He swiftly put on his backpack, sniffing as he buckled it across his stomach. He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. He was waiting for her to be alone. He didn't want to talk to her with others around; he wanted to talk with her by himself…without Sawyer.
He glanced over at Sawyer's tent and saw his chance. She was standing up, folding laundry and gently flipping back her long hair to keep it out of the way. He felt his breathing slow down and his eyes blinked slower than usual. She was…she was…He coughed and took in a sharp breath of air to get him out of his state. She wouldn't be alone for long and he needed to ask her something.
Quickly he made his way over, wasting no time. "Hi Kate," He said calmly, contradicting how nervous he was feeling inside.
"Hi Jack," She replied back as if she wasn't surprised he was talking to her…even though he hadn't talked to her for a week.
He paused, trying to find the words he wanted to say. She noticed his pause and narrowed her eyes, "You okay?"
His skin was pale and his eyelids red and baggy. He hadn't slept in awhile. He remembered a time when she would've taken care of him, when she would've been the doctor to him. But that time was a long time ago and things had changed.
"I'm fine Kate," He nodded at her to try and make her accept it but he knew she wouldn't believe him. "I was out for a walk the other day and I found some more wreckage from the plane."
"Plane wreckage?" She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Yeah plane wreckage. Just out there," He pointed over her left shoulder. "I've already taken back some medicine I found among the suitcases but I need an extra hand to carry the rest back."
"How did we miss this before?"
He opened his mouth when he heard a familiar voice, "Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Sawyer walked up to Kate and flashed a smirk at Jack, "Doctor making a few more house calls than usual?"
"I was just asking Kate to help me Sawyer."
"Well Doc, last time I checked the only person she was helping was me." Sawyer kept his smirk. "So if you were looking for a little--"
"I just need an extra pair of hands," Jack crossed his arms and stared back at Sawyer, "But if you think Kate can't help then I'll just ask Sayid if he can," He shrugged and lifted his arms slightly, leaving the two of them together. Before he left, he gave a glance to Kate. He knew she didn't like having Sawyer tell her what to do so he hoped his leaving would trigger her accepting his question.
"I'm going with Jack," Kate picked up her backpack.
"Freckles," He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him, "You chose me, remember?"
"It's just a walk Sawyer," She wretched her arm out of his grasp. "I'll be back soon." She turned away from him before he could kiss her goodbye. She wouldn't deal with men who told her what to do.
She ran up to Jack and touched his arm, "Hey."
He turned to look at her, not surprised that she had coming running to him, "I'm coming with you."
He nodded at her, "Great. Wreckage is this way," He pointed to his right and started walking with Kate coming up behind him.
They continued walking through the jungle, not a word passed between them. Too much had happened. An awkward sense filled the tension between them and Jack almost regretted this little expedition at all. He still wasn't ready to talk with her…she had hurt him too badly.
Kate and Sawyer both left like he yelled in the walkie-talkie, only to walk to a coast where they couldn't get off. He had done the surgery on Ben, hoping that after doing this he would get off the island.
Unfortunately, Ben had been a little sly with getting Jack off the island. Ben had sent a boat to Kate and Sawyer, where Jack met up with them. The boat took them to their island, the separate island. And that was all Jack got for doing the surgery. Truthfully he got off the island, but he didn't get off his island.
When they landed, Jack told Kate and Sawyer what he had seen…what he knew they did. Sawyer acted smug, claiming the connection that Kate and him always had is what brought them together. He had left his eyes on Kate, waiting for an excuse or an explanation…but there was none. She remained silent, with a look on her face as if she could burst into tears at any moment. Eventually he got the notion that Kate had made her choice and despite his anger, he didn't love her any less. Even now, as their silence grew on their walk, he couldn't help but have the slightest amount of hope that in the end, they would be together.
"Jack?" His ears perked at the sound of her voice, "We've been walking for hours. How much longer will it take?"
"Be patient, Kate. Not much longer." He looked ahead on the ground, searching for the mark where he would talk.
And then he saw it. He had planned where he would talk with her. There was no plane wreckage. He just needed to ask her a question. He unbuckled his backpack and sent it reeling to the ground.
"Jack?" Kate sounded confused, "Jack, are we here?"
He sniffed, ignoring her question. He was going to do this his way.
"Jack!" She yelled, slipping off her own backpack. She chased after him as he walked faster.
Then he stopped and kicked the doll in front of his feet. Rousseau's trap sprung into action just as Kate caught up with him. His breath quickened as a net covered them both and he felt her hands on his chest in the confusion. She noticed where her hands were and quickly brought them to her sides. His breathing slowed as he simply stared into her eyes.
She was looking back into his but soon looked away awkwardly. "So…want to explain why you did this?"
