Chapter One
Shadow Flames
I always knew that love would find me someday, but I never imagined that it could change my life forever. . .
I will never forget that beautiful night, when I fell in love with the most gorgeous, perfect girl I've ever met. My life has never been the same since that night...
I never thought I would choose to come to a place like this. The church. Yep, that's right, I am at church, and finding it hard just to stand outside the door of this big, white, forbidding building. I swear, it is like looking at a castle. The three green-tinted, arched windows on the ground floor are spectacular! Taking a closer look, I see that the stained glass is embedded with the most intricate scrollwork and designs I've ever seen. Above each arch is a cross that is visible from several blocks away. The roof on the lower structure has a green cross in each corner. The massive building towers up towards the sky as I admire windows upon windows. At the very top is the most magnificent clock I have ever seen. Realizing once again that it is a church, I roll my eyes and stand in front of the big door, debating whether or not to go inside, or just leave and return home.
I stop for a second, standing very still as I slowly shake my head. My heart is racing so fast. I am wondering what would happen if I walk through the door. To be honest, this isn't my first time standing here, but actually my tenth attempt at trying to go inside. As I debate what to do, I see the sun disappearing behind some dark, gray, puffy clouds that slowly envelop the entire cerulean blue sky. Cumulonimbus clouds, the thought pops into my mind. Yet another useless piece of trivial information gathered and stored away safely in my mental files from somewhere in the past which I can't recall anymore. Suddenly, a swirling wind begins to blow from all different directions. I'm sure most of the people here are used to the wind blowing like a tornado, especially being from Chicago, the windy city, and all. But this is the first time I've seen anything like it since I moved here.
The wind part doesn't bother me too much since it can't ruin my stellar hair, I reassure myself with a smirk. I expect it will just sprinkle a few drops of rain and pass over after several minutes. Nope, this turns out to be the beginning of a big ass storm. As I turn around, I catch a
flash of bright light in the sky from the corner of my eye. I look up to where I saw it and spot another lightning bolt arcing and tearing through the sky, illuminating the clouds as it weaves through them. In between those dark clouds, every few seconds, the lightning continues to strike the same spot over and over again. Like some naughty child hiding in the clouds, it keeps flicking the light switch on and off up in the sky.
Storms like this are awe-inspiring. I swear, I could sit here and watch it for hours. Something inside me refuses to leave. It is like my feet are stuck on the ground. I am frozen, almost imprisoned inside my own body, I can't move even an inch. I never felt this way this way before. It is creepy as hell.
BOOM!
There it goes again—thunder—pounding from the heavens, shaking the earth. The entire sky roars with power and majesty, like a rampaging lion. I hear a rumbling noise every few seconds, growing louder and louder with each passing moment. The air is electrified with ozone, and as the rumbling grows in intensity, so does the sizzling, until finally, the blinding flash lights up the sky again, followed by the booming thunder as it crashes down upon me and rattles and shakes the windows.
Every loud roar of thunder seems to manifest inside me and I can feel the change in air pressure as the sonic wave washes over me. My whole body reacts by thumping and trembling. Oddly, it almost makes me feel happy and content. I walk down the stairs and stand on the pathway of the church, leaning backward a little, and look up at the sky. Slowly, I close my eyes, listening to the loud grumbling of the angry clouds. I feel the first two virgin drops of cold rainfall on my face. I don't move...I want to savor this moment for as long as possible. Those two drops become three, four, and more until it turns into a downpour. As I stand there, I feel the fat drops sliding down my face. A few minutes later, I open my eyes and notice a woman approaching.
"Hey, you there!" I hear her say not too far from where I am standing. "You there! C'mon... come inside before you catch a cold, my child—run! Run inside quickly!" I obey her instantly before I can gather my thoughts together...
Now, I am standing inside the church—the church—the one that took me ten attempts to finally enter. Rainwater is pouring off my dark jeans, and puddling on my white shoes. Looking up, I spot an older woman wearing a loose, long, black dress made of serge. It is pleated at the neck and she has on dark stockings, shoes, and a woven belt. She holds a rosary in her hand, completing the traditional habit. She must be in her fifties.
"Oh, Lord! You are soaking wet, my child!" she exclaims in a gentle voice.
"Yeah, I am, aren't I?" I reply with a smile.
"Here... you sit right here, and I'll go get you a towel so you can dry yourself," she insists as she sits me down on the bench and walks away.
