"Equal and Opposite Reactions"
She didn't consider herself an only child. Her half brother lived in L.A. with his celebuslut so-called actress mother. Although they barely interacted, Elizabeth wished they lived in the same house. It would be more fun. All of her childhood memories weren't shared with someone her age. They were supposed to have been, but her younger brother had been born prematurely and passed away.
Why? She constantly asked herself; why, when he was only a baby? He couldn't possibly have done anything wrong and neither she, her mother nor her father deserved that. What kind of sick and twisted karma could have fallen upon her good Samaritan mother, Sheila Carlton-Matthews? Had her dad made a mistake in the past? Was it because of him that her baby brother was dead?
Turning her sparkling green eyes to the sun, Elizabeth blinked twice and looked away. Bradshaw, her boyfriend of nearly one year, had told her when they were ten that you could go blind if you stared at the sun too long. Sometimes she blew kisses into the sky and wondered what her little brother was doing up in heaven. He probably had all the best angel friends.
Her father was taking too long. Elizabeth pulled out her phone and sent Brad a text message. Finally, her father appeared in the doorway of the expansive kitchen holding her cup of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows. "Lizzie, why do you look so glum?" he asked, taking a seat next to her and setting down the steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of her on the countertop. Elizabeth cringed. She hated nicknames that were derived from the first four or five letters of someone's name. What about the other letters? Were the last few not just as important? Wouldn't they get lonely?
"Uh," she began, but then thought better of it. Her father leaned over and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Elizabeth shrugged it off and hopped down from the bar stool. "Actually, I'm gonna go meet Brad."
"Lizzie-" Chase sighed in exasperation. All of his efforts to show his concern weren't being met halfway and it was extremely frustrating. He knew he was a good father, but his only daughter just refused to admit it.
"Don't call me that!" she shouted. "I'm tired of it, dad. Being bounced around like this from family member to family member – it just isn't right!"
"You know it was your mother who wanted this right?" he yelled back, the tips of his ears turning pink. Elizabeth knew he was extra angry because that's what happened to her when she got angry.
"Whatever, dad. You cheated, and that's why she kicked you out! That's what you did to your first wife, and now that's what you're doing to her!"
She'd witnessed the whole thing. She'd walked in on her dad and Lola in bed even though Lola was married to Vince Blake and her dad was married to her mom. Lola would never change, and that's why Elizabeth hated her more than anything. The Academy Award nominated actress had wrecked both of her father's marriages. It was plain as day, yet they were the only ones who couldn't see it. They both wanted each other, so why couldn't they just be together?
Her mother had told her all about Zoey Brooks, her father's first wife. With a slam of the front door, Elizabeth was stepping out onto the veranda. She motioned for a waiting town car, and quickly ducked into the back seat.
Zoey Brooks was fierce, strong, and independent. After her father had knocked Lola up behind her back, Zoey had miscarried. Yet another half sibling Elizabeth would never have. Zoey had found the courage to move on, though. She'd even written a book called A Woman Unscorned and Elizabeth had read it front to back three times. Zoey was a huge inspiration to her.
There was nothing bashing her father in the book, either. Lola was barely mentioned. Zoey was everything her father was not. Tough, brave, empowering. Beautiful, sweet, loving, caring. Elizabeth had always wanted to meet her. Maybe get her to sign the inside cover of the book. Ask her a couple of questions. It was strange, but Zoey had opened her eyes to a lot of things she knew her mother would never talk about. Like why she took Chase up after learning about his past. A Woman Unscorned was a warning.
The town car pulled up in front of Ernest and Gina Tucker's sprawling, Victorian-esque mansion. The door was opened for her and Elizabeth stepped out of the car. She smoothed her tight uniform skirt down her over knees and began walking up the marble steps to grasp the bronze knocker. Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth smiled when the butler answered the door. He was always so nice to her.
"Good day Ms. Matthews," he chirped in a British accent.
"Hello Amadeus," Elizabeth replied. Anyone named after Mozart automatically had her respect. She could already hear Brad's triplet sisters playing in their playroom. She was jealous of his sisters. They had the greatest older brother alive, and she barely knew her own.
