The Teen Titans belong to DC Comics and Cartoon Network. The Fantastic Four (World's Greatest Heroes) belong to Marvel Comics, MoonScoop, and . . . also Cartoon Network? I think?
The orange streak of the T-ship rounded the moon, returning to Earth from a visit to Tamaran. All Titans were aboard, and most were a little tired from the long trip.
"Man... I never thought space travel would feel boring," Beast Boy yawned.
"You did not enjoy the Festival of Quarznak?" Starfire asked, slightly offended.
"Wha?" Beast Boy replied, "Oh. . . no, the festival was fine. . . Just a long trip."
Before the conversation could progress further the ship was rocked by a mysterious burst of turbulence.
"Re-entry shock?" Robin asked as he struggled to stabilise the ship.
"No, we're not in the atmosphere yet," a clearly concerned Cyborg replied, "Might be the hyper drive? I'm still kind of guessing at some of the FTL technologies, and the parts aren't exactly easy to find on Earth."
Thankfully the shaking stopped as quickly and mysteriously as it began. The ship cruised into the atmosphere above Jump City, the afternoon sun glistening off the water. Cyborg guided the ship towards the roof of the T-tower, and they began to descend into a landing. The doors for the landing bay were a bit slow to respond, Cyborg noting that they likely needed some oiling. The final landing was smooth and controlled though.
Beast Boy leapt from his pod to hug the floor, "Mmm, solid ground at last."
"We're still like 10 storeys up," Raven muttered.
"I don't care, it's solid," Beast Boy replied as he got back to his feet, "Anyway, who wants food? I'm starving!"
Beast Boy sprinted off before Starfire could manage her reply, "But we partook in a feast? Did none of you enjoy the glungar berries or the jundats?"
The rest of the Titans replied with awkward shrugs and embarrassed faces, with a few mutterings of 'I had a couple' or 'They were fine'. Cyborg and Robin then hurried after Beast Boy. Raven however grew distracted by . . . something. She wasn't sure what, but things just felt off.
"I'm going to go meditate," Raven replied half to herself.
Starfire was left in the landing bay alone for a moment, disappointed, but forced to accept that her friends still weren't that fond of Tamaranian cuisine. Heading towards the kitchen it wasn't long until she encountered an odd scene. Beast Boy was in the form of a Gorilla as he and Robin were trying to pry open the door and Cyborg was trying to access the door control panel.
"Why are the language settings turned to . . . Russian? I think that's Russian," Cyborg was muttering, "I don't remember programming that."
"Please, friends, what is happening?"
"The. Door. Won't. Open," Robin said as he tried using his bo staff as leverage with the door.
Starfire moved over to help with the door, her strength proving enough to force it open. Beast Boy scurried off to the refrigerator, hopping along in monkey form. Opening the fridge he quickly grabbed a veggie burger he'd left half finished from breakfast and took a large bite. Then his eyes grew in fear as he spat it out.
"Gah!" he screamed, "Cy, dude, did you move my veggie burger and put a chicken burger in here?! Not cool!"
"What?" Cyborg replied, still struggling to understand what happened to the door controls, "No. We're out of chicken burgers."
Beast Boy then grabbed a banana only to spit out his first bite of that, "THIS tastes like chicken too!"
Giving up on the door for now Cyborg decided to grab some pop and a pizza. Opening the can and taking a sip Cyborg was pleasantly surprised.
"Cool, chicken flavoured," he said, "Well, I'm gonna go down to the main computer, there's clearly something buggy going on. Might be Gizmo's doing..."
Robin decided a glass of water would be enough, but as he turned on the top all that shot out was an unsettling dark slime.
"I'll . . . call the repair guy I guess?" Robin replied shutting the tap off.
Picking up the phone and starting to dial the receiver of the phone began smoking and shooting sparks. Surprised Robin tossed the phone into the sink, but before he could say anything the room was filled with dolphin noises.
"Beast Boy, was that you?" he asked.
"No dude," Gar replied, " I think it came from the intercom. Is it a new doorbell?"
