The events will not be in the right order. For instance, this is the meeting of the jazz maverick and the beautiful, electro poof/Goth fairy/king of the mods/self-proclaimed prince of Camden, but next chapter might be their birth or death or troubled teenage years. I don't know. We'll see what I feel like writing.
Disclaimer: Isn't mine. The Boosh has the pleasure of being owned by the comedic genius that is Julian Barratt and the sexy, funny, fashion god that is Noel Fielding. Lucky Thing.
I met him when he'd just moved down from Leeds. Just 18 years old and already a jazz freak. AND he had a pathetic excuse for a moustache. I think I was 15, something like that. Anyway, I was on this school trip thing to this zoo (biology study), and that was when I saw him for the first time. He was in a trance, a jazz trance! I was going to go up and try and snap him out of it but the teacher called me along quickly. He found me later, talking to the iguana. He couldn't tell what I was saying though. THANK GOD! I was telling the iguana that I thought this guy was quite sexy. Well, that and how Gary Numan's a pop star but he's got a pilot's licence. I mean, that's a complete icebreaker. But anyway, there I was, and there he was. I suddenly felt an urge to just go over there and snog him. And, well, you know me. I follow my urges.
I got up from where I was crouching. I'm sure I heard the iguana say "go on, do it." So I did. He was so shocked. I wouldn't be surprised if it was even his first kiss. I stopped for a split second, took a pen out of his pocket, wrote my number on his arm and kissed him again. God only knows what we would've ended up doing if my class hadn't chosen that specific point to come through the door.
That was when the bullying started. Most of the guys at my school were pricks, thick pricks, and they couldn't even be dignified about that 'cause, if there's anything worse than a thick prick, it's a thick homophobic prick. They punched me, kicked me, Hurt me. One guy nearly raped me. I fought him off, just, but he still said, "Bet you liked that didn't you, you fucking faggot!"
I went back to the Zooniverse. He found me crying on a bench. I told him everything. I told him my name was Vince Noir. He introduced himself as Howard Moon. Then he said, "Well, there's a job here. You get free accommodation and quite a good wage. GCSE's aren't exactly important anyway." The moment I said, "Okay", was the moment I knew. The moment I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with him.
So what do you think? Should I carry on or shrivel up and die in HELL! Review please. Go on, just click the little button in the corner.