Title: The In-Laws
Characters/Pairings: Shikamaru x Temari
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor any of it's affiliated characters. This is for my enjoyment and expression as a writer.
A/N: Long time no post, fellow dorks. c:
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In all honesty, Shikamaru is creeped out by his wife's family.
Though the first time they met at the chuunin exams didn't technically count, though it's hard to redo a first impression. From the stands where he first spotted the 3 siblings, he could see the Shuukaku junchuuriki looking particularly terrifying staring coldly at the battles. Shikamaru could practically see the calculations he was doing in his head with his creepy demon. Somewhere behind him, his older brother Kankuro was trying his best to talk up some late-teenaged Konoha-nin that had wandered in (and failing hilariously, if he put it lightly).
And then there was Temari next to him, calculating just as eerily as her brother. Except, of course, in a much more sexier way.
Even before he and Temari started officially dating (they were just officially having sex then), Gaara weirded him out. He would stare at him in the confides of his office, and raise an eyebrow that wasn't there at him as if to ask why he had graced the world with his presence. Then, deer-boy would hand over Tsunade's documents, or maybe Shizune's medical orders, and fidget awkwardly while he reviewed them with unreasonable precision and time.
Forget any and all chances that he was unaware of his sister's extracurricular slamming, because he made it so creepily obvious that he knew exactly what was going on. He would enter the office, and try to casually ask Matsuri or Kankuro where Temari was, and Gaara would just look at him as if to shout; I know what's going on.
Everyone in the room would have a slight sweat-drop, except for Matsuri who was perfectly content with pretending she had no idea what was going on. Gaara would precede to nod and tell him exactly where she'd be at what time, and smirk the faintest of smirks when he would book it out of his office with so much as a, "yeah".
But at the end of the day, Gaara tried at a regular relationship with Shikamaru, and somewhat succeeded. No real harm done.
Kankuro, on the other hand...
Well, he would try his best sometimes to have a good friendship with Shikamaru - despite strong hints from the opposite side that they were brother-in-laws, not drinking buddies. Nonetheless, when Kankuro would occasionally come with his sister and they arranged for some - ahem - alone time, the puppet boy would tag along.
Third Wheel Syndrome indeed.
Most nights it would start out that way, then they would head off to a bar (in hopes he would drink himself so he would just leave them alone) and he would desert them in hopes of finding a girl to wheel him home after a heavy sake round. When he and his temporary peice didn't crash at Temari's condo (leaving them both to deal with the wrath of a "That-Damn-Sand-Girl-Better-Be-Taking-The-Couch" Yoshino in Shikamaru's attempt at avoiding an awkward situation), they would head back to her place. Believe him, finding a hung over, naked Kankuro was never a fun job as fun as it could be for Temari (and, occasionally, Gaara, who strangely enjoyed it).
On multiple occasions it was Shikamaru's job to carry a shit-faced drunk Kankuro back to a bed he himself was hoping to occupy (at least, for a few hours). And, again, it was only humorous to the one or two people that accompanied him on the forever-trek from the seedy part of town to Temari's lodging.
Kankuro may have been a major pain in the ass, but he was nice to fall back on when he was having trouble with Temari, or, hell, pretty much anyone else. He was a surprisingly good listener for such a wannabe ladies-man.
At the end of the day, Shikamaru has a pretty good relationship with his in-laws. Of course they have their cliched ups and downs and whatnot, but they are, at worst, a loose-knitted family.
He likes it.
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If only Temari could say the same.
In short, the sand kunoichi is terrified of her in-laws.
Wonderful, fire-breathing Yoshino is more forceful than strong, which is saying something. Temari, unlike her mother-in-law, does not dislike someone for no reason. She gathers evidence, a viable reason, and a nice collection of witty lines to use in conversation. Bitchiness just comes naturally to Yoshino, it seems. It's like she doesn't even have to work at it. You might even say Temari's a tiny bit jealous. But hey, can't a girl get a break?
What's a little fornication, deflowering and slight manipulation of your only son?
He was more than ready for sex, plus, there's not much to deflower on a prickly, hairy and disproportionate thorn ("How is that possible, scrawny?") And, the only manipulation she ever practiced was for Suna and its political needs. Certainly no reason to hate your daughter-in-law.
The first time they met was ...less than satisfactory. It was the first time she had spent the night at Shikamaru's house, and was totally unaware that while his A/C was out in his apartment he crashed at his parents (her logic was not following that all of his friends were shinobi too, and the only time they spent at their peice-of-shit pads was with girlfriends, so the only place to go on a massive leave was to his parents place, or maybe Ino's house). The sand-nin had stumbled down the steps in nothing but the sheets, and was on her way to get a cup of coffee before she completed her smash-and-dash when she ran into the fellow kunoichi.
It was terrifying.
Yoshino was not taken aback by her presence at all. She knew that her son was seeing someone - whether he spoke about her or not was not important, a mother knows - and the short mess of sex-hair and off-white bedsheets in front of her was a likely suspect. So, naturally, she stared at her firmly and told her something eery like, "You know, I think now is the only time I'll think white suits you."
Ouch, indeed.
But the only time she ever really saw her after that was at dinner at Shika's house (which was a grand total of 2 times, both living hell), or wandering the halls of it. And, of course, the wedding if that counts.
In mentioned ceremony, it was another living hell trying to keep her, her awkwardly serious prejudice of Suna, and Temari's side of the family all separated from one another (all three surviving on their own in whispers). She and Shikaku ended up being surprisingly calm, though, until the end when she and Baki got in a bitch-fight over the last serving of mackerel.
What she was most scared of about the woman was their similarities. They both battered Shikamaru and other men around like dead fish, they both read very little into what others thought of them, and they considered themselves both strong, independent women. She was looking into a biological mirror, and not liking what she saw. She kept thinking to herself, "Am I that cruel?"
Shikaku, though, is who got to her. Really got to her.
In the beginning, Shikamaru would occasionally have her over for a little shogi and sake (and, if it was just the two of them, rough sex). Though sometimes his father would meander in and join in the whole party, making strategic moves on both of them, both literally (in the game), and mentally.
Shika might have left to get some more sake, or use the restroom, and it would be just them. The two of them, Shikaku and Temari, sitting across the room from one another with gassy-infant expressions. The older Nara wouldn't say anything, no attempt to make conversation. No, he would just sit there, and glance over at her with these calculating, stone faces.
It bothered her to the point of exhaustion.
How could a human being be so nerve-wracking? The old man would give her a look that was a confusing mix that told her many, many things. He would stand behind his son on his choice to court such a hardened Sand-nin (and to get off his ass and do something that put him towards a family), yet he would also somewhat please his wife (which was a joke in itself) by seeking no form of friendship or kinship with her. Although, truth be told, Shikaku sees nothing wrong with her and thinks her a moderately nice person, even if she can be a bit too-tough at times.
He just sits there and thinks on the inside that he hasn't really made up his mind about her, and maybe that's okay. After all, it's kind of nice to just watch her squirm.
Shikamaru finds his in-laws intelligent, kind people, despite the social and cultural boundaries they face with each other. While they may not always get along, they can find humor, and they can at least tolerate each other when at ends. It's really sweet, this harmony shit they've fallen into.
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Temari's just paranoid about the whole thing.
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