Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon and I certainly don't own We Belong by Pat Benetar.
We Belong
People all around us are realists. They insist that there is no such thing as destiny. They don't believe that the supernatural can, and does happen. Life, according to them, has everything to do with our abilities, with science and with chance. There is no destiny involved, no greater force that has the final say in the outcomes of our loves, our lives and our stories.
I'm afraid I've turned into that kind of person.
I'm not supposed to be this way. After all, I'm the child of light. My name, Hikari, means just that - "light." And even more than the simple meaning of a name, I've experienced the most incredible, unbelievable adventures with my friends. And of course, he was always there with me. The boy - now man - that I was meant to be with: my best friend, T.K. According to everyone - our friends, our brothers, even ourselves, we were supposed to be together.
And we grew together that way, as if we were meant to be one. The childish days of teasing past and we grew to become each other's companions and caretakers. By college, we were engaged. And by the time I turned 22, we were married.
Things were perfect - we were, according to Tai, Matt, Sora and everyone else, the perfect couple. But inside, we both knew something was wrong. We stopped talking and communicating. And oh, how I cried when I knew T.K. would be away working, knowing that there was something wrong with us. But I didn't know how to fix things. Whenever I started to talk to T.K., all the wrong words came out and we would fight. Or else, he would simply soothe me with a hug and kiss and tell me that everything would be alright. But it wasn't.
Many times I've tried to tell you
Many times I've cried alone
Always I'm surprised how well you
Cut my feelings to the bone
At first, it seemed absurd that I would accept the invitation. But as the hours and days past, the invitation seemed to become a reality. I was going to leave Kari, and it would probably be for good.
I tried out for a European basketball team on a whim and received a callback. I was being offered a contract. Kari, of course, wouldn't want to leave Japan. And neither did I - but this was more than an opportunity to play basketball professionally; it was an opportunity to start all over.
So when I told Kari that I was going to accept the invitation, I wasn't surprised that she didn't put up a fight. It felt as if our relationship had ended long ago and this was the final tug, the final pull to tear the bandaid off the skin. Silently, without a warning, our marriage had died.
How did it get this far? I became consumed with work and with practicing and spent less and less time with Kari. She always felt most loved when I would spend time with her, and I knew that - but I still selfishly pursued my own interests. Meanwhile, we just slowly grew apart. We stopped making love, and rarely said "I love you" anymore, even though we both knew how to put on a show in front our loved ones. But inside, we died slowly, without even putting up a fight.
How I wish that we could be "Kari and T.K." again, those young people who loved each other so much and could take on anything, as long as they were together. But sometimes, love just isn't enough.
Don't want to leave you really
I've invested too much time
To give you up that easy
To the doubts that complicate your mind
T.K. stood at the door, looking into my eyes. We both seemed like we needed to say something, but just as it had been for months, we couldn't express what we needed to say. He was leaving, and though neither of us said it, we knew that this was our final goodbye. Our conversation was quick and quiet:
"I'll call you when I get to Italy."
"Okay. Be safe."
"I will. Love you."
"Love you, too."
"Bye."
And with that, T.K. left to board a train to Tokyo, where he'd catch the flight to Italy.
As I sat down on our old couch - the same one my mom had told us to throw away so many times, but which we could not because it held so many memories of us - I wept. I thought my crying would be cathartic - a way of starting to grieve and hopefully, to one day get over the pain. But there was something else to it, something deeper.
My mind started drifting. I began to think about us, all of the good times and the bad. I remembered how we used to laugh all the time; how T.K. knew just what it took to turn my angry scowl into a smile; how we planned to have two kids, just like each of our families growing up; and how T.K. was always the one to stand up for me and to care for me.
My heart started beating quickly. 'What is it? Why am I feeling this way? Why is my heart pumping to fast?'
I rose from the couch. My teary eyes were clearing up and I walked to the coat rack and grabbed my big, oversized jacket. 'What am I doing?' I asked myself.
