A.N.: So, I cannot still my Skyeward heart, and this is my attempt to reconcile it with what's going on in the actual show. I took some liberties with timeframes, transcription, and this will likely be A/U from 2x14 "Love in the Time of Hydra". But if you'd like to see a spin on SHIELD, please enjoy...

Prologue

I know that I'm a sociopath. I also know not many people would believe that, would think I'm just playing them again. I know it, I accept it. I have to accept it - myself, even - when no one else can. I see the world, feel things, I just can't make the two match. The closest I've ever gotten to that peace, that synchronicity is when I look at her.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that she's not human. For someone as fractured and tainted as I am, it would take someone not human to make me fall.

Why can't anyone understand that? I'm a specialist. My brain isn't wired like theirs. I'm trained differently, bred differently, even. I know my family looked like the Rockefellers, but behind closed doors, they were just as sick and twisted as they made me. Maybe I can't express it, I can't explain myself, but it's because it was long ago beaten out of me. I didn't think the damn cube would sink, and I'm willing to bet Fitz could have found another way out of there, if he hadn't been so wrapped up in saving Simmons. But who would believe me now?

"Skye."

Seeing her there, knowing that it may very well be the last time I ever see her…So many things I could say, things I want to explain to her, but…

That time has passed. If Simmons had her way, I'd be dead at the bottom of the ocean. The little boy standing beside a well that still lived inside of me thought it'd be appropriate.

Who knew it would take four bullets to wake me up?

And when will I stop wondering why one of them wasn't a shot to the head?

Chapter 1

Ward grabbed Agent 33's hand up into the chopper, wincing. Take it as the compliment it is, damn it, she could've aimed for your thick skull, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Christian's hissed to him. Well no shit, but that only made everything more confusing.

Agent 33 turned to him. "Where are we going?"

Ward took an unsteady breath and gave her coordinates. "I have my own safehouse there, if you can handle field medic."

She nodded.

"Good," he managed. "Then get us there, and while you're at it, want to tell me your real name?"

"Agent 33," she bit out. She turned her attention back to the controls as Grant's vision started to fade to black.

Skye bolted upright in her bed. What - where am I. She looked around and frowned at the glass. "Guys? Hello? Since when did my bunk go peep show?"

"Skye!" Simmons smiled from the other side of the barrier. "We have to follow protocol but...oh, I'm so glad you're awake." She put her hand to the glass. "Let me get a suit and I'll be in there to hug you."

Protocol. Right. Skye blew out a breath. "Quarantine protocol. The 084. The Obelisk." She froze. "Raina. Where - what happened to - no." It swept through her in a rush and she shook her head. "No. No, that - Trip - Simmons, just...just please tell me...tell me no…" She kept whispering "no, no, no," shudders wracking her. "Please…"

Simmons swallowed. "Let me get that suit, Skye." She pressed her hand harder to the glass before turning away.

"No…" Skye sank to the floor, shuddering harder. "Please…"

A month later

"You like fried chicken? Ours is the best in the county." Rhonda smiled at the couple in front of her. Poor girl, she looked like she got burned in a fire or something, half of her face shrouded by her hair. What a good man to stick by her side, when he could obviously have any woman he wanted.

"Oh, I - I'm not sure," Agent 33 stammered. "I - I guess I need another minute."

"Of course," Rhonda assured her. "And what about you, handsome?"

"Think I'll try the pumpkin pancakes," Grant Ward replied with a grin.

"Ooh, good choice," Rhonda complimented. "How about I grab you some pecan syrup while your friend makes up her mind?"

"Hmm. Pumpkin pancakes for dinner?" Agent 33 questioned.

"Did you not hear what she said about the pecan syrup?" Ward teased.

"Well, you are just full of surprises," 33 replied.

"Hey, I tried being the meat-and-potatoes guy," he explained.

"Well, I didn't know that guy...but the guy sitting across from me isn't so bad."

"Says the girl who saved my ass back in Puerto Rico, nursed me back to health…"

"Well, what else was I going to do?" 33 shook her head. "After Whitehall was killed I was just...lost."

"Then I guess we're both lucky you found me." And I'm sorry that I'm using you. Ward kept the smile on his face. I'm not going to be like Garrett, though, I'm going to fix you. To use you like I need to, I have to fix you and fix me and then maybe…"Looks like we're a go." Ward allowed a bit of his actual frustration to show. "I was really looking forward to those pancakes."