At nearly seventeen years of age, she'd had less than ten conversations with him. They were barely two years apart; there was no excuse for it. "Hey Ella, Emily! It's Bethie!" The youngest of the triplets, Esther, exclaimed before rushing into Elizabeth's arms.
Brad had told his mom to give his younger sisters names all starting with 'e' because of her, or so he claimed. She'd gotten pregnant when she and Brad were in the fifth grade. In a way, Elizabeth had been jealous, but now she just loved them all dearly. Emily and Ella climbed onto her back, and then Brad appeared before her.
Her green eyes lit up at the sight. Brad stepped forward and planted a long, reassuring kiss to her lips to her lips that all but scared the girls off. "Ew, gross!" Ella cried, scrunching up her nose. Emily slid off her back and Elizabeth pulled her yellow church dress back down so her underwear wasn't showing. She was sure they'd all be her sisters-in-law one day. She also knew that she'd be the great big sister to them that she couldn't be to Justin Dominic Matthews.
"You're it!" Esther tagged Ella, and the three girls ran off, three flashes of long golden brown hair down the hallway.
--
Alexander had been wondering about his sister lately. She lived all the way down in southern California, but Alexander wanted to pay her visit, see what she was up to. The only thing holding him back was his dad, who he did not want to see, ever. The guy had practically abandoned him and his mom when Alexander was barely two. Chase Matthews was the scum of the earth in more ways than one.
Alexander's Blackberry buzzed. He'd just received a new text message from his girlfriend, Jaycee. ur door, it read. He lived with his mom and his younger sister, Arabella. His stepdad was currently living with his own family because of his grandfather's death.
Alex swung the door open and locked eyes with Jaycee. "Baby!" she yelled, jumping his arms. If he didn't love anything else, Alex most definitely adored Jaycee's spontaneity.
"Hey," he replied, burrowing his nose into her long blond hair. Setting her back down again, he smiled and tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her left ear. "So what's up?"
"I was walking by your building with Shari, and then I decided I wanted to hang out with you!" She grabbed his arm and smiled sweetly, her blue eyes twinkling. Alex barely had time to turn around and close the front door.
"Aw, you're so cute when you're hyper," Alex said, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Okay," she said, "let's go!" The furry collar of her navy blue Burberry winter coat tickled his neck and Alex smiled. Once they'd descended the ten flights of stairs, they began walking towards the pier.
Jaycee grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together. "What's been on your mind lately? We haven't really talked in awhile."
"Uh, my sister," Alex finally admitted.
"What?" Jaycee screeched. "And not me?" She stuck her lower lip out and batted her thick eyelashes at him.
"Jaycee," he groaned, bumping her shoulder with his own. "This is serious."
"Okay then," Jaycee obliged. "Spill."
"Elizabeth and I... have never been close," Alex told her. They began walking up the pier.
"Obviously." Jaycee nodded.
"But I just want to talk to her. See her, if possible."
"Solution: pick up the phone and call her or go to her house," Jaycee suggested.
"No – I mean it's not that simple Jay," Alex explained, his green eyes clouding over. His tan complexion and bright eyes would probably startle Elizabeth so much she'd never want to see him again. That, and the fact that she hated his mother with an undying passion.
"It's great that you care though," Jaycee offered.
"I'm just afraid my dad will be around when I want to talk to her."
"Well Alexander, you know your dad loves you right? You're gonna have to talk to him sometime."
"No, my mom has all the money I could ever possibly want or need," Alex assured his girlfriend of two years.
"That's not the attitude you should have," Jaycee whined, letting go of his hand. She came to a stop in front of their favorite frozen yogurt cart. They ordered their usuals and paid. "What are you gonna do about it?" Jaycee wondered as soon as they'd started walking again. She stuck her plastic spoon full of chocolate ice cream into her mouth and quickly pulled it out again. "Ooh, brain freeze!"
Alex laughed and grabbed Jaycee's hand, giving it a light squeeze. "You're the best. I don't deserve you."
"Sure you do Xander." Jaycee smiled at him, which sent a shiver up Alex's spine. "Because I say you do. And what I say, goes."
