Alan looked down at the two pairs of discarded glasses in front of him. He was overwhelmed with emotions. He felt nervous at letting all the things he had worked for up until this point go. He overflowing with excitement to be running away with the person he was closest to, the one person who he felt he could trust entirely. He was full of sadness by the thoughts of the nine hundred and ninety-nine souls that had been sacrificed to try and save him from the curse that was the "Thorns of Death."
Above these thoughts, one thought was running through Alan's mind and surpassing the rest. He thought about how ironic it was that Eric had sacrificed so much in order to try and save him from the Thorns of Death when there was a greater pain in Alan's heart. The pain that outdid even the thorns of death was his unrequited love for Eric. He had felt it ever since the first collection they had gone on together, when Alan had spotted the Erica flowers and they had made the connection that shaped their relationship forever.
Alan looked into Eric's eyes and felt a rush of adrenaline. He gave a nod, and the two ran off, leaving their glasses behind.
They had no real plan. They hadn't decided where they would go, or what they would do. All that they knew is that they intended to spend the rest of their days together and could never go back to the way things were before.
Alan had plenty of time to think things over as they ran away together. He thought about whether or not it was okay to tell Eric about his feelings for him.
A part of his mind said, No! If he doesn't love you back then you could ruin your friendship forever!
And another part said, If collecting nine hundred and ninety-nine souls for one person isn't love, I don't know what is.
They argued back and forth.
He's just a really good friend. Besides, even if he does have even a sliver of emotion for you, you shouldn't feed that. It's not fair to encourage him to become more attached to someone with an expiration date.
He's clearly already attached enough to give up everything for you! The least you could do is show him that you are equally attached to him.
Alan decided to tell him. This was a new chapter in each of their lives. If they were starting over together, Alan needed to be upfront and honest with Eric about everything.
"Eric, there's something I need to tell you . . ." Alan started. His anxiety skyrocketed as all the bad reactions Eric could possibly have ran through his head.
"What is it?" Eric asked.
Neither Eric nor Alan expected what happened next. As Alan's heart raced from anxiety, he began to feel a familiar burning sensation in his chest. The burning lasted all of two seconds before he collapsed entirely on the ground in pain. He clutched his chest. Why now? Why did this have to happen now?
"Alan!" Eric shouted as he ran up to him.
"I'm okay," Alan told him. He burst in to a fit of coughing.
Eric tried to comfort him through the attack. He held his hand tightly for a moment in between the waves of pain, but as soon as another fit of coughing began, Alan was forced to let go of Eric's hand to clutch his chest in pain, without dropping his scythe.
Moments later, after a fight between Eric and Sebastian, who had come to get rid him at the order of Ciel, everything changed completely.
"Ciel Phantomhive." Eric picked up the death scythe that Alan had knocked out of Sebastian's hand. He ran at Ciel. "Your soul…!"
He lifted the scythe, and brought it down with the sickening sound of a soul
being cut. Eric felt a flutter of excitement; this was the last soul, the only thing he needed to save Alan's life!
Eric's joy only lasted for a second before he realized what had really happened. The body before him was not Ciel Phantomhive's, but was in fact that of Alan Humphries. Eric dropped his scythe so that he could catch Alan as he fell.
Dying was not what Alan thought it would be like. He had imagined all of his memories flashing before his eyes, but there was only one thought in his mind. As the world swirled around him and faded into black he realized something. He would never be able to tell Eric about his feelings for him. All the love that he felt in his heart was in vain because the person he loved would never know.
"Alan?" Eric asked as he caught the smaller shinigami. "Alan!"
Alan's cinematic record began to play before their eyes. Each and every moment of Alan's life played out in a few seconds. Two parts stood out to Eric. The first was the time they had first gone on a mission together and had discovered the Erica flowers. This memory stood out in Eric's mind as being the time when the two of them had come to an understanding. That had been when he had fallen for the person who would eventually become the single most important thing in his life. It was an entirely different experience when looking at it through Alan's eyes.
Eric could hardly believe what he was seeing. The cinematic record showed him that Alan had loved him. He had felt the same emotions that Eric had held back. The love that he had hidden, afraid from driving Alan away, could have actually brought them closer.
The second part that stood out to Eric was near the very end of the cinematic record. Eric was able to understand Alan's thoughts and feelings from just a few moments earlier.
Just before Alan had an attack he had said, "There's something I need to tell you."
Eric had not thought anything of it, but it seemed important in hindsight. Alan was going to confess to Eric. If things had gone just a little differently, if Alan had just confessed a little earlier, or if his attack had been delayed just a little bit, Eric might have been able to hear that vital piece of information.
Alan's cinematic record ended, leaving Eric to cry over Alan's body. "If you die, why… why did I dirty my hands collecting a thousand souls!"
Sebastian smirked, clapping. "Congratulations. You have collected your one thousand souls. No, one thousand useless souls."
"Demon. . ." Eric said to Sebastian.
"The souls you collected might have been able to save Alan from the Thorns of Death, but they won't revive him. Everything that you have done until now is meaningless. All the souls you've collected are worthless. Just as Alan said, there is no need to grieve, because the two of you have the same fate." Sebastian paused for a moment to fix Ciel's jacket. "Death."
"Kill me demon," Eric pleaded. "Kill me, I beg of you."
"Going to all that trouble just to grant a death wish? That sort of thing is not in my nature. Young master, how should I handle this?" Sebastian asked.
"That's fine. Kill him." Ciel answered.
"Yes, my lord." Sebastian said with a bow.
"Alan's death scythe?" Eric asked, surprised, as Sebastian picked up the long weapon and approached him.
"Is there a problem?" Sebastian asked.
"No . . ." Eric said. He no longer cared.
"Do you not want to dirty Alan's death scythe with your filthy blood? Or, do you want to use his scythe for this one last deed?"
"I don't know . . ."
"Oh? You don't know?"
"I really don't know anymore," Eric said. "Everything until now has been pointless. . . "
"Is that so?" Sebastian asked. "In that case . . ."
With that, Sebastian slashed down across Eric's back. Eric's body fell backward, coming to rest next to Alan's. Eric could feel his soul separate from his body. He looked beside him to see Alan's soul right there with him.
"Eric," Alan said, a small smile was on his face. "It's over."
Eric looked away, not quite sure of what to do. He asked, "Alan?"
"Yes?" Alan answered.
"I love you," Eric said, turning to look Alan in the eyes.
"I love you too," Alan told him. "I always have."
Eric nodded in agreement.
"No matter what," Alan said, "whether we go to heaven, or hell, or whatever else is out there, I'm sure we'll be okay since we have each other."
"You're right," Eric said. "So there's nothing to be afraid of."
From behind them a bright light appeared, the two of them turned around, knowing they should go to it. Alan reached out and held Eric's hand, and together they walked toward the light ready for whatever would happen next.