Hey! So, this is my third published iCarly fic :D I've written it so long ago! But, as you'll see, it's pretty long so I kept revising and revising it...
I know it's not as long as a long-shot (LOL) but I planned to write it as a one-shot and it turned out having over 7 thousand words! It'll be a three-shot, then LOL Your eyes need some rest!
It's also pretty different than my other fics, I tried to figure some feelings and thoughts Sam and Freddie would have during their relationship plus what they WOULD feel and do if none have had the guts to say what they were feeling.
Sorry if there're too many repeated words/phrases. I wrote like crazy and tried my best to correct my mistakes after that so, if you find something wrong, let me know! :D
[IMPORTANT, READ THIS PLEASE!]
I wrote it last year so Seddie's second kiss never happened!
Sam, Freddie and Carly are 18 years old in this... I hope I haven't messed up the time line! (In s4 they're sixteen, right?)
Have fuN!
Disclaimer: No, I do not own a Tv show. YET! *daydreaming*
1.Drama is their Reality
Sam and Freddie were on Carly's couch as she took one of her famous long baths.
She'd been through a rough patch ever since she realized she had feelings for Gibby. Coming to that realization was hard enough, but dealing with all the jealousy that it implied was even worse.
When he broke up with Tasha, she felt like maybe they could get together, but they didn't. He made no move, she made no move, and he got other jealousy.
That day, she had just run into one of his dates at The Groovy Smoothie. Then, she decided to run back home (discretely, so he wouldn't notice) and lock herself into the bathroom.
Her friends were with her all the time what brought them to her living room.
"Carly! Just get out of there!" Freddie screamed for the 5th time.
"NO!" She screamed back.
"Dude, we've seen 10 episodes of Girly Cow already!" Sam complained.
"I DON'T CARE!"
"Would you stop being such a sissy?"
"NO!"
Sam groaned then threw her head on the back of the couch so she was facing the ceiling.
"I'm so tired of the drama!"
Freddie laughed ironically as he also rested his head on the couch," We're eighteen, our lives are based on it."
"It just makes everything so stupid. Things are much more simple than we make them."
"Yeah, right. " Freddie chuckled and she hit his arm. " I'm still not changing my mind. " He smirked, even though the ceiling was the only one watching.
Things weren't simple at all. It had been especially clear to him about two years before that very scene, when he started to realize his feelings for Sam were getting out of hand.
He used to hate her. REALLY hate her, even when they started doing iCarly together (in the previous 5 years). She was a pain in the ass that wouldn't stop mocking every little part of him and his surroundings, she was lazy, she was reckless, she was…infuriating and he couldn't get her.
He tried his best to show her he wasn't the nub she thought he was, not because he liked her, but because he wanted to win. Awkwardly, it seemed like she was changing a little too (or maybe just stop pretending to be so harsh).
And somehow, after a few months, he was beginning to see a good side in her and when he realized that, he started to see her as a possible friend.
He wasn't sure, he could never be. She'd always do something almost nice and put him down right after.
She kept telling how stupid he was and how much she hated being around him, but their bets were pure fun (even if he lost every time…).
On the following year, he found himself finally being sure.
He was so, so pissed at her. She could always mess with him but when he tried to get her back she'd go all "I don't play to get even, I play to win" and yada yada yada…So she humiliated him badly ( for their standards back then…being 18 he would just simply ignore it…probably), telling everyone that his fourteen-year old self had never kissed anybody.
Then, against all the odds, she humiliated herself on iCarly and later, accepted kissing him.
After that, everything went so fast he could barely reach it. The friendship level was slow and uncertain, but once they'd reached it, the best friend level came right after.
He didn't know how that if she annoyed him and was terrible most part of the time, he'd do anything for her (if he knew it was really necessary).
And he did. He gave up his six-month dream cruise for her- it was unbelievably instinctive - he gave that up to Missy because he worried about Sam. He wasn't in love with her, he really wasn't. He just truly cared.
The following year was a blur. He was in love with Carly but there was something else growing that he couldn't understand.
When she asked if they liked the kiss, he couldn't answer. Sam couldn't either.
How could he not like it? His mind raced.
It was his first kiss; and kisses are usually good (the fact that she was kind of an enemy was ignored by his mind). More important, it was one of the clearest signs that Sam was a good person who cared about him too (she could deny it, but he had a vivid proof printed in his mind).
The answer: yes, he liked it very much.
It was unnerving when his heart skipped to that realization.
His fights with Sam were becoming different, inexplicably less hurtful and his whole relationship with her was better. Their little competitions (they always needed to make sure one of them was the winner, Sam usually was) were becoming more and more amusing. He realized how much he enjoyed their moments together.
They were connecting, even if they still hated each other's guts sometimes; It was not that rare for them to help each other out anymore.
They regularly agreed about the most random, yet clarifying things; agreements that showed how closer they've turned out to be. Her strong personality was not only something he was used to, but something with traits he was fond of.
She actually convinced him that he should break up with Carly, the (supposedly) love of his life. How insane was that? She was the person he claimed to hear the less, she kept becoming the opposite though.
So, he broke up with Carly promising they'd coming back, in case she still liked him after a few months (Because he obviously would still like her…right?).
However, little by little, his feelings towards her were becoming friendlier and less romantic.
Still, on the beginning of the fourth year since he started hanging out with Carly and Sam, he'd feel a bit jealous of the guys she had crush on; he flirted once or twice like his old self would.
