It had been over a week since I was released from custody and freed of the charges held against me for the murder of Mona Vanderwaal. It had been just under two weeks since the girls escaped A's dollhouse. I remember never having been as happy as I was that day. My friends, or, old friends were alive and okay.

None the less, a whole week, and I still could not approach Emily. God I wanted to though. Seeing the pain as our eyes met in the halls or in math class. It hurt. To see her in pain killed me. I was a coward though. I couldn't take it upon myself to go and just say even a simple hello. The silence was deadly.

She had tried, I do not suspect she knows that I know, but I have seen her. She rides her bike to my house, but freezes up before approaching the front door and knocking. God, I wish she would just knock on the damn door.

I toyed with the picture in my hand as I lounged on my bed. It had actually come from A the day after it was taken. It was of Emily and I, in bed, kissing. The memory was painful, but I certainly treasured it. The feel of her lips was still with me. I put the picture in its place under my pillow and stretched.

Moving from the bed to the window, I ran my fingers through my hair as I took it out of the ponytail I had it in. I always loved the way my curls and waves fell so evenly, splayed across my shoulders and back. A bird was flitting between branches when I saw her. There she was, the most beautiful girl in all the world, riding up my drive way. I ran out of my room and down the stairs as fast as I could, almost slipping on the bottom few steps.

I swung open my door, just as she was coming to approach it. I looked at her, from head to toe, admiring the shape and delicate curves of the masterpiece in front of me. My eyes briefly landed on her breasts, god she was so beautiful. I dragged my eyes up to meet her eyes, showing no shame in having so blatantly checked her out.

Her eyes were wide as she stared at me, clearly surprised that I had opened the door, "Hi," she mumbled. She shook her head, gosh she was so adorable, "Look, Alison, Ali, I am so sorry, I-" My hand flew up as I indicated for her to stop.

"Look, Em, don't apologize. Don't you ever apologize for anything; I don't want to hear that. I am the one who should be sorry, who is sorry. I am so sorry," I took a moment to breathe and to think of what I really wanted to say, "Em, Emily…look I am so sorry. I am so sorry for everything. I don't even begin to deserve your forgiveness for leaving you like I did. I was a bitch. But I have changed, I swear it. I miss you, Emily Fields. I miss you every day that you aren't near me. I miss our friendship so damn much every single fucking day, it hurts so much. I know it must come off as really strange that I, Alison DiLaurentis, actually do have feelings and emotions," I paused for another breath, "And that's not even scratching the surface. Emily, you are so special to me. You are everything, you are my âme soeur. I need you. I tried not to need you, because you deserve so much more, you deserve infinitely more than my sorry ass. But I meant everything I said that night. And I am so sorry that I led you to believe that I didn't return your feelings before. I could never admit to myself that I was in love with you, a girl. I am sure you can relate to that. But I can admit it now. I am. I am so in love with Em. Even after all this time of being gone from you. I am in love with you. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I will forever be sorry for ruining any chance at us," I hadn't realized tears had started to trickle down my face, one by one, slowly flowing down my cheeks.

I braved a look at her and she too had tears running down her cheeks, I reached to wipe them away. I flinched away at first, maybe she didn't want me to touch her. She didn't seem too repelled by it, so I dabbed her tears away with my thumbs. She was so beautiful, even with tears streaking down her face.

"Em, I have wanted to fix things with you, to try and talk to you. I have tried to think of what I wanted to say and just what I wanted in general. And I was trying to think of what you would want, would you even want me to talk to you. I thought I should wait for you to make the first move. But I know you've been trying, or at least it seems like you have. I have seen you ride to my house at least three times, but you never knocked. You never said anything to me. Then today, I happened to see you, and I just couldn't wait, Emily. I needed to speak to you. Because I need you," I finished my unexpected monologue.

The silence between us continued to grow, it felt like the air would pop. I was getting worried. Maybe I over stepped some boundaries here, but I just needed to get these words off my chest.

"I don't know if you plan on speaking to me at all, but I would like it if you came inside. I could make us some tea? My dad's not home, so we won't be interrupted or anything. Please?" I begged her.

