Story of my life

A/N: Before anyone breaths fire down my neck, this is a crackfic, it's meant to be silly and funny and nowhere near my usual (more serious) stories. Okay, everyone on the same page? Good, read on, have fun and remember: laughter makes life longer and more pleasurable. xoxo Tiger

Chapter 1

The day was perfectly hot and sunny, a normal late spring day in Virginia. The yellow cab rolled leisurely through the town until it pulled in front of a villa. A man in his early thirties got out of the cab and after getting all his luggage he sighed happily.

"It's good to finally be home after that 2 weeks business trip! The TeleCom satellite wasn't going to launch itself"

His musings were interrupted by a knockout woman stepped out of the house with a big smile on her face. Her waist long, raven black hair was done in thick curls that clogged his face as she jumped in his arms.

"Welcome home"

"It's great to be back, Katherine"

"Elijah, it's been three since we started seeing each other. It's time we made it official. I planned our wedding while you were away. I bought a lovely wedding arch wit your titanium card"

Katherine gushed. Elijah mouth fell more and more open to the point he ended up resembling a shark out of the water.

"This is way too fast for me Katherine. We've only been seeing each other for 3 weeks and I've been away for two of them. Maybe we should take some time off"

He said with one breath, hoping he'd make his girlfriend see reason. He liked her, kinda, but not that much. Obviously though Katherine got mad and began shouting

"Time OFF!? I was ready to MARRY you. I thought you loved me! You'll come to realize what HUGE mistake you've just made... I PROMISE!"

She screamed right before she stormed away and into the cherry red cabrio car that glistened under the rays of the sun in his driveway.

"Is she crazy?"

Elijah asked the heavens before he towed his bags inside the large house. He was surprised to see that his villa was filthy. There was thrown stuff around, smoke was coming from his kitchen even if the smoke alarms were silent and there were plates everywhere with decaying food that had attracted the entire bee and fly population of Mystic Forks.

"This is a health violation waiting to happen"

The raven haired man growled under his breath and tossing his suit jacket on a fairly clean sofa, he raised his sleeves and began cleaning. Well... he tried to. The mess was so bad that he gave up when an hour had passed but it had made no difference in the living room.

"Yeah... this isn't working"

He pulled out his cell phone having no idea where the house phone was and called information.

"Hello, I'd like the number for cleaning services... House cleaning, yes... Maids R Us?... Yes, I'd like it if you connected me, thank you"

With that done he went back out to the garden and felt like crying when he saw that the flowers he loved so much were buried under weeds. Having no place to sit, he sat on the steps of the porch like a scolded child to wait for the holy maid.

Thankfully he didn't have to wait long before a simple white van pulled in his private road and a cute brunette girl stepped out of it.

"Mr. Mikaelson? I'm Angela, the agency sent me"

"Nice to meet you Angela"

"Could you show me where everything is so I can get started?

"Definitely"

Elijah guided the girl through his villa and winced as a mask of shock and disgust slipped on her face before a professional facade of calm poorly covered it.

"Big party?"

She asked as she gathered her supplies. Elijah blushed

"I have no idea. I was away and my brother was supposed to housesit"

"That never goes well"

Angela dead panned before she began quickly and professionally to clear out all the junk. Elijah was stunned to see how quickly and easily the order was restored at least on the surface.

His musings were interrupted as his brother stepped through the door and seemed more than a little shocked to see Elijah there, frowning at him.

"Brother, back so soon? I was going to clean up and everything. Sorry about the mess"

Klaus lamented quickly. The two were the same age and very close but while Klaus could go for days without caring for the level of cleaning ness in his own villa. Unfortunately Elijah was almost anal about how clean his house was and would never leave a dirty plate if he could.

Except he now was too annoyed with the wedding arch sitting innocently in his deck at the back of the house to care about the filthy house. Well... the maid was there.

"Don't worry about it, Klaus. Meet Angela. She's the maid cleaning up your house sitting. She's also off limits"

He rained on his slightly younger brother's parade. Klaus was famous for reacting first and caring later about the consequences.

"So... why did you let Katherine put up that wedding arch in my yard? That really freaked me out. We just broke up over it"

Klaus hid a smirk and put an utmost expression of innocence in his face

"She had this crazy look in her eye and that big smile on her face. There was no way I was going to mess with her. She was scarier than Dad"

Elijah could hardly hold in a snort before Klaus continued.

"Look on the bright side. I bought you an awesome new computer. Just don't ask don't ask about your old computer"

Elijah shook his head at stopping to try and fight the smile off his face at the flat box with the abnormally big red bow on, his brother handed him.

"You're not forgiven, you know"

"Yeah. I promise the next time you meet a girl, I'll try to steal her away"

Rolling his eyes Elijah pushed his brother away. Klaus retaliated by attacking his brother and the two soon were a mess of legs and arms as they fought like kindergarteners.

Angela who was coming out of the kitchen rolled her eyes at their antics.

"Boys will be boys"