Truth
By Raine Ishida
"Souji-kun... Can I talk to you for a moment please?" Yukiko's eyes were soft, but still guarded. As usual. Souji was unsure, but nodded in agreement before glancing over at Yosuke who raised an eyebrow.
"Alone, if you don't mind."
Souji nodded and let her lead him into the hallway outside the library where they'd all been studying together. Chie had fallen asleep on her textbooks. It was just the four of them today. Rise was at work, and Kanji and Naoto had decided to 'man up' as it were, and go for a walk together.
Souji stopped in the hallway just past the library and leaned against the wall. He set his lips to a faint smile and waited for Yukiko to speak.
"Well, Souji-kun..." she started, wringing her hands nervously.
"Just tell me." Yukiko's eyebrows were knitted in concern and she took a deep breath.
"I...well, I've been wondering. You've been acting really strange lately, and I'd...well, I'm just wondering what's wrong. And if you'd like to talk about it."
"I've been acting strange?"
"Yes. I'm not the only one to notice it. The others have too. You're acting strange...in that you're not acting any way at all. Yosuke's...acting really strange. Stranger than usual, and you're not...concerned at all. So that sent up a few warning bells for me, and I knew I needed to ask you about it."
Souji smiled, but the pit of his stomach was doing flips. How much did she know...? What was she saying?
"Look, I'm not saying anything's going on in your life, I'm just worried about you." She placed her hand on his forearm. "I know...you told me we're just friends, but I still care about you deeply."
Souji couldn't help the smile as he nodded. "I know. Thanks for your concern, Yukiko..."
"So...what is it?"
"There's nothing happening," Souji lied. "Everything's fine."
"Souji-kun. I know you're lying to me. Please don't insult me by lying to me."
"...Yukiko," he replied, his tone changing. It was no longer soft, but threatening.
"What? You're my friend. I'm worried. Tell me what's going on in your life! I'd like to know!"
"You wouldn't understand," Souji snapped, not thinking before it left his tongue. Then he felt the recoil of it snap his head back, and saw it as it hit Yukiko full-on.
Tears welled in her eyes as she stood, her fists clenched. "I wouldn't understand? Souji-kun, what are you saying? Are you saying that everything that happened in the TV world didn't mean anything? Our battle was for nothing? You saw our deepest, darkest shadow selves and stood by us while our dark sides tried to kill us. You've seen us at our worst, and stuck through to the end. We've all helped each other defeat the evil in that world, together. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Together. And you're telling me I wouldn't understand?" Yukiko's eyes leaked a tear from each side, which she brushed at angrily with her palms as she stormed back to the library.
"I thought we were closer than that," she managed to whisper, her voice full of hurt, as she opened the door to the library.
"Yukiko, wait..."
She stopped and looked back up at him for a moment, her cheeks flushed, eyes vulnerable. "No... You've really hurt me, Souji-kun. I...don't think any amount of explaining will cover this right now."
Souji stayed standing in the hall, stunned. He still hadn't moved when moments later, Yukiko brushed past him with her books and book bag in hand.
Yosuke stepped out into the hall warily, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible. He approached Souji with a frown. "...Man, what just happened?"
Souji covered his face with his palm and with his other hand, clenched in a fist, he hit the wall. "I think... I just lost my best friend."
Yosuke opened his mouth to protest, but realized Souji had been talking about Yukiko.
"She...she left? What did...Man, what did you say to her?" A light dawned in Yosuke's eyes and he looked at Souji, eyes wild, startled. "What did you say?!"
"I didn't...tell her anything. That's why she's angry."
"What...does she know?"
Souji looked up with angry eyes. "I don't know, Yosuke. I haven't said anything. But she's clever. She's always been...the most intuitive of all of us."
"Yeah, Chie's kind of a cement block when it comes to being observant..." Yosuke agreed.
Chie protested loudly from the doorway. "Hey! I resent that!" She walked over to them and frowned, her hands on her hips. "Where's Yukiko?"
Souji sighed. "I...don't know where she went, but...I have to fix it."
Yosuke squeezed Souji's arm just above his elbow. "Look man... She's a girl. When girls get mad, you need to give them time to chill out. So...think about it all before you go talking to her, okay?"
Souji sighed and nodded. "I'll...see you guys later." His shoulders slumped more than usual, Souji walked down the hall and out of the sight of his friends.
"...Yosuke, what just happened?" Chie whispered. Yosuke shook his head.
"I'm...not sure. But I know that it's not good."
Souji lay on his futon, thinking until his brain hurt. He had to tell Yukiko. She was right. She'd been at her worst, and he'd seen it. He'd rescued her from it. What right had he to tell her she wouldn't understand?
...But he knew how she felt about him, so how would that make it any easier to tell her that he'd slept with another member of their group...who, by unforeseen circumstances, happened to also be a male?
"What...can I tell her?" he wondered out loud. He needed to tell her. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and called Yosuke.
"Yo!" Yosuke answered.
"I'm going to tell her."
"...Seriously?"
"I have to."
