"Dude, I need to see this movie."
Clyde spoke with a tone that dripped more genuine sincerity than Craig had thought possible. Craig turned from Clyde and set his gaze on the movie poster. Terrance and Phillip in Space. The space part had definitely piqued Craig's interest. The tagline, "in space, no one can hear you fart," had caused him to snicker as well.
"It looks like it could be cool. How would we get in?"
Clyde paused for a moment, his forehead crinkled as he tried to think.
"Oh! I have an idea! I'll stand on your shoulders--"
Craig snorted.
"You and your babyface? Yeah right."
"Fine, you have any ideas?"
Craig gave an honest shrug and started walking away from the movie theater. As Clyde hurried to follow, Craig walked into the Tweek Bros. Coffee House and strolled up to the counter. Mr. Tweak smiled to the boys.
"Hi Craig! Hi Clyde! You must be looking for Tweek!"
"Yes sir," Craig nodded, "is he here?"
"Yep, he's in the back room. I have him unloading our new stock."
Craig led Clyde to the door to the back room. As Craig opened the door, the sound of Tweek's frantic shouts and grunts as he attempted to lift heavy stock bags filled the shop.
"I've never been back here before," Clyde's eyes lit in awe, expressing more excitement than the view was worth.
"Yeah it's pretty cool," Craig shrugged, letting the door slip out of his fingers and shut behind them. "Tweek's parents let me hang out back here when I skip school."
"Oh, Jesus!"
Craig and Clyde glanced over at Tweek just in time to see a bag nearly the size of himself full of coffee beans hit the ground.
"Hey Tweek!" Clyde waved, ignoring the accident.
"I told you to start sliding the bags on the ground, babe. You can't pick those up."
"But if I slide the bag, then the bag might wear down, and then the bag will explode and coffee beans will spill everywhere! And then-and then Dad will KILL me!"
Craig shrugged understandingly while Clyde scoffed.
"Your dad won't kill you, Tweek! He seems super cool!" Clyde turned to Craig to see him already staring into his eyes.
"The amount of times he has almost put Tweek into child slavery.. he might." The entire time Craig spoke, Tweek nodded frantically.
Clyde let a soft, confused sound escape his mouth. Before he could form a coherent sentence, Craig interjected.
"We're going to sneak into the new Terrance and Phillip. Are you done with your chores?"
"This is my last bag," Tweek focused on lifting the bag and hugging it to his chest. "I don't want to sneak into a movie! What if we get caught?"
"Well the thing is, we won't get caught!" Clyde smiled proudly, as if his words were reassuring. He didn't seem to notice the heightened panic pasted onto Tweek's face.
"You don't know that! Gah!" Tweek dropped the bag of coffee onto the pile of others.
"Do you think your mom would buy us tickets?"
It had taken Craig a second to think of this solution, even though it was the most obvious one. Most parents would say no, but Mr. and Mrs. Tweak didn't really care about anything Tweek did. To most kids this was the dream. But only Craig knew how much it hurt Tweek.
"Are you kidding? The parents hate Terrance and Philip!" Clyde scoffed. "Great idea, Cr-"
"Actually, that could work," the panic in Tweek's eyes calmed.
Craig met Clyde's eyes, his own eyes speaking the words "fuck you" so his lips didn't have to.
Tweek opened the door and poked his head out into the rest of the shop.
"Mom!"
"Yes, Tweek?" Mrs. Tweak's voice was so calm, it was nearly comical to think that the screaming child was her direct descendant.
"Could-could you buy us tickets to see the movie in the theater?"
"Did you finish your chores?"
"Gnnnnnyes." Tweek twitched, grabbing at his shirt. "I unloaded the bags with the dolly then carried each individual bag over to the corner, like you said!"
"Great job, son!" Mrs. Tweak smiled to him. "Now let's get you guys some treats to sneak in and then I'll buy you your tickets!"
Clyde turned to Craig instantly, a smile growing on his face.
"Treats?"
Mrs. Tweak began putting cookies and pastries in a big bag and handed them to Tweek. Tweek pushed the door open wider with his elbow as he grabbed the bag.
"Of course! Tweek baked these this morning, they just finished cooling down. Tweek is very good at baking!" Mrs. Tweak walked to the front of the shop and opened the door, leading the boys outside. "Now Tweek, remember, you need to hide that bag under your shirt so they don't know you're bringing in food."
At the sound of his own name, Tweek jumped, a shriek escaping his throat, but he hesitantly complied. His brows furrowed in a confused frustration as he attempted to casually tuck the bag into his button-up shirt.
"This is so obvious!" Clyde and Craig watched as Tweek fumbled with his arms, trying to hold them around his stomach in a way that covered the lumps of the bag of treats. "This isn't going to work! Oh God, I'm going to get caught! And-and I'm going to get thrown in jail!"
"Now now honey, it's not that noticeable."
Craig's eyes darted from Mrs. Tweak, to Tweek and to Clyde before settling back to Mrs. Tweak.
"Um. It is."
Mrs. Tweak ignored Craig led the boys to the nearby theater, approaching the ticket counter.
"Hi there, could I get three tickets?"
The man at the ticket booth inhaled slowly, observing the woman and three children. His eyes set on Tweek.