Skye struggled to hide a sigh. "It's okay, Fitz," she said quietly. "You don't have to put a positive spin on this."

"I'm not doing that. I would never patronize the -" Fitz shook his head as Skye and Simmons both looked at him. "Well the - things change. That's what I'm saying. So maybe if you can learn to control this, then...you could have Avengers-level powers," he continued hopefully. "Something like Captain America, even."

"I think it best we keep in mind the unstable nature of Skye's powers," Simmons said, smiling tightly. "If there is an Avenger equivalent, right now I'm afraid it's the Hulk," Simmons clarified flatly.

Skye struggled to keep herself calm as Fitz and Simmons sniped at each other. Like it isn't bad enough that I have powers I can't control, they're fighting about me, in front of me, acting like it's not me they're talking about...She fought back a cry of frustration as everything started to shake again.

"I'm sorry, Skye," Fitz fumbled out.

"This really isn't about you," Simmons offered.

"I'm pretty sure it is," Skye murmured darkly. "I'll go back to the cage." She stood and stalked away, leaving Fitz and Simmons staring after her.

The cage. My cage, now. Not Ward, not my father, but me. I'm the one trapped, the one everyone is looking at...She bit her lip hard, clenching her fists and blowing out harsh breaths as she felt the fine bones of her forearms shift and break again.

Even with all his training, Ward shifted anxiously as the doctor worked on 33's nanomask. This has to work. It has to. Everything depends on it. He blew out a breath as the tools moved closer to her face, the circuits and mesh reknitting.

The doctor ran Agent 33 through a series of diagnostics while Ward calculated the rest of the operation.

"Well then I guess it's fair to say that we all hide our true selves, don't we?"

"Or we just...wait for the right time to reveal the truth." If you only both of you understood how true that is...Ward met the doctor's gaze steadily as the subtext registered. Agent 33 stood behind Ward as the specialist took over.

It was always a shame that other people couldn't be trusted. But if Garrett taught me anything, it's that anyone would talk about anything, given the proper pressure.

I know all about that. And this operation is too precious to jeopardize.

Would anyone understand the fine line I have to walk to be enough of a bad guy to fix things, but enough of a good guy to maybe have a chance? Give me a chance to reveal my truth, Skye. You didn't kill me, and that has to be for a reason.

"I'm sorry about everything that's happening, Skye." Coulson's face was remorseful as he gazed at her.

Skye shot him a sour look. "Not your fault. The blame begins and ends with my dad." All other scores are settled, now...She stared hard across the plane.

"Well, you wouldn't be the first person to have parents with misguided intentions," Coulson returned.

She fought back the snicker. "Nope, just the first whose crazy dad lured her to an alien city to get earthquake powers." That makes anything anyone else has done seem...reasonable.

They exchanged a look.

"Yeah." Coulson gave a short laugh that made it clear to Skye how worried he actually was. "I got us a little something for the trip," he offered, reaching into his bag to pull out some licorice.

Skye bit into it, grateful to have something else to do besides think about her fate. As Coulson told his story, she tried to get her bearings, tried to sense where they were going. When he stopped, she took the opportunity to steer the conversation. "Just to be clear, I - I'm the Corvette in this story, right?" Coulson's smile was her answer as she continued. "Now you want to tell me where we're going?" Is the cage too close, or is this more permanent than a cage?

"We're almost there," was Coulson's only answer.

Not reassuring.

Ward smiled as he tossed his quarry onto the bed, opening the envelope to confirm their contents. Closer and closer to what I need, to where I need to be.

"Have a seat. I'll be right in," 33 called from the bathroom.

He sniffed the air and smiled wider. "What have you done?" he murmured. He smoothed down his tie and sat at the table. Initiative. A sign of recovery.

"When you left, it got me thinking..." Her voice drifted closer.

Confidence. Next order of business. He turned to let her make whatever move she had in mind.

"What do I have to offer that you would even want?" she questioned.

Ward closed his eyes as she started to massage his shoulders. A show of trust. He even gave a low hum of pleasure to encourage her. She's like a kicked puppy sometimes...As she slid to sit in his lap, he smiled. Not so much anymore, it seems.

"Surprise," she whispered.

Ward opened his eyes. Skye. His heart pounded as she leaned in to kiss him. Skye...He closed his eyes and kissed her back, his hands roaming a body that - Not right, not right at all, you know it, damn it, just - He pushed her away more gently than his gut wanted him to. Can't shove her away like that, can't lose her now. "Wait. Wait. What are you doing?"

