Making Mountains Out of Badgermole Hills

Pro-Bending Circuit Round One: Reunited
Position/Team: Earthbender, Capital City Catgators
Prompts: Donut, Ba Sing Se, Animal AU
Word Count: 2,972
Bonus: Use of element, team collab

A/N: Follow the link in my profile to the competition and find the Catgators' submissions for Round One. QueenTyZula kicks off the opening drama, FanFictionKatie gives Suki's perspective that aligns with Sokka's below, and LilyAmelia ties up the ending with their reunion. LET'S GO CATGATORS!

"Let me go, you lion vultures!" Sokka wildly punched the air to no avail.

Then, someone pinned his arms to his back and removed the covering from his face. The room was dark, but he could sense golden glaring eyes watching him like an eagle hawk.

"You will pay for this, pig chicken," the scarred man snarled.

"I told you I already paid for the ticket. But there seems to be some misunderstanding, so why don't you let me go, and we can work something out?" Sokka could surely smooth talk his way out of this. He could technically pay, too, since he still had money leftover from the signing bonus he received from his new job. He was planning on buying something nice for Suki, though.

Suki. She would be as mad as a wet arctic hen when she found out Sokka was not back at the apartment.

His predator stepped in closer, stalking his prey. "I assure you that MY ticket was not for sale, so—"

"Oh, Zuzu, stop being so dramatic." Sokka immediately recognized the voice—the woman who sold him the ticket in question.

"It was her! She did it!" he yelped as the grip on his arms tightened. "Argh, let go of me, you weasel snake!"

"Normally I'm not so merciful, but you can let him go, Jee," the woman said with a sinister smirk.

As soon as Sokka was released, a pink blur bounded in from nowhere and hopped right up to him like a rabaroo. "Oooooh, are you OK, Snugglebunny-bear?"

"OK, what is going on here!?" The man—Zuzu?—roared.

"I sold your ticket, assmole. Or actually, Ty Lee did."

The girl hooked her elbow with Sokka's and nodded emphatically. "Mmm-hmm. At first, I think he wanted to go out with me, though. Didn't you, Foo Foo Cuddly Poops?"

Sokka quickly pushed away from her. "You guys are viper batshit crazy!"

"Azula! Is this true!? How dare you… you maggot slug!" Zuzu made an effort to regain his composure. "You know the theater helps calm my nerves."

"Hamlet is hardly therapeutic," the woman replied while absently examining her nails. "Everyone dies at the end."

When Zuzu continued to fume, she added, "You poor little poodle pony. Sounds like you need some of Uncle Cuckoo's calming tea."

That confirmed what Sokka already suspected by the resemblance in their features plus the heated exchange—these two were siblings. And while they were fighting like catgators and gopher dogs, he would make his getaway.

Sokka awoke sometime later, this time tied to a chair. His head throbbed as he tried to focus on his surroundings.

"Finally, the snail sloth decides to join us," Zuzu clucked from his perch among the shadows.

Though it was hazy, Sokka remembered he had been captured during his escape attempt. Clearly, he needed to switch tactics. "Look, Zuzu, I'll give you whatever you want. I just need to get back to my girlfriend. This was supposed to be a nice night out with her, and I messed up, OK? Come on, you understand. Man to man?"

"MY NAME IS NOT ZUZU! IT'S ZUKO!"

"OK, OK, geez. Calm down there, buddy. Maybe you do need some of that tea. Where is Uncle Kooky anyway?"

Zuko shifted slightly, moving into the light that trickled in from a street lamp outside a single small window. "I'm glad you asked. I don't know. But you're going to help me find him."

"WHAT!? No way. I have to get back to—"

"Your girlfriend? Um, yeah. I'm sure she'd love to find out about you badger-catcalling Ty Lee. The way I heard it, you thought she was one sexy fox kitten."

"I did NOT… I mean, she's nice, but… OK, that's just wrong. So, you're… blackmailing me?"

The only answer he received was a smug look on Zuko's half-charred face. Sokka wondered if the man accidentally burned himself while setting fire to theater seating. He was definitely unhinged. "OK, fine. Where is this uncle of yours?"

"He was last seen having tea in Ba Sing Se."

"Ba Sing Se!? That's on the other side of the world!" Sokka knew the city well since he attended university there. He met Suki at one of her KYO sorority functions during their sophomore year. Even still, they had just moved to New York. And what would he tell Suki?

"I'm so hungry, I could eat an ostrich horse!" Sokka told a random stranger at the airport. He always babbled like a badgerboon when he was nervous. After being threatened by a psycho rhino-bullheaded jerkbender, he booked the earliest flight he could get from New York to Ba Sing Se. Eating a half dozen maple bacon donuts for breakfast was probably not the best idea to quell the constant flutter of bumble flies in his stomach.

He nearly lost it when his phone rang. Suki.

"Hey there, Sugarglider-bear!" he answered in an unnaturally upbeat voice.

"Cut the crap, Sokka, where the hell are you?" his girlfriend snapped.