While waiting, I look all around the church. It is magnificent inside. The entire room is painted in maroon and gold colors. The marble inlays high above are set in the walls and creepy at best, with beastly images that stare down at me. An abstract crucifix hangs strangely under a large "crown of thorns," and another depiction of Christ is behind some netting. It seems like evil and the defeat of Christ are the only objectives of the church.
Click, clack, click, clack… I hear her coming towards me.
"Here, you can wipe yourself dry."
"Thanks." I take the towel she offers and gently wipe off my face.
"Why were you standing outside in the storm?"
I laugh. "Mmm . . . I guess I was just enjoying the sensation of that sudden downpour of rain." Drops of rain look as sparkly and effervescent as champagne bubbles hitting my skin.
"Oh? I don't think that was a wise thing to do, my child. But you are a grown man and should have known exactly what you were doing, right?" she asks.
"Yeah—I guess so!"
She look at me with one eyebrow up. "Well, I am sure God brought you here for a reason. You can stay here as long as you want. If you need anything, just let me know. I will be in the kitchen right behind that door on the right hand side."
"I will—and thank you—for the towel and all your hospitality. My name is Eli, by the way, Eli Kavanagh. May I know the name of the lovely lady who helped me tonight?" She looks at me for a second with probing eyes before she speaks. I assume she is trying to assess the dripping wet man who is standing before her, if I am in need of more help than she in "Yes, you may. My name is Mother Angelica." She isn't as outspoken as I assume nuns would be. Mother Angelica leaves the room very quietly with a small smile that ever-so-slightly creeps across her lips as she turns.
I wander around in the church, still wiping my face. Finding myself at the altar, my feet freeze and I feel like I can't move again. I slowly sit down on the closest bench next to me. Yeesh! I can't believe myself. What am I doing here? I always wanted to come inside this place, but never had enough courage to dare put my foot inside. I have plenty of questions in my head with no explanations at all.
That night, I sit in the church, deep in my thoughts, when I hear the door open. I don't bother looking up and just sit there with my head tilted down. A soft wind blows inside when the door opens. I feel the draft at the back of my neck, and turn my head to see who is coming inside, while remembering that Mother Angelica is in the kitchen and didn't mention anyone else being there. My eyes blink a couple times but I sit there on the bench as immovable as a rock.
There she is, standing right by the door. My eyes drift over to her, and linger on her. I, Eli, have never fallen in love until this night, and I haven't fallen out of love since. I can't believe my eyes so I just stare at her. She is wearing dark jeans, a purple plaid shirt and a white tank top underneath it. All her clothes are soaking wet just like mine. I see water dripping from her jeans onto the floor. I think to myself, Am I dreaming or is this for real?
I slowly get up, knowing my greeting has to be proper. There is something different about this girl. When my gaze catches hers, it feels like nobody else is in the room.
She flips her hair back and puts some errant strands behind her ears. She is wet, and the water slides down her face. It touches her lips; but she is so cold that her lips won't stop trembling. Her eyes are so big and beautiful that for a moment, I fear I can't breathe. She slowly walks towards me and smiles.
"Hi. I didn't know anyone else was here other than Father Matt or the sisters."
I am still as frozen as ice, but I continue to stare at her, speechless, and don't even hear a word that she says. Oh, Lord! That is the prettiest smile I've ever seen.
"Excuse me, but are you okay?" she asks, waving her hands in front of my face.
Still staring at her, I reply, "Yes... yes, I am!"
"I'm sorry for disturbing you."
"No. It's fine, and you are just fine!" I whisper.
"What? What did you say?"
"Nothing! I'm sorry—I forgot to introduce myself." I look down and slowly look up again before saying my name. "I'm Eli—Eli Kavanagh—and you are?"
I don't miss the hesitation on her face at first, but she gives me a smile and says, "Samantha! But everyone calls me Sam."
"Samantha, I mean, Sam—that's a very beautiful name I must say." I lift my hand towards her with the towel. "Here, dry yourself off a little; we don't want you getting sick." She gently accepts the towel.
"Thanks. I'm pretty sure this won't dry me completely as it's already a little wet." She giggles.
She starts wiping her face and slowly works her way towards her hair. I can't take my eyes off her. Fireworks are blasting off in my stomach. Am I dreaming or is she really here in front of me? Those questions don't even make sense to me now. I stand there staring and simply admire her.
"Eli?" she says.
