Moriarty Returns – Soulless
WARNING! – This story is full of fantabulousless, if you can't handle it then don't read.
As some already know, this summer my friends and I (thefriendlyguy63 and blackrabbitkani) set a writing challenge for over the summer. The story can be in any fandom but must include this criteria:
A fish with a golden tooth
A character must say "Green eggs and ham"
A Georgian wig complete with insects
I apologise for the late upload of this story and for not updating any of my other stories but when away from Wi-Fi all summer (I don't know how I survived) it is impossible to upload. However, I managed to write this and have several more ideas for continuing my other stories, I hope to update some soon.
This story is complete crack fiction (you could probably guess from the criteria) and I have chosen to do a crossover of Sherlock and Supernatural. This is set after the latest Sherlock and part way through season 6 of Supernatural (just after Dean learns the truth about Sam (episode 6.))
(Disclaimer – I don't own any Sherlock or Supernatural characters; neither do I own Dr Seuss' book 'Green eggs and ham.)
"And today on bzzzzz…" John threw the remote at the dying television causing Mrs Hudson to jump. "Careful dear, that's not going to do your blood pressure any favours," She eased herself out of the chair and started tottering towards the kitchen. Suddenly, a large earthquake rattled the room and a blinding light penetrated the deepest corners of the room causing Sherlock to emerge from his drug induced thoughts.
"I am Sam, Sam I Am." a voice stated in a drone from within the depths of the television. All eyes found themselves drawn to the screen as an image slowly flickered to life. The picture cleared to reveal a long mane of hair surrounding a face holding a very serious expression. A face that appeared to have emerged from the very depths of hell, a face filled with darkness and a lack of emotions. The screen flickered before being filled with an animation that had been haunting London for weeks. An animation on repeat with a simple four word question. "Did you miss me?"
∞∞∞Ω∞∞∞
A shell of depression sat hunched on the street corner clutching a tin as if his life depended on it. Which it did. In that self-same tin was a collection of dust, a couple of very old baked beans and… 5 coins. Four regular pounds and something else. A beautiful golden sovereign decorated with angels and magic; a gold sovereign gifted unto him by a stall holder with fabulous eyebrows.
∞∞∞Ω∞∞∞
Sherlock had been staring into space like a statue for the last ten minutes and John was starting to get worried. "Stop fretting love. He's always been a bit of a dreamer, just look at the mess he's made of my apartment!" Mrs Hudson started to move the clutter, occasionally complaining about her hip as she ambled around the room. She reached out for the skull on the mantelpiece whilst still exclaiming over carelessness and fondness for junk not expecting Sherlock's eyes to snap open as he span round to face Billy's attacker. "Can you please all stop jabbering like the idiots you are and let me get on with some genius thought processes," He exclaimed. "Mrs Hudson, some tea would be good and John, stop standing so close, it's distracting when I can see you out of the corner of my eye."
"How many times Sherlock, I'm not your housekeeper." Mrs Hudson tutted.
"Then why are you using up my room? John, go on the internet and see who you can find that has close proximity with moose's and recently took a long vacation from life. Oh and see if we still have my cap, I wish to wear it to my showdown with Moriarty."
∞∞∞Ω∞∞∞
John and Sherlock strolled down the streets of London in the direction of the market when Sherlock sighed and turned to John. "Alright ask your question."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"The face John. You're wearing that face which means I have no clue what we're doing but I need to find out. You know, it's very irritating but undeniably cute that you have such simple thought processes." Sherlock shot out in exasperation. "I mean umm… do you like green eggs and ham?"
John didn't respond and just stood stiffly due to the first comment whilst Sherlock answered all the questions. "…and we're going to the market because when the room was disrupted you were about to watch what was going on in the market at that moment and the waves came from that area of London which …"
"I don't care Sherlock, just get on with it." John turned around to find Sherlock grabbing a nearby stallholder with fantabulous hair and a smexy moustache which hid a mischievous smirk.
"Sherlock, you can't just grab people and … okay I don't have a clue why you grabbed him but still …"
John found himself staring into the eyes of Sherlock Holmes and without realising it he started to move closer, edging for touchdown.
"Hel-lo-o."
John and Sherlock flew apart only to be faced with a knowing look from the stallholder as he munched on a chocolate bar.
"Are you going to look at what I have or just shake me to death?"
Sherlock swiftly apologised before gazing at a couple of the objects, a fish with a gold tooth looking to have been made in the 1960's and a book by Dr Seuss, a book with two very familiar lines in. "I am Sam." Sherlock analysed the shopkeeper but all he could read was that this was a younger brother, had a large family and radiated pure power and mischief.
"Who are you?"
The stallholder whipped off his moustache to reveal the one, the only … Douchy! I mean … Gabriel!
John fainted from the pure awesomeness of his presence whilst Sherlock stared as the archangel's form then started to slip away to reveal a wig full of insects including one they call Moriarty.
Sorry about the rubbish ending but I ran out of time and have decided to make this story longer than a one shot anyway so please tell me what you think and sorry for the degradation into madness but I knew that time was running away with me and when I checked it back over I thought that that seemed like a good place to stop so I had to jiggle things round to meet the criteria. Hope you enjoyed it.