Disclaimer: Sometimes, I wish that it was obvious to all that I wasn't trying to claim ownership of Torchwood. These disclaimers get boring. For the record, I do not own Torchwood.

*.*.*

Jack was used to Ianto's sleeplessness. They'd been sleeping together for what felt like a lifetime, so he'd better be. They normally slept at Ianto's flat, though, where there was a big, inviting bed to sprawl out on. Here, in his cramped bunker, every restless movement Ianto made woke him.

After an hour of it, he gave up sleeping as a bad job.

"What's got you so wound up?"

Ianto nearly jumped out of his skin, banging his shin on the ladder. "Jesus, Jack."

He suppressed a chuckle. "Come on, then. Out with it."

"It's stupid."

"It usually is."

Jack felt, rather than saw, Ianto's glare.

"I was…I was trying to think of a single word that summed everybody up. The team, I mean. Torchwood."

He huffed. "The things that keep you up get crazier every night, Ianto."

"I told you it was stupid," Ianto pouted.

"It is," he teased. "Who've you got so far?"

"Tosh, Owen and Gwen. I don't think I like the word for Gwen, though."

Jack waited for him to continue, but the silence stretched on. "Well? Gonna share with the class?"

"Er. Right. I thought 'Astute' suited Tosh."

"She is that. I think she'd like it. What about Owen?"

"Don't laugh. I tried to pick a…nicer word, but none of them fit. The best I could come up with was 'Antagonistic.'"

Warning or no, Jack couldn't smother the laughter that bubbled up in him. "I'm sorry…no, don't stomp off…oh, that's so…that's amazing."

"Glad to amuse you, sir," Ianto snapped.

It took Jack a few more minutes to get his giggles under control and by that time, Ianto was well and truly in a strop. "No, it works. It's a good word. Gwen?"

Ianto sighed heavily. "I don't like it, but I couldn't think of anything else. Certainly nothing nicer. But…I thought…not in a mean way, but I thought 'Cloying.'"

He wanted to laugh again, but was better at dampening it down this time. For one thing, Ianto would probably smother him with the pillow. For another, this time it was just too damn cute. "I like that."

"I…"

Jack pounced, pinning his young lover beneath him with a growl. "How 'bout me? Don't I get a word? Handsome? Charming? Adonis-like?"

He captured Ianto's lips before he could answer, sliding his tongue along soft lips.

"Tell me," he murmured. "Come on, give me a word."

"Frenetic."

"And you, what word means Ianto Jones?"

Ianto gave a frustrated groan and bucked his hips into Jack's. "I don't have one."

Jack trailed his hand down between them, wrapping his fingers around Ianto's cock. "Catamite?"

The younger man made a choked noise—half moan, half laugh. "You're a bad man, Jack."

"I'll show you bad man."

His tongue traced a path from Ianto's lips to his jaw, laving at the line of stubble before moving up to recapture his mouth.

Just touching Ianto was something Jack loved. He loved the way Ianto arched into him, the way he gasped and moaned, the way Ianto's fingers tangled themselves in his hair or clutched at his shoulders.

He loved the way Ianto felt when he came, intense and quiet, cock pulsing in time with his racing heartbeat, leaving him boneless and sated, just this side of useless.

"Laconic," Jack murmured, taking advantage of the darkness to wipe his hand on the blanket and wrap his arms around his young lover. "That's your word."

Ianto hummed sleepily.

*.*.*

A/N: The original plot bunny had exactly no sexytimes in it, if this even counts. I…don't know what happened. They wouldn't cooperate otherwise. They didn't want to cooperate at all, really. I'm not sure I like it. I tried to keep it mostly dialogue, but I forget why.

Thanks for reading!