"I um," He paused, finding it hard to find words now that she was so close to him. "I need to ask you something," He raised his eyebrows at her like he usually did.
"Okay…shoot." She flashed her eyes back up at him and didn't look away from his this time.
He couldn't take it anymore. She was right up against him; her body pressed against his. Without thinking he leaned forward and kissed her. He immediately forgot what he wanted to ask. To his relief she kissed him back. He relaxed for what felt the first time in weeks, enjoying himself more as they opened their mouths to let the kiss deepen.
He took pleasure in noticing what she did taste like this time. As Sawyer has been gloating about, Kate did taste like strawberries. He closed his eyes tighter, hoping that he wouldn't wake up at all if this was a dream. He needed her that badly.
But then the kiss ended, Kate pulling away and he sucked in his breath form the loss of losing her. He kept his eyes closed for just a few seconds, before coming back to reality and opening his eyes to see her.
"And what was that for?" Kate asked timidly, looking away from him again.
He took a deep breath. "I need to know something and if you answer, I won't bother you about it ever again."
She nodded at him, waiting for his question. She couldn't deal with being so close to him. She needed to get away.
"Do you…do you," It pained him to have to ask the question. "Do you love Sawyer?"
"What?" Kate squinted her eyes in confusion.
"Do you love Sawyer?"
"Jack, I--"
"Do you love him?!" Jack was at the point of yelling now.
"Jack, please--"
"Do you love him?!" He repeated.
"Don't make me--"
"DO YOU LOVE HIM?"
"YES!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, filling out the large silence of the jungle.
He felt defeated, unable to live now that she had confessed where her true loyalties lied. But he had to keep his promise; he would leave her alone now. He pulled out his gun and pointed it at the rope to the right of them.
"Jack," She managed to breathe out, trying to explain her answer.
He shot and the net collapsed after only one try. He didn't want to be around her now that he knew she didn't care for him. But he couldn't help but feel a tinge of happiness when they landed on the ground together. She lay on top of him as they were still stuck in the net. Without another second she swiftly got herself out of the net and off of him, leaving him to regret any hopes he had about them at all. She was clear about her choice.
He pulled himself out of the net, only to find himself facing his gun. It had fallen out of his hand in the crash and Kate had picked it up. His mind was racing, trying to come up with reasons as to why he was now facing down the barrel of a gun. But even he couldn't think up why Kate was staring at him with tears in her eyes.
"Kate," He mumbled softly at her, wanting an answer from her.
"Jack please…I need to explain."
"That would be good." He nodded at her with his eyebrows slightly raised.
"I…I don't love Sawyer."
He squinted his eyes at her, "What? Kate, I--"
"I was lying," She blurted out. "I needed you to think…I need to make a choice." She sniffed as her eyes became filled with tears again. "I need it to be over. You, me, Sawyer…I need it over with."
"But um…why the gun for that decision?"
She pressed her lips together to suppress the urge to cry. "Before I do this, I want you to know," She sniffed. "That I'm sorry," Her voice finally broke under her emotional strain. "You weren't supposed to find out about Sawyer."
"Yeah, well I did." Unwillingly he made a frown after he had finished talking.
"Do you know why I did it? Why I was with him?" She pressed her lips together even harder. "Because he was supposed to die…and he wanted me."
"Oh so that's your policy Kate. You're going to sleep with any guy that wants you."
"NO," She yelled at him, angry he had insulted her. "I have feelings for Sawyer…small, insignificant feelings but I needed them dealt with so I could move on. I knew he loved me Jack. I knew he did. And I also knew that he was going to die." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I was going to give him what he wanted for his last night alive. Then…then he was supposed to die and no one would've known what I had given him at the end. Then…then you and me were…we were," Her voice had broken again, the gun wavering to the side as she felt like collapsing.
Despite Jack's hatred for what she had done, his heart went out to comfort her, to ease all of her pain. He had to forgive her; he just had to let go of his stubbornness and let himself fix this. He needed to be with her.
"We were going to what, Kate?" He looked at her sadly and yet hopefully. "Why can't we have that now? Why can't we be together?"
"Because I care for you, that's why!" She angrily said through her oncoming tears. "My instinct is to run Jack so I need someone who can run with me, someone who won't have me protected and safe…even if that is what I want. I've done it before…I can't be with you because." She clenched her teeth, unable to come out with what she wanted to say. "Because when I do leave…it'll be too painful." She finally let her tears go, dropping the gun and taking deep breaths as she stared at him, waiting for his reaction.
Jack couldn't believe his ears. He wanted everything she was saying to be true but he wasn't sure how much truth there was in it…he could never know with Kate. But as he looked up at her and gazed into her eyes, his heart told him what his head didn't know. She was being completely honest; she really did care about him like she was saying. Her lip quivered as the silence between them lengthened; it hadn't been this long since she had apologized for kissing him. He needed to end it…just like he had last time.