"But...aww, come on, do you have to?" Yosuke protested.
"We owe her."
"For what, Souji? We don't owe her anything...Well, if we do, it's definitely not information like this."
"She's our friend, Yosuke. She trusts us. We need to tell her...and everyone else."
"What!? No way, man! Not happening!" Yosuke protested. His cries were so loud that Souji had to hold the phone away from his ear and he could still hear Yosuke's loud protests.
"I mean it. She deserves to know the truth."
"Did you ever think about what this might do to Rise?" Yosuke asked, with a tone that suggested he had an eyebrow raised.
"...To be honest, I'm not really thinking about what it might do to anyone. I'm more thinking about telling Yukiko the truth because she's right."
"We still don't know anything about you, Souji. Your shadow self...never happened. I guess you're right. Telling her...would be a step closer to getting to know you better."
Souji chuckled under his breath. "I...think you know me best."
Yosuke hesitated. "Y-yeah... That's true."
"You need to be there when I tell her."
"What!?"
"Nearby, at least. In case I can't go through with it."
"You're not a baby, Souji. You're our leader."
"You don't need me as a leader anymore, Yosuke. You're...I need you to lean on. Please, just come with me."
Yosuke was quiet for a long time before sighing loudly. "Fine. Where will she be?"
"At the temple. I'll swing by your house on my way there."
"I hope you know what you're doing, man," Yosuke said.
Souji got off of the futon and pulled on his coat. "So do I, Yosuke... So do I."
...
The walk to the Temple felt like a march straight to hell. Souji felt as if he had cement in his shoes.
Yosuke dropped back and stayed behind at the stairs of the temple, staying at the bottom of the stairs as moral support. When Souji reached the top of the stairs, he saw Yukiko sitting at the altar, her eyes downcast, dark hair falling around her face as she slouched. Slouched...? That wasn't like her.
"Yukiko..." Souji announced himself. She looked up, startled, and then her face turned angry, hurt.
"Go away, Souji-kun. I don't want to talk to you."
"Please," he begged. "Can I sit down? I need to try to explain this to you."
"You don't need my permission to sit down," she whispered, averting her gaze so she wouldn't have to look at him. Her eyes were red, probably from crying. Souji felt his heart break as he realized just too late how beautiful she really was.
"Yukiko," he started gently. "I'm... Well, I'm an idiot."
She snorted, and glanced over at him, smirking. "Oh?"
"Yes. All that stuff you said...you were right. We've all been through hell and back with each other. I'm not being fair to you. You're my best friend; you deserve to know what's going on."
Yukiko frowned. "What about Yosuke?"
"He's my best friend too, just...things are different with him. He's a guy."
Yukiko tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed, sitting up and turning towards Souji. "Alright. I'm ready to listen now."
Souji nodded, and folded his hands in his lap. "Well...give me some grace, because I'm not sure how I'm going to tell you."
"Really? I was sure you spent all afternoon rehearsing."
"I did. But it's all gone."
"Did you come here alone?" she asked.
Souji smiled faintly. "No. Yosuke's at the bottom of the stairs. Moral support."
"He knows you screwed up," Yukiko said. Souji nodded.
"Yeah. He's...clever sometimes, for such an idiot."
Yukiko smiled. "So..."
"Right. Well..."
"Just tell me," she said, repeating what he'd said to her not hours earlier.
Souji searched her eyes for a joke, a laugh attack waiting to escape, but found nothing. Nothing but an endless pit of mercy, curiosity, and a strange love he'd gotten used to seeing in her eyes when she looked at him. Unrequited, that was called. He found it unnerving, but comforting all at the same time.
"About a week and a half ago, Yosuke slept over at my house."
She nodded. "Yeah, you guys were zombies the next day. I remember."
Souji blushed faintly, and it did not escape Yukiko's notice.
"Well. I mean... I don't really know how to say this."
"Just tell me, Souji." This caught his attention. She seldom used his name without the suffix. In fact...she never used his name without the suffix.
"We slept together," Yosuke announced. Yukiko and Souji both looked at him, startled as he approached them, his brows together in a frown, his mouth a serious line. "Souji and I."
"...Is this true?" Yukiko asked Souji, turning her eyes back to him.
"Tell her, Souji."
Souji sighed. "...Yes. It's true."
Yukiko's mouth fell open in an 'o'. "...Wow. That's...certainly unexpected."
Yosuke stood in front of them, his arms crossed, his serious expression radiating tension onto all of them.
"Yeah. It was."
"Umm..." Yukiko's cheeks were flushed in embarrassment. "But Yosuke, all that stuff...you said in the bathhouse..."
Yosuke shrugged. "I don't know, Yukiko-san."
She smiled faintly. "But I never saw your shadow..."
"Only Souji's seen my shadow," Yosuke explained, sitting down on the steps beneath the altar, just a few steps below them. "...Souji's been the only one for a lot of things in my life."
Souji smiled, but blushed as well. Yukiko sighed. "Wow. This is...a lot to process."
"You're telling me," Souji said with a chuckle.