"Uh, what did you say?"
"I'm sorry; did I scare you?"
"No, sorry, it's just ... nothing. What were you going to ask me?"
"Okaaay, as I was saying before, I don't think I've ever seen you here until now. Did you just start move here?"
"No, I haven't ever been here before. Honestly, I normally don't even go to church. That's how I am; let's just say the whole church thing and I don't go together."
"So, Sir Eli, what made you come out here in this ugly storm?"
"I was just…" I trail off and never finish my sentence and hope that Samantha doesn't pick up on that. "May I ask what you are doing here this fine evening?"
"Well, Eli, I come here all the time but today, my car broke down a few blocks down the road."
"So you weren't planning to come to church tonight but yet, here you are?" I ask with one of my cheeky laughs.
"Nope, I wasn't. In fact, I was just passing by. Seems like my car has a mind of her own," she giggles. "I was actually hoping to find Father Matt here tonight. Have you seen him?"
"Well, my dear, no, I haven't seen Father Matt tonight. May I ask why you are looking for him?"
"Uh, I was hoping he could help me by fixing my car or at least, taking a look at it for me." She laughs gently. Her laughter is music to my ears.
"Well, Miss Samantha, you are in luck tonight." I slowly clear my throat while looking down on the floor. "You know, I am great with cars." I say, rubbing my chin and looking straight at her. I would practically live inside them if I could. "Mmm-mmm . . . cars, I just love cars." I slowly put my hand down. "I know we just met but if you'd like me to, I could check it out for you. I can't promise anything until I see your car but I'm pretty sure I can fix whatever is wrong with it."
"Um . . . What do you mean by fixing the car? It's not something that just anyone can do, you know," Samantha replies with a tinge of sarcasm in her tone.
"Yes, yes, and yes! I know what I am talking about. FYI… I am a mechanic by trade, you see. Therefore, I am very qualified—could you say that too?"
"Oh, I see—I am sorry. In that case, please, I must ask you to look at my car. Pretty please?" Samantha says, trying not to fall over her words. "I may regret this in the morning, but for right now, I will just go with my heart. It's not like you're planning to kill me or anything—I hope," she adds. Her face looks like a little girl and her eyes blink a couple of times, slaying me inside with those enchanting, hazel eyes.
"Maybe you shouldn't judge a person by just their looks!" I tease before ending with one of my sexy laughs.
She shakes her head and says, "Shouldn't we be going now?"
I nod my head and agree, "Yeah, let's do this thing, shall we?" I point towards the door." She smiles at me and puts her towel on the bench.
"Okay, I'm ready whenever you are."
"But your hair is still very wet; you sure you don't want to keep the towel a little bit longer or maybe even take it with you?"
"Nope, I'm fine," Samantha says. "Let's just go, please."
"Ladies first, but if you don't want to, then I will go first!" I say with a little laugh.
"Nah, I'm fine. I must say, you are the perfect gentleman, or at least putting on a good show of it."
I watch her walk toward the door and I follow her, rushing past her and opening it.
"Hey, watch it, would ya!" she says in a soft voice after I accidently bump her shoulder on my way.
"Oh, sorry... I am very clumsy tonight. Please don't get mad at me." I give her a genuinely sorry look.
"Ho-hum, it's okay, Eli—I'm just playing with you. Again, it's very sweet of you to open the door for me."
We both walk through the door together. Samantha is slightly in the lead as I follow right behind her.
"Which way is your car?"
"It's on your left hand side."
"Okay, let's go then, shall we!?"
We both start walking towards her car. There is no further talking or anymore conversation between us. I am deep in my thoughts, thinking about Samantha like a creeper. LOL!
As we round the corner and start to make our way towards the place where she left her vehicle. A glint of white catches my attention from the corner of my eye. I carefully look in that direction and notice she is smiling and her gorgeous, white teeth are glowing in the moonlight. I keep walking beside her, smitten by her pearlescent smile and fail to notice the low shrubbery
growing at the edge of the path. My feet get tangled up inside the brambles as badly as if I were caught in a hunter's snare. Tripping, I stumble forwards, landing most ungracefully at her feet on my hands and knees. "Cazzo!" I blurt out.
She quickly kneels down beside me and I can see the genuine concern on her face as she reaches for my arm and asks, "Are you okay?" in a gentle, caring voice.
