The day was grey and it for that reason alone it was perfect, as it completely matched his mood. He had been awake for some time now, long before the sun had started to rise over the trees and buildings in the distance. Ben had watched it rising with a sinking feeling that had kept growing until the morning light was shining warmly through his bedroom window.
He turned away angrily and started to dress. There was no more time to sit and contemplate his fate. He chose the plainest of his clothes to wear for his trip, all of them nondescript grey and brown that kind of blended together. He had already packed the night before and the small rucksack lay at the entrance to his room. It was actually quite small, but there was not much that he needed to take. Just a few clothes, no books, or any other kinds of trinkets that might bring back some kind of nostalgia or sentimentality.
With an angry huff he finished dressing and picked up his bag, he didn't look back at his room, it was a mess but he could not bring himself to care. In the house it was quiet and serene. He knew immediately that no one was home expect for himself. His mother was probably seeing to the transport even as he slept, and his father could be anywhere. A pang of guilt hit him but he brushed it aside as he picked up a piece of fruit from the kitchen table, eating it without tasting it. His father didn't even have an idea that his only son was about to be shipped off to another planet, to be taught in the ways of the force. It was a desperate attempt on his mother's part to stop the spread of what she thought was a bad influence on him. His sudden fascination with both his late grandfather and with the politician Snoke had driven his mother almost mad with worry.
It was her own political and military dealings with Snoke that had exposed Ben to him, and in the older man Ben had found a confidante. In some ways he was closer to him then he had ever been to his own parents. Between his mother being away and his father off doing who even knew what, Ben had started spending much of his time alone. He was rarely around children his own age, and the ones he was around avoided him for his aloofness or fear of his grandfather's crimes. It left him alone with his thoughts.
He finished his fruit and adjusted his pack, prepared to start his walk to the transport hub, when he heard a steady knock at the door. His stomach dropped, there was only one person that it could actually be. He could feel the presence on the other side of the door. It was something he was getting good at actually, sensing when someone was near. He could even sense the moods of his mother and all her subordinates before he ever entered a room. It was exciting for him, but intimidating all at once. It was like discovering a new and hidden world.
The knocking persisted at the door and Ben couldn't ignore it, nor would there be any chance of the person leaving, so he marched over and opened the door. On the other side was Poe, his hand poised to knock again but he stopped and smiled when he saw Ben. "Hey! Sorry I kept knocking, I thought that maybe you were still asleep." He stepped backward to let Ben out on the front step. Ben didn't acknowledge the greeting but stepped outside and closed the door behind him. "I see that my mother sent you to get me?" He stated in what he hoped was an emotionless voice. Poe nodded and turned so the other boy could follow him. It irritated him for some reason. Poe was actually only two years older than Ben, but there personalities were so different. Even their talents. When he was even just one year younger he had envied Poe so much that it caused an ache inside him, one that Snoke had sensed and only encouraged, until it blossomed into a full blown hatred. Even at such a young age he was an accomplished pilot, both his mother and father praised him, while completely forgetting their own son in the background. Perhaps if Ben was as good a pilot as Poe..but no, he would think like that. His father wouldn't have been there for him even if he was the best pilot in the galaxy. Nothing that Ben did ever seemed to keep his father's attention for long.
He cleared his throat to get Poe's attention. "I don't even know why she sent you, I know my way to the ships. It's not like I will get lost." He sounded like a whiny child and he mentally berated himself for it, it was better to keep talking to a minimum with Poe. Or preferably none at all.
Poe shrugged without turning around. "I guess she just wanted a friend to come and get you, since we might not see each other for a long time." Poe said in a cheerful voice. It was enough to make Ben almost laugh, in what far off universe would Poe and he ever be friends? His mother really was blind if she thought he cared about Poe in any way.
For a few minutes they walked in silence which made Ben hope that Poe would not say anything else for the entire trip but he was wrong. Poe fell in beside him and looked at Ben with a curious expression. "So are you really going to train with your uncle Luke to become a jedi?" He asked in a hushed and excited tone.
Ben's head snapped up and he gave Poe a penetrating stare. He didn't know that his mother was telling everyone about this. Why tell everyone else and not her own husband? To him his own mother's motives were unfathomable. "Yes," he said slowly, not really wanting to start any kind of conversation. "I am being sent to Skywalker to train in the ways of the jedi." He said in affirmation.
