O.o…Damn, this is so freaking disturbing, I have no idea why I even wrote it down, much less why I'm going to post it.I was looking through my folder, and came across this. It's amazing because I didn't write it all that long ago. WARNING: HIGHLY DISTURBING, INCLUDES FLASHBACKS OF RAPE; damn it, what is wrong with me and rape? I hate rape! Note: I own none of the characters.

Gasps and moans could be heard from the next room to the Kazekage's office. A makeshift bed had long been placed there for the sleepless kage; and now, not only was the Kage lying upon the thick pillows and thin blankets, but another man laid beneath him, the one making the moans and gasps. Flooded by the pleasure, the pain that came with having the redhead about to possess him, claim him in every way, he was incoherent to the world around him. So entirely focused on the hands drifting over his body, the lips that suckled at his skin and teeth that bit down rough and gentle on so many different sensitive areas, that he did not hear the voices at first. He paid no attention to the disturbance in this surreal moment; he was about to give himself to his most special person. Nothing but this moment mattered; because Gai had long since told him that the first time does not mean the first, but the person that you wish to be the first!

So close to the edge; slender, long fingers pumping into him, opening him up for the final penetration, the voices were becoming overwhelming.

'"You filthy little manwhore! Are you so eager for my cock that you snivel for it?" A small child cried out, his eyes closed in pain; he held no erection of his own, but only terror and scars to beat back the actions happening against him. He shoved again at the meaty shoulders of the grown adult violating him, screaming for an end. Harsh laughter seemed to echo throughout the colorless room the small boy was kept in. "I thought you would be."'

"Lee, what's wrong?"

The raven-haired teen stopped the violent thrashing he had not even been aware of starting, staring up at the love of his life with fear and pain. A sob escaped his throat as he realized that he had confused reality with the past as he had done in so many nightmares. Blood escaped scratch wounds and the blue-green eyed man wiped at blood sleeping out of his mouth, watching the darker boy beneath him with caution. The blood was a testimony to how much the read-head trusted him; no longer without the demon tanuki, but also with much more control over it. Just because he had control over him now, did not mean that he would allow such weak attacks to land a hit. Another sob escaped the ebony-like boy as a trembling hand reached up and traced a long, red mark without touching it. He was glad he had not hurt his most special person too much, but why was he so weak? This looked more like an inexperienced civilian had been overpowered but gave one last try anyway; these were not the defense tactics of a fully trained leaf jounin.

He curled into a ball, his head landing softly against the pale chest looming above him. "Please forgive me Gaara…I-I thought I could…I thought I could…!" He gave out another sob, hands that were no longer clad in white bandages clasping tightly onto his ears. By looking straight down from this position, he could see that Gaara's erection was just now flagging, still slightly pointing toward Lee as if accusing him of the same thing so many others had.

'"aw, it's alright little man." A whimper met the soothing voice, two large black eyes shut tightly as his head was held firmly in place, entirely against his own will. "I'm almost done, and then you can play with this new teddy bear I bought you." The small boy attempted to shove himself backward, away from the erection that would not let him breathe, his mouth was stretched so far open, he had long since began crying. "I can take more pictures of you again…looking so soft and innocent." A scream was muffled by the invading force as his black, dull hair was jerked painfully. "I bet that's your favorite way to act. Like a fucking angel."

"I am so filthy!"

He shoved at Gaara, his body twisting and shoving as he tried to escape the weight holding him onto the soft pillows. Because he was Rock Lee, the greatest taijutsu master that was known to exist in the five greatest countries, the redhead was almost immediately unseated, falling in beside his dark-haired lover. But he was strong, he was intelligent, and Lee was not getting away before explaining what was going on. Lee had hardly sat up from the cushions, tears dampening his vision, before he was slammed right back down. Something made a rasping sound throughout the room, a feeling like sandpaper clung to the raven-haired teens body. His eyes widened drastically, panic fully setting in.