"Okay boss," Alex teased.
"You know, I'll even come with you to see your sister if you want."
"Really?" Alex's green eyes brightened as his face broke out into a grin.
"Yeah. Definitely," Jaycee licked her spoon again and stuck her hand into one of Alex's back jeans pockets. "Gosh, for a rich guy you're cheap. Come on Xander, Levi's?"
"I'm not rich, my parents are. And besides, I can't help it if my parents actually still give me small allowances!"
"Xander, you're almost eighteen. You have a job. Don't you think it's pretty screwed up that you're even still getting allowances?" One of her blond almost white eyebrows was cocked at an awkward angle.
"Not if you were me, you wouldn't think that." Alex smirked devilishly.
"So when are you gonna finally talk to him?" Jaycee asked, changing the subject. She finished off her ice cream.
"Probably never," Alex spat, staring straight ahead. If he looked at Jaycee, he'd start to ease up on his dad because of her beauty. She could convince him to do anything.
"Come on Xander. Be reasonable."
"Fine then. Whenever I get to talk to my sister." Jaycee narrowed her eyes.
"I promise. I just need to talk to my mom first."
"Okay, well, I'm meeting my dad at Grapefruit."
"Sure thing," Alex said.
"Call you later." Alex pulled Jaycee closer to him and kissed her on her thin, pink lips. Jaycee held onto his hand as she walked away from him, leaving Alex to brush her fingertips with his palm.
Once she was gone, he ran a hand through his caramel curls and sighed. Jaycee was one of the most amazing girls he'd ever met in his life. He just wasn't sure if he was ready to say the three words he knew she wanted him to say yet.
--
It was finally the weekend. Alexander sat up in his bed and breathed in the first breath of his Saturday morning. As usual, he'd slept shirtless with the A/C on full blast.
He jumped out of his bed and walked over to look in the mirror. He tousled his hair into place and widened his green eyes to help shake off the last signs of sleep. After spraying on some his favorite cologne, the ten ounce bottle Jaycee had gotten him for his birthday, Alex dragged on a green Lacoste polo and walked out of his room and into the kitchen.
His mom was sitting at the dining room table flipping through a script. "Morning," he said before sticking his head into the fridge.
"Hey Alex," she replied. He took a swig of milk right out of the carton.
"Alex, you know I hate when you do that!" Lola complained.
"Yeah, yeah." He shrugged and put the carton of milk back into the refrigerator. He walked over to the table and took the seat across from her.
"So...." he began, suddenly at a loss for words.
"So...." his mother echoed.
"Where's Arabella?"
"Uh, piano practice. Like she always is at 10:30 on a Saturday morning."
"Well, why should I know that? I don't exactly keep tabs on my kid sister."
"Oh, cut it Alex. Tell me what you really wanted to talk about. Are you and Jaycee all right? Do you think she might be pregnant?"
"Mom! No, no... no way!" Alex shook his head furiously, his green eyes enlarging. His mom always seemed to jump to conclusions. "You know we haven't even...." He rubbed the back of his neck, like he always did when he felt extremely uncomfortable. "Not yet at least." Lola's eyebrows shot up. "And not for a while," Alex promised, for safety.
"So Alex, what is it honey? And why can't you just spit it out?"
"Because it's not that easy, mom. It's about dad." Lola went back to studying her script. "I know you hate talking about him and I understand why, but I have one question. Just one question. I'll make it as quick as possible."
"What Alex?" Lola sighed and looked over at him. His green eyes sparkled with tears. "Mom, I just want to know why... why you never let him see me. When I was growing up, you know, going to school, getting my first job, driving and stuff. How come?"
"Look Alex, I'm not sure that it's the best time to discuss this-"
"No mom. Now is the time. I need to know." A tear made its way down his right cheek.
"Alex," Lola said softly, taking both of his hands in hers. "I didn't let your father see you at all because I believed he was an unfit father. When I got pregnant, I realized that he wasn't in love with me after all. He didn't choose me."
