Chapter 1
Can love truly overcome all barriers? Barriers of the heart? Head? Soul?
Oh how that one word can cause such hatred. Seeing the hatred form on his face when he hears that word. That God awful word, fear and hate emit from his still lovely voice.
My body flushes with warmth at the wonderful memories, of what words that beautiful voice had spoken to me. My face flushes, heat rushing to it as if I was hanging upside down on the jungle gym bars. Just like she used to do. her memories replace mine in my thoughts, I am a monster. Even the man who loves me will hate me when I tell him what I truly am. He will hate me for what I have done, not only to him but to the entire human race.
I have taken a life. A human life, not only to sustain myself on this planet. But I help seek out the suspicious. The suspicious are dangerous to our cause. They could guess the truth for once and cause a riot. I shuddered thinking of the force that we would have to use to calm them down. I would have to physically hurt someone. Horrid memories flood my thoughts. The memory of the first human that I found that knew what we were. The first human I had to capture. I had the easy job. At least I didn't have to help dispose of the knowing humans. But just pondering that some humans that I capture are lead to thier death revolts me.
I deserve to die. But I cannot force myself to take my own. I cannot force myself to tear myself away from that beautiful man. He told me he loves me. But he doesn't know the real me. I have to tell him, even if he does hate when I tell him at least he'll know the truth. I can see now how the hatred in his deep blue eyes will replace the affection. I can hear how the warmth in the undercurrents of his voice will be permantly substitued with obvious fear and loathing. I shall not blame him for his obvious reaction to the truth of what I am. I can't lie to him any longer, I can tell him no longer that I don't think that his mother is acting strangely. That perhaps she is just dealing with her grief in her own way.
Lies that sound like the truth on my coniving tongue. Unlike most others of my kind I picked up the art of lieing quite well.
He needs to know the truth. He needs to know what I am. Although Angela- I snort internally at the fact that her human name is nothing like her true name that roughly translates to Billowing Ice Crystals- has told me that it is too dangerous to tell humans what we are. What I am. But by the time his mind compreheneds the fact of what I truly am I will be dead. I will have tossed myself from the very cliffs where we met. Dramatic and final. I shall go out with a bang, a dramatic ending to a very long life. My body is terrified, but my mind is resolutly set on my final ending. The sharp rocks onto which I will fall will cause pain.. so much pain. My body gives an involuntary shudder.
Love is fickle, it creeps in when you least expect it and settles in your heart. Clouding your judgement and common sense. I love him but his reaction to what I am will cause him to hate me. I cannot stand the thought my love hating me. Tears soak my shirt as I realize that I must tell him the truth. That he has fallen in love with a monster.
Love cannot overcome such a large contreversial barrier. The barrier of me being a soul. Not just a soul, but a seeker.