"Is that blonde kid sneaking in food?"
Tweek's eyes widened, and he jumped, stepping behind Craig. Craig could hear Tweek mumble "oh Jesus, I'm dead, I'm dead."
"Oh, that's my son," Mrs. Tweak smiled, before lowering her voice. "He's a little chubby."
"What?!" Tweek's voice was shrill and sudden as he accidentally screamed directly into Craig's ear. Craig's shoulders jolted for a second, but otherwise his only reaction was turning his confused gaze from Mrs. Tweak to her son.
Craig held out his hand, which Tweek took. He could feel the shivering and shaking through his hand.
After a moment's pause, the man at the counter took Mrs. Tweak's money and printed the tickets.
The boys all received their tickets and made their way through the front doors. Tweek glanced behind them, seeing his mother wave from outside the closing door. The door slammed with a loud thud causing Tweek's shoulders to shiver. His hand that held Craig's gave an involuntary squeeze, and he turned his head to look forward again.
"You guys don't think I'm chubby, do you?" Tweek looked down at his shirt, hiding the bag of cookies.
"No," Craig spoke mindlessly as he eyed the concession stand, leading the group that way. "Clyde's chubby, not you."
"Bu-" Clyde's head snapped in Craig's direction, his voice spilling a defensive tone. "Dude.."
"Hm?" Craig glanced over at Clyde, seemingly not recognizing what he said. Approaching the concession stand, Craig looked at the menu. "I was going to get popcorn and soda, do you guys want anything else?"
"Gnnndo they have coffee?"
"No."
"I want candy!" Clyde pushed closer towards the two of them. "Just like. A box of candy."
Standing on his toes and placing both hands on the edge, Craig looked over the countertop, his eyes just barely reaching over. He pulled an arm up and dropped some bills and coins onto the counter.
The man at the concession stand slid forward a large tub of popcorn, a large soda and a box of candy. Craig grabbed the soda with both hands, and Clyde stuck the box of candy on top of the tub of popcorn, hugging the tub to his chest as the three made their way to find their seats.
They found three empty seats in the middle of the theater. Craig sat in the middle and the two boys sat on either side of him. Tweek looked around, seeing about four other people in the theater, two pairs sitting on opposite sides of the theater. His breathing deepened as he looked around at the other people.
"Do you think they know? What if they know? We can get kicked out."
"Know what? That you snuck in cookies?" Craig glanced at the lump of cookies stashed in Tweek's shirt before looking around at the groups of people Tweek was staring at. All of them, Craig noticed, were teenagers who had snuck in. "No, they don't know. They wouldn't care anyway."
"Look," Clyde pointed to a pair of people. "They snuck in tacos. You'll be okay, Tweek."
Nodding, Tweek inhaled softly and pulled the bag of cookies out of his shirt, setting them on the ground in front of Craig so everyone could reach them. Craig sat the soda in the cupholder between him and Tweek, and Clyde took his box of candy before passing the popcorn to Craig.
"I'm so excited for this movie!" Clyde kicked the seat in front of him. "Do you think there'll be aliens?"
"God I hope not," Tweek shivered.
Tweek grabbed a couple pieces of popcorn, only to drop them in his lap out of shock as the lights dimmed.
"I…wasn't expecting it," he exhaled softly as his friends turned to glance at him.
The soundtrack boomed loudly as the opening credits ran. Clyde grabbed Craig's shoulders and shook them, bouncing in his own chair.
"I can't believe we're going to see it! I've wanted to see this movie for, like, ever!"
"You just learned it existed half an hour ago."
"Yeah and I've wanted to see it ever since!"
The three boys watched in silent awe as they watched Terrance and Phillip use the swear words the boys were familiar with in new fun, innovative ways. Their jaws dropped a little more with each word.
"I can't believe they just said that!" Tweek's voice managed to scream even in a whisper. "Don't they remember what happened last time?!"
"It's fuckin sweet," Clyde's words came out in a laugh as he tipped the box of candy into his open mouth. "I can't wait to use some of these. Fucknugget! That's genius!"
"Jesus Clyde, shut up," Craig spoke without daring to part his eyes from the screen, not even to shoot Clyde a nasty look when he reached over and stole the popcorn bucket. On screen, Terrance and Phillip just landed on a new planet. And to Craig it looked so real. The effort put into the set looked amazing. "Look at Mars, dude. You don't think they really went to space for this, do you?"
"JESUS CHRIST," Tweek launched backward in his seat as an alien came on screen. Not expecting his outburst, popcorn flung from Clyde's newly claimed popcorn bucket.
"Tweek, what the fuck!" Clyde batted his hand at the popcorn on his legs, kicking it to the floor. Clyde's face turned towards Craig, his eyes begging for an explanation, or at the very least, an apology for the poor popcorn on the ground.
"He doesn't like aliens," Craig shrugged matter-of-factly before reaching over and grabbing the popcorn bucket back.
"Jesus Clyde, sorry," Tweek's eye twitched as he shared an apologetic look to Clyde, leaning down and grabbing a cookie from the bag, handing it to Clyde.
Clyde cautiously took the cookie before allowing himself to smile.
"I accept this apology."