Not So Alone

Chapter 1: A Sad Existence and a Chance Encounter

Summary: On the outside, Tomoya was never one to care about where his life went. However, deep within himself, he always wanted to change himself; he just lacked the motivation or the force needed to push himself higher. All it would probably take was for someone to recognize him as a person rather than just a delinquent; certainly, he did not expect that any time soon.

Disclaimer: In no way do I dare own Clannad or any of its characters. Doing so would ruin the awesomeness that is Clannad. Also, if you don't like OC characters, you have been warned that the OC character plays an important role in this story. You have been warned.

Edit: Sorry to disappoint those looking for a new chapter, but after looking at my chapter again, I decided to extend this chapter because it seemed the ending was too abrupt for just a chapter. So yeah, please continue waiting patiently for the next chapter. I promise you won't regret it.

Junior Year - Spring

The world is a cold, cruel place. A place where the weakest of hearts succumb to the never-ending stresses of society. Ever-rising expectations and multiple deadlines are some of what life in high school has in store for those seeking higher education. Nagging teachers and doting parents made sure you kept up with the material at school. Absolutely no peace of mind exists for those who work hard to succeed and eventually graduate to a good-standing university. It is a certainty these hardships are not going to end at high school; perhaps, they are just the start of a mountain of problems that will bury you alive while you foolishly attempt to balance it all.

How troublesome. I'd rather much stay in my warm bed and sleep. At least, that's what I would like to say, but I know I can't very well sleep the entire day away. Even a delinquent like me would like to amount to something one day; I don't want to stay like this forever.

However, with all that I've gone through in my life, why should I even bother to try? My mom died in a car crash when I was young. I don't even remember her face. Because of her death, my good-for-nothing father drowned himself in despair and alcohol. He continues to neglect my very existence to this day and treats me like I'm some distant acquaintance he met some time ago. Nothing hurts more than feeling like you don't even belong in your own family. He doesn't treat me like a son; he doesn't feel like a father to me. I feel like I don't have a place to go home to; after all, why would I want to be in a place where the atmosphere is constantly tense and awkward? Some loving support I have from what little remains of my family...

*sigh* Just thinking about the state of my so-called family depresses me; the brooding atmosphere of this house does nothing to improve my state of mind either. The rays of sunlight that peek through my window curtains make my room more dreary than normal. I hastily throw the sheets off of me and get dressed for school. I need to get out of this house, now; I can't stand being here any longer.

I go the bathroom to make myself more presentable and freshen up. I try to do all this as quietly as possible; after all, I can't be waking up my old man, can I? As I peer downstairs, I see nothing but darkness. It doesn't seem there is any sign of life down there. As silent as possible, I creep down the stairs. Each step, I listen for any indication that the old man may have woken up.

"..." Nothing, so far.

The last thing I want to do is run into "him." As I continue to traverse down the stairs, I can barely make out where everything is: the table, the TV, multiple other junk just lying around this God forsaken house... The mere thought of this house clenches my heart and almost makes it hard to breathe; it's as if something is suffocating me. The air here is stale and further proves to me how dead this place really is to me. I hate this place. I really hate this place.

"Note to self: clean up around here once in a while." It definitely would make things easier around here for me. Navigating through all the junk without making a single noise proved to be a bit of a task.

"Shit!" I yell as I nearly stumble onto the floor. Because I was deep in thought, I almost tripped on something by the door. Peering closer, I could see it was the last thing I wanted to see: my father. Apparently, he had collapsed in the corner, surrounded by multiple beer bottles. The sight of him like this still makes me sick to my stomach to this day. I thought I would be used to seeing this pathetic sight, but seeing someone you used to consider your father kinda makes it hard to be indifferent towards him completely, huh?

I quietly scoff as I step over his body. I slide open the door and walk through the threshold of this living hell. I promptly shut the door and finally take my first breath of fresh air.

(Line Break Here)

As I let my entire body relax, I aimlessly walk with no particular destination in mind. As if my feet had a mind of their own, they end up bringing me to the bottom of the hill; my school lies at the top of this steep hill. My thoughts scatter after realizing how early it is: 7:00 AM. It's certainly too early to go to the school and going before it even opens would only depress me more. This is why I hate waking up early... There's nothing to do nor do I have anyone to pass time with. So, with no other choice, I decide to sit myself at the base of one of the trees that line the sidewalk. The air gently blows on this beautiful spring morning. Sakura petals slowly drift from the branches above me, giving this scenery a more surreal atmosphere. This is relaxing; it truly, truly is; turning my head upwards, I slowly gaze at the sky as my eyes begin to close.