"Oh, I'm nowhere... Yup, nowhere. Heh." Just as he spoke, the loudspeaker announced that his flight would be boarding soon and then commenced with annoying music that could rival that of an elevator.

"Oh my god, Sokka, are you at a club? What has gotten into you?"

He could tell she was crying. "What? Naaaw, Suki. Like I said, I'm just... ya know..." He started walking toward his departure gate, struggling to juggle his phone, luggage, and last remaining donut.

"Sokka, please. Come home, we can talk!" she pleaded.

Zuko had warned him not to say anything, though. "Uh, actually Suki, I've got to go. Bye honey bun-bird!"

He probably just sealed his fate by hanging up on her. It would be the straw that broke the camel elephant's back.

Once the plane had reached a comfortable cruising altitude, Sokka took a sleeping pill and ordered a cactus juice cocktail to calm his nerves. It was a twelve-hour flight, and he would be thrilled to sleep the whole way and not have to think about his predicament.

Sokka started to drift in and out, plagued by strange thoughts such as, why do I have horns… and a tail?

"Foo Foo Cuddly Poops? Is that you?" A voice loomed overhead, and Sokka was confused because it sounded like his own. He tried to move to get a better view, but he was stuck in some sort of crevice.

The word "help" came out of his mouth like a shrill mrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeep!

I'm a… baby sabertooth moose lion?

"I'll save you!" It seemed like Aang was speaking, but Sokka found himself face to face with a flying lemur instead. The creature cocked his head to the side. "Nope. Airbending won't do. You need an earthbender. Stay here, OK? I'll be right back."

"I'm not going anywhere," Sokka grumbled.

The lemur returned with a badgermole, and their good friend Toph said in a scolding voice, "Got yourself in a tight spot, Snoozles?"

"What is UP with all the annoying nicknames today!?" Sokka shouted. "And why is everyone an animal?"

"It's not working," Toph said. "You need to relax."

"Oh, I'm relaxed. Perfectly calm. Happy as a clam fish."

"You're not a clam fish, Foo Foo. You're a moose lion," Aang the lemur said. "You need to accept who you are. Look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self, reveal itself."

Before Sokka had a chance to respond to that cryptic piece of advice, Toph the badgermole whacked Aang hard enough to send him flying.

"He doesn't need to help himself. He needs to learn to let others help him. That's the problem here. He can't get unstuck until he lets go of his pride." She separated the ground with her earthbending, but Sokka still remained lodged and immovable.

"A wise old owl crow once told me, 'There is nothing wrong with letting the people who love you help you,'" she said.

Toph started to fade away, and Sokka's cries for help became muffled, too.

Sokka awoke with a jerk and a groan. He had four more hours left of flight time, a stomachache from all the donuts he ate, and a dull pain behind his eyes presumably from his questionable cocktail. How was he supposed to find this Iroh guy in a city of 20 million people? Zuko sent him on a wild gooster chase for sure.

When he landed, Sokka took advantage of the airport wifi to text Suki and let her know he wouldn't have cell service. He wasn't sure when he would be able to talk to her, but hopefully she wouldn't worry too much. No response. He saw Toph's name in his contact list and wondered if she stayed in Ba Sing Se after college. His dream had given him cause to think, so he decided to reach out to her.

Hey. I'm in town. Know any good tea shops?

Hey Snoozles. You do realize it's 6 in the morning.

Oh. Sorry. I forgot about the time change. Later, then?

You asking me on a date?

No! I just want some tea!

Things are bad with Suki, aren't they?

Yeah.

Meet me at the Jasmine Dragon at 8.

"So, how'd you end up in the goat dog house this time, Snoozles?" Toph said with a snort.

He gaped at her. This time? He didn't remember there being other times—not too many, at least.

"What's wrong, skunk cat got your tongue?"

When he didn't answer, she continued, "Your problem has always been your pride."

Sokka opened his mouth to say something about the crazy dream he had on the plane—where she practically said the same thing—when he overheard a gravelly voice from the other side of the tea shop echo the operative word.

"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame."

Sokka considered the mystery man's statement. He didn't feel ashamed… or did he? Leaning in closer to Toph, he asked, "So, I should be more… humble, then?"

"Look, I'm no relationship expert, but are you actually listening to Suki?"

"Yes! She says she wants to do ballet together! And I don't… I'm not—"

"Maybe she just wants to spend time with you. Or maybe she needs to know you support the things she's interested in. Or maybe she wants you to shirk that macho image and be real with her. I don't know… but listen to what she is telling you, not just what she is saying."

"Well, I'll be a hog monkey's uncle. That kinda makes sense," Sokka mused. "Thanks for the advice."

Toph leaned back in her seat and folded her arms across her chest. "If you really want advice, you should talk to Uncle Iroh over there."

Sokka nearly choked on the sip of tea he had just taken. "Who!?"

"Iroh is the owner of the Jasmine Dragon. He's one of the reasons I like coming here," Toph said with a half-shrug.

"Did somebody say my name?" An older Fire Nation man now stood tableside and smiled down at them. "Oh! I didn't see you come in! How is my favorite metalbender today?"

