A/N: Well, this is my first TMI fic…here's hoping it goes well!
Summary: Magnus and Alec spend their first night alone after many nights together. Malec angst. Spoilers for COLS.
Disclaimer: I humbly acknowledge that I don't own TMI.
Alec sat in his room at the Institute. He'd never really gotten the chance to properly move out, but it just didn't feel like home anymore. He had always heard that 'home is where the heart is' and he assumed that home would always be with his family. But he was with his family now. Izzy and Maryse were down the hallway and Jace was in the infirmary. They were all there. Alec had his family. Right?
He turned his head to the side and saw a picture on his night table. It was from when he and Magnus were travelling. Magnus was doing some ridiculous pose and Alec had just stared at him. After the picture was taken they both burst out laughing and Magnus had taken Alec in his arms and danced him around in circles. Alec reached out to touch the picture and felt a stabbing pain in his heart. Magnus.
Magnus lay back on his propped up pillows and gently stroked Chairman Meow stretched out next to him. Sure he felt a little guilty for basically kicking Alec out, but he needed time to think. And he needed to make Alec think. What Alec had almost done was inexcusable. Of course, it had been Camille who was truly to blame for putting the idea in his head in the first place.
But Magnus wasn't stupid. He knew Alec. Alec wasn't one for many words, but he told Magnus more than he thought he did. Alec had started acting weird after coming home from the Faerie Court. Magnus winced at the word 'home'. Of course Alec had thought of this place as home. Alec also cared too much for Magnus to tell him anything that might worry him. So Magnus had to find out on his own. He learned what the Seelie Queen had done to Alec. How she had scared him. And if Magnus could find out, no doubt that Camille had found out too, giving her the perfect leverage to get Alec to consider her plan.
Alec took his phone in his hand. Speed dial #1 was the Institute. Speed dial #2 was Magnus. Alec's thumb hovered over the call button. The number lit up the screen, tempting him to press the button and apologize again. It had to be worth something that Alec couldn't go through with it. But that wasn't what had upset Magnus. No, he was upset because Alec didn't talk to him about it. Alec hated worrying other people, especially Magnus. He didn't want to talk about it because what if Magnus had told him he was just being a ridiculous child? He couldn't take that.
Sighing, Alec put his phone back down. The only other person he felt like calling was Clary so that she could make a rune to numb his heartbreak. But Alec wouldn't do that. Clary had enough to deal with. She didn't need to know about Alec's stupidity.
Alec laid himself down on his bed. The first thing he noticed was that it felt different than Magnus's. He felt that pang in his heart again as he thought of the warlock. Still, there wasn't much he could do now except try to sleep. So Alec rested his head on the pillows and closed his eyes.
Magnus looked at the clock next to him and realised that it was well past midnight. He adjusted his pillows and lay down properly. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
It wasn't long before his hand unconsciously reached across to the other side of the bed. When it fell farther than Magnus was used to and onto the bed instead of a body, Magnus jolted awake, wondering where Alec was. For a few moments he was confused but then he remembered. Alec wasn't there. He'd told Alec to leave. He said they were over. Magnus squeezed his eyes shut and a tear escaped one. He'd never missed anyone like he missed Alec.
Alec wasn't sure how long he'd been lying in bed for. It felt like hours. His bed just didn't feel right anymore and he missed having Magnus reach for him in his sleep and the gentle purr of Chairman Meow. Giving up on trying to sleep, Alec walked over to the window. He saw the horizon starting to get brighter as the sun rose over the city.
Alec had no sleep and no energy but he had determination. Somehow…he was going to make things right with Magnus.
After Magnus woke up without Alec next to him, he was unable to go back to sleep. Instead, he settled on his balcony with a freshly brewed cup of coffee and watched the sun rise. When he was making the coffee, he inadvertently made two cups and put sugar in one with no milk. Alec's coffee. He realised his mistake and poured the offending coffee down the drain.
As Magnus watched the sun come up over the horizon he wondered if it would be worth it. If Alec would be worth the sacrifice Magnus wanted to make for him. Somewhere in his heart, Magnus knew the answer already. He was going to make this relationship work.
A/N: There are no words, only tears.