'A small boy, covered in scratches and bruises from the last customer, looked up with angry, pained black eyes at the next person to enter. Could this be what the whole world was like? Could a person honestly be bought? Even against their will such as he was? No, the world may have evil in it, but surely there was some good. At some point, someone had to save him, right? Even if it was death, he did not mind so much at this point. He made no sound as the older man forced him to look upward by cupping his small chin and twisting it up. He was done asking for a mercy that was not coming. He had been done with it for weeks. A smirk descended upon the other mans face. "Oh, is that how we're going to be tonight?" He was shoved back, his back hitting the filthy wall behind him, one black eye closing to hide the wince. Finally, one tear escaped his other eye, watching as knuckle braces were pulled out of black, cargo pants. But he made not one sound the whole night, for that, in the morning, he cried for joy.'

Lee nearly screamed in pain that he was not physically experiencing; his black, haunted eyes darting around the room. What had been that sound? It had sounded too much like skin beating against skin, it felt too real. When he felt his own face throbbing on one cheek, he looked up at the redhead, towering over him, but not on him. The ebony-like boy took a few deep, shuddering breaths before it finally dawned on him that Gaara's raised hand and the throbbing on the side of his face had something to do with each other. He looked up with confusion in his eyes.

"G-Gaara, why did you hit me?"

His entire body was trembling with the inability to escape. His face was red, not by desire or embarrassment, but by tear stains. He was almost entirely oblivious to these telling details, even unaware of how his eyes screamed 'You're killing me!' He was trying his hardest to try and act as if he remembered nothing of his past, trying to regain the lust that had been riding him earlier with his jinchuuraki lover. He did not want to remember, he wanted to forget. He was nineteen now! These memories should not be bothering him still!

'The same small boy rested in the scrawny arms of a woman who looked nothing like him, their appearances were nearly polar opposites. "Mommy, please don't let them come here anymore! Tell them to go away!" Obsidian eyes stared up into slimy, brown colored eyes, his own pleading for mercy for the first time in months. His Mommy could make them go away, he knew she could!'

"You do not get to ask the questions, Lee." Said boys smile immediately faltered. He tried to play it off and pasted an entirely fake smile on his face, the muscles in his face being stretched so far in their attempt to be convincing that Lee's eyes were forced shut.

"Gaara; the last time I heard you say such a thing in a threatening manner, you were about to-"

"Interrogate someone? Like how I'm about to interrogate you?"

Lee went pale, the smile slipping into a look of absolute torture. He made struggles against the sand restraints that he knew would be fruitless. Any more force, and Gaara would be Sabaku kyuuing him.

"No." Gaara snarled, his eyes searching through the panicking eyes. One pale hand reached out and grasped a darker, more scarred hand. The scowl died from his lips as he looked down at the teen beneath him, appearing as if he were about to die. "Lee…please." He leaned down ever so slowly, aware of every flinch and sob that escaped the usually strong man. Obsidian eyes darted to look into his own sea-green eyes, lighter with pain of his own. "You will tell me what you are hiding from me." The press of their lips was almost too soft to label it as a touch much less a kiss.

The moment Lee was aware of the lips retreating, he snapped his entire body up just so he could reach them again. He pushed against the retreating lips until they were fighting within Lee's mouth, teeth clashing and tongues fighting deeper into the others mouth. Lee needed something to hold him down; something to pull him out of the sludge that was his past. Again, he had was forced to fight to sit up as the other pair of lips moved back; he whimpered as he touched nothing. He put his hands into fists, his nails biting into his palms until he could feel the prick of the slicing of his own skin. He had never cut himself; never. The temptation had been there; no one else forcing him to bleed, no; he was going to make himself bleed when he wanted to! But he had never done it. The moment that knife had touched his veins, he had thrown it from himself, feeling so very filthy with the decision he had almost made. But this pain was necessary, something to anchor him in this world, and not the one created by his mother…