My eyes suddenly opened; I had no idea I had even dozed off. Then again, it's not much of a surprise considering how much this scenery was so relaxing. I look at my watch to see it is 7:45 AM. I see a couple of other students walking past me; they pay no mind to me, and it's as if I'm not even there. I'm used to this already; no one wants anything to do with a delinquent anyways. This is no different than any other day. I sigh as I slowly get up and brush the dirt off my pants.

Eh? I feel like someone is looking at me. I scan the immediate area and find my eyes crossing with those of another guy. His dark brown eyes seem to have a hint of curiosity as they stare back at me. His short black hair seem to blow slightly in the wind as they seem to dance in front of his eyes. He's wearing a small black backpack that seems to hug his back. By the badge on his jacket, he's a junior like me, but his face doesn't seem to be familiar to me at all. This seems to go on for a little bit until I wave my hand casually to him. His eyes widen, then his mouth breaks into a big grin and starts waving back a little bit. Grabbing my bag, I turn to approach the stranger.

"Yo. What are you looking at?" I asked. After all, it's not often I have people staring at me out of sincere curiosity.

"Oh." He laughs. "Just was surprised to see someone taking a nap underneath a tree. It's the first time I've ever seen anyone do that. Also, you're wearing the same jacket as the rest of us, so I figured you went to the same school as the rest of us. Don't mind me too much." He laughs again nervously as he scratches his left cheek.

I was a bit skeptical of this new person; he seemed too... how do you put it... nice? No one seemed to even give a damn about me before; either they would scatter at the mere sight of me or out right ignore me. Either way never left me feeling in a good mood, no matter how many times it happened. Yet, here is someone trying to have a conversation with me. What an interesting person.

"Well, don't get used to it." I bluntly stated. "If you ask around, you'll see it's a rare sight to see me up even remotely close to this time." He looked confused and at the same time surprised as I said this.

"You mean, you tend to oversleep?" He genuinely asks.

"More or less."

"Why?"

"Why should I have to answer such a question to someone I just met today for the first time?" I reply sharply. He jumps back a little.

"Eep, sorry. Just curious. You're not going to hold that against me, are you?" He kinda cowers, but still stands his ground. He really doesn't know who he's talking to, does he?

"What I find strange is why you're suddenly talking to me, a complete stranger who goes to your school." Something about this conversation and encounter in general seems a little off to me. Maybe it's just the first time someone went out of his way to talk to a person like me. He puts his hand to his chin and stares upwards.

"Hmmm. You just seemed to be an interesting guy. I don't know why, just call it a feeling." What a vague answer. Who is this guy?

His eyes widen as he scrambles to look at his watch. He then turns his attention to me.

"Sorry I have to cut this chat off so quickly, but it's almost 8:00! We'd better hurry, if we don't want to be late!"

I wave my hand as to dismiss his last statement. "Feh. It doesn't mean much to me. You go on ahead; I'll probably see you around. Besides, you seem to be a stickler for time anyway, the absolute opposite of me."

His eyes narrow in concern, as if contemplating something. "Well, if that's the way it's going to be..." He pauses. "See ya!" Then, in a blur, he rushes up the hill, dodging people along the way. I forgot to ask about his name. Meh, it doesn't matter too much to me. I scratch the back of my head as I watch that strange individual disappear from sight. I sigh; I might as well get a move on and move up the hill myself. No use standing here like an idiot. I stare up the hill again.

(Line Break Here)

As I walk this seemingly never-ending road, I mutter, "Ugh, why did the school gates have to be so far up this damn hill?" The wind began to pick up as a response, scattering loose sakura petals from the trees around me. It seemed like I was being engulfed in a vortex of pink as I continued to walk. The wind softly caressed my face as the wind blew all around me; it felt so refreshing. Not paying attention to the path that lays in front of me, I stare into the blue, endless sky. For one of the rare moments in my life, I was at peace. Staring at the sky always makes me feel insignificant, and my problems don't seem as daunting as I would use to think.

I can see and hear the chirping of birds flying freely in the sky. They glided along the wind currents and flew so freely in the vast sky; they had no limits to where they could go or what they could do. Makes me wonder if I will be able to make something of myself one day; will I be able to be something that's worthy in people's eyes? As my thoughts wander into the memories of my dreary past, I can see all the fights I've gotten into with my dad, all the cold stares that others would give me if they would glance in my direction, the sadness that would fill my heart at the thought of being alone... I could ever feel tears beginning to build up; I shake my head. Tears wouldn't do anything for me now; it's far too late for any of that.

