Another Tequila Taz Tuesday had come and gone. All the rangers were still sleeping, strewn about the starship in unlikely places. Krayonder was, of course, wet to the touch with the explosive jelly he and Specs had cooked up the night before. But not only with explosive jelly. He had a faint memory of Specs ripping off her glasses before pouncing down on him to make sweet, soft, savory love with him before playing pokemon. Taz and Drunk Snail were cuddling inside a massive carboard box, and Up had somehow managed to climb on top of the refrigerator and fall asleep curled up in some kind of fetal position.
Apparently February had gotten into the glitter again, and she, Tootsie, and MegaGrill were covered head to toe in it. February had drawn a smiley face in the glitter on Tootsie's stomach. MegaGirl, of course, was the only one awake, because as well all know, she doesn't sleep. She waits. She watched over her rangers from the safety of the toaster, where she sat with it cradled in her arms.
"No one's going to toast me again. Ever," she cooed, twirling the cord in her fingers. Slowly she grabbed a piece of bread from the fridge and placed it inside the machine. Setting the toaster down, MegaGrill sank onto the floor and scooted over to her unconscious Tootise. She pushed February out of the way and lay across him, not minding that glitter was spreading all over her usually stainless white front. "I've made you breakfast, my darling," she hissed with love, poking her nose into his belly button. The country pumpkin stirred, letting out a wild yelp as MegaGrill traced his outie belly button with her tongue.
"Can you put noodles on it?" he asked, as he noticed the piece of bread cooking in the toaster. MegaGrill took a cup of noodles from the cupboard, opened up her chest and set it inside, then set it to cook for three minutes. Once they had finished cooking, she took the cup o' noodles out and opened it up, stuffing the piece of toast inside. "Here you go my love," she whispered, as she handed it to Tootsie. The country pumpkin grabbed the cup of noodles and ate them all up. He ate those noodles so hard. He slurped and slurped and all of his slurping woke up the other rangers. They crawled forth and sat around the coupling robot and pumpkin, merely observing. Finally, a brave soul stuck her head into the fray. It was Taz. She crept forward, knocking the cup o' noodles to the ground. Noodles and soupy wads of toast splattered to the floor.
"This," she slurred. "Is an outrage." She threw her head back and howled. From inside her pants she pulled out a full bottle of tequila. She took and swig and smiled. "Still warm," she noted before thrusting the bottle into Tootsie's mouth. Her hand slid up and down the bottle in a rhythmic motion and she began to hum. "If only you were someone else," she whispered wetly, licking the bottle gently. MegaGrill nodded and latched on to Taz's leg. She began to cry and started to suck Taz's kneecap-because, of course, Taz's cargo pants had been discarded long ago. Her revealed flesh was too tempting for the robot. Taz's pants had been eaten by Drunk Snail. And Up. But Up wasn't interested in getting into Taz's pants, oh no. In his drunken state he had thought he'd seen a flash of orange within Taz's pants. The snap of claws, the swoosh of chelicerae as they swiped through the air. He realized that this wasn't the place that he wanted to be. His heart belonged somewhere else - somewhere far, far away, in a dark hole that smelled of brains and bug sludge. So without further ado, Up hopped on his pegacorn, Concord, and flew off to Bug World. He didn't even bother to get dressed. He didn't need clothes where he was going.
When they landed on Bug World outside Pincer's cave, Up meant to leave Concord outside. The pegacorn was young and innocent and Up didn't want to spoil that. But Concord would have none of it! He followed Up into the lair and after watching his master and his master's arachnid lover go at it for a few hours, joined right in. Up had never felt closer with his pet. Who knew that pegacorns could be so flexible? When they were done they ordered Chinese take out and watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Pincer popped some brains in the microwave and happily crunched on them as he watched. The other rangers back on the starship felt left out so they all flew down to Bug World and participated-in having sex, of course. Ferris Bueller wanted in as well, and so they obliged. Who were they to deny anyone MegaGrill's goodie bags? Up, Concord, and Pincer didn't turn off the movie, but multitasked. After all, Up didn't watch The Karate Kid with Taz (and Pincer) just to watch the movie! No sir. They played checkers as well. Pretty soon everyone got bored so Krayonder pulled out Monopoly. But Tootsie got distracted and began shoving the paper money into Spec's bra-before she took it off. Oh wait. It was never on to begin with. Specs looked down at her bare chest, now covered in paper money. She grabbed a handful of it, and stuffed it down Krayonder's bra in retort. Krayonder looked down at his chest and began to smile and cry at the same time.
"Finally," he murmured thickly, grabbing at his bra with pleasure. "Curves. Like my mother's. I was never a daddy's boy." He curled up into a fetal position and sobbed in earnest. Specs was getting impatient, and promptly flung herself at the country pumpkin, who was busying himself by braiding Up's chest and armpit hair, complete with tiny little silk bows.
"Why, I feel like the purdyest girl at the ball," Up was saying. Of course, when Specs threw herself at Tootsie, the braiding had to stop, which upset Up a little, since only one armpit and half his chest were braided. He pouted for a few moments, and then joined in, licking extra chunky peanut butter off of Tootsie's tummy. February came in singing The Hedgehog Song and dumped a bucket of glitter on them.
Then they all had sex until they died.
The End.