"I'm giving you what you want," she said breathlessly, her hands still trying to pull him closer.

Skye...He shuddered as that voice, those words, sent electricity through his body. Not Skye. Not really Skye. She leaned in to kiss him again and he ducked away. "You're wrong," he countered. You couldn't begin to guess how wrong.

"We both know that's not true," 33 challenged.

Yes, we do. Grant looked down before he gave himself away.

"You took Skye off that S.H.I.E.L.D. plane for a reason," she continued.

Of course I did. He looked into Skye's face and fought not to take what 33 offered. "I made her a promise," he corrected.

"You don't have to pretend," she persisted. She stroked his face with soft fingertips.

He focused on his breathing and ducked his head.

"I saw the way you looked at her." She moved to try to catch his eye.

"And you also picked me up off the floor after she shot me." Ward pushed her off and walked away. I can't have her that warm and that close with that voice and that face…He channeled his frustration into a facsimile of anger. "Whatever I may have thought there was between me and Skye, she made it pretty clear the feeling wasn't mutual." Except she didn't take a kill shot when I know she absolutely could...He blew out a breath as he looked at her and away again. "I'm not insane." I'm not. She let me live...He let his gaze wander the room, exasperation rolling from him in waves. And that's why I can't let you try that trick again.

"Uh, I'm...sorry," 33 said quietly, wrapping her robe tighter and higher around her. "Please, you have to forgive me." She stalked past him. "This is so stupid."

Ward reached for her as she fussed in the mirror. "It's okay," he reassured her. Balance of power achieved.

33 sighed. "I - I ju - I thought that if...I looked like her, then maybe…" She touched her face softly. "Maybe there's a chance we could be together."

Ward shook his head. "Well, maybe we could." He touched her hair lightly. "But not as Skye or May." Wrong kind of confidence and initiative. We'll fix that. He wrapped his hands around her upper arms and shook his head again. "No, it has to be with you."

The tears in her eyes told Ward he'd said just the right thing. "Me?"

He nodded, letting his face soften to a smile. "Yeah."

"There is no me," she protested.

How can you say that? He looked at her incredulously. If you only knew what it was to have your soul crushed by someone who was supposed to love you...how much worse it could be...

"Whoever I was before is just gone!" she ranted, smashing a vase against the wall. "Whitehall wiped her all away."

Ward struggled for words. This is not what I wanted, not how I wanted this to go...He sighed in frustration as she walked away. What better way to make her open up than to share...He followed her across the room, sitting on the edge of the bed as she tried to find her equilibrium again. "I know what you're going through." Though you'll never understand what I've survived..."My family did a number on me. Stripped me down, left me...hollow. I was a shell." He held her gaze for a beat. Ward could tell he'd shocked her by his confession, the tears shining in her eyes but not falling. "So when someone finally did come along and offered to build me back up, I didn't resist." He shook his head as he remembered, tapping into the confusion and hurt that seemed so far away. "Even though what he really did was make me a killer."

"But you seem so well-adjusted," 33 said uncertainly.

It took him a moment to school his features back into the good-natured mentor. "It was a long road." If you only knew..."Took getting locked up to give me some perspective." No more blindly following someone or something, I'm in control now..."But then I paid my family a visit." I think you could call it that..."They were..." He exhaled as he searched for the right word. "...surprised to see me, but I think eventually, we were able to...dig in, really...express our feelings."

"That's it?" 33 looked hopeful for the first time since the mask had been repaired.

That and a whole lot of explosives. It definitely demonstrated how I felt. He made sure his smile was easy, genuine as he could make it. "I haven't looked back since." Even if I did, I would only have seen the smoldering ruins of the Ward family, finally showing the rot at the core. He stood and sat next to 33 on the bed, taking her hand. "You are the only one that can find yourself." I'll just help you steer. "But maybe..." He reached behind him for the manila envelope he'd returned with. "...this will help." He handed it to 33.

"What is it?" she asked uncertainly.

"Closure," he replied. For you, and the beginnings of it for me...

She opened it, her gaze darting to his and away as she reached in. "Sunil Bakshi."

"He's in Air Force custody under a guy named Talbot." Two of my favorite people in one place..."I was thinking you and I should stop by and say hello."

Anger slowly threaded through her voice as she remembered. "Bakshi was the one who dragged me from my safe house, prepped me for Whitehall -"

"Which is why you need a face to face," Ward insisted. "To get all this out. Let him know -" Grant pointed to the picture again, stoking her rage. "- how you really feel."

