Disclaimer: ST: VOY isn't mine.

Author's Note: Once semestral break starts, I'll get back to my multi-chapter stuff. Until then, chew on this.

Cackling

by mistress amethyst une

She cackled. Yes, cackled. Starship captains didn't cackle. They chuckled and chortled. They would laugh when the occasion called for it. But cackling? Witches cackled, starship captains did not.

Of course, some would argue that there was a bit of witch in Voyager's captain. Sometimes, she was the resident hag on board. Wandering the decks looking like a disaster, her face wrinkled in displeasure, she dealt damage to whomever dared stand in her way. Of course, that only happened about once a month when they were traveling though calm space. Nothing the crew couldn't handle.

The crew saw her more as an enchantress, really. The woman was silver-tongued, could talk her way out of almost every tight fix. Almost. There were some matters that just couldn't be handled diplomatically. The crew had lost count of how many times they'd beaten the odds in a fight. Something about the woman that led them definitely wasn't of the same universe as they were. It wasn't something they pondered though. As long as she kept the ship whole, they were content to let that mystery remain unsolved.

But this...cackling? Why? A lone crewman was in the turbolift with her. He'd busied himself with a PADD the moment she'd come in. The higher-ups made him uncomfortable. Yes, it had been five years. Sure, he'd felt more than welcome after all that time. But still, there was an aura about their captain that just made him uneasy.

He shuddered when she cackled. Peering from behind his PADD, he cautiously glanced at her. She had her gaze set on the turbolift door. In her hand was a PADD not unlike his own.

He pried his eyes away from her and went back to his own PADD. He hadn't checked his messages, and Lieutenant Torres had been sore at him yesterday for being late. Surely, there was a well-worded piece of hate mail he needed to reply to...

Accessing his inbox, he opened the first message immediately, not caring to see who it was from. Upon reading the message, he dropped his PADD in shock.

"Problem, Crewman?" asked Janeway.

"Ma'am, he won't be happy."

She cackled again. "That was the point."

She left the turbolift when it stopped to admit her to the bridge. The crewman slumped against the cold metal wall, staring at his PADD and anticipating the later pandemonium.

To: Voyager Crew Manifest

From: Kathryn Janeway, Captain

Chakotay,

Since you felt the need to make sure that every candle was accounted for on my birthday cake last week, I felt I owed you. Turnabout is fair play. I do know how to count, you know. Forty-five? That was your guess? Off by two years, OLD friend. And please, don't go blaming me by saying I encrypted my age on my personnel files. You could have hacked them. I did appreciate the effort though. Four years of cakes with single candles wasn't much fun. Now, having so many candles I could have set my hair on fire...that was fun! As you can see, this message has been sent to the entire crew. I've grown acquainted with your sister. I used my last chip to chat with her actually. She sent me the most amusing picture. I just couldn't keep it to myself. Sharing is good, isn't it?

-K. Janeway

When he'd reached his engineering station, people around him were already unable to contain their laughter and smiles. Not knowing what else to do, he opened the attachment.

An image of Voyager's first officer as a child greeted the crewman. It wouldn't have been much to look at if the child in the image didn't have the most intense look on his face while his index finger was up his left nostril, seemingly digging for some lost treasure.

They say the captain spent her entire eighteen-hour shift cackling...

For those who don't know, I just graduated as full-fledged Field Medic in my university's Air Force ROTC. This is based on one of the pranks our HQHQ commander pulled on my commanding officer and captain. She stole his ID with his photo and publicly posted it in our office with the note: "My son --, I just think you're so cute. I had to steal your ID. But then I felt guilty so here it is. Your mother, C/MAJOR --."

Little clarification, she's his "mother" because she trained him. My commanding officer is my "father" which makes her my "grandmother." Mind you, before she left, she told me, "Don't go stealing your Daddy's ID, ok?" Wow...