"Getting into such a negative mood before school even starts. Something must be really wrong with me today." I sighed silently. I've been sighing too much; it's becoming such an annoying habit. Am I really that unhappy with my life?

At that moment, the school bell rings. Bringing me out of my thoughts, I'm brought back into the present. In front of me were the school gates; how did I manage to get up here? Even more so, why did I feel like that the walk up the hill was much shorter than usual? I stare behind me at the hill and then stare back at the school. I shake my head once more; I'm just over-thinking things. "Might as well get inside. No use being late if I'm already here." I say to myself. I sprint through the main doors, quickly take off my shoes, and put on the indoor shoes that were already in my locker. As I race past the gymnasium, I can hear quite the commotion going on inside. It must be the freshmen coming to the school this spring. From what I can hear, there are quite a lot of them too this year. Focusing on getting to my classroom in time, I raced up the stairs to the second floor. I finally stopped in front of a door: 2-3. I briefly took a short breath of air and calmly walked in the classroom as much as possible.

The moment I walked in, it seemed the focus of current interest was on me. I could hear gossips of disbelief and surprise of my presence at this hour. Some people had the audacity to even stare at me; I threw a glare to those people to dissuade any more stares at me. Most had immediately turned towards the front of the classroom and stared downwards; yet, some even chanced a glance in my direction when they thought I wasn't looking. Was it seriously that much of a surprise to see me here at 8:00 in the morning? Wait a second, yeah, of course it is! Still, people didn't have to make a scene about it; people are just annoying like that. I put my head on my arms and let my eyes just wander outside.

I am now a junior that goes to Hikarizaka High School. People hold this particular high school in high regard for being the best in the area; also, this school is well renown for its encouragement of sports and clubs. I used to play basketball but after a particular incident, I was unable to play basketball anymore. Giving it up was one of the hardest things to do. I hate all the people who immerse themselves in clubs and sports. Damn them for being able to enjoy what they do most; I became bitter to any and all who had anything to do with sports or clubs. Of course, this did nothing to help improve my mindset towards people in general.

The ringing of the bell that signals the start of homeroom brings me out of my lazy stupor. With half-dazed eyes, I look around and see the homeroom teacher walking in. The excited chatter of the students around me dies down as the teacher begins to announce some announcements, probably having to do with how we should act this year and what other nonsense that he probably is obligated to say. Ugh, teachers annoy me.

"Class representative, if you please." the teacher says. A chair scoots back; I turn my head instinctively to see a girl with long flowing hair and a white ribbon near her left ear stand up from her seat. Her hair seems to float as she stands up, and her eyes seemed to sparkle as she was called.

"Stand." Everyone almost immediately does so. I kinda lag behind, but I don't think anyone else notices.

"Bow." Everyone bows at the exact same time. This is so annoying. Why do we do this again?

Everyone takes their seat again as the teacher leaves. With only a matter of minutes before the first period begins, I once again glance at the class representative. Her purple eyes really complemented her amethyst hair and seemed to exude a regal or even a superior aura around her. The white ribbon only added to how attractive she already was. Her body seemed really slender and seemed to hint that she was was somewhat athletic. She was happily chatting with one of her friends next to her, and her eyes still retained that sparkle that I saw earlier. I was kind of envious of how carefree and happy someone could be... That sparkle was kind of contag-

She suddenly looks at me square in the eye. My eyes widen, and my face flushes slightly at the thought of being caught admiring someone. I stumble and turn to face towards the front of the room, trying to make it seem like I wasn't staring at her for too long or too intently. While staring forward, my eyes slowly chance a glance at her on my peripheral view. Her eyes seemed to have lost all signs of that sparkle that used to be predominant in her eyes before; rather, now they were stormy and seemed to issue a challenge to keep looking at her. My eyes dart forward once again, and I decide that looking at anything outside was much more appealing than anything going on in the classroom. I can still feel her eyes on me as it bores heavily on my back; I can't shake this cold and dreadful feeling that her eyes seemed to be imposing on me. How can the same pair of eyes hold such brilliance and such frigidity at the same time?

My thoughts freeze as I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn to see the same pair of eyes that were in my mind right in front of me. Is it me or do I somehow see raging flames behind her? Her mouth is in a simple grim line, and her hands are on her hips as if demanding an explanation. Her entire body seems to loom over my very existence. My voice doesn't seem to be responding, and nothing but hoarse sounds seem to escape from my mouth. My entire body involuntarily shudders at this sight. What the hell is she? The silence between us seems to go on forever and it would've probably ended that way too if she hadn't spoken up first...

"What were you looking at, huh?" her voice harsh and unfeeling. Great, what have I gotten myself into? Such misfortune.