"I - I - I'm sorry, I just, I can't -" 33 set the picture aside, panic rolling from her in waves.

Too hard too soon. He wondered if his own psyche was ever that fragile. "Hey. It's okay," Ward assured her. "We'll do this together." But we will do it, damn it. "I'll be there every step of the way."

She looked at him and down at the bed, fear still lingering around her. "Okay," she agreed quietly.

"Okay," he repeated with a smile. If there was a hint of triumph to it, it was only because he knew with certainty what was to follow.

"But how?" she asked. "You said he's in Air Force custody."

"Got that all worked out." He stood and rounded the bed to the garment bag he'd brought back along with the Bakshi intel. "First," he reached in to pull out the small box inside. "You're gonna need this." He flipped open the ring box to reveal the fake wedding band within. He saw the look on her face and smiled. This is going to be fun.

Skye looked around as Coulson opened the door to let them into the cabin in the woods. Because this isn't the beginning of a creepy horror science fiction movie at all.

Coulson dropped their bags and started to speak again. "It's one of Fury's old retreats. Haven't been in here in years."

Skye scoffed. "Fury's not the kind of guy who has a cabin just to relax. What is this place?"

"It's a safe house for people with powers," Coulson explained. "Rogers even spent a few weeks here after he defrosted."

A safe house, huh? She raised a brow. "Okay, but who's it supposed to keep safe, the people with powers...or everyone else?"

Coulson, to his credit, answered bluntly. "Both." He sighed. "Skye, I'm afraid I have to pull you from active duty."

And there it is. Skye nodded before responding. "I get it. I do. I just didn't think that you'd lock me up like a werewolf during full moon."

Coulson shook his head. "You're not alone here."

Skye glanced around. Really? "Feels pretty isolated to me."

"There's a direct video link to the base, and May will keep dropping by every couple of days," he insisted.

Skye rolled her eyes. Solitary confinement with TV and visiting hours. "What am I supposed to do? Go fishing?"

"Well, if you do go outside, be careful. There's a laser fence around the perimeter," he explained.

Skye could only stare.

"Look, this is a safe place. You can relax here," Coulson urged. "You can use this time to get a handle on your abilities."

"Yeah, 'cause that's worked great so far," she retorted. I thought I was getting a handle on them. Instead they were getting a handle on me...

"Well, maybe it's time we give you a hand with that." Coulson walked back to the table, opening the case he'd brought in. "Simmons has been working around the clock on these. She assures me they'll cut your recovery time in half."

Skye picked one up, running her hands over the material. "How do they work?"

"The internal wiring emits a surge of electricity to inhibit your powers," he explained.

Inhibit my - "So these take my powers away?" Skye looked at him, a mix of hope and skepticism in her eyes. If I put these on, can I just get back on the jet and go home?

Coulson clarified, "More like decrease their magnitude to keep you from hurting yourself." He continued matter of factly. "Like I said, we want you to heal."

"Seems like a no-brainer," Skye offered. Wear the gloves, stop hurting, pretend none of this ever happened...

"It's a personal call," he replied.

A personal call...Skye's optimism started to fade. "What do you mean? Are there side effects?"

"A few," he admitted. "Simmons can go over them with you later."

It's tech for people with powers...of course there are side effects. She looked at him. "Are these gloves really my best option?"

Coulson only gave another pursed lipped look. "I can't answer that question for you, Skye."

"Stop," she burst out. "Stop being this S.H.I.E.L.D. guy for just one second, okay? Please." The panic started to surge, everything starting to vibrate within her. "We've been through way too much together. I just need you to be my friend right now. What would you do if you were me?"

"I don't know," he confessed. "These are uncharted waters, but if anybody can find a way through them, it's you," Coulson assured her.

Tears sprang to her eyes, her chest tight. I'm going to be here, alone, and I don't know if those gloves will help or hurt and I'm just supposed to figure it all out? "'Cause I'm the red Corvette." At my core, I'm still human. That's the lesson, right?

Coulson met her gaze steadily, with certainty in his voice as he replied. "Because you're one of the few people I know I can trust."

Ward monitored comms over the guard's shoulder while "Mrs. Talbot" made her way through the compound, breathing deeply as all went to plan. Talbot will call Coulson, and while he may not know it's me, he'll know...

"Thanks for the update, Mack." Coulson ended the call with a grim look.

Skye frowned. "Is everything okay?"

