A/N:
This story presented itself to me in a moment of revision-related madness, and was inspired by the following Harry Potter quote:
He amused himself for a moment, picturing Dumbledore, with his long silver beard, full-length wizard's robes, and pointed hat, stretched out on a beach somewhere, rubbing suntan lotion onto his long crooked nose.
Harry had received two letters from Sirius since he had been back at Privet Drive. Both had been delivered, not by owls (as was usual with wizards), but by large, brightly coloured tropical birds. Hedwig had not approved of these flashy intruders; she had been most reluctant to allow them to drink from her water tray before flying off again. Harry, on the other hand, had liked them; they put him in mind of palm trees and white sand, and he hoped that, wherever Sirius was (Sirius never said, in case the letters were intercepted), he was enjoying himself.
Goblet of Fire Chapter 2
The Caribbean Adventures of a Man on the Run
Sirius' legs gave way as he and Remus crashed down to earth on the Caribbean island of Meanw Isle, clutching the slightly unravelled straw hat that had served as their international portkey. Once the two of them had picked themselves up and noticed their surroundings, there was a brief scuffle as they fought over the wide brimmed sunhat.
Sirius emerged victorious, grinning widely with the tattered hat perched jauntily on his head. Seeing Remus glaring at him, he relented and picked a small leaf off the floor, gleefully using his brand new wand to transfigure it into a ridiculous bright red sunhat with huge pink flowers around the brim which clashed horribly.
Remus glared at Sirius as he plonked it unceremoniously on his head and prodded it with his own wand, turning the hat to a considerably less ostentatious brown colour, but keeping the flowers. After all, they were on holiday.
Not happy with this, Sirius pointed his wand at the hat again and it sprouted dancing palm trees on the top. In retaliation, Remus charmed Sirius' straw hat to sing 'It's a Small World After All' over and over again in a loud squeaky voice.
The two of them wandered haphazardly down the street, laughing as each of their hats grew gradually more ridiculous, their suitcases hovering along behind them.
Thank goodness Dumbledore had decided to send them to an all-magical resort.
oOoOoOo
Sirius and Remus gaped as they arrived at their hotel- Dumbledore certainly hadn't been stingy on the price, they decided. Sirius' hat, which had now been transformed into a large purple flamingo that squawked swearwords at random intervals fell backwards off his head as he leapt forwards and dived into the crystal blue sea, only to discover that it was barely a meter deep. Remus laughed so hard that his own hat- An old fashioned princess hat covered with rioting cowboys and Indians- tipped off and joined Sirius in the water.
Their accommodation was a spacious palm-roofed hut which stood on stilts raising it above the level of the water which surrounded it on three sides. It was accessed by means of a wide jetty which pushed out into the sea, connecting to several other huts before ending in a diving platform further out where the water was deeper. Sirius, of course, made sure to push Remus off the jetty on the way out to their room.
Their evening was spent at a bar located in a bubble of air perched out on the reef that surrounded the island. Sirius quickly managed to net a pair of young Australian witches and he and Remus spent a pleasurable evening with the two women before they retired back to their room. The pair of witches elected to accompany them, and Remus thanked Merlin for the silencing charms around their respective bedrooms as it meant he was not distracted from 'the task in hand' by Sirius' own fun in the next room.
The next week passed by in a haze of exciting daytime activities and pleasant evenings. Sirius and Remus joined a tour to visit a local tribe of mermaids where Remus had to physically restrain Sirius from jumping overboard to join the beautiful creatures. They went swimming on the reef, and spent hours chasing the fish. Except on one occasion when a group of bright blue chimerafish elected to chase them instead, giving them both a bizarre green rash which took several days to fade. After this, they were reluctant to visit the reef again for a few days, content to simply watch the fish from the relative safety of the underwater bar.
They made several trips into town to try find something to relieve their symptoms, and Sirius took the opportunity to send Harry several letters to reassure him that he was still safe. Upon arriving at the post office, they were surprised to find that instead of the various owl varieties they were used to, the post office was filled with a wide variety of colourful Caribbean birds. Sirius and Remus had a wonderful time searching out the most exotic birds they could find to use to deliver their letters, the highlight being the giant toucan with multi-coloured feathers and a huge beak as long as Remus' arm which changed colour depending on the birds mood.
It was halfway through the second week of their holiday as they were about to join a boat ride to go sea serpent watching that they received the biggest shock of the holiday since they had spotted Sirius' purple flamingo hat delivering letter in the post office. They were stood on the beach waiting for their boat to arrive when Remus began tugging incessantly on the sleeve of Sirius' flowery red and gold shirt.
Over on a sun lounger under a palm umbrella was a startlingly familiar old man. He was wearing baggy purple swimming trunks with twinkling stars on, his long silver beard draped over one shoulder so as not to cover his practically translucent chest, reading a heavy book and absent-mindedly rubbing sun cream into the tip of his long nose.
Sirius' and Remus' mouths fell open as Professor Albus Brian Wulfric Percival Dumbledore glanced over to them and gave them a merry wave, his eyes twinkling almost as much as his swimming trunks.
A/N:
Review for a free flamingo hat*
*Flamingo hats imaginary, offer valid only while stocks last.