I raise my eyes to her face; and my breath catches in my throat. Look at this amazing creature, I think to myself. Her car is broken down, she doesn't know me at all, I am a total stranger to her, and yet, she seems so concerned for my wellbeing.
"Hello. Earth to Eli! Are you okay?" she says in a melodic singsong tone but the undercurrent of sincere concern comes through loud and clear.
Shaking my head to refocus my attention on the current situation, I beam a smile at her and say, "I am so sorry about that. I am such a klutz. I really should have been watching where I was walking instead of..." my voice trails off as I realize what I almost say out loud. "I should be more careful."
"Are you sure you're all right? Or do you make it a habit of falling at the feet of every girl you meet?" she asks with a laugh before flashing me another one of her killer smiles. I am pretty sure if I could, I would be blushing like a beet. Thankfully, the darkness and her good humor manage to let it pass unnoticed. She stands up and shakes her head at me, saying, "C'mon—get up—you're supposed to be helping me fix my car! Not lying around on the footpath."
I stand up and brush myself off, noticing the small rip on the left knee of my jeans. Looking through it, I see the skin on my knee is unbroken. Before Samantha can turn around, I quickly say, "Let's get going before that nasty storm comes back."
"Yeah, we should be going," she agrees slowly. "Here she is—exactly where I left her."
"Her...?"
"Yes, my car. I know that's sounds crazy, but I love my car very much. And I am just silly enough to name her."
"What's her name?"
"Mimi. She is the best car I've ever had."
"Wow! That's a very interesting name," I smirk. "I think it's sweet that you named your car, actually. I do the same thing with my babies, too. So there you go! We're not crazy after all; we're awesome," I finish with a laugh. "It just shows by how much we love our cars, right?"
"You know what? You're right! Great minds really do think alike, I guess," she answers with a smile.
"Anyway, let's see what's wrong with Mimi, shall we?"
"Okay, I'll pop the hood for you."
Samantha opens the door very gently and sits in the driver's side, then she leans down and pulls the lever. Lifting the hood of her car, I bend over to get a closer look at the engine.
"Try starting Mimi up," I call out. She turns over the engine and I immediately guess to myself, Hmm…sounds like it's the timing belt.
"Uh... I know exactly what the problem with your car is, Samantha."
"Really? You're not messing with me, are you?" she jokes.
"Nope, I'm being serious, girl. Come here, and I'll explain and show it to you in plain English."
Samantha quickly gets out of her car and stands next to me, leaning down to take a look at where I am pointing. Her hair is still a little wet, and as she bends forward, a drop of water falls on my hand. When I look up, I see her hair is in the way, blocking me from seeing her properly.
"I can't see what you're holding or showing me, Eli."
"Why don't you move that hair off your face?" I ask as I reach out toward her face and tuck her hair behind her ears. It feels like I am dying, and my hands are shaking. My whole body is relishing this moment. I catch myself daydreaming about her, the exquisite perfection of her skin, and the way it feels against mine, and how her espresso curls fall past her shoulders. The way I want her… admittedly, they are improper thoughts, but they consume my mind, filling it with images of Samantha that drive me crazy. I only met her this once. But once is all it takes for me to fall. And I fall hard!
Samantha moves back a little. I sense her pulling away; I withdraw my hand swiftly and think, that's it. She's about to tell me to leave and forget about everything. Oh, no! What have I
done? And what was I thinking in the first place? Those thoughts race through my head like a
greyhound chasing after the rabbit decoy at the track. That's it. I've already lost a girl before I could even ask her out. How stupid does a guy have to be to do that in just one night? Heck, in less than an hour, really!
But then, a sweet, gentle voice says, "Thanks! Why didn't I think of that, huh? By the way, what was that? What you were pointing to with your hand?"
"Good question; it's the timing belt. Looks like it's more than a little worn out and that's why it keeps coming loose and finally popped out as you were driving."
"But I don't understand why. It's not an old car."
I try to explain it a bit more. "When the timing belt wears out, it starts to produce a high–pitched shrieking or whirring sound. Basically, the belt can no longer hold on properly, and as it slips, it makes those noises. Anyway, how about I call you a cab so you can go home and I'll take Miss Mimi to my garage where I can fix her sagging belt first thing in the morning?"