'She smiled down at him, her face seemingly warm and understanding. One filthy, scratched hand brushed through the shoulder-length hair of the small, hopeful boy. "I thought you said that you wanted to help mommy. Look around you, honey; once we are out of here, then I will make sure that no one ever touches you again." She held the now-sobbing child to her small chest, her eyes ugly as she watched the small, shaking shoulders. "We will both have to go along with it for a little while longer. Oh, but do I have a gift for you!" A scowl instantly overtook her happy features as her small child went tense in her arms, feeble arms tried to push her away. She shoved him from her, causing him to fall off the chair they were sitting on and land hard on his elbow. He whimpered from where he lied, looking up at his 'mother' with terrified eyes. "You ungrateful brat! I try so hard for you!" The scrawny woman looked with pure hatred at the cowering boy. "You do not amount to anything! I should have had an abortion when they first gave me the choice. But, no! I thought that you would be an obedient, respectful child that would bring me luck." The sound of a skin hitting skin was deafening in the small room. "You've been nothing but bad luck! Why don't you just get the hell out and stop wasting my time!" The boy looked horrified up at his mother. Quickly, one hand still holding his cheek from where the force of his mothers hand had split the skin; he wrapped his other arm firmly around her legs.'

"No, mommy! I'll behave from now on, I swear!"

"Lee, tell me." Finally, a wail escaped the trapped boy, tears leaking freely like a creek. He looked up at the man who had very nearly made him into something other than what others had called him.

"I cannot tell you; you would hate me…p-please…do n-not make me tell you!"

Lee turned his head away, attempting to hide it in his own shoulder because Gaaras was too far away. There was a startling moment of silence, before Lee gasped, unable to stop his body from reacting even as his mind was still caught in a net of abuse and hatred. He forced his eyes open so he could watch the hand that trailed over his chest, smooth of all hair to cut down on drag. The hand moved to the right, rubbing against a pink nub found there. Gaara's head descended upon the neglected nipple as his other hand played with the hardening nub. Lee gasped; arching into the touch.

'"No! I do not want this!" A snarl met the declaration. A yelp escaped the small boy as a hand beat into his face.

"Stop!" Lee twisted his body, now fully crying. How was he to start another life from those days if he could not start his new life with his most special person? Someone such as Gaara needed someone strong, smart, beautiful… and innocent. Lee was the farthest thing from that.

Against his command, the hands did not stop; instead, they moved lower. Eyes the color of peridot stared up the long, tan body to the horror crossing his dark-haired lovers face. He released the skin he had been holding in a tender nibble, raising his head only slightly to acknowledge the boys wishes, before returning to what he had been doing.

"Tell me, Lee."

Lee sobbed, his mind in a war with his body and heart; he loved Gaara, he wanted Gaara, but his past wanted Gaara to leave. And the past was so overbearingly powerful…he could hardly even remember that he was with the one he loved instead of with the men who had forced themselves upon him.

"No!"

He screamed, both in pleasure and terror, as a tongue flickered over his inner thigh, his head thrown back in ecstasy and disbelief.

"Yes." Hands raked over the ebony-eyed boys stomach, moving so that they could feather over his sides. Instantly, the other boy began to squirm.

He was trying to stop himself; he could not tell, not even if his own life were in danger. He could not bear to have Gaara look at him such as so many others he had told looked at him. Only Gai had ever fully accepted him… Gaara was not Gai; they were two entirely different people. One of them was the one who had helped heal him, the other was the one he wanted to be with for forever and years after that. But how could he fight the past without fighting Gaara?

He almost stopped breathing as all touching abruptly stopped. He looked up towards redhead, confused and panicking as the other crawled off the cushions and began to pull his clothes on. The bonds holding him where he was released him, giving him his freedom again. He could run now, anywhere that was away from here…

"And so; the amazing thing called love is a lie."

Lee, having grabbed onto his green summer jumpsuit the moment he had been able to hold it between trembling fingers, went deathly still, his breath stopping in his lungs and his heart thumping to a stop. It felt almost as if he turned in slow motion to look at the back of his would-have-been lover. No, there was no way the other could be serious, could he be?