The sound of dolphins repeated, and was indeed the intercom. The three titans who'd remained in the common area hurried over to the elevator and pressed the button for the first floor. The elevator then began to drop like a rock, until Starfire took charge and slowed it by pushing on the ceiling. The descent was still rather faster than average though, and all three were quick to flee when they made it to ground level.
"I really hope Cy figures out what's going on," Beast Boy gasped.
The dolphins called out again. A very annoyed Robin went and answered the door, being greeted by the surprisingly beaming face of Speedy.
"Robin! My good friend! How are you?" Speedy said with excessive energy.
"Speedy? Why didn't you just use your communicator?" Robin asked.
"Good question!" Speedy replied, "Oh, and it is fellow Titans Beast Boy and Starfire! Greetings!"
"Greetings!" Starfire beamed.
"Are you going to answer the question?" Robin asked flustered.
"Let's chat oh great team leader!" Speedy said as he proceeded to wander into the tower, "I'd like to talk about all sorts of things. The weather. You opinion on pizza. Your deepest darkest fears."
Robin followed after Speedy confused by his ally's sudden chaotic energy. Starfire and Beast Boy meanwhile went back to the elevator shaft to check what was happening. When it seemed that the elevator was happy sitting still at the bottom of the shaft the pair flew up, not wanting to take the stairs the whole way.
Raven meanwhile was relaxing quietly in a secluded corner of the tower, trying to pin down why things felt just generally off. There was a lot of energy in the air that certainly wasn't of Earth, but it also didn't feel magical. She felt like she was starting to get an idea, when a voice half an inch from her ear caused her to nearly jump out of her skin. Opening her eyes she found Jinx smiling at her, ignoring any standards of personal space.
"Raven, the darkest Titan, how are you doing?" Jinx asked.
"You should know better than to sneak up on me," Raven replied flatly, "Especially when I'm meditating."
"Oh yes, of course. Sneaking is fun though. How good are you at sneaking? I bet with those shadow powers you're great at hiding. And your telekinesis, what is the upper limit to that?"
"What."
"Good friend and fellow Titan, let's discuss all the aspects of your dark powers, they are very cool," Jinx beamed.
"Did you hit your head or something? You're acting weird. . . A different weird from usual."
Jinx began to ramble a whole list of questions, covering a wide range of subjects, from cookies to where the realm of Azarath was exactly in a string theory-multiverse frame of reference. Raven really didn't know what to make of any of it, but decided to try to find Kid Flash, he couldn't be too far behind and might know why Jinx was being so weird. Hopefully.
"Maybe it's Ukrainian?" Cyborg mused to himself as he tried to deal with the computers in the central processing room.
He honestly couldn't speak either, but didn't want to make assumptions. All he knew was that dictionary Red Star had given him was indicating everything the computer said was gibberish. The current read out either said 'Banana is very October', wasn't in Russian, or Cy was just a lot worse at translating than he wanted to admit. Frustrated he cracked open one of the side panels, and discovered one of the CPUs had been replaced with a lone slice of birthday cake sitting on a small plate. His eye twitched briefly.
"What in the world is going on?!" he shouted, before decided to try to dig around to find see if there were any hidden cameras and this was some kind of practical joke.
"Hey there!" a voice Cyborg vaguely recognised suddenly announced from above a computer tower.
Looking up Cy saw their usual pizza delivery guy sitting up on top of the large computer. He was always a fairly cool fellow (the only pizza delivery guy willing to jet ski out, so they always gave him a good tip) but was not someone who had free access to the tower.
"How did you get in here?" Cyborg asked.
"You're good with computers aren't you?" the guy asked, "Play any cool games? Make fun websites? What sort of security protocols does your internal processor have?"
Cyborg was tired and a little frustrated, and as such yanked the guy down by his shirt collar to get the height advantage.
"You're not supposed to be in here," Cyborg stated, "Now, I'm going to be nice this time, but if you break in again we're definitely going to find a different pizza guy, and I'll start to suspect you of super villainy."
The pizza guy (Cyborg tried to remember his name. . . Steve maybe?) looked honestly a bit frightening and hurried off. Cyborg wondered if he'd maybe gone a bit too strong, but decided he could deal with that later. First he had to figure out what in the world was going on. And why had the main screen switched to what looked like Cyrillic Comic Sans?
