When I see you cry for me,
I want to break down and cry with you.
I know that I shouldn't keep it a secret,
But I know what's best for us...
A little pain now can prevent scars tomorrow
But seeing you hurting for me,
Knowing what's making it hurt and what will heal it,
For both answers, it's me...
When you have a clue as to who I really am,
I quickly lie to cover it up,
But I'm only trying to protect you,
If only you knew...
There were so many times I wanted to break down,
The defenses I sought to build,
To tell you the truth,
Of who I really am...
I wanted to shed my mask,
To tell you the things that has passed,
But I knew that even if I did,
I would've just pass the burden to you...
But I can promise you this,
Even when you can't see me there,
Know that at whatever costs,
I'll protect you, to the very end...
Conan scribbled those words onto a piece of paper at hand. He couldn't hold back his feelings for much longer and had to express it in any way he could. When he finished, he tucked the piece of paper into his shirt pocket, confident that no one will read it except him. Conan went to try and find Ran for some dinner. It was about 11 at night but he didn't get to eat at Dr. Agasa's house.
When he found her, she was standing at the window behind Kogoro's desk, looking down on the snow-covered streets with the window open. Conan saw that her long black hair was being blown backwards by the cool draft, chilling him. The living room light wasn't turned on. The only source of light was from the streetlights below. Conan could see something shining in the corner of Ran's eye. It caught his attention. Slowly, the shiny thing trickled down her cheek and remembered the lines of his poem, feeling his own eyes beginning to water.
When I see you cry for me,
I want to break down and cry with you.
"Shinichi, why are you always not here for me when I need you the most?" Ran muttered to the air. She hasn't realized that Conan was behind her. At that moment, he wanted to tell her everything, but held back. He knew he had to keep his emotions in check.
I know that I shouldn't keep it a secret,
But I know what's best for us...
He knew he had to keep his emotions in check. Conan always felt bad when he saw Ran cry. He was Shinichi, the one that Ran longed for yet, they were apart even when Conan was beside her.
A little pain now can prevent scars tomorrow
But seeing you hurting for me,
Knowing what's making it hurt and what will heal it,
For both answers, it's me...
Conan remembered many times he had to lie to Ran about himself. Uncountable times he had said that he wanted to tell her something really important. When Ran remembers it later, Conan would just act like a kid again and say something like about the Godzilla movie.
When you have a clue as to who I really am,
I quickly lie to cover it up,
But I'm only trying to protect you,
If only you knew...
He knew he must never tell her about the Organization and what they did. Not until the Organization was captured and put to justice. Not until he was Shinichi again.
There were so many times I wanted to break down,
The defenses I sought to build,
To tell you the truth,
Of who I really am...
Conan has taken off his glasses off before in front of Ran and wanted desperately to tell her of himself. The true self: Shinichi. But he knew, that it would just jeopardize the safety of those around him. Conan remains silent.
I wanted to shed my mask,
To tell you the things that has passed,
But I knew that even if I did,
I would've just pass the burden to you...
During some nights, when he couldn't sleep because of the memories of the past, he would make promises to Ran silently. He would never leave her. He would always be there to help her, even if it meant his life would be taken. If Ran was hurt, it wouldn't matter if he was alive. It would've made him feel better if he was dead.
But I can promise you this,
Even when you can't see me there,
Know that at whatever costs,
I'll protect you, to the very end...
Conan saw that Ran was shivering at the open window. Silently, he grabbed a coat nearby and walked to Ran. She still hasn't heard of Conan slowly approaching. He softly nudges Ran. "Ran, you look cold. You shouldn't be standing at an open window at this time of the night. Here." He held the jacket to Ran. She just stared dumbly at the coat, still contemplating the situation. Then, she just lost it. She dropped out of desperation and held Conan tight against her, weeping. "Thank....you....so much....Conan..." When she finally managed to gather herself, she spoke again. "Conan, you are such a reassuring presence. Sometimes, I think that Shinichi is really beside me. You feel like Shinichi to me." Conan blushed lightly. "If you need me anytime, just call me. I'll be here and help you through all your troubles." Ran looked at Conan as he said those words. She saw that he really meant it. "Thank you, Conan Edogawa..."