"Wh-what? Why would you say that?" The ebony-like boy's voice was raspy and quiet. His eyes were focused on the pale back of the redheads, begging for a reason for such an impossible statement. He had said it as if he believed it…

Eyes that were colored a blue-grey looked at him coldly over a pale shoulder, before turning away again to shrug on the black, mesh shirt. Now decent, he spun around and stalked toward the leaf jounin, his jaw set in an irritated way.

"If we were in love, you wouldn't be afraid to tell me anything." He loomed away from the stricken teen, walking from one end of the small room to the other; one hand reached through red locks and gripped, pulling slightly in agitation. Then, he again fixed the pale boy with a glare. "I would bet my status as Kazekage that your beloved sensei already knows. It's amazing, how you say so many times that you love us both in different ways, but with equal force, yet he's always favored."

Lee looked away from the furious male, his bottom lip trembling. How could he tell Gaara? He would be disgusted for sure; of that Lee was positive. 'But he has a point, if I told Gai-Sensei, then does he not have equal right to know?' He clenched the fabric of his clothes between his hands, his head bowing down underneath the knowledge and hatred that had plagued him for years. He would do anything for his love, even if it killed him. He pulled himself into the short, green clothes; when he had done that, he went to the closest window, looking down from the large, circular window. He would be able to be half-way back to Konoha before Gaara would be able to get over the disgust of what he had just done to get the nin to call him back. Or, at least he hoped so…

'For a child who grew up knowing love and protection, it would be entirely confusing, and possibly disgusting, to them that someone would rather live in a hell that had killed others in a matter of days instead of living where life went on and where you could find someone to care. But this small boy had never entered that world; the only protection he had ever known was his mother, even if she never protected him against the worst of the pain. But she was all he had! If she left him behind…then someone else would own him; not just buy him such as these people did, but own him. More than one of them had threatened to do just that to get him to corporate on more than once occasion. Always, afterwards, he could be found as a sobbing little thing hiding underneath his own bed; unable to face what he had done. Sometimes, you can know that something is bad without knowing how to make it better. You could cling to the very thing that made life the wasteland that was destroying you, but how would you know the difference between that wasteland and the mountains that touch the falling sun once dusk is about to fall? You can know that something fantastic is happening outside of your window right now, but would you go if all you could see was the darkness of the shadows and hear the howling wind?'

"I was kicked out of my house when I was seven. It was the most horrifying thing that had ever before happened to me because I knew nothing of the real world. When I first felt the grass beneath my feet, I sat down and cried for hours. I learned something new every millisecond while I experienced freedom for the first time. I… had to distract myself from the hunger a-and the pain…"

The agitated movements of the other man had stopped, now he stood with his back to Lee, his body stiff; but Lee did not know that, he was looking at the place where the moon should be. It was the new moon, one of the reasons why Lee had wanted to make love tonight: new moon, new beginning. It would have been more perfect if it had been first of January, but that had been too far off for Lee to wait for. He continued his story with no interruption.

"I…I was found by an elderly woman…she took me to an orphanage and I wanted to die more than ever…Everything was painful, and I could feel the older boys looking at me…I never slept because I was sure that something bad would happen if I did…Once you are a whore, it marks you like a brand…"

The last part was more of whisper, a last hope that Gaara would not hear. Across the room, Gaara's head snapped to look over his own shoulder, his mouth parting slightly and hands clenching into themselves. He looked for some sign of joking in the set of Lee's body, unable to see his face, and saw nothing that would indicate that this was not real. Lee believed what he was saying. 'Whore? Where the hell would Lee get something like that? Whore…what fucking bastard would ever make Lee believe he was such a thing? Why am I not over there holding him?'

"I…I was unable to bear the presence of other people by the time I was ten. I was the child that everyone at the academy tried to turn into their own whipping boy. One day, I just snapped…I ran from them and never went back. I wanted…needed to be something important! No, not important; equal to the people around me. I wanted to be stronger so that no one could ever hurt me such as that again!…Not months after running from the school, I was found by a man who did not mean me harm; he said he respected my determination…and after a little while, he asked me if I would like to move in with him…I was so, so terrified. I-I broke down and cried right then, begging him not to hurt me. I was just finally healing over, I was finally learning how to live; and he made me terrified that my greatest nightmare were coming true…"

Lee took in a deep breath, rattling his lungs for air that had long since evaporated. He did not want to talk anymore; would he be able to escape now? No, not until he had explained so that Gaara knew. He had to do this, for both of them.