"Well, what do you mean?" He stared at his mother, causing her to turn away. The way his green eyes bored into her brought back the awful memory of when she'd basically announced her pregnancy to Chase and he'd just brushed it off like it was nothing. For some reason, she felt scared.
"Never do this to a woman, Alex. I'm dead serious." Clearing her throat, Lola started again. "Don't tear a beautiful friendship apart because of your own sexual selfishness."
"What did he do, mom? What did dad do?"
"I'll start from the beginning," Lola said, running a hand through her short bob. "We'd all met at a boarding school called PCA. We were all friends and everyone knew that Zoey and Chase's love was true. They were it. Really and truly. A couple of years after we'd graduated, when I was twenty-two and Chase was twenty-three, we started working on this movie with one of our old classmates, Logan Reese." Alex nodded knowingly. Jaycee was a huge fan of Logan Reese Productions.
"I began flirting with Chase because Vince had dumped me and I was lonely."
"Wow, so you knew Vince back then, too?" Nodding slowly, Lola kept her eyes glued to the table in shame. "It went downhill from there. We continued sleeping together and the whole time he was married to a woman who was supposed to be one of my best friends. I guess I stopped caring about whose feelings I was hurting because I wasn't lonely anymore."
Alex's mouth hung open. It was so shocking to find out that his mother had been promiscuous back when she was younger. "I got lost, okay? Alex, I wasn't sure which way was up. So... after Chase chose Zoey, like always... I had a meltdown. Since I was pregnant, my hormones were all over the place in addition to my emotions. Then I had you. He didn't even come to the hospital to visit me, not once. Not one single time, Alex. He insisted that you weren't his son."
"Did he ever see me at all?" Alex asked, wiping his face with the back of his left hand. Although he was sure his mother had seen the tears streaming down his cheeks, he was still sort of ashamed to be crying in front of her, especially over his dad. His voice came out hoarse, like a strangled cry for help. Maybe that's what it was. A strangled cry for help so he could finally understand why he had no real relationship with his biological father. "Did he ever hold me?"
"Yeah, when you were six months old he came and talked to me. He was still acting like a complete idiot about the whole situation and I just didn't have the energy to deal with his BS anymore."
"But... couldn't you have at least granted him joint custody? What about partial custody?"
"I, um, I think I was just so messed up I knew I couldn't do that either. Too much stress. He looked at you and knew he was the father, then he had the nerve to ask me why I hadn't had an abortion. He said he would have given me the money and everything. Like I needed him or something. So I said screw it. I'm done being the victim. I couldn't go on like that any longer."
"So dad didn't want me?" Alex inquired, his voice shaking. "He didn't care?" He'd meant for it to come out like a statment, not a question, because it was clear to him now. His dad didn't care. There was no way his mother would make up those things. It was like Alex didn't exist to his father, and it was a damn shame.
"Alexander, your father, he... he didn't want to have to worry about you. He realized too late that he'd made a mistake. He wanted to be with Zoey but after she found out about his affair, she wouldn't take him back. So I guess he figured I would. He thought I would stoop to his level and take pity on him, but that wasn't going to happen. Vince and I had reconciled and he was about to move in with me."
"Wow, so my stepdad ended up raising me?"
"Yes, for the most part. Vince... he stepped up when Chase decided I had never been good enough for him. Even though Chase still wanted to have sex and make a pathetic attempt at being a father, I wouldn't let him. He hadn't earned my love or my trust. He didn't deserve my attention. I was done with him. I had to forget. Vince had been around you so much more than he had, and I wanted him to raise you because I knew he was capable. I gave you my last name to show that women can be just as strong on their own. After those changes had been made, Vince and I got married about a year later. Since Chase couldn't care less about me, I wasn't going to give him the opportunity to not care about you, too."
"Thanks mom. I needed that." Alex smiled weakly and nodded solemnly. "But I still want to talk to him. Clear the air, you know?"
"That's fine, Alex. You're seventeen, nearly eighteen. If you want to know your father, ask questions, connect with him... what can I do to stop you? I think it'd be healthy and important for you at this stage. Taking the next step and everything."
"Okay, well. See you later, mom," Alex said, rising from his chair.