She only nodded and I moved out of her way to allow her to step in. I wish I knew what was going through her mind as she was being so quiet. I went to the kitchen retrieving the tea tray and some cookies. Carefully balancing the tray, I walked into the living room to find Em holding a picture of me from the summer before I left.

"You were always so beautiful, Alison," She placed the picture back where she got it, and turned to face me, "I think I can talk now."

I sat down the tray and walked over to stand in front of her, grabbing her hand, I led her to the couch so we could at least be almost comfortable during this horribly awkward conversation that was likely going to take place.

I watched her, keeping a straight face. All I wanted right now was to kiss this lovely girl. To kiss her and hold her and make her see how much I actually do care.

"I guess it's my turn for a monologue. Alison, when you left…you broke me. I didn't know what to do. My first love, taken from me in a matter of hours. Do you have any idea what that felt like? To wake up and find that you were gone, nowhere to be seen. That was the worst day of my life, Alison. Nothing that A ever did could compare to the pain of losing you. Nothing could ever hurt as much as thinking that I had lost you for good. It took me a long time you know, to start remembering how to be normal, to remember how to be functional. It took a long time to figure out how to fix myself enough to continue on living. I threw myself into swimming, and that helped, took up a lot of time and frustration. Eventually I was mostly alone. The four of us, we grew apart quite a bit, as you know. Then when I accepted who I really was, I tried dating other people: Maya, Paige, and Talia. Even though I definitely loved them, it wasn't the same. No one has ever compared to my love that I had for you. I don't think anyone ever will," She paused to gather herself, and I had to interject.

"You said loved…as in past tense. Are those feelings, for me, gone?" The hurt was apparent in my voice. I couldn't look at her, I couldn't bear to face the girl who had all the power right now.

She gently grabbed my chin and turned my head so I was looking at her, "Hey, I still love you, Ali. God I love you. I love you so much. Honestly, I don't think there will come a day that Emily Fields does not love her Alison DiLaurentis," She stared at me, harder than ever before. It was as if she was trying to make a decision. She moved her hand from my chin to my cheek and she leaned in closing the distance between us. Her soft, sweet lips meshed against my own. My tongue grazed her lip, pleading for entrance. The kiss deepened as Emily let me in. Our tongues dancing to our own music. My mind was buzzing, I felt like I was literally getting high off of her. If my heart wasn't racing before, it was now. Time must have sped up, because all too soon, she was pulling away.

"Sorry," she breathed.

"Didn't I say not to say sorry to me, Em," I said with a small smile.

"Ali, I don't know where this leaves us. I want to trust you to believe everything you claim now, but god dammit it is so hard. It's so hard to let go of the pain. To let go of that heartbreak," She was starting to get more frustrated.

"I know what I did is unforgiveable. I know it is. I don't really expect you to forgive me, not after that. I do hope you can learn to trust me again. I promise, no more lies. No more running away. You're my everything, Emily, and I will do whatever it takes to make you see it," I proclaimed with confidence, "I agree though, I don't know where this leaves us either. It's honestly up to you, I want whatever you want, whatever makes you happy. That is all that matters to me, Em. I just need you to be happy again. And if I can help make you happy, then I would certainly prefer that, but if I would make things worse then…" I trailed off, not wanting to face the reality of what that would mean if she didn't want me.

It would make sense for her to want me to leave her alone, even if she does love me still, it would make sense. All I have ever done is hurt her it seems.

She nodded and said, "If you can promise to be honest, I think we can try this. I'm terrified, but I want you, that's all I have ever wanted," she finished looking at her hands.

Time was passing so fast now, surely she would want to leave soon. I don't think I could stand watching her walk away from me just yet, things are still so shaky.

"My dad won't be home tonight, so would you want to stay for dinner?" I looked at her with hopeful eyes, "I could cook for you, and we could maybe watch a movie? I think maybe some together time, just being together could help. But I mean if you aren't up to it…" I trailed off, hopeful that she would take me up on the offer.

She stared into my eyes for a long while before nodding and giving me one of those infamous Emily Fields smiles. It was contagious, I couldn't help but smile back.