But before I even put on my coat, I realized what it was I needed to do. T.K. had always stood up for us, but now it was my turn. I had to stand up for our marriage. I wouldn't, I couldn't let us go without a fight.
After all, we were destined to be together. Destiny is not something that can be broken so easily.
I looked down at my watch as the apartment door swung closed behind me. One hour had already passed, and T.K.'s flight would leave in one more hour. Maybe, just maybe, I could catch him in time.
We Belong to the light
We Belong to the thunder
We Belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better
We Belong, We Belong
We Belong together
I started to think, "maybe God is working against me" as I made my way toward T.K. My car wouldn't start and I had to run to the train station. The train ran late and once it got to Tokyo, it took me forever to find a cab to take me to the airport.
As the cab drove me closer to T.K., my heart was beating as if it wanted to leap out of my chest. I was sweaty and tired and nervous. I had run through the streets of Odaiba and Tokyo and looked like a mess. I had lost a shoe somewhere in the hurriedness and even now didn't know how I would pay the cabbie, since I left my wallet at home in the rush. But looking down at my watch, I knew I still had a chance. I still had one more chance to tell T.K. what our marriage meant to us.
By the time I arrived, T.K.'s flight was scheduled to leave. I ran through the doors into the airport and looked up at the flights on the monitors.
JA 539 DEP to Rome DEPARTED
As I read those words, "DEPARTED," I was shocked. I didn't cry - I couldn't; I was too surprised to cry. Somehow, even through the madness of making it here, I just knew that I would make it on time. But I didn't. I didn't make it in time.
Maybe it's a sign of weakness
When I don't know what to say
Maybe I just wouldn't know
What to do with my strength anyway
Have we become a habit
Do we distort the facts
As I sat at the edge of a bench, defeated and wondering about it all, I could see the shadow of someone approaching me.
I looked up, hoping for T.K., but my remaining hopes, how few they were, were dashed. It was a little boy, about seven or eight years old.
"Hello, are you lost?" I asked.
He nodded 'no,' and said, "Is your named Hikari?"
I was taken aback - not only because he knew my name, but because he was so direct in saying my first name. Kids these days!
"Yes I am. How did you know?"
The boy turned to his left and replied, "That guy over there is looking for you."
As I looked right, I saw him. As he walked toward me, I could see a twinkle in his eyes and a slight smile on his face.
"Hi, Kari."
"Hi, Takeru."
Beat.
"I just couldn't leave," T.K. started.
"I thought you had already gotten on the plane."
"I almost did. They even took my ticket. But at the doorway, I stopped and turned around because I was thinking, 'Why am I walking away from the love of my life?'"
At that, I started to cry. T.K. held me and said, "I'm so sorry..."
"No," I interrupted. "There'll be plenty of time for sorries later, on both sides. Right now, I just want to feel again like we belong." We rose from the bench and I embraced him as tightly as I could.
Now there's no looking forward
Now there's no turning back
When you say
We Belong to the light
We Belong to the thunder
We Belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better
We Belong, We Belong
We Belong together
As I held Kari in my arms, everything felt right again, like it hadn't in so long. I knew the place I belonged - right here, next to my best friend. And I knew it wouldn't be easy to piece everything back together, but we could do it.
I remembered that Kari used to say that we were destined to be together. I believe in destiny - how could I not as a Digidestined? But also, I know that love is about a lot of hard work that in the end is all worth it for the one you belong with. Somewhere along the way, I forgot about that and I forgot about what really mattered.
I'll never forget again.
Close your eyes and try to sleep now
Close your eyes and try to dream
Clear your mind and do your best
To try and wash the palette clean
We can't begin to know it
How much we really care
I hear your voice inside me
I see your face everywhere
Still you say
We Belong to the light
We Belong to the thunder
We Belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better
We Belong, We Belong
We Belong together
A/N: I know, this song fic is a bit dull – I had neither the time nor interest in making it better, but I still wanted to get this story out. I hope that some of you enjoyed it.