Coulson took a breath. "I'm afraid I have to get back."

Skye buried the disappointment. Years in the foster care system are good for something, right? "I get it. Didn't expect you to stay and roast marshmallows." Even though that would at least make me feel human...

"This is temporary, Skye," Coulson reminded her. "I'll be back in a couple days. If you need anything ..."

If I need anything, I'll have to wait for someone to come back and care...Skye held her tongue. "I'll let you know."

Sighing, Coulson pulled her in for a hug. "We'll figure this out. I promise."

Skye nodded, holding on to the last physical presence she had until he pulled away. 'We' or me?

Ward rolled the fallen soldier under the security desk, pulling his knife as a male soldier approached. You couldn't have just believed I was here to help...if you had just gone down the hall, I wouldn't have had to kill you...When the door simply closed, he smirked. "Uniform's a little big."

33 gave him a smug look. "Shortest guy I could find. Any luck with security clearance?"

Ward held up the key card he'd lifted from the body at his feet.

33 smiled. "Come on. Follow me."

Sunil Bakshi looked up at the sound of the keys. "What is it you want?"

Ward watched as 33 let her face morph to May's again.

Bakshi's face lit up. "Agent 33," he murmured, standing. "Loyal to the very end."

Oh, loyal she is, Bakshi. Ward stepped into view. But thanks to your ineptitude that loyalty doesn't belong to you anymore...

Bakshi's gaze shot to Ward. "What are you doing here?"

Ward shrugged, wheeling in the wheelchair. "Just lending a hand."

Bakshi's attention shot back to 33. "Whose orders are you following?"

She smiled with relish. "My own."

Bakshi's expression was urgent, with a hint of panic as he spoke. "Agent 33, you need to listen to me very carefully. You've lost your way. Take a deep breath. Calm your mind... and your compliance will be -"

Agent 33 clocked him, waiting until he fell to nod to Ward.

He wheeled closer with a smile. Gotcha. Both of you.

"Agent 33 infiltrated your base to break out Sunil Bakshi?" Coulson and May stood side by side as Talbot spoke from the screen.

"Turns out she wasn't working alone, either," the general continued. "We managed to track down video of the vehicle leaving the premises." He locked eyes with Coulson. "Guess who was behind the wheel."

Coulson waved a hand.

"Grant Ward," Talbot supplied.

"Agent 33 must have dragged him out of Puerto Rico," May murmured.

"Guessing we haven't heard the last of this," Coulson replied.

Grant Ward stepped back and considered his - their - handiwork in the middle of the room. Just a couple of hiccups, but otherwise exactly according to plan. He rubbed a hand over his ribcage.

33 stared at the mirror and touched the side of the mask, faces scrolling away until her own, burned as it was, remained. She took a shaking breath.

That's my cue. Ward crossed the room to stand behind her in the mirror.

"Nice to finally meet you," he murmured. He waited until she turned around, holding out a hand. "I'm Grant."

"Kara," she replied softly, shaking his hand.

He smiled. "I'm proud of you, Kara." You have been exactly what I hoped for.

She threw her arms around him. "Thank you so much," she managed, tears lacing her voice.

Grant squeezed her arms as she released him. "You did this," he insisted. "And it is just the beginning."

She nodded, her eyes bright. "Guess that's true. It's going to be a long night. "

"Guess we should get started, then." They both turned back to their captive. Grant started to roll up his sleeves. "You really think this'll work?"

"We'll see," Kara answered, ripping the tape from Bakshi's mouth.

Bakshi groaned. "If I obey, will my compliance be rewarded?" he pleaded.

Kara leaned closer, a dark satisfaction in her gaze. "To be honest, it really won't make a difference."

Grant sat back, watching her. But it will make a difference to you, Kara...Maybe one of us can have a chance at not being a monster after all of this. He kept the smile on his face as Raina's voice hissed at him, of he and Skye being monsters together. What happened to you, Skye? What did you become?

Kara smiled and nodded at Ward. "Let's begin."

His programming was easier than either Kara or I anticipated. I suppose someone so arrogant would never have the core of strength that she or I had, that core that came of bitter hardship and sheer force of will. He folded, and he molded, and we're ready for the next phase.

Imagine my surprise when Coulson showed up. It was almost more than I could've hoped for.

Almost.

How the hell did he manage to lose Skye?

A.N.: And now, I wait for the next ep. If anyone enjoyed this, please let me know! And either way, thanks for reading.