Starfire and Beast Boy meanwhile both had decided to flop in the common room. Neither wanted to move, fearing touching anything other than the couch (which felt slightly lumpier than normal, but was still fairly comfortable). They were soon joined by a rather annoyed Raven followed by an overly enthusiastic Jinx.
"Starfire, thank goodness," Raven sighed, not caring that Jinx had been speaking the whole time, "I think Jinx is broken, can you talk to her?"
"Friend Jinx, it is good to see you!" Starfire smiled, "The unusual events occurring are not caused by the bad luck abilities you have I must wonder?"
"Fellow Titan Starfire!" Jinx beamed, apparently happy to latch onto a new conversation partner, "You are looking healthy. Tell me, does solar energy from the Terran System feed you better than that of your home world? Does the star spectral position matter?"
"I am unsure," Starfire replied, her quizzical pause indicating she hadn't really thought about that before, "I do wish to tell you of the Festival of Quarznark from which we have just returned though!"
Starfire took Jinx by the arm and the two wandered off, both talking a blur. Raven let out a relieved sigh and dropped herself onto the far end of the couch. Beast Boy gave her a confused look about what had just happened and she replied with an indifferent sigh.
"I needed some quiet," she shrugged.
When the dolphin calls sounded again Raven grumbled, so Beast Boy quickly agreed he'd handle it and ran off to the elevator. As he arrived the green boy remembered what happened last time, and decided he'd take the stairs. Racing down he heard the dolphins squeak a few more times before he made it to the ground floor. Out of breath he opened up the main door, and was shocked at what he saw.
"Beast boy!" Terra beamed, wearing her old outfit from her days on the team, "How is my favourite pointy eared green Titan? You're so handsome. And the shapeshifting, always very impressive. I've always wondered about some of the limits on that."
"Terra!" Beast Boy lit up like a small sun, "You've got your memories back! Or . . . decided to come back? I wasn't totally sure what was going on, but you're back and that's what matters! Come on, your room is just like you left it, I'll go show you!"
Terra was surprised to find her hand yanked as Gar sprinted towards the stairs, having regained the energy he'd spent hurrying down to the stairs. As they went up several floors Beast Boy was thrilled to tell her about all the things the Titans had been up to lately, and answered the less . . . odd questions she asked (he was assuming the weird ones had something to do with whatever had happened that made her leave/lose her memories). Just as they reached Terra's old room Beast Boy's communicator crackled alive with Robin's voice.
"Guys, I really think you should all come join me in the west atrium. Speedy is proving a very interesting conversation partner."
Beast Boy had to admit that was a somewhat unusual request and was about to protest when Cyborg beat him to it.
"I've realised something that I think might require your attention first."
"Trust me, this first," Robin replied.
The Titans all followed the instruction. Beast Boy and Starfire both telling the guests they were hosting they'd be right back. Raven was annoyed she still hadn't gotten a chance to properly meditate, but arrived at roughly the same time as the others, getting to watch a still uncharacteristically cheerful Speedy engaged in conversation with Robin who seemed a little too interested. Then they got close enough to hear what was being discussed and were suddenly all just as interested.
"-that was a good vacation," Speedy was saying.
"I know, too bad we can't go back, but winter on Jupiter does get chilly," Robin replied.
"Oh! Yes, it does," Speedy replied cheerfully, "It's been too long."
"Yes, I do miss those mailbox rides over up to Jupiter. All those childhood summers spent skipping rocks on the beaches," Robin replied.
"Yes, yes, I haven't ridden the mailbox anywhere in too long."
"And you also won all the juggling contests we used to have with those extra arms of yours," Robin replied casually, "You're among friends, you can relax and let them out."
"Oh! Yes!" Speedy replied, stretching as suddenly a second set of arms popped out from his sides just below his normal pair.
"Aaiiemmph," Starfire shouted before Raven could cover her mouth.
Awkwardly Raven gave Speedy a smile and replied, "You know Star . . . being an alien she always forgets normal Earth things."
"Oh yes . . . aliens are . . . funny in that way," Speedy replied a little confused, having not noticed the group enter.
