Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with iCarly, I'm just a guy and this is my twisted fanfic. I will not repeat this so that goes for every other chapter of this story.

Are You Down With The Sickness

Merissa Benson looked on at her son Freddie as He walked out the door on his way to school and all but one thought played through her mind, and that was how much he looked like his father. And with that a switch was flipped in her inner psyche.

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17:30 PM

Freddie was all but beat from a meeting with his fellow AV club members and another web cast of iCarly, so when he entered his apartment he didn't care for the eerie silence playing the apartment or that his overbearing and overprotective mother was no where to be seen; when she should have been all over him about tick baths and whatever else she could think of to keep him safe and healthy. But all of that went unnoticed as all that was on Freddie's mind was to get to his bed and rest his eyes for a moment; that being code for "I'll sleep my ass off ". As Freddie entered his room he swung the door shut but failed to notice there was no click, with little effort he kicked his shoes off and slumped into his bed face first and started to drift out of consciousness when a light touch at the back of the head brought him back to life. Freddie felt fingers comb through his hair slowly, he was slightly groggy but that soon wore off and He recognized the fingers.

"Mom?"

After years of tick baths from his mother Freddie would know his mother's touch even in the thick of blindness. He waited for a reply but got none; the fingers pulled out of his hair and he could hear her give out a sigh. Giving up on getting any sleep with a sigh of his own Freddie flipped himself onto his back and stared up at his mother, she was sitting on the right side of his bed smiling down at him with what can only be described as a look of adoration. He waited for Her to say something but She held Her tongue and looked down at him, as he was about to ask if something was wrong she moved her hand to his face and brushed his left cheek.

"Freddie you do know how much I love you right?" She asked

"Yeah I do" Freddie answered uncertainly as he pondered at what was going on.

"Good because all we have is each other, just you and me"

She said as she leaned down and kissed him on the forehead, she pulled back but not too far only a few inches between their faces, and moved her right hand and rested it on Freddie's right next to his waist to keep him in place. Freddie looked up into his mother's glazed eyes and started to squirm under their gaze. Marissa Benson looked down at her son and could tell he was starting to feel uncomfortable with the look she was giving him and she gave out a soft chuckle.

"You are so much like your father you know" She didn't wait for a response "He also got uncomfortable when I gave him this look, I miss your father so much Freddie and looking at you…. it's like I'm staring right at him"

She gave another soft chuckle and looked back down at Freddie who still wore the same Uncomfortable expression on his face.

"Do you know how I used to do to get your father to calm down when he was giving me that look?"

And this time she did wait for him to say something; Freddie had started to shake a bit as she looked on for an answer He didn't want to give.

"No" Freddie managed to croak out.

Marissa closed the gap between their faces and kissed her son on the mouth. Freddie's brain stopped as soon as his mother's lips made contact with his own, she kissed Him softly and slowly as if to savor the kiss. He could feel Her tongue probing for entry into his mouth, Freddie had no intension of opening his mouth; that is until He felt Her right hand move to his lap and moving towards his groin area which made Him give a short gasp opening his mouth enough for Marissa to deepen the kiss with Her tongue and explore his mouth.

Freddie didn't know what to think or do…...He wanted to push Her off and scream bloody Mary at Her but He couldn't ,He was paralyzed and so He just laid there, closed his eyes and tried to think of a place far far away, but no matter how hard He tried he could feel Her hands as they explored his body, unzip his pants, slip into his boxers and give Him a hand job long enough to get him erect, nor could He stop the sounds of Her husky lust filled voice from reaching his ears as she rocked back and forth on top of Him calling his father's name, and her nails digging into his chest when she reached Her climax. In the end though what had disturbed him most was how good it felt when He came as well.

When she was done she slowly extracted herself from him, hopping off the bed she walked out of the room returning a few minutes later with a slightly wet towel and once again sat herself down beside him and started to clean up the mess she made him make. Freddie hadn't moved since the beginning of the ordeal maybe some spasms as he came at the end but no movement overall, He felt as though he were paralyzed but very aware of his surroundings. He could smell the sex in the air, every time He took a breath it entered his nostrils making him want to gag, not because the smell disgusted him but because it reminded him of what had happened a few minutes ago and who it is was with. Freddie felt dirty violated and ashamed, and He wanted to cry…no He really wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come.

