?"
"Look, I'm just trying to play messenger owl here…"
"Sirius this isn't school," Remus said, turning to walk away.
"What would James say?" Sirius called.
Remus turned around. "That's not fair."
"Oh, it's fair—we limited the James card to dire situations, and I'm going to go ahead and call this one. You can vote against me, but we'll just be tied. What would James say, do you think?" James had always been the best at giving advice.
"How old is James when he's commenting on this?"
"Let's say… Twenty years old, while Lily was pregnant with Harry—that was a very philosophical time for him."
Remus looked away. "He would say that the best thing that ever happened to him was Lily Evans seeing through him and telling him so, that way he lowered his guard."
"I agree," Sirius said.
"I am not James," Remus said. "I am not a young man, I am not a healthy man, and I do not have a promising future unraveled before me."
"Not sure that's what Tonks is looking for," Sirius said. "Based off of my completely objective observations as an independent third party."
"I didn't mean to," Remus said softly.
"What, to fall for Tonks? To exist in her general vicinity so that she would fall for you? That's not the point, is it? It's happened even if you don't give it a name." Sirius said.
Remus didn't say anything.
"Look, you're my oldest friend, but I've gone and gotten myself attached to this spunky pink-haired fireball, and so Tonks is my friend now too. The truth is that part of me is bringing this to you because she doesn't understand what she did wrong."
"She didn't do anything wrong," Remus said softly.
"Then tell her that. She's hurting now," Sirius said.
"Sirius, I would hurt her so much more down the line," Remus said. "This is growing pains compared to what it would be like to… to actually… the pain there would be if…"
"Look," Sirius said. "James' advice would be to go for it. And what would Lily say?"
"Be kind to yourself," Remus said, which was an exact quote that had slipped past Lily's lips on multiple occasions.
"Right," Sirius said, crossing his arms over his chest. He wasn't sure he had helped, he wasn't sure he could help, but what better advice could he possibly give in this particular situation? "Let's call that food for thought?"
"You keep mentioning food," Remus said. "Are you hungry? Did you want me to run down to that Indian take-out spot you like or something?"
"Please," Sirius sighed.
And for now, the knowledge that he was getting his chicken tikka was the only resolution to a love story that Sirius needed.
He was sitting in the drawing room trying to read one of those classics of wizarding literature that everybody said everybody ought to read. He was starting to think that people were only saying that to look well-bred and educated because this brick of a novel was the most boring thing since Professor Binns.
That was what he was up to when Remus came through, wearing freshly washed and pressed dress robes. He recalled having heard Kingsley complain about having to go shoppingat the last Order meeting, and Tonks had had a garment bag flung over her arm when she'd stopped by on her way to work that morning to leave a message to Dumbledore.
Sirius grinned. "You're going to the Auror's office party, aren't you?"
"It's the entire Department of Magical Law Enforcement," Remus said. He nervously readjusted his cuffs.
Sirius grinned even wider.
"Wipe that smile off your face Sirius Black, or I will," Remus said. "I… I felt bad."
"Of course."
"For leading her on, and not being as clear as I could have been."
"Right."
"I told her I'd go with her, but it was just… just this once," Remus said. "Because it can only be this once."
"Okay," Sirius said.
"Stop smiling."
"You're just so handsome all dressed up," Sirius said. "I should take a picture."
"Stop," Remus said gravely. "Don't push it."
"I won't," Sirius said. "It'll just be nice to be best man again."
"Sirius," Remus sighed.
"Alright, alright, I'll back off," Sirius said, sinking back into the couch. He still couldn't stop smiling. "Is she meeting you here?"
"How daft do you think I am?" Remus said. "I don't want you anywhere near her at this particular moment. I'm going to go pick her up at her flat."
"Whose address you know for an unspecified reason."
"You talk a lot for a man who can be sent back to Azkaban at a moment's notice," Remus said. Sirius burst out laughing, and then regained his composure for long enough to honestly and sincerely tell Remus to have a good night. And as he left Grimmauld Place, a bouquet of tiny Christmas roses appeared in Remus' hand.