"Son, go fourth and tell people about my word and judgements, for I am God." Said God.
"No, Dad, wtf? They're just gonna throw shit at me agiam." Replied and angry Jesus.
"Get on your kness and pray for me!" Beloowed God.
"No bitch, I'm gonna play Xbox."
"HOw dare you diobey me!" God cried angstly.
Jesus skipped over to his house when he was greeted by his horryfyc bitch mom.
"Jebus, Did you clean your room and do my dirty landry!" She burped sorrowfully.
"NO! Fukc off mom, your such a jerk."
"Why do you hurt me so baaad?" She creyed fataly.
Jesus then stomped to his ugly room filled with feces and animal corpses. He smeared some mud on the craked up fugly wall and sang.
Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry-
"JEDUS GET YOUR FAT LITTLE PLUMP BUTT DOWN HERE" Screeched Joeseph.
"Mother of temptations!" Angreyed Jesus~!
Jesus flew dow the stairs with his magic powers into the kitchen wher Mary was making sammichs.
"God told me you disobyed him!" His other dad exclaimed abrubtedly with emotion.
"God daggint! I sure as tater fucks did, bitch!" Jesus bumpled.
"Motherfukcer! Don't use those dirty scum devil words!1" Joseph cryd and fell to the ground in deep perspirations.
Jesuse left te house after throwing his smammic at his mother and poopin on the floor. He flewd over to Andrews house to tell him he was a totll dick. He stomped to the wooded stick door and screamed," Andrew fucking give me my guitar pick back bitch!"
"Why in the hell of dicks would I do such detestible ideas of a thing such a sthat? Andrew replied at the door.
"Cus my bitch mom won't buy me a new one, and I lost all my other ones.!' Jesud punched!
"Well fuck off I gave it to fucking Matthew."
"WHAT THE MOTHER OFCOCK DUCKS!1" Jesus punched Anderw in this fucking nippels and he fiantd.
At Mattews shack hole howse that smelled like dog ecxremnt and vomit, Jesus climed thew the window made of twigs and butts.
"Matthew gimme my pick you fuking sag of human balls."
"NO BITCH." Mattwhe bellowd throw the shack. "I ATE IT BITCH BOY."
"No, dammin you to the firey bowles of HELL! I will destroy you!"
Then Jesus summoned God and sent Mathew to hell with all the homosxeuals and hookers.
Then God was like,"Thats the lats time im sendin pepole to hell for you!"
"Whateves buy me a new guitar pick, punk butt."
"k"
SO, later that day Jesus invited his homies for pizza. And they ate they pizza and had heartbun cause Jesus is latcos intolarint. After Jesus shitted all over the room, he said. "Tonight, one of you mother bitchs is gunna betray my ass."
Then he got up and punched Andrew CAUSE HE HATES THAT BITCH MAN.
"Who wants to fukin play Xbox with me?" Jesus repelled.
"I fucking sure as hell do" Said Judas.
"Fuck yes you do! Judas is fucking awesome!" Laughed Jeses.
So Jesus and Judas went to go play Xbox. And then Judas killed Jesuses player.
"WTF? You betrayed my mothertucker!"
"lol" said JUdas.
"I knew it I will smear you with guilt you wrechted scum of Luficer!"
Lol. Judas was a total troll for the rest of the day, because he kicked puppies.
"I brought motherfucking popcorn bitch!' Creyed Thomas!
"Bithc thats fucking kettle corn YOU basted spawn of death!" Yelled Jesus
"LIES OF WITCHES!" Thomas threw the popcorn at Jesuss TV made of rocks and shit.
"You have destryoed my loves!" Jesus teared in pained hearts.
Thomas ran off and punched Andrew in the nipples CAUSE HE IS A MAN DICK!
"Oh my didldo!" Jesus sobbed.
Then Jesus called over some hookers and partyed forever.
And God was so butthurt that he began to starve babies and give everyone AIDS and Cancer.
THE ENED| (OR ISS IT?11! lolol)