"Bye honey."
Walking back into his room, Alex retrieved his Razr from his duffel bag and dialed Jaycee's number. She was his number one speed dial, but he liked the familiar feel of pressing 453-2892 on his keypad. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and he could use some warmth and fuzziness right about now. "Hey sweetie!" she chirped, which caused Alex's face to break out into a smile. Just the sound of her voice could make him feel like the happiest guy in the world.
"Hi," he replied, sounding defeated without trying to sound that way. He was still a little worked up after the conversation with his mom about his dad.
"Xander, you sound so sad... like you've been crying or something. What's wrong?"
"I just talked to my mom about my dad and everything that happened when they were younger."
"So what'd she say?"
"She told me everything. Every little detail. And now I need to talk to him. Ask him why he did those things to me and my mother."
"Oh, well. Do you need a pep talk?" Jaycee asked hopefully. Alex knew she was great at pep talks. Anything that had the word pep in it could be linked to Jaycee. She even loved peppermints.
"No, I, uh... I actually want you to come with me." Alex bit down on his lip while Jaycee though about it.
"Of course. I know you need all the support you can get," Jaycee agreed.
"Okay. See you tomorrow then."
"Right. Bye baby." Alexander clicked off and sighed heavily. A huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders, now he just needed to make sure it didn't fall back down. Tomorrow held his destiny in its outstretched arms. He just had to make sure his destiny didn't slip through his fingers like the weight could.
--
The jet black, shiny stretch limo pulled up in front of Jaycee's apartment building. She stood out front, hugging her arms to her chest. The slinky black dress she was wearing swished around her knees as she stepped forward and let the chauffeur open the door for her. "Hey!" She smiled and gave her boyfriend a quick kiss on the lips.
Alexander took in the sight of his girlfriend in amazement. She was so beautiful with her twinkling deep blue eyes, straight nose and curly blond hair. "What's the occasion?"
"The fact that you even invited me to come with you forced me to wear a dress," Jaycee explained. "Plus, what if he asks us to stay for dinner or something? I don't wanna be wearing jeans while sitting at your father's dining room table!" Alex smirked. Although she hated to admit it, he knew Jaycee thought having a boyfriend with rich megastar parents was pretty fun.
"So um... I kinda have something to tell you," Alex said softly, shifting in his seat. The limo started moving again, and he held the blue velvet box in his slightly shaking hands.
"Uh huh...." Jaycee leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder. Alex pulled back and took both of her hands in his. "You don't wanna be just friends do you?" Her tiny little mouth formed an almost perfect circle. Peering at her more closely, Alex realized she was actually wearing lipstick.
"Of course not, Jay. I...." He opened the box and held it in front of her. The diamond on the ring glinted in the light shining in from the sunroof. He took one last deep breath and smiled at Jaycee. "I love you babe."
"Oh my gosh, I thought you'd never say it! I love you too, Xander!" Throwing her arms around his neck, she basically climbed into his lap. Alex didn't regret it, because he did love Jaycee. The way she called him Xander instead of Alex, the way her favorite perfume smelled, how she never forgot his birthday or their anniversary, how enthusiastic she always seemed to be... everything. She was everything.
After they pulled out of the hug, Alex slipped the ring on Jaycee's finger. "What's this for?" she whispered, brushing her sideswept bangs out of her eyes.
"It's a promise ring. I'll wait with you forever, Jay." Jaycee leaned in and pressed her lips to his. Alex felt warm and giddy all over, and not in a sexual way. That was the most beautiful thing in the world - the fact that he and Jaycee were best friends and loved each other so deeply, they didn't even need sex.
"Aw Xander... I don't know what I'd do without you," Jaycee whispered into his neck, before giving him a quick love bite. Alex smiled and reached forward, pulling a bottle of sparkling cider from the small tub of ice.
"How about we celebrate?" He cocked an eyebrow and grinned at her.
Jaycee nodded her head eagerly. "Definitely."