I jumped up and trotted into the kitchen, I knew just what I would cook for my mermaid.

She was right behind me and settled herself onto one of the benches at the island counter.

I busied myself around the kitchen, preparing a meal that I had seen on the food network of a restaurant in Paris, maybe I was pushing it, bringing Paris into things, but I'm sure she will like it all the same. This was supposed to be a very popular dish, and we both love scallops.

She didn't speak while I rushed around preparing our dinner, she just watched me. She watched my every move. I didn't look at her, but I could feel her eyes following me. I hope she was enjoying what she was seeing.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked her. The quiet was making me more nervous.

"The honest answer? I am thinking about you. Our past, our present, our…I don't know. There's a lot to think about, ya know? I enjoy watching you cook, you look happy," She spoke softly, barely above a whisper.

I wondered what she had been about to say when she trailed off, maybe she was going to say our future, which would be the logical assumption. I turned to face the beautiful girl, after placing the meal in its final stage of preparation. "I wish I hadn't messed up, Em. I will never regret anything as much as I regret hurting you," I shook my head, trying to think positive for her, "And I am not usually this enthused about cooking, but I happen to be cooking for the most beautiful girl in Rosewood, so that is definitely a mood enhancer." I winked and leaned over the counter across from her, "What kind of movie do you want to watch later?"

She was blushing, I really enjoyed that sight. Emily blushing was definitely at the top of my list of favorite things. I couldn't help but shake my head and smile, it was so strange to think this beautiful girl that I loved but didn't deserve was sitting in my kitchen, blushing at something I had said.

"You're perfect, you know that?" I said, as I began to turn around to check on the food. Before I could turn around, she had grabbed my shoulder and was pulling me towards her and before I knew it she was barely an inch away from me, her eyes staring intently into my own. I closed the gap after some hesitation that I dismissed. I pressed my lips against hers, we moved together in a way that was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Her soft lips fit perfectly against my own. She was perfect for me.

I pulled back after a few moments, she made a slight noise of objection, and I ran my thumbs over her cheekbones as I pulled away. I didn't have enough self-control to be that close to her right now. I winked at the beautiful girl in front of me and hit the timer right before it beeped.

"Hey, Em, could you go upstairs to my room and choose some movies to watch?" I asked her as she watched me taking the food out.

With Emily out of the kitchen I could finally breathe again, this girl is going to be the end of me. I took the time that she was upstairs to light some candles and place the vase of flowers I filled yesterday on the table. I dimmed the lights and set the plates out, presenting the food in an elegant manner as French food should be served.

I grabbed two glasses from the cabinet and set them on the table. I sat us next to each other as opposed to across from each other, hoping she wouldn't mind.

Emily came down the stairs and I placed myself next to the island, leaning casually, hopefully appealingly. As she entered the kitchen, I saw in her hands not only a couple of movies, but the picture of us that I kept under my pillow. I couldn't read the expression on her face. She looked up at me started to ask a question before she noticed the change in scenery.

I took a few steps towards her and took the movies and picture from her and placing them on the counter before grabbing her hands and leading her to her seat.

"I haven't poured the drinks yet, because I don't know what to choose. The meal was served with a wine on the TV but we don't have to drink if you don't want to," I explained.

"I would like a glass of wine, if you don't mind. It might help take the edge off, ya know…" she looked at the empty glass.

Her wish was my command at this point, I made my way to the cabinet and reached for the top shelf wine, the good stuff. I could feel her watching me again, her eyes tracing my body as I stretched.

I hadn't heard her approach me, but her hands on my waist caused a squeal to escape my lips and that produced a chuckle from her.

"Let me help you, which one are you trying to reach?" She looked up at the shelf which was a lot closer to her than to me, "Um, the middle one I think," I watched as she reached the bottle with ease.

She handed the bottle to me and leaned in closer, "Nice tattoo by the way, I like it," I felt the blush creep onto my cheeks. I had gotten a tattoo on my lower back of a capital E in script, surrounded by butterflies, because she gave me butterflies.