He inched closer to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. Her head lifted slightly to see him, her eyes puffy and cheeks red from her crying. The tears in the corner of her eyes slowly fell down her face as she placed her hands on Jack's arms for support. Now was the time to talk.
He leaned in towards her face ever so slightly. "Then don't leave." It only took her to blink at him once to make him lean in further and kiss her lightly. Their first kiss had been the same, Jack comforting Kate as she cried…but he hoped this one wouldn't end the same way.
She wrapped her arms around him as she kissed him back. He relaxed; his first fear over with. He put his hands on her face, gently pulling her mouth deeper into his. The more they kissed, the more Jack couldn't hide it back any longer…he finally smiled with the kiss.
Kate stopped, sensing something was going on. She could feel something was different with Jack. She opened her eyes and knew what it was immediately. He was smiling. She hadn't seen his smile in so long, felt it in so long. She reached up, delicately placing her fingers on his lips, only to make his smile grow wider. A smile escaped her own lips as well as a chuckle. She couldn't remember the last time both of them were smiling at each other.
She pulled him back, kissing him again. She needed him, all of him. And he needed her too; he's wanted it for so long. Her fingers went to work, unbuttoning his shirt with ease. He inhaled deeply through his nose while her hands slipped his shirt off. She even smelled like strawberries. If he was going to brag in front of Sawyer later, he needed to remember every detail.
He was wasting time thinking about Sawyer. Kate was within his grasp and he was thinking of the son of a bitch who slept with her first. A new passion arising in him, he pulled Kate's clothes off without a single thought. Feeling his surge of energy, she kept up with him, whipping off his pants. He brought her closer, kissing her more hungrily as they fell back onto the ground together.
He caressed her face gently; the tips of his fingers stroking her hair. He smiled as they whispered to each other the secrets they wouldn't tell before. He told her of Sarah and of his dad; she told him about Tom and Kevin. He whispered how he got his tattoos, something he used to refuse to talk about. And without hesitating, she replied with what she had done to become a criminal, what made her run. She felt relieved after letting it all out. She didn't have to hide it from him anymore. It was done with.
Kate got up, her back away from him, reaching for her shirt. They had been long enough together. People would wonder what they had been doing out here and Kate wasn't ready to tell them quite yet…she'd let Jack deal with them.
"We're even Kate."
"What?" She turned her head back to see him lying on his side, looking at her.
"Me and Sawyer. We're even, one for one with you." She couldn't help but feel anger while he talked as if she was some object passed around. "I don't want the score to be even. Could you help me with that?"
Her anger disappeared at the sight of him simply smirking at his advantage to Sawyer. Her frown quickly went into a smile and he started laughing when she lunged at him.
He slowly put on her backpack for her, being gentle because of the scrapes and bruises she had from the jungle floor. Eventually he found the strength to take his hands off of her. He didn't want to leave. If they left, he was afraid everything would change. As if this spot was the only place they could be together. He'd hate himself for falling for her if she just went back to Sawyer when they reached the beach.
She glanced over at him, a grin radiating on her face. He immediately calmed down, remembering she only gave that grin when she was happy…truly happy. He chuckled back at her, his face starting to get used to forming a smile. Something he hadn't done before this very often.
"Can you love a fugitive?" Her grin had faded as she stood in front of him, asking him the question she desperately wanted to know the answer to.
"Can you love a spinal surgeon?" He raised his eyebrows at her.
She blinked a few times before putting her hands on his face and pulling him in for a gentle, loving kiss…a kiss gentler than she had ever given him. When she pulled away, he inched forward slightly; disappointed it had ended so quickly.
"I'll take that as a yes." He raised his eyebrows again and she giggled.
She started walking away but he called out to her, "Kate." She turned around to face him. He took a deep breath. "I love you."
She stood frozen. Those three words…those three words that she could never face. She hadn't expected him to say that of all things. How could she say it back?
"Kate." He walked closer to her. "Say it." She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. He knew she felt the same way, why did she have to say those words?
"Say it." He whispered at her when he was even closer.
She gulped, opening her eyes and locking them onto his. She had to say it…she needed to realize she could say it. Jack was perfect; it was time to tell him. "I love you."
He slowly smiled and she smiled back at him. She had said it…and he was happy about it. It gave her such a rush that she nearly said it again. It had seriously made him so happy.
"So what are we going to tell Sawyer?" She raised an eyebrow at him, smirking and challenging him to give a suitable answer.
He shrugged. "We'll tell him we got caught in a net Kate. He can believe whatever he wants as to what that means." With a simple smile, he walked past her and began the long trek back to the beach. He couldn't wait to see Sawyer's face now.