Marissa wiped the last of the semen off Freddie and looked at her son, He didn't meet her eyes nor did He move, He was just staring up at the ceiling his face made of stone and leaving no clue for his dying innocence. Marissa Benson felt shame overcome her as she stared at her son who had remained stoic throughout the entire ordeal, she didn't want to see him like this but her will to resist her craving for what she lost many years ago had failed her, she knew it was wrong but…She couldn't help herself… not anymore.

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It had been a while since his mother had left his room and proclaimed to go make dinner, asking if He had any requests but that went unanswered. Slowly Freddie sat upright using his elbows to prop himself up, He swung his legs to the side of the bed and felt shivers run up his spine as his feet touched the floor. He got up and headed for the bathroom, when He got there He started to strip off his clothes, to any normal person Freddie would have seemed calm and collected but He was anything but collected, in his mind everything was in turmoil with little ant men looking for the 411 on how to deal with being molested by your only parent.

Freddie stepped into the shower and let the hot water rain down on his body failing to notice He had not balanced it out with the cold water. After a few minutes of being cooked alive Freddie switched on the cold water and let the heat even out, He briefly took a look at his body and could make out where his mother's nails had dug into Him and had multiple feelings go through Him; first sickness ,then shame, and finally anger. Anger being the one that stuck, he couldn't believe after years of his mother's over protectiveness it would be her He needs protection from. Freddie wasn't stupid He knew what his mother had done to Him; at this point Freddie couldn't stomach the thought of it and felt bile rise up his throat as He puked all over himself.

Freddie continued to dry heave for a few seconds until He got control of himself, his vision was a slightly blurry but that was fine with him; he wouldn't want to see the mess He made on himself anyway. The water had washed most of the vomit off Him and down the drain when Freddie started to clean himself up with some shampoo which overwhelmed the stink of his vomit, He didn't scrub himself to death like how they do in the movies he had to chuckle and roll his eyes at that, He figured the first round with the hot water had washed away any impurity off Him, his beet red skin had to be proof of that.

As He stepped out of the shower Freddie felt calm and his thoughts had started to focus as well. He picked up a towel off the rack to dry himself and sat on top of the closed toilet and started to think about what came next. Freddie felt like a war was being raged in his head as He thought of what to do; it was like He had two personalities in his head contradicting one another.

'You should tell somebody' he thought but immediately pushed it aside as another thought made itself known

'And then what? Have them tell the police and take her away? All I have is her, when they take her away I'll be all alone and end up in some social services orphanage' Freddie grit his teeth at the thought of his mother being locked up or him being alone

' Its better than the alternative of having her fondle and get off on me every other night and developing some sick psychological complex, which I will if this keeps up'

'Maybe it won't happen again' Freddie thought with a hopeful pause 'maybe She just needed to get it out of her system, besides it wasn't so bad at the end '

"Arggghh!" Freddie growled frustration burying his head in his hands

The last part had made Him sick; he hated the fact that deep down he knew he had enjoyed the sex. Freddie could feel his stomach churn at the thought of it. Freddie's mind was deep in thought until a knock at the apartment door brought Him back to reality.

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Marissa Benson was about to tell Freddie that dinner would be ready in a few minutes so he would finish up when she heard a knock at the door. She was glad Freddie wasn't around to answer it; she didn't want him talking to anyone before they talked and she explained about what happened earlier. She reached the door and opened it to find their neighbor Carly, she had that her happy go lucky smile plastered on her face. She had seen the way Freddie would look at Carly; with love but the girl ignored Him time and time again, Marissa didn't see what Freddie saw in her, she was just another pretty face but it didn't matter now she could give him all the loving he deserved.

"Hello Mrs. Benson" Carly said oblivious to Freddie's mother's thoughts

"Hello Carly do you need something?" She asked

"Yes, Freddie to be exact" Carly said in a playful manner

"Oh I'm sorry Freddie is in the shower right now but I'll tell him you stopped by when he gets out of the shower"

"Oh, ok thanks Mrs. Benson" Carly answered in a wary voice from the look She was getting from Freddie's mom

Marissa shut the door before Carly had even turned to leave, turning back to the apartment she saw Freddie come into the room his hair still a bit wet. Giving Him a nervous smile she waited for him to say something.

"Who was it?" Freddie asked suspiciously

"Just Carly, She needed you for something" before Freddie could reply she continued "you can check up on her after dinner."