"Thanks, for the bottle, and I am glad you like the tattoo. I got it with you in mind," I told her.

"Why the butterflies?" She inquired.

"Because you give me butterflies, Em," I answered while I busied myself pouring the wine.

I sat down next to her, "Bon appétit, beautiful," I said as I began to eat the scallops.

She was quiet again, but she chewed the food with a pleasant expression.

"This is really good Ali, you're a great cook," She smiled over at me, her hair falling in her face.

I pushed her hair behind her ears and smiled, "Thanks Em, I'm glad you like it. I haven't cooked for anyone in a long time, I'm glad it's you that got me back in the kitchen," I ran my hand delicately down her jaw, letting my hand fall into place.

We ate the rest of the meal in silence, but we were slowly gravitating towards each other. Our knees were touching now and we were about as close as we could be without sharing a seat. We finished about the same time and I stood and gathered the dishes and carried them to the sink.

"Can I help you? I can dry," She asked.

"Yeah, if you want," I answered with a smile.

"So, where did that picture come from, why do you have it?" Emily asked calmly, I had wondered when she was going to bring it up.

"A gave it to me, the next day. I have it because despite the creepy story behind its existence, I like the picture. It's helped me get by since then…we look so in love in the picture, Em. I just really appreciate the beauty of it," I explained and picked it up to look at it.

I loved the way her hands are in my hair and there's a smile on my face, anyone could see the love there. I slid the picture into the movie case and looked at the movie she had chosen. Of course it was "Great Expectations."

I looked at her and smiled, grabbing her hand I pulled her into the living room with me. I closed the curtains and grabbed some blankets and extra pillows from the linen closet down the hall. This was going to be a cozy movie night. We took opposite ends of the sofa as we prepared to watch the movie. To be honest I was exhausted, I didn't think I would last that long into the movie. It was about halfway in that I must have fallen asleep.

I awoke out of the first peaceful night of sleep I had in a long time, the first time since that last night that I slept with her. I reached for my phone on the arm of the sofa. It was three in the morning. I tried to move my other hand, but looking down I saw Emily curled into my side. Last I saw she had been on the other end, as far from me as she could possibly get. I bent down and kissed the top of her head, slowly rotating my body so that I was holding her, with her on the inside of the sofa. This was bliss, if anything.

I thought the movement had awoken her. Her eyes were darting under her eye lids. Her face was contorted with despair. Her mouth was moving, as if she was mumbling something. With a whimper, she called out for me, "Alison? Alison! Come back…don't leave me. I love you." My beautiful girl went quiet and I thought she had reverted back to peaceful sleeping, but she was not done speaking yet, "Alison…I love you. I trust you. I will always be your mermaid. Promise me you won't leave again?"

I don't know for sure when I started crying. But I watched over my beautiful girl, "I'm not going anywhere honey, I promise. I love you," With that said, I planted a kiss on her forehead and pulled her closer to me. The whimpering stopped and her demeanor changed into a peaceful sleep again.

Emily was dreaming about me, about wanting me. I nuzzled close to her with a smile on my face and closed my eyes, hoping to get some more sleep.

I awoke some time later to find Emily curled against me and now awake and staring at me.

"Morning, beautiful," I said staring sleepily into her eyes.

She smiled and stretched up to kiss me once, then twice, then three times and it was a deep and passionate kiss.

When she finally broke away she was looking at me with an intense expression around her eyes, "I was so worried I would wake up and yesterday would be a nightmare and that you would be gone and that I would wake up alone and as an empty shell again, like so many times before, I love you, Alison," She kissed me softly this time.

"I will never leave you again, sweetheart, never again. Not after you begged me to stay in your sleep," I laughed and winked then kissed her perfect lips again.

"I talked in my sleep? Are you serious? Oh my gosh, I am so embarrassed! I'm so sorry!" She was blushing and burying her face in my chest.

I stroked her hair and smiled at how cute she was being. She may not realize it, but I am definitely under her spell.

"I think I could lay here forever with you in my arms, and I would never have another want in this world," I whispered to the beauty wrapped in my embrace.