"Oh team, good to see you. Sorry Speedy, but Cyborg had something to tell us all, I think he's trying to fix the pipes," Robin said and led the Titans out of the room.
As they walked towards a more secluded corner Robin, Cyborg, and Raven exchanged a quick series of nods before Raven summoned a shield of magical energy around them.
"I think Speedy has been replaced with some kind of shapeshifting Alien," Robin replied, "He's shown only the most basic understanding of Earth."
"Jinx wasn't much better," Raven shrugged.
"I had not noticed," Starfire muttered, "She merely seemed the cheerful . . ."
"Don't beat yourself up Star," Cyborg replied reassuringly, "If we were on Tamaran you'd be the only one to know things were off. I don't think it's been exactly a replacement though. I think we may have been abducted."
"What? Dude we've got the whole T-Tower, did they steal the whole thing?" Beast Boy asked.
"No. It's a re-creation. A spotty one at that," Cyborg replied, "The computer systems are barely existent, the elevators and plumbing don't work, and most importantly the GPS readout I recently gave myself has been reading us at hundreds of kilometres above the Earth. I just thought it was glitching too, but it's too much all combined."
"So they're all Aliens?" a slightly worried Beast Boy replied.
"Yep," Cyborg replied, "We need to proceed with caution."
"Cyborg, you should go prep the T-ship for retreat. Star and I will try to deal with 'Speedy', Raven with 'Jinx', Beast Boy with . . . the third one," Robin stated, "Try to keep the element of surprise on our side."
Raven dropped the shield and each Titan ran off to their assigned positions. Starfire and Robin found 'Speedy' quickly, Robin choosing to talk to the now four armed being, worried Starfire might prod a bit too strongly to prove she understood Earth better than the new alien. Raven found a very confused 'Jinx' wandering the hallways, seemingly lost, and gave her best attempt at a friendly greeting. Beast Boy was the next, and found the alien who looked just like Terra, fiddling with some small crystals on Terra's desk ( . . . well, the recreation of Terra's desk).
"Beast Boy! You are back!" she smiled, then noticed the confused look on Beast Boy's face, "What happened? Are you okay?"
Beast Boy knew he was supposed to wait for Cyborg to check in before acting, but looking at Terra's face and knowing it was a lie . . . He'd been betrayed by it before. Twice actually, though rather more figuratively the second time. And it hurt too much both times. He couldn't sit with a third time.
"What are you after?" Beast Boy asked sharply.
"I . . . A home?" she replied, clearly nervous, and in a tone that sounded truthful to Beast Boy, but he knew he couldn't trust her.
"What are you?" he said more accusatively.
She looked truly hurt for a moment, then switched to an aggressive expression, "Fine, if you know... Why bother being polite?"
Before Gar knew if she was asking herself rhetorically or him accusatively, she pulled out some sort of probing gun and quickly sprung on him. The skin on his chest was briefly stung by the device before she jumped back and darted for the door. Beast Boy slid between her and the escape, transforming into a gorilla to block her way. The alien 'Terra' 's face grew angry and suddenly her whole form contorted and she took the form of some sort of strange tentacled alien beast before lunging at him. Struggling to deal with the limb advantage Beast Boy tried to turn into an octopus, but by the time he'd finished she'd slipped past him and taken the form of some sort of fast alien predator.
Raven's efforts to keep an eye on 'Jinx' were quickly interrupted when the alien's supposed T-communicator crackled to life, and something was sputtered out of it.
"Oh good," the alien Jinx replied, "I was getting bored."
She too pulled out a probing device and quickly applied it to Raven's arm. The Titan was confused for a moment, and in the split second it took for her to process the alien had darted a significant distance down the hall. Raven began to chase after her when her own communicator began broadcasting.
"They know we know, fall back!" Robin ordered.
Raven gritted her teeth, annoyed to let the alien Jinx escape, but listened to Robin's idea. Hurrying up the nearest stairwell she made it to the T-ship's bay quickly, and found the others having already made it. Beast Boy was clearly freaking out.
"She probed me! Probably implanted me with eggs or something. Oh god, they're going to grow inside me. Like parasites or something. Dude this is so uncool!"