"…To be sold to another…instead of just being bought for a night." He heard something break behind him, but he refused to turn around; his stomach was rupturing, signaling that he was going to throw up if he continued talking. "I-I…I loved my mother! I did, but she…she was always speaking of how there was so little money. She was always telling me how I had to pitch in so that we could get by for the next month or so. She would…she said that she had too…rent me out every night; sometimes during the day if it was requested…This lasted until she threw me out…I tried so hard to stop fighting them; I hated how they would hurt me, but I never wanted to leave mother. In the end, she is the one who forced me away, out into the cool spring."

He lifted his face up into the soft breeze that had just blown in through the open window, almost like a hand caressing him in apology. His body had long since become cold from the desert nights chill, not that he was aware of it to begin with. His fingers began to form groves into the sill of the window, he did not want to look behind him; not with all the sounds of things breaking. Funny, when they had first came in here, there had been no glass; just some cabinets and cushions….

"I-I told Gai-Sensei what had happened to me. I had told one of the helpers at the orphanage, and she had…she had been disgusted. I…I did not want the first man to be kind to me to discover my filthy secret after I had begun living with him…he did not take it well…but he was not angry at me either."

He looked down to the ground, way below where he stood. Small spots of wetness appeared onto the ledge of where he was leaning over.

"The woman…was not my mother. I had been from an orphanage from the day of my birth till I was three when she came and took me to her home. She had never sold herself before, or done any other form of work. I was all of the income she was receiving….the reason she threw me out was because she had found a new boy to take my place…only one spare room in the place she was inhabiting….I found this all out only days after telling Gai-Sensei what my past had been. After I had told him my story, he took me to his home and put me to sleep, against my will, but I agree that I needed it, he went to speak to the Hokage who sent a team to see if what I said was true. It was a small team: only Gai-Sensei and Kakashi-san…but they are the only two that know what my childhood had been like…well, only somewhat…."

Lee stared blankly into the night, his mind numb from all of the words he had uttered that he had sworn to never speak of again. Behind him, Gaara was eerily silent; Lee could believe that he was alone in the room if not for the overwhelming wave of unbidden chakra attempting to swamp his senses. But he was not done yet, just a little more…one more bit, and then he could run. He did not want to look at Gaara when the redhead realized that he was too filthy to even waste time on… And the healing had been so difficult to; learning to trust again, welcoming others in. Now, now it just might not matter…

"I never told them what had happened to me…all they could learn from me were from the scars on my body and the small room that I had been kept in…"

'I am done, I can not say another word…it feels as if I have attempted to swallow all of Gai-Sensei's dumplings at one time… I am so sorry, Gaara…'

One hand braced against the ledge, Lee began to swing himself up and out- and was thrust right back into the room. A tendril of sand held him by his chest, more wrapping around his entire body. Struggling wildly so that he did not have to see the expression that would be on his most special persons face, it took a moment to realize that the sand was stroking him, not holding him. Breathing hard, he looked at it in confusion as it began to cling to parts of his body and solidify, becoming heavier and harder to move in; the sand armor… He looked up, hardly believing it, Gaara was attempting to protect him…from his past?

"Gaara…why?" 'Why are you not disgusted with me? why do you not hate me? why are you still loving me?'

He met blue-green eyes that were not disgusted; they were furious and, at the same time, hurt.

"Lee." A pale hand reached down to where he was being held, reaching through the thin layer of sand to the cloth beneath and jerked once so that Lee shot up and onto Gaara. During his separation from the tanuki, Gaara had had to become stronger to be able to protect his village; stronger, faster, and more skilled in both genjutsu and taijutsu. Now, with said tanuki back, the power he obtained could be referred to as more terrifying then when he had only been a small, murderous child. Sometimes, it still surprised Lee that he could beat the redhead in any match of strength…most of the time.