Yosuke shook his head. "Yeah, we're...not really sure what happens next."
"So you guys are...?" Yukiko asked. She looked at Souji, who had glanced over at Yosuke, and then back at her. She found the blush across Souji's cheeks to be beautiful.
"We don't know. We're...kind of playing it by ear."
"Are you going to tell the others?" she asked softly, reaching for Souji's hand. He let her take it and squeezed her fingers when she squeezed first.
"He wants to," Yosuke told her. "I suppose...it's kind of tactless to just announce that we had sex and then go from there. So we should probably make something up that's less...tacky."
Souji couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips.
Yukiko giggled. "So if you don't mind me asking...how did this happen anyway? Were you guys just...hanging out in his room or something and..."
"Don't get this confused with your yaoi girly fantasies," Yosuke muttered. "I don't know what goes on in that crap manga you girls read. Scares the crap out of me."
Souji smirked and shrugged. "It...I'm not sure how it started. The night's kind of a blur for me."
Yosuke nodded in agreement. "We're still in shock, probably."
"What'll Kanji say?" Yukiko asked, sliding closer to Souji, still holding his hand. Yosuke's wary eye didn't escape her notice.
Yosuke laughed and frowned, imitating Kanji in both expression and voice: "'Woah, senpai? Really? With a dude? Never woulda thought that!' Or something like that, anyway. Ha hah!"
Yukiko snorted, and the boys anticipated a laughing fit, but it never came. Instead, she let go of Souji's hand and sighed, smiling gently. "Well guys...I'm still angry that you didn't want to tell me, but...if you're happy, I'm happy. It's weird, but...I'm happy for you. I don't understand how."
"Neither do I," Yosuke muttered.
"We're good?" she asked, standing and offering a hand to Yosuke. He shook it, smirking, before pulling her into a short hug.
"Good, Yukiko-san."
"...I believe by now we're familiar enough to drop suffixes," she replied shyly, blushing. Souji laughed and put an arm around her shoulders.
"Let's go to Aiya. I'm starving."
"As long as you're treating," Yosuke replied, ducking under Souji's other arm. "I'm still paying off that huge tab at Junes from Teddie's clothes and the kotatsu!"
It was at this that Yukiko's giggle fit began and carried well on the way to the diner.
...
They dropped Yukiko off at home first. Yukiko smiled, looked at Yosuke for permission, and he nodded slightly, as if he knew what she was asking. She stood up on her toes and kissed Souji's lips lightly, blushing furiously.
"I'll never get a real one from you. Now I know why."
"...We still have a lot to talk about," Souji replied quietly, resting his forehead on the top of her head. "I'll see you tomorrow. Don't say anything, okay? We're not ready for the shit storm."
"Not even Chie," Yosuke insisted. Yukiko nodded.
"I promise," she said. "Goodnight. Thank you for dinner."
They waved and parted ways, Yukiko closing the door to the Amagi Inn behind her. As Yosuke and Souji walked down the street in the streetlight lit darkness, she slid to the floor, her back to the wall, and sobbed into her hands, defeated.
Souji stood at Yosuke's door step, relishing in the fact that the porch light wasn't on, so Yosuke couldn't see his face very well. Otherwise, he'd see his blush, which had become rather perpetual since last week. Souji found it frustrating that he couldn't get rid of it.
Yosuke found his keys and jingled them in his hands. "It's late," he said, glancing at the time on his phone.
"After ten?" Souji guessed. Yosuke nodded.
"Almost eleven."
"School tomorrow."
"...Do you want to come in?" Yosuke asked. "I know...it's a school night and all, but you've never actually seen my house."
Souji frowned, studying Yosuke's nervous body language before deciding it best to take a rain cheque.
"Next time," Souji said.
Yosuke was leaning against the door frame. "So..." he said nervously.
"That went better than I expected," Souji explained. "Do you think so?"
"I guess, yeah. It could have definitely gone a lot worse."
"She didn't cry."
Yosuke made a noise in his throat that sounded like a cross between a scoff and a laugh. "She's probably crying now, man. You know she was in love with you, right?"
"She confessed while we were still hunting Adachi," Souji said. This news surprised Yosuke and his eyebrows rose.
"Really?"
Souji nodded. "Yeah... It was a little weird after that because I told her I didn't feel right about it... It was probably a stupid move. She's an awesome girl."
"For someone else, maybe," Yosuke replied. "Sorry man, I know this is all new and soon and confusing and crap, but... I find myself kinda possessive."
Souji smirked. "I don't know that I mind all that much." He closed the distance between them and kissed Yosuke softly, his fingers lightly brushing against Yosuke's jaw. "Goodnight," he murmured when they'd just parted, so that his breath ghosted across Yosuke's lips.
"You sure you don't want to come in...?" Yosuke asked, his fingers clutching at the fabric of Souji's shirt.
"It's a bad idea," Souji replied softly. "Go inside. I'll see you at school."
Yosuke dropped his hands, disappointed. "Okay. Tomorrow."
Souji smiled and turned, waving as he left, and headed home for the evening.