Freddie gave her a look she couldn't read as she motioned for him to sit. She went to the kitchen counter and returned with two plates of spaghetti meatballs and laid one plate in front of Freddie. Freddie stared down at his food never making eye contact with his mother unsure of what to say or do as an awkward silence started to build around them.

"Freddie" She called out to the other side of the table

For the first time since they sat down Freddie looked up at his mother with a sullen look on his face which Marissa had to smile at because He looked so adorable.

Freddie let his eyes answer her call before fixing his eyes back on his food

"About what happened, I'm sure you're pretty confused right now" She said as she prepared to explain their situation while keeping him in touch to her being his mother. The psychology she picked up on her way to becoming a nurse would serve her well today.

Freddie didn't reply but waited for her to continue and explain how she could do this to him.

Marissa knew Freddie wasn't an idiot but she knew how she could get Freddie to understand that she was lonely and needed him today. She had drilled it into his head since he was a child that all they had was each other and knew just how much he depended on her even with his slight rebellions caused by the two other females in his life. She was going to use his love to get him to understand her need for him.

"Freddie you know how much I love you" she said but paused "-And what happened was just me showing you just how much I love you." She said her voice soft filling his ears with love but then she took a deeper more serious tone.

"But you can't tell anyone about this because they wouldn't understand our love. You know they would take you away from me leaving you all alone, you wouldn't want that would you?"

"No" Freddie agreed his eyes darting up at her filled with uncertainly

"Good because I need you Freddie, I'm so lonely and all I have is you" She said softly her voice filled with an excruciating amount of vulnerability it threatened to break Freddie's heart.

Getting up from the table apparently done with her food Freddie watched his mother's form retreat into the kitchen only to return a moment later, She walked over to him and bent down to his level and kissed Him on the cheek and drifted down to his neck and sucked on it a while leaving a hickey.

"Now all those ungrateful girls at your school know that you belong to someone. Just you and me right Fredward?" by girls meaning Carly

He silently gave a nod and she disappeared into her bedroom. Freddie gave one last look at his food and decided He wasn't hungry so He got up and took his plate into the fridge noting his mother hadn't finished hers as well. When standing in the kitchen Freddie felt a shudder run through Him, He looked around at the apartment and felt something was different but couldn't or wouldn't place what it was. Freddie was about to go into his room when He remembered that Carly had stopped by, so he made for the apartment door but stopped mid stride as He remembered the souvenir left by his mother on his neck. He went back into his room grabbed a scarf, which would have to do for now. When Freddie was out of his apartment He felt relieved for some reason but He didn't dwell too long on that and made his way over to the Shay apartment.

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Carly was lazing around on the couch when she heard a knock on the front door, knowing it was Freddie.

"Come in" She shouted

Freddie crept into the apartment with an anxious look on his face. He had his back pack and was wearing a blue shirt, black jeans and some chucks, but what caught Cary's attention was the out of place scarf He had on but She decided against asking probably his mother's idea.

"Hey Freddie, You ok?" Carly asked getting up from the couch

"Yeah I'm ok ….so my mom told me you needed me for something?' Freddie said deciding to get to the point and leave so as to get his chizz together.

"Ah yeah, my laptop won't charge so I was hoping you could take a look at it for me"

"Sure where is it?" He said wanting to get this over with

As Carly motioned Freddie over to her laptop on the kitchen counter, she observed that he was detached and that she did not have his full attention which is very unusual but thought nothing of it. Freddie fiddled with her laptop power cable a bit and when He would bend it in certain ways it would work but as soon as he let go of the cable it stopped charging. Freddie got up and looked at Carly

"The charger is acting faulty but we can share mine until you buy a new one" He gave her a small smile as He pulled out the charger from his bag

"Thanks Freddie, I don't know what I'd do without you" returning his smile with her happy go lucky smile

"No problem" Freddie said zipping up his bag and getting up to go

This struck Carly as weird; Freddie usually tried to make conversation or anything to get her attention, peacocking if you will. Carly wanted to know what was up with him as he seemed fine a few hours ago, now he carried himself as if he wanted to be rid of her as fast as he could.

"Hey Freddie?"