Poe started to grin, "Why do you call him Skywalker instead of Uncle? That's so strange, if he was my uncle they would never get me away from his side." He added with an even wider grin.
Well then you can be his nephew then, you can go and become a jedi and see how much fun you have. Ben though with a grimace. He didn't dare say it out loud. Being too vocal was the whole reason he was being sent away. To make him better, to make him see the light so to speak. But deep down Ben knew that he was one meant for something far greater.
After that brief conversation they arrived at the transport hub, and Ben and Poe were surrounded by dozens if not hundreds of people going about their daily duties. It was loud and hot, and people scurried every which way to refuel or load supplies. There was shouting as things were dropped and orders were shouted. It was a commotion that he was very familiar with, and for the first time he felt a wave of unease. I don't want to go he thought to himself. But he had no choice. His destiny was in the hands of others. But soon it would be his own to dictate and command. He longed for that day.
His mother, Leia, was very easy to spot. She was smaller than him, even now he towered over her, but she commanded a far bigger presence. She was both a princess and a general. Part of him hoped that one day he could lead with as much ease as his mother, he supposed she got it from her father; or even her own mother who was also a princess but very rarely mentioned. His lineage was interesting to say the least.
Ben stopped and collected himself and put on what he hoped was an air of indifference, which was shattered somewhat when Poe have him a large clap on the back. It broke his concentration and he glared at the older boy. Poe laughed when he saw his expression.
"Stop looking so serious all the time, it's just your mother and she won't see you again for a long time. So be nicer." Poe clapped him on the back again for emphasis and stepped aside.
Ben almost said something scathing to Poe but was interrupted again when his mother gave him a hug. The top of her head was only to his chin at 15 years old, being this much taller than her was awkward. He hugged her back out of habit and stayed that way till she finally pulled away.
"Look at this boy, almost a man. It's hard to believe that you are my son." Leia clasped his cheeks in between her hands and looked at him gently. At that moment she looked so sad and sincere he almost forgot himself and pulled her into another hug.
"I am just getting taller that's all," he said softly and looked down. The attention was making him break his composure. It was making him want to stay, and making him weak. He could not abide by his own weakness. Compassion to his was a weakness.
Leia still had her hands on his face and brought his face closer to hers, he knew she was going to kiss his forehead. He bent down to let her, he didn't know why he did. She planted a kiss on his forehead and then released his face. He stepped backwards looking down. He was embarrassed.
His mother placed her hand over his heart, "Are you nervous about going to train with your uncle?" she asked quietly so no one else could hear.
"Of course not," he said with more force than he intended. "It's a great honor to train with a Skywalker." He sifted his pack on his back uncomfortably as he spoke, he wanted to take it off but there was no point. He would just have to be uncomfortable.
She gave him a look like she didn't believe him. "I'm sending you there because I believe that is what's for the best. Especially after what you have been showing interest in." She said with emphasis.
Ben gave a smirk and shot back at her, "If what you are doing is what's best for me and for you, why didn't you tell dad? He wouldn't approve of this and you know it." Leia looked hurt and averted her eyes as he spoke. He grinned inwardly knowing that he had hit a nerve.
"You're right, your father wouldn't approve of this at all. He'd never even really believed in this kind of thing. And we both agreed before you were born that we wouldn't train you in the ways of the force. We were too afraid of..," she trailed off as she looked him in the face. You becoming like your grandfather.
She did not speak it but he heard it in his own mind. And she was right of course, there was too much of his grandfather in him. He was a persistent ghost that haunted him ever since he was born.
"If doesn't matter if you told him anyway," he said even though it actually did matter. But he was suddenly tired and didn't want to talk to her anymore. It was better to get this over with.
Leia sighed and took his arm. He didn't resist and together they walked to the small transport ship that was ready and waiting for him. Other supplies and people were going with him, each with their won own reason and purpose when they reached their destination. And his was to be pawned off on his uncle in an attempt to stave off the darkness that his own parents saw in him.
Once more Ben looked at his mother. He felt a wave of emotions run over him. He didn't even know what they were as he looked at his mother. She in turn looked at him sadly before giving him one last hug goodbye.
"There is good in you Ben, I know you have a good heart, remember you are always my son." She said softly as she let him go and turned away. Leia stepped off the transport ship and gave him a small wave, even Poe waved goodbye.
Ben gave a small halfhearted wave in return. He felt like he should say something, but he had no idea what, so he said nothing and disappeared into the ship to find a pace to sit for the journey.