One day (or at least it felt like it), he woke up not having those feelings anymore. They had faded away, for good.
There were a few peaceful, lacking all that romance distress, months after that.
He soon felt something else irking...His feelings when he fought with Sam.
They were his wake up call.
During all those years, they became extremely confusing: pure hate, hate, hate/not caring, disgust, more hate, hate and…amusement?, hate and amusement, hate and need to prove himself, hate and need to win, need to win and to prove himself, need to win and …fun, fight just to fight, anger, anger and something running down his spine, disappointment, fun, anger and fun; then it became an undefined mass of emotions.
That year, one of them felt a lot like an urge to kiss her.
He denied it and punished himself. That couldn't be was impossible and stupid. Worse, it was insane. He was insane. And that was gonna get him killed.
But he couldn't help noticing how her actions had changed during all those years together; he had rubbed off on her and vice-versa. Then he'd call himself crazy again when she'd treat him badly once more, like they weren't even friends on the first place.
He spent all those months falling in and out of love more and more often.
However, being Sam still Sam and Freddie still Freddie… his feelings fueled specially one thing…
He'd fight her like crazy; anything seemed to trigger their bickering, not only because the fact that she treated him badly was annoying more than usually, but because he was full of crazy sensations that seemed to boil over him and he felt the need to just spill them out some way.
He decided he wouldn't let her win all their fights anymore. He went back to fencing so he could be stronger, even if that forced him to take classes with his mom (it was the only way she'd allow it).
He didn't get as a strong as he wanted (he was still a typical nerd) but it at least helped him to pretend he was feeling nothing when attacked. She'd beat him, pin him to the ground and he'd get up and go away with a straight/smirking face, as if nothing had happened( even if his body ached as never before).
He soon found out that it got on her nerves.
His comebacks were better and more frequent, still worse than hers. At the same time, it seemed like her insults had become less personal and hurtful.
They had somehow met halfway, winning 50 and 50% of the battles, what only made everything even wilder. The yelling was louder, Sam began throwing things at him and he'd throw other things back. Later, it wouldn't be rare to see himself starting the throwing-stuff-that-are-nearby war.
That was the problem, the danger, his concern. To anyone, their relationship was going downhill, next to breakdown.
He knew it better, though.
Almost unnoticeably, their fights were also less serious and more hobby-ish, their nicknames didn't seem to mean anything actually malicious.
They were closer than ever, and she was no longer doing things to hurt him for good.
There was no longer the falling out of love moment.
He tried to refuse and suppress it again, not because he hated the fact alone that he was in love with his frenemy...-He was not in love with her randomly; he really, really liked her-
No, the problem was that she was still Sam Puckett who thought he was the biggest dork alive and would probably murder him if she knew (even if she had stopped beating him that badly after all).
So, the year before the couch scene was ridiculous.
He knew for sure that he was –girly expression moment- head over heels for her.
He'd often ask himself if she liked him too, analyzing everything she said and did.
Then, he just decided to ignore his feelings in order to survive, hoping they'd disappear or that other girl (who decidedly liked him back and didn't share a history of enmity) would come along.
As if…
Where the heck would he find a girl like Sam? That got him like she did? That was smart and funny and deep and strong and…
The only logic decision was to just ignore his heart, and mind.
To live like a zombie and hope no one would start a rumor about him. Because, honestly, if anyone had watched him during classes, looking at the horizon daydreaming(about Sam with him), then making a grimace(they would never happen) then shaking his head( he was supposed to stop thinking about that subject) all in less than a minute… those were the conclusions one could have: 1. He had a really bad itch somewhere 2. he had an unresolved attraction to teachers
Yeah, that was the level of his insanity. The more he avoided his thoughts, the crazier they got.
But apart from these "horizon moments", he was kind of managing to pretend nothing was happening… remembering what Sam could do or what he could lose if she found out made it easier to act as if he felt nothing .
What he did forget was that one of those feelings tends not to let being held.
Jealousy.
Every time she'd have a crush or date a guy things got messy. Most times, he'd do a pretty good job and just keep a bad mood. Other times (when he had a bad mood already) he'd fight even more with her (was it possible?) and bash the dude.
At the same time, when he dated or "liked" a girl (haha) she appeared to get acid as well. He kept telling himself he was delusional, but he couldn't escape from that suspicion.
Slowly, the months passed, the year changed again and he decided to stop dating or showing interest on other girls. Curiously enough, so did she (except that she showed interest on guys not girls…). It was a relief but, at the same time, confusing.
He had thought the chances she felt something for him were near to zero;At that point,though, things turned foggy.
They still bickered like it was a game; but he wasn't sure what kind of game it was anymore. Officially, it was just to decide who won and who the loser was, like always.
Except that it felt a lot like there were other things behind their screams.
Nothing was ever clear; the fact that he couldn't trust his feelings or head didn't help either.
They were having a great time together (including the fighting and teasing), but he just felt frustrated.
What he felt for her was simply amazing and there was nothing he could do about it. It wasn't like when he liked Carly, he could wait and wait for his dreams to come true and for him to become her second husband or whatever. He wanted to be with Sam at that very moment, and enjoy what they already had. He didn't want to risk it by letting her go away with a douche or by letting time pass and lose everything on the way.
Carly was his dream. And it felt like it when he dated her.
Sam was reality and it was a million times better.
Yet, just like the relation between dreams and reality, it was also a million times more complicated.
No, Sam, things are not easy at all.
Please, review... It takes less than one minute to make someone happy :D