"I'm the only metalbender, Uncle." Toph smirked. "This is my friend, Sokka. He's visiting from New York."

Iroh offered a traditional bow, then extended a hand. "My nephew moved to New York not too long ago."

The sadness in the man's voice did not go unnoticed. Sokka couldn't stand it any longer. "Is your nephew named Zuko!?"

Both Toph and Iroh were taken aback.

"What did Sparky do this time? Set the city on fire?" She laughed, but her furrowed brow made Sokka wonder if Zuko had threatened her before, too.

"Tell me," Iroh said quietly. "How is he doing?"

Sokka didn't know how to answer that question especially when the man looked at him with such genuine concern in his warm, golden gaze.

So, he settled on, "He sent me to look for you, Iroh, uhh, sir. I think he needs some—" Calming tea? "—advice."

"Ah, I see. Giving advice is a lot like preparing tea. It's all about proper timing." Iroh then gestured to the empty chair at their table. "May I?"

Toph let out a fake cough. "Well, as much as I would love opening that can of beetle worms, I gotta get going."

Iroh watched the earthbender walk out the door with a perplexed look on his face. "Wonder what that was all about."

Sokka sighed. "I think she means my girl problems."

"Ohhhhhhh." The old man's expression turned grim. "You know, women are like diamonds. Beautiful and multifaceted, but strong enough to cut glass. And the right one is a rare find indeed."

"So… are you saying I should get Suki a diamond?"

Iroh laughed. "No, not at all! Unless you want to and think she would like it, of course. In some cultures, the gift of a diamond can mean something more, so be sure to understand her expectations before making such a commitment."

"Uncle Iroh, how do I know if she's the right one? We've been fighting a lot recently."

"All couples fight, Sokka. Strength in the relationship is measured by the ability to reconcile. Do you grow closer after you've worked through a problem? Do you make each other happy? Do you make each other better?"

"I think so," Sokka answered slowly. "But I just feel kinda… stuck. Or maybe… lost?"

Iroh stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Stuck is a problem. Lost is OK, though. Life's struggles are like being in a dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of it, but as long as you keep moving, you'll come to a better place."

Between his dream, Toph's words, and Iroh's advice, Sokka had a lot to think about before knowing the next best step to take with Suki. "Thank you, sir."

"Any time, any time. You remind me a little of my nephew."

"That jerkbender? No way!" The words slipped out before he could stop himself.

Iroh only tilted his head to the side, amused by the young man's response.

"Sorry. He's uhhh… on edge," Sokka backpedaled. "I don't suppose you could go visit him, could you?"

Golden eyes sparked with pure delight. "I would love to. I've been waiting for his invitation for a long time."

Sokka didn't exactly understand why he had to be the bearer of Zuko's message, subject to blackmailing tactics instead of family members actually communicating with each other. He wasn't too disappointed about meeting Uncle Iroh, though.

Before leaving the Jasmine Dragon, Sokka logged into the tea shop's wifi to send Zuko a text.

Hey, ass rat. Found your uncle. He's coming to NY.

Yes, I know.

We good then?

Yes.

Your uncle is a pretty cool guy.

I know.

So, you won't tell Suki anything?

No.

OK. Good.

Thanks for finding him.

Sokka booked the next flight back to New York, cursing over how much time and money he'd spent on this whole ordeal.

But she's worth it, a voice in the back of his head said.

It was true, too. Sokka would do whatever it took, pay any amount, and travel far and wide to be with her. They had only been apart for a day or so, and he missed her. All of the relationship advice was hard and heavy, but he had faith that he could do it—or rather, they could do it together.

He also had four hours to kill before his flight. He didn't think a diamond was appropriate, not yet, anyway, but he wanted to buy Suki a gift. After enjoying a scrumptious quail chicken lunch, he wandered around the middle ring market, hoping something would strike him as the perfect present for his girlfriend. She was probably still mad as a buzzard wasp, so it would have to be something really special.

"They say the world is your oyster, but no treasure is finer than the pearl of the oyster crab!" a jewelry vendor announced to the crowd of passersby.

"Oyster crab?" Sokka had eaten them before and knew they were a delicacy.

"Oh, yes. She guards her prize quite fiercely. I assure you this necklace is one of a kind!" The man held up a gold chain with a shimmery pearl pendant.

"Hmm… fierce… unique… and stunning." Sokka lightly tapped his chin with his forefinger while surveying the necklace. "Yup, sounds like Suki! I'll take it!"

Sokka sighed as he settled in for his third plane ride in a week's time. He watched Ba Sing Se shrink in size through the aircraft's tiny window. He could only hope he had all his turtle ducks in a row—that Zuko would keep his promise, that Suki would like her gift, and that she would give him a second chance. He had the next twelve hours to think about how, but Sokka wanted to prove that a lizard leopard could actually change his spots. Who knew? Maybe he would take up ballet after all.

When he considered how the male dancers have to wear tights, however, he laughed out loud. Yeah right. When woolly pigs fly!