Timmy walked home from baseball practice with his arm wrapped around the girl of his dreams. He was praying and hoping for that split second when he could muster up the courage to reveal to her his deepest, darkest secret. Unfortunately, for both Timmy and the girl of his dreams, that moment would never come, just as many more moments would never come. For you see, if was on this fateful day that Timmy became aware of the fact that not only was he incapable of communicating with the opposite sex, but he was incapable of communication itself. Timmy had developed a rare form of allergen called needlohydra that not only paralyzed his vocal chords but gave him severe indigestion as well. He clutched at his throat to indicate that he was in trouble. Sandy, a certified proctologist, asked him to lie down and be still.
"Can you hear me?", she asked.
Timmy tried to respond but the synapses in his brain instead forced him to slap Sandy as hard as he could in the face. Sandy, who was no stranger to abuse, simply licked her lips and continued going through the revival process.
"I'm gonna poke you with something to test your pain reaction."
She pulled a bobby pin out of her hair and rammed it in between the nail and cuticle of his right index finger. He wanted to scream bloody murder but the best he could do was twitch his eyebrows in such a way that let her know he meant business. Sandy's face was really starting to smart from that wallop she received earlier, so she bit down on her lip to keep from crying.
Timmy was starting to convulse violently so Sandy took off one of her socks and rammed it into his mouth. This seemed to do the trick because he stopped shaking altogether. He looked up at the clouds with an air of total satisfaction. This wasn't the way he had envisioned getting one of Sandy's garments in his mouth, but it was still worth it.
When Timmy came to he was in a dark room surrounded by flies. They kept buzzing at him in all directions and dive bombing his ear canals. He had no way of determining where he was because a black bandana had been tied over his eyes. He tried to lift his hands to swat the flies away but they'd been tied down to the bed by what felt like rope. He tried to scream but the effects of the needlo were still going strong. The only solace he got was from realizing that Sandy's sock was still lodged firmly in his mouth. He savored the faint scent of stale feet that wafted in and around his face.
He heard the door open and instinctively turned towards it. The footsteps that approached the bed were deep and heavy.
"Do you know why you're here?", the voice asked.
He shook his head no.
"You've been diagnosed with a rare allergen. We don't know much about it yet but we have to keep a close eye on you until your symptoms improve."
Timmy pulled against his restraints and felt a soft, familiar hand caress his forehead.
"Try not to fight it, Timmy.", she said.
She pulled the wet sock out of his mouth and slung it against the adjoining wall. She watched with contentment as it slowly slithered to the ground.