Dear Friend
From: percyj
To: lcastellan
Subject: Um... what do I even put here? Who even invented subject lines?
Dear Whoever,
I apologize in advance for this letter. You see, we're doing this thing in English class where we write to a 'pen friend' for a month and see how it goes. I wouldn't be doing this stupid assignment if it wasn't for the fact that it makes up 40% of our grade.
You're probably wondering who I am, and how I got your email address. I swear I'm not stalking you or anything. I don't even know if we're in the same country – hell, I don't know anything about you. But see, apparently you wrote on your Wordpress blog that it's okay for people to contact you, and you even put up your email ID. That's how I found you. I found your Wordpress when I was looking through my friend Annabeth's blog. She's one of your followers, so maybe you know her.
My name is Percy Jackson. I'm 16, and I live in New York. I won't tell you where exactly, because for all I know you're a serial killer or a pedophile, and I don't want to end up dead in a ditch somewhere. No offense meant. It's just that living with Smelly Gabe teaches you caution.
You're probably wondering what kind of weirdo I am, and how stupid this is. You're not the only one. You don't have to reply if you don't want to.
(I'm actually sort of hoping you won't reply, because then I won't have to hand in this stupid assignment.)
Yours truly or whatever,
Percy
From: lcastellan
To: percyj
Subject: Re: Um... what do I even put here? Who even invented subject lines?
Hi there, Percy :)
I'm sorry to burst your little bubble of hope by replying, but I was too intrigued not to.
I can understand why you hate English assignments. I find them stupid too. This one time my teacher asked us all to write a letter full of compliments to a random person in class. We had to pick names out of a hat. I got Thalia Grace. It was horrible because she's totally badass and awesome and compared to her I'm a lame noob who thinks he's cool.
Well, since you've told me about yourself, it's only fair that I return the favor. My name is Luke Castellan, I'm 18 and I live in Washington DC. I'm in my last year of high school, and I work part-time at Wendy's instead of committing murder or molesting children, so don't worry. Yeah, it is okay to contact me, my only friend is this weirdo called Ethan Nakamura. He has only one eye and he likes to strangle squirrels in his spare time. Don't ask why, I don't know.
Annabeth... sounds familiar. I think she's one of Thalia's internet friends, Thalia has loads of those. She only follows me because Thalia told her to. I think her blog's at .com. I don't even know what that's supposed to mean.
What about you? Do you have a blog?
Who's Smelly Gabe? He sounds interesting. Relative of yours?
You don't have to think of this as an assignment, you know. Just think of me as an actual friend that you enjoy writing to. It'll make this easier, trust me.
Later.
-Luke
From: percyj
To: lcastellan
Subject: Re: re: Um... what do I even put here? Who even invented subject lines?
Aw come on, you couldn't just delete my mail?
Oh well. Since you've replied, I'll have to be nice and reply too. Dammit.
No offense meant, by the way. It's not you I'm annoyed with, it's this assignment. Though yeah, it does sound a lot better than yours. Damn, that must have been awkward as hell. How long have you been crushing on Thalia, then?
Washington DC... I went once, with my mom. I don't remember it much, I couldn't have been more than three at the time. 'Course, this was way before Smelly Gabe. Now Mom and I can't go anywhere without that moron's "permission". That, and the fact that the only car we own is his. It's just as smelly as he is.
My only friend (other than Annabeth) is this kid called Grover. He had some accident when he was a baby so now he has to use crutches. He's kinda strange... I swear I saw him eat a tin can once, but he thinks I'm going insane. I'm not convinced he's wrong, either.
Yeah, that's Annabeth's blog. She uploads her designs all the time. She wants to be an architect, you know. Her designs are awesome, but don't tell her I said that. She'd never let me hear the end of it. I keep telling her no one looks at her blog. She keeps telling me she has like thirty followers who are avid fans.
Meh. I've got a tumblr blog. My URL is olympiananarchy, though there's really no point in giving it to you. I just reblog fandom posts or whine about my life.
Smelly Gabe is my stepfather. I have no idea why my mom married him, because he's ugly as hell, and she hates him almost as much as I do. All he ever does is play poker with his equally ugly friends, or beat on me and my mom.
...I don't even know you, but for the sake of this assignment I'll assume you're my long-lost cousin or something.
-Percy
To: percyj
From: lcastellan
Subject: Re: re: re: Um... what do I even put here? Who even invented subject lines?
No, I couldn't just delete your email. You have a cute profile picture, and I always open mail from cute people. It's my number one rule.
It's not so hard to be nice to people, you know. You keep trying to sound like you don't want to talk to me but you've already told me so much about yourself. And you sound like a nice person, too (also, you're cute).
WHO SAYS I'M CRUSHING ON THALIA? I'M NOT CRUSHING ON THALIA. YOU'RE CRUSHING ON ANNABETH.
Why do you have to ask his permission? Because it's his car? You're 16, you probably have a job. Maybe you could save up enough to buy yourself and your mom a car. He shouldn't order you around, you know.
Maybe Grover has some kind of disorder where he's supposed to eat tin cans as medication? That's the only explanation I can come up with. Haha, we both ended up with weird friends. Maybe we should set Grover and Ethan up on a date. What do you think?
Yeah? I think I'll go check out her blog. She follows me but I don't follow her back. I just assumed she was one of my fangirls, you know.
Kidding. I'm just kidding. I have like, 100 followers.
Olympiananarchy? What's with you and Annabeth and Olympus, dude? Are you two like, part Greek or something?
Dude. That sucks. Maybe you should ask her why she married him, if she hates him?
Long-lost cousins. Not bad.
-Luke
Yes, I'm aware Percy and Luke are dyslexic. This is an AU. They're not demigods.
My first PJO story, though, so feedback is greatly appreciated :)
-Peace x