Done, a gilmore girls fanfic

Title: Done

Author: PKNight

Summary: Dean's thoughts.

Spoilers: Whole lotta them, let's see… first season, second season, third season. Especially "They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They?" If you haven't seen that episode, turn back now. And a vague foreshadowing of "A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving."

Disclaimer(s): I don't own Gilmore Girls. I don't own Vertical Horizon. I don't own the song "Everything You Want." I just am borrowing them on a temporary basis (especially since Jess isn't really in this fic…him I'd keep…)

**********

Somewhere there's speaking

It's already coming in

Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind

You never could get it

Unless you were fed it

Now you're here and you don't know why

Oh, they thought they were so discreet. Whispering in what they considered low voices, thinking he couldn't hear them. Well, he could. How could he not hear them? They didn't even bother to do it when he wasn't around. They all thought he was stupid. And blind. And deaf. The town gossips never cared about the people they talked about, just so long as the gossip was juicy. And the town sweetheart dumping the wholesome boy-next-door was as juicy as Stars Hollow got.

It was all her fault, really. He'd been so good to her, as good as he knew to be. But had it been enough for her? She hadn't wanted him; she'd wanted the bad boy. Probably had some stupid wish to reform him, turn him into the kind of guy her mom would like and praise. Like she used to praise him. He gritted his teeth in frustration.

But under skinned knees and the skid marks

Past the places where you used to learn

You howl and listen

Listen and wait for the

Echoes of angels who won't return

And now she was apologizing, saying she'd never meant to hurt him, saying she'd loved him at one point. What point? The beginning? When she'd run away after he professed his love? After, when they'd gotten back together? It was certainly before he had come to town. Sure, she'd loved him. But if even she didn't know when, how was he supposed to?

He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

He says all the right things

At exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you

And you don't know why.

He'd gotten her presents: he'd made her a freakin' car, for God's sake! He'd made friends with her mother, he'd gone to her dance and to her cotillion. What more had she wanted from him? He'd given her books the chances she'd asked him to. It wasn't his fault he wasn't a big reader like some people. Was that more important than the years they'd spent together?

You're waiting for someone

To put you together

You're waiting for someone to push you away

There's always another wound to discover

There's always something more you wish he'd say

He wasn't dumb. He knew that, so did she. But it didn't matter: they had nothing to talk about. The problem was, she only realized it when he came to town. Before that, they'd had conversations that lasted hours. But suddenly she pulled away. It was all his fault.

He didn't know what had gone wrong. No, that was wrong. He knew what it was. Him. Jess. The rebel, the bad boy who came back to a town where everyone hated him. Except one person. And man, did that piss him off. She hadn't hated him. She hadn't admitted to liking him, either, for a long, long time. Until that damn dance marathon. Maybe he could blame Lorelai, since without her prodding, the dance marathon scene never would have happened. But how much longer could he have withstood watching them dance around each other as if he wasn't even there?

But you'll just sit tight

And watch it unwind

It's only what you're asking for

And you'll be just fine

With all of your time

It's only what you're waiting for

She hadn't even noticed it. When she'd begun to stop trying. He'd barely noticed it, when it came to that. Just, suddenly, she wasn't interested any more. She had other things to do: school, homework, the paper, volunteer work, tutoring him. All those things he'd considered minor distractions from their relationship. They'd been conspiring all along to break it to bits.

Out of the island

Into the highway

Past the places where you might have turned

You never did notice

But you still hide away

The anger of angels who won't return

So he was pissed off at her. Probably would be for a very, very long time. She'd done worse than cheating on him; she'd ignored him. Often, and then expected him to always be there when she was ready to pay attention again. Well, forget her. He was moving on.

I am everything you want

I am everything you need

I am everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

I say all the right things

At exactly the right time

But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why

And I don't know why

Why

I don't know.

He was done with her. But he was far from done with him.

**********

Okay, I supposed you're all wondering why I, a die-hard Literati, wrote this semi-sympathetic piece about Dean (and if you didn't get that it was him, you must not watch the show much). Although, reading through this, I see that the song would work just as well for Java Junkies (of which I am also one). However, I wrote it for Dean, and that's that.

The reason is, I was invited out to dinner with some friends of mine, and seeing as how I have no social life, I went. There were three of us there, all girls, and the conversation eventually turned to Gilmore Girls. Now, these girls are not fans in the same sense that I am a fan, because, well, they have lives and other things to spend their time on, which I do not. The point is, no matter how little they watch they show, they're Narcoleptics, and they started talking about how much they liked Dean. (They even said that they thought Jess would only bring trouble to Rory, which means that didn't watch enough to see how very, very much he cares about her.) I admit Dean was nice when they began going out, but after they got together the second time, he got a bit…creepy, in my opinion. Just a little too possessive and controlling. However, he did care about Rory, so…in a salute to the fallen hero, this fic was born.