Lips whispered over the ebony-like boys throat, bringing no reaction from the numb boy. In a darker attempt, he bit at the flesh, causing a flinch to go through the body against his own. He looked straight into dark, obsidian eyes, having gotten taller to the point that he was of equal height to the jounin, and attacked soft, pretty lips; meant only for his touch.

Lee moaned into it, lust and love being dragged reluctantly from the depths of his mind. He placed his arms around Gaaras shoulders, pulling the other closer until he could feel the heat radiating through the mesh of the redheads shirt. When the hands were again reaching beneath Lee's belt line, the jounin had almost believed that maybe that was what he had needed to do; tell Gaara of his past in order to conquer it. When brutal accusations and sickeningly teasing voices began whispering in his head, he whined, shoving at the others shoulders.

"I-I can not…I thought I could move on!…I am so s-sorry Gaara-"

Lee focused on the hand covering his mouth, before looking back up into the dominating eyes of the redhead.

"You will not apologize." The hand was taken away. Lee instinctively opened his mouth to apologize for upsetting the other, but was caught off by the infamous glare of the Kazekage. "I have waited seven years. Holding a bit longer until you can accept me into your body will not kill me." Something flashed through his eyes. "I am a very impatient man, but I have long since learned when something needs time to function right." Lee's hips were held in pale hands, pulling him only a little closer so that they could both feel the redheads erection through the Kage's pants. Gaara threw his head back and cursed at the friction while Lee gasped, moving his hips forward into the feeling, his erection very slowly coming to life again, having died with the voices that had now since stopped. Before he could be fully erect again, Gaara had pulled away, leaving them both flushed and wanting.

Gaara reached out and brushed his hand over the bruise now forming on Lee's face from where he had had to beat the other into consciousness. If anyone were to understand hell as a child, it would be the Kazekage. He did not have to like that Lee had gone through a hell that could equal his own, or even surpass it, he hated it very much. Lee was innocent, virginal, beautiful. He was not filthy, or whorish, or ugly. The first two he had heard from the jounin himself, the third while he was doing rounds around either village, listening as others pitied the poor boy despite him not actually looking that bad. Gaara had always wanted the light that shined through Lee.

After a moment of separation, something occurred to Lee that rocked his world. He began to smile, something small, but real. "Gaara…you have wanted me for seven years?" He looked up to gauge the reaction of the other, his black eyes lighting with an inner joy that had died at the same time the first voice had entered his head this night.

Having been walking away from Lee to grab his coat, about to lead them both from the room to the Kages home instead, where they had been sleeping in the same bed but never had made love, Gaara stopped. When he turned slightly so as to look at the partially naked man watching him with a small smile, possession was written on his face like a warning sign.

"You have been mine ever since we have first fought. You just never knew it."

Lee gave the slightest chuckle. "Oh? I do not remember you claiming me then, Gaara." Of course, his reaction to attempting to make love tonight had turned disastrous, attempting to make love only four years after the torture would have killed him. But he refused to bother himself with such things. He had to focus on more important stuff! Such as why Gaara had been wanting him for seven years.

Gaara scowled at the leaf jounin, putting the long, red coat on as he stared straight into the others eyes. "If you were to have a x-ray, you would discover a foreign substance lodged into the bone and still flowing through your blood system, unable to be digested or removed because of its small size."

Lee's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "What did you put in me?"

"Sand." Lee was not as surprised as he felt he should have been, but it had seemed like the obvious answer.

Of course Gaara would have claimed him in his own way…in a way that no one else could have ever done.

"Let's go home now, Lee…out the door."

Lee walked to Gaara and embraced him. "Hai, Gaara…" Home… where the heart was surrounded by objects or people that are welcoming or 'warm' or comforting… In other words: Gaara.

XD Happy ending! I would not have been able to do it any other way.