"Okay! That sure does sound like a good idea. Buuut, how do you plan to take her to your garage, Eli? It's not like you can find a tow truck driving around at this hour. I don't want to stay here all night for my car in this ugly weather. No way! Maybe I should stay with you, you know, until you can find someone to help you—"
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" I stop her before she can finish her sentence. "Hang on for a second there, tiger. You don't have to do anything but go home. I'll take care of everything here, okay? I'm pretty sure I can find a way to take her with me, but for now, you should go home. It's pretty late already and I am sure your parents must be worried."
"Okay, okay. Here's the key, and please, promise me to take good care of her?"
"Yeah, I sure will. Don't you worry about a thing, she'll be fine with me. Trust me!" I smile at her, adding, "Here, take my business card. It has my personal cell phone number, the store number and the store's address." I reach inside my jeans pocket and pull out one of my business cards.
"Here, Samantha!" I offer her my card.
"Thanks, Eli. Thanks for everything." She slowly accepts my business card from my hand.
Taking out my cell phone, I call a cab for Samantha.
"Okay, thanks; I'll see you soon." I end the call. We stand there for a while silently
waiting. Samantha has her head down and is wearing a cute, little smile. I admire her beauty inconspicuously, looking at her in a sideways glance just in case she happens to look up. All of a sudden, and totally out of the blue, I feel the pressure building behind my forehead, signifying the onset of a bad headache. I just look down and don't even say one word to her. Shaking my head few times, when I look up again, my raging headache is gone... just gone! Huh!...This never happened before to me, I think to myself without dwelling upon it further.
Nothing can bring me down tonight—nothing at all. I am just about to say something to Samantha when I spot a yellow cab pulling up right beside me. The cab doesn't take too long to arrive. That's always the way, isn't it? When you are in a rush for a cab, they are nowhere to be found. But when you want it to take a little longer in order to spend more time with someone, the cab is always prompt!
"Well, your ride is here!" I walk towards the door and open it for her to sit inside.
"C'mon Samantha it won't wait for you forever, you know." Samantha isn't moving from her car at all. I can't see why but she just stands there frozen. "Samantha? Can you hear me?"
She seems sort of startled from the daydream that she was in as she replies. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking. Yeah, sure—I'm coming." She walks very slowly towards the cab and sits inside. I gently close the door. She opens her side window.
"Goodbye, Eli!" She smiles warmly at me.
"No. No goodbyes tonight. For me, saying goodbye means we'll never see each other again, but saying see you next time is better. It implies that we'll meet again. Which I believe we will, first thing in the morning, right? Unless you decide to leave without your car?" I chuckle mischievously.
"No, no, no! I'll be there first thing in the morning; don't you worry about that."
"Okay then, it's settled. I'll see you next time?" I finish with a giggle.
"Yes sir, see you next time—like tomorrow morning."
"That's much better, you're a quick learner."
"Eli?" she says, half pausing and sounding unsure if she should continue. "Thank you so much for everything. I am very glad I met you." And she smiles at me again.
"No problems. It was my pleasure, madam!" I reply, tapping on top of the roof of the cab and saying to the driver—"You can take her home now."
The cab gently pulls away from the curb and drives away from Mimi and me. I stand there and watch until the taillights melt away into the night. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. And, a terrible weight has been placed on my shoulders. Like a giant boulder is suddenly hoisted on top of me and I can't straighten up or even catch my breath entirely. I feel like running after her and stopping her, begging her not to leave. My thoughts are erratic, even crazy, inside my mind. Why? Why would she want to stay with me? I am just helping her fix her car and that's all. She doesn't even know me; I have no clue whether or not she has a boyfriend. Thinking about that, starts to bring me a little down. My head reminds me that I should be happy because I am seeing her tomorrow morning, and hopefully, very early in the morning. But my heart still wants to see if she gets home safely. Maybe, just maybe, I should follow her and make sure she makes it home okay. What am I thinking? I need to be a good boy and respect her privacy—for now, at least.
I just can't afford to make any mistakes that could risk losing her. I have never felt this way before in my life. I take a deep breath and shake my head as I turn around.
"Ugh...that's right… you! I forgot all about you, didn't I, Miss Mimi? Now the question is: how will I get you to my garage?" I am speaking to Mimi as if I expect her to give me an answer. After playing around with the engine a little longer, I manage to start the car. Boy, it isn't the smoothest ride to the garage. The car is noisy and emits a high-pitched shrieking and whirring sound all the way. But thankfully, it is later in the evening, and the traffic is surprisingly light, which allows me to finally return to my garage without further incident.