For the rest of the hour-and-a-half long ride to his dad's house, Alex and Jaycee touched and kissed each other as much possible, between pretending to get drunk off of flute after flute of apple cider. In his head, Alex began to think of songs he'd put on the mix tape he planned to give to Jaycee on her birthday. He laced their fingers together and sighed. "I love being in love with you."
"Yeah, it does feel pretty great doesn't it?" Jaycee leaned in for another kiss just as the town car pulled up in front of the fifteen foot tall gate that guarded his father's mansion.
The chauffeur rolled down the window and pressed the button the speaker box. "Password?" The voice prompted.
Benjamin turned his head and looked at Alex through the thin grey divider between the front and back of the town car. "Er, just tell them I'm a family member."
"Family member," Benjamin said uncertainly, holding down the button on the speaker box with his long index finger.
"Family member? Family member? Do you honestly expect me to believe that this young man or woman really and truly has a blood relation to either Mr. Chase Matthews or Mrs. Sheila Carlton-Matthews?" The voice boomed. Benjamin turned around once more and Alex decided he wasn't going to put up with whoever this snotty butler or assistant or whatever.
Opening the door, he stepped out of the car, even though Jaycee was tugging on his arm. "Don't get upset, baby. Everything's gonna be fine."
"Yeah, after I do this," Alex assured her, walking up the speaker box. "Hello sir? I'm Chase Matthews oldest and first child, his only son, Alexander Pedro Martinez."
"Why, is it really you? The lovechild Mr. Matthews had with Ms. Lola Martinez so many many years ago? The very first and eldest child he wants not a thing to do with?"
"Just let us in already. Please. I need to speak with him. Now." Alex had let this man know he meant business. He definitely wasn't faking it at this point. Next, Alex heard a deep muffled sound coming through the speakers, presumably the voice of his father telling whoever the guy was that he was actually his son. There were some crackling noises, and then no more sound came out of the speaker box. The gates swung open, and Alex got back into the car.
Benjamin eased the town car through the gates and Jaycee turned to Alex. "Well?"
"Well, we're in!" Alex told her.
"Are you ready?" she asked, looking him dead in the eyes.
"Ready as I'll ever be," Alex said. Benjamin pulled up in front of his father's mansion, and Alex breathed a sigh of relief. It was finally going to happen, and he was finally ready.
Alex got out of the car at the same time Benjamin did. He reached for the car door to open it for Jaycee, but Alex stopped him just in time. "Thanks, but I think I got it." Benjamin gave him a knowing smile and backed away. Alex took Jaycee's hand as she stepped out of the car.
"You sure you can do this, Xander?" Alex closed the door behind her and nodded.
"Yep."
They walked towards the wide concrete steps hand in hand. Jaycee gave his hand a light squeeze as they approached the door. Looking over, Alex was pleased to find that his dad was already waiting for him on the porch. He wouldn't have to go through the hassle of ringing the doorbell after all.
"Alexander?" His voice blended into the wind, light and soft. Jaycee stepped to the side, letting go of Alex's hand so he and his father could have their privacy. "Hello," he greeted Jaycee, and she waved at her boyfriend's biological father. She could already see where he'd gotten his eyes from. It was strange actually. Mr. Matthews had acknowledged her, but he still didn't seem to know that she was there.
"Dad," Alex cleared his throat and looked his father up and down. "I don't know why I'm here actually."
"Alexander, I just wanted to let you know that no matter what your mother told you, I'm sorry. I really wanted to be there for you, but she wouldn't let me. I regret how the situation played out... but I do want to be a part of your life from here on out."
Alex honestly didn't think his dad deserved to be let in so easily, without so much as a real full explanation on everything. "Dad, I'm not sure that I can believe you-"
"Well, you should son. Because I meant everything I said," Chase stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his son. As much as he wanted to pull back, he couldn't. One of his father's tears rolled into the collar of his button down shirts as he sobbed.
Alex wrapped his arms around his father too. Not because he felt like he had to, but because he wanted to. Life was about second chances, and he was going to give his father one today. He finally understood Jaycee's words. His father did love him, and he was ready to accept that. He was ready to accept him with open arms. He was in the right place.
They stood there holding each other for a few more moments, and Alex didn't feel like a piece of him was missing anymore.