"Why would they place the eggs inside of you?" Starfire asked, rubbing her own arm somewhat concerned, "It seems a most dangerous place for their young."
"Don't you watch any sci-fi movies or abduction videos?" Beast Boy asked, "That's what abduction-y aliens are always doing. Especially the creepy ones with tentacles."
"I am unfamiliar with any such species," Starfire shrugged, "Though I must also admit I do not know any species local to this region of space with such exceptional shapeshifting."
"So they probed you too?" Raven asked, "What about Robin and Cyborg?"
"No, he just ignored me," Robin shrugged.
"Genetically we're both pretty normal humans," Cyborg replied while fussing away with the T-ship, "They might be interested in powers only? Either way, I'd like to leave now before they get a chance to try me."
As they prepared to board the ship suddenly the walls of the hanger began to withdraw in places that were supposed to be solid and out stepped an assortment of Titan allies, all looking ready to strike. Most of the Titans prepared for combat, but Beast Boy was seeming extra cocky, and decided to stand confidently with a grin.
"Please, we know those aren't your real forms. Give up the fakery and let's see what your hideous faces actually look like," he stated smugly.
"Very well," the 'Jinx' laughed.
Each of the aliens transformed, their clothing shifting to a black and purple, their skin green, their ears pointy, and their chins gained a few vertical creases.
"You know look upon the face of the Skrull," the former Jinx replied.
"Wow, you were right Beast Boy, they are hideous," Raven cut in, "Questionable fashion sense too."
"I am confused," one of the Skrull spoke up, "We don't look that different from your compatriot?"
"That was the point," Raven grumbled, annoyed she had to explain the joke.
Beast Boy shot her an angry look.
The Skrull 'Jinx' meanwhile clearly had an idea, and shouted something in their alien tongue. Suddenly the Skrull took the forms of the Titans, 5 taking each form. Then they charged in, tackling the original titans, and causing confusion of who was who. At least until Starfire launched one with a starbolt and the other aliens couldn't mimic that.
"They look like us, but they don't have our abilities!" a Robin shouted as he pulled out his bo staff, a move the others couldn't copy.
"Good thinking!" Cyborg replied, activating his arm cannon and began to blast them aside.
"Azarath Metrion Zynthos!" Raven called out as she blasted her would be doppelgangers away.
Having defeated their duplicates the Titans all turned to find a collection of green wildlife battling it out.
"Dudes! I'm the original!" one of the Beast Boys shouted returning to human form.
"No, it's me!"
"No me!"
They all returned to human form trying to claim the title of original, though quickly devolved into physically fighting and then returning to animal form once more. The other Titans were left completely confused.
"Um," Robin muttered, "What do you guys think?"
The mass of green animals continued fighting.
"I'd say video games, but we don't have any nor the time," Cyborg shrugged.
"Oh! I have the idea!" Starfire announced, "Beast Boy was most terrified of the dinner I made on the Sunday just passed. GORFANK SUPRISE!"
At the sound of the word 'gorfank' one of the Beast Boys seemed to jump out of his skin. Starfire flew over and grabbed him, tossing him towards the other Titans and they all clambered into the T-ship.
"Doors aren't opening," Cyborg said through gritted teeth.
"Azarath. Mention. Zynthos!" Raven exclaimed, her dark energy enveloping the T-ship and transporting them safely to the space outside the alien vessel. The strain left her barely conscious afterwards.
Well, relatively safely as the alien vessel then began to fire various laser turrets and Cyborg beat a hasty retreat. As they slid into re-entry the aliens broke off, abandoning the chase. The Titans had escaped. Er. Most of them.
Aboard the Skrull vessel Beast Boy was utterly confused. Then he remembered 'gorfank' was what Starfire had called that weird meal she had made last week. Was that really the best test his friends could come up with? Either way, he was in trouble now. As he grew aware of his predicament a taller and more imposing Skrull than the others emerged from the shadows, clearly disappointed in his troops. Following him closely was a younger girl, probably an adolescent compared to all the others.
"Pathetic!" he shouted, "Mail boxes aren't vehicles! Jupiter is the largest gas giant of the Terran system, and. Has. No. Beaches. The only one you idiots fooled was the Tamaranean!"
