Let's get one thing straight before we start, this is not a confession to my mistakes but a remembrance of all of my happiness. I regret none of these events only that they did not last. I am not a lesbian, I fancy guys imagine them lying with me before I sleep. I am not a shamed at what happened between us. I loved you like a sister, but that isn't the right word, you were my best friend, my confidant, my lover. To make you understand I'll recount all of our misadventures and they're effect on me. This is the first time we met, the first time we loved together.
You sat on the other side of the room, dressed in an outrageously short dress that barely concealed the lace that hid your privatest of places. I didn't understand my feelings then, I only knew that I wanted to see what that lace concealed. I wanted to touch you in the places I touched myself in the middle of the night. The places I always imagined a future boyfriend touching and tasting. I wanted you to be the pioneer of my innocence. I couldn't concentrate, I had to run out of the room and into the bathroom so I could unleash all the pent up emotion. I bit back a scream as I came onto my fingers, imagining they were yours. You came to me not long after and whispered in my ear.
'I know your secrets' you said seductively. You took my hand and led me to the bathroom, the same cubicle in which I had come so recently. You kissed me then, crushed your mouth against mine as I moaned in pleasure. I reached up to your shirt wanting to reach beneath it but you wouldn't allow me entrance. I leant away confused and you whispered quietly to me. You said we should slow down, we hardly knew each other. I knew you were right but I was frustrated. I kissed you again putting all my emotions into it. Your lips were soft and ready, only they allowed me part of what I wanted from you.
And thus began our illicit affair, I would return to you night after night, seeking comfort in your kisses and release from your fingers. You taught me about myself and I relished in it. The first time we lay together is another story I want to recount, I had been meeting with your for weeks and always running to the bathroom for release halfway through. I carried a toothbrush with me so I could feel something other than myself inside of me. I wished and prayed that I could replace it with your fingers soon. This was the first night that wish was granted.
We were at your house, I was in the bathroom as usual when it all became too much but I had forgotten to lock the door, you found me lying spread on the floor, my jeans in a pile to one side and my toothbrush handle fully inserted. You came up to me and pulled me to my feet; you pulled the toothbrush out of me and flung it to one side. You stripped me and then yourself and jammed our bodies together, you kissed me hard. Placing your hands on my bum you ran them up and down sending shivers through my body. Tentatively I did the same to you; for once you didn't stop me. I slid my hands between us and cupped your breasts, squeezing and pulling, you pushed me away. You took control, touching me and teaching me how to touch you. You cupped my breasts, squeezing them and tugging them. Twisting my nipples and making the warmth between my legs grow. You felt it to and slid you leg between mine offering me a brief release. I almost screamed as you inserted that first finger into me, it felt glorious warm, hard and so unlike anything else I had tried. I knew nothing could compare to this and then you topped it. You knelt before and licked my clit, I groaned, you licked again and again and I kept groaning. I murmured your name as I came into your mouth. You stood and kissed me and I could taste myself on your tongue.
I won't recount any more for now, this is the first page and will remain a page of firsts. Our first kiss, the first time we made love and my first love affair.