She called out catching his shoulder with her right hand, as soon as the hand made contact with his shoulder Freddie batted it away and made a 180 degree and gave her a panic stricken look but as soon as she saw it, it was gone. Carly had a bewildered look on her face as she starred at him waiting for an explanation for the dramatic reaction.

"Sorry about that, it's a reflex from these mother son self defense classes my mom has us taking" He lied not a good one but it would do for now.

Carly could only nod still shocked at what had happened, 'had Freddie just shied from her touch?' she silently wondered

"Hey I got a ton of homework to do so I'll see you tomorrow" Freddie said in a hurried manner as He exited the shay apartment.

Freddie stood in the hallway his back to the shay apartment and looking to his own, He didn't enter though he just stood there. After a few minutes of pointless standing Freddie entered his apartment and walked as quickly as he could into his room and shut the door behind him. He stood in his dark room for a few seconds breathing hard; looking around his room he felt something was different. He dropped his bag onto the floor with a thud and kicked off his shoes while striping of his shirt, his pants soon to follow. After striping to his boxers He put on a comfortable t-shirt and got into bed, He felt exhausted but when He closed his eyes sleep did not come. His body might have been tired but his brain was going a hundred miles per hour as He battled his conscience.

'All her life she took care of you as a single parent and never asked for much, giving into her once in a while is the least I could do' he thought sorrowfully but refuted the thought 'She is my mother, it's not right!'

'She is all you have; if she is taken away you will be alone'

'I'll have Carly and Sam' Freddie thought hopefully

'And what do you think they will think off you once this gets out? They would be disgusted and reject you'

Freddie shook his head denying the thought 'n...no, no they wouldn't they are my friends, they would understand'

'Do you really believe that?'

Freddie hesitated 'yes'

'Deep down you know that the only reason Carly has you around is because you make the tech stuff work for iCarly and Sam only tolerates your presence just because Carly does, you can see it in their eyes. The two people you call your best friends may care for you but there are only teenagers, as soon as they hear you're literarily a motherfucker things will never be the same, maybe they'll keep you around out off pity but sooner or later they will leave and you will be alone. Do you want to be alone?' Freddie could feel despair setting in.

'No' Freddie thought after a pause, his mind made up.

*tap* *tap*

A knock at the door brought Freddie out of his head. He sat up from his bed to watch his door creak open and his mother silently slip into the room filling it with brief light coming from the hallway. She shut the door and made her way over to Freddie and sat on the right side of his bed.

"How did things go with Carly?"

"Good, She was having problems with her laptop and I helped her out" He answered quietly.

"Kept our secret?" She asked bending down towards his face

"Yes "

"Good, now I'm going to give you a reward for being such a good boy" She whispered huskily into his ear as she lowered him back down on his back.

She pulled away from his face and moved back into her upright position; she gripped his blanket and threw it off him leaving it at his feet. Freddie watched as his mother clutched his boxers and pulled them down to his ankles, then climbing onto the bed and on top of Freddie as she pulled his top up a few inches exposing his navel. She bent down and started kiss his stomach and then focused on his belly button, kissing and licking it. Freddie moved his arms to the side of the bed and dug his hands into his sheets as she started to trail kisses down his stomach towards his groin. Marissa pulled back to look at her son, He had his eyes closed and hands gripping the sheets. She saw his member and it was erect and with that she bent down and took it whole into her mouth. She slowly licked and sucked on his member, while her fingers raked on his chest. Freddie could feel it coming, He was about to lose himself. As her head moved up and down on Freddie's shaft, Marissa cupped his testicles in her right hand and stroked his thigh with her left, with that Freddie couldn't hold himself back anymore and came into her mouth. She pulled back as quick as she could but Freddie arched upwards spraying himself into her mouth and all over his stomach.

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Freddie was panting wildly as Marissa cleaned off some of the come that was on her face. Freddie guessed she had swallowed she did not spit anything out. When she finished cleaning up her face and his stomach she walked over to Freddie and gave him a soft kiss to the forehead.

"Good night Fredward, I love you" She said as She walked out off his room

Freddie sat in the growing darkness breathing hard and starring wide eyed at the ceiling as the light from the hall way faded along with his mother's exit, and that's when it came to him; the reason why his room and entire apartment felt different sending shivers up and down his spine.

"It doesn't feel like home anymore" He mumbled quietly as a few tears spilled from his eyes and a smile on his face.

To Be Continued

A.N: Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix it right up.

3ohe