One of the Skrull began to reply in their alien tongue, but was swiftly shouted down.
"Practice your English! Your grammar was terrible too," the commander bellowed, "You all need to practice more. My daughter was the only one who wasn't a total embarrassment, and she's a youth. You're supposed to be proper soldiers."
Dejectedly the various skrull began to return to their natural forms, and Beast Boy worried his identity was about to be revealed. Maybe he could copy them? He'd done an alien creature before, but that was a creature. Was there a difference? Could he only do animals? As his mind raced he barely noticed the commander move towards him.
"Why are you not returning to your natural form soldier?" he asked coldly.
"Oh, well, I, um," Gar panicked, then had a sudden flash of idea, "I pulled a back muscle sir. Going to have to go stretch that out before I can do any shifting."
"Hmm . . . You are a pathetic lot. Can't even use your natural abilities properly. How are we supposed to rebuild the Skrull Empire with you failures?" the commander seethed.
"I will take him to the medical bay," the commander's daughter cut in.
"He hardly needs a guide," the leader seethed, "Or at least I would have thought so, but who knows. Maybe he'd manage to lose an arm by mistake next..."
With that Beast Boy found himself being lead into the more alien portions of the ship by the youngest of the aliens. She seemed friendlier than the others, and also somehow familiar. After twisting down a few corridors she looked around carefully before turning and beginning to speak in a hushed tone.
"You're actually him aren't you?"
"What?" Beast Boy replied, trying his best to sound utterly confused (an effort that didn't take much acting, how could she know?).
"Sh'mik talik bur'nath," she stated before smiling, "Yeah, you're not a Skrull."
Beast Boys eyes grew with fear, "Y-your not going to eat me or anything are you?"
"Pfft, no," she laughed, "My father might think about threatening to, but that's why we need to get you out of here."
"Wait . . . what? You're going to help me? Why?"
"I wasn't lying when I said we're looking for a home. . . but my father has let his ego get the better of him."
"You were the Terra?" Beast Boy asked, suddenly sounding defensive.
"Yeah . . . Our information was slightly limited. I have to assume things went rather worse than I'd gotten the impression of based off how angry you got. Sorry."
"You're weirdly chill about betraying your own father..."
"Like I said, he's giving into his ego. Our people tried to conquer . . . our Earth many times. When the Empire fell apart everyone ran in different directions," she sighed, "We found a portal to this universe. . . dimension? Reality? Whatever term you like . . . but anyway, this is a different Earth than ours. Seeing the opportunity to sort of do what so many famous Skrull had failed to do my father became obsessed with conquest."
"And you disagree?"
"Definitely. We had a chance to find peace. If he captures you then there's no turning back, but if you escape, if we fail even worse than we've already done, he might rethink his idea."
"I hope you're right." Beast Boy replied, a little overwhelmed by all that, "So . . . what's the plan?"
"Escape pods, they're just a couple halls away. Come on," she said, taking his hand.
She was indeed telling the truth that they weren't far. Assuming she was telling the truth that they were escape pods. All the writing was in alien, so Beast Boy had no idea what any of it said, but they did look escape pod-y. He'd seen enough sci-fi to know what they should look like. The Skrull girl hurried over and began punching in some sort of code to one of the pod entrances. The latch opened.
"Quickly, get in."
Beast Boy nodded and did as he was told.
"Are you more radiation resistance than most Humans?" she asked suddenly.
"Why?" Beast Boy asked suspiciously.
"Skrull can take more than Humans, so the shielding is a bit light," she shrugged.
"Oh . . . Dude! I've now got an excuse to turn into a tardigrade! I've been wanting to do that," Beast Boy smiled.
"A what?"
"Microorganisms that are basically impossible to kill with radiation. Or heat. Or cold. Just in general really hard to kill."
"You can turn microscopic?" the Skrull girl replied excitedly, "That is sooo grinshank! . . . Er-cool."
Before Beast Boy could reply the door sealed and he was blasting away from the ship. The alien girl waved from across the hatch, and he had to admit she was actually sort of cute. Ignoring that as irrelevant, Gar quickly turned Tardigrade while the pod launched away from the ship.
He hoped the team would believe he was the real him...