Disclaimer: teen wolf is not mine - anyways, I have been writing funny and happy stuff lately so I think it's time for some angst don't you think? Haha *don't kill me* ;)

Stiles felt ready to throw up he was that nervous. His stress levels were sky high, his heart hammering in his chest with so much force he was surprised his ribs hadn't broke under the sheer force, his palms sweaty as he rubbed them off on his jeans.

They had been waiting here for hours, all of them. Hardly any words passed between them, all too sick to the stomach to think properly let alone speak.

His foot was jiggling up and down, his thumb nail stuck between his teeth as he gnawed on it, his skin torn and bleeding but still he didn't stop, far too engrossed in his thoughts to care.

He should've listened to her when she said Brian was back, should've taken her more seriously. Instead he played it off as nothing, convincing her she had nothing to worry about from Brian's return because denial and avoidance was his thing and look where it got them...

He just should've listened to her, full stop. He should've gone with her, not letting her out of his sight. But he didn't, he let her go and now she was fighting for her life because of him, because of Brian, because of some deranged insane revenge mission.

If he said that one simple word this would never have happened.

"Stay"

That one word could've changed everything.

He dropped his thumb from his mouth only to replace it with his lip, peeling away the dry and chapped skin, his feet continuously tapping on the floor.

Oh god... How long had she been in surgery? It seemed endless, like he was trapped with the four walls closing in on him. His anxiety increased, breaking out in a cold sweat as he blinked back the burning tears trying to force their way forward, his vision blurring.

It wasn't supposed to be like this... None of this was supposed to happen.

One of the last things she said to him was that she loved him, that she wanted nothing more than to make things work for them. And he did too, he wanted that, more than anything. He honest to god thought things were looking up.

They were close to beating the next big bad, his grades had improved, he got his girl back after thinking he had lost her for good and now that possibility was real.

He could lose her. He already could've lost her. She could be... God, she could be dead.

Her injuries were bad, he knew that just by looking at the blood on his dad's sleeves. She was alone and in pain, bleeding out from a femur fracture so deadly it sent her into hypovolemic shock, struggling for air because her lungs were collapsing, suffocating her slowly from the inside out.

A dragged out agony.

He wiped his wet cheeks with the back of his hand, his eyes rimmed red as he laid his elbows on his knees, placing his exhausted head into his hands.

"I don't want to lose you, never ever Stiles, promise me"

He had promised. Of course he had. But now? It was him loosing her, slowly and surely feeling her slipping away.

He tried not to think that way but some part of him just felt it. He knew, deep down, he had already lost her. They all had.

As soon as the door to the cramped waiting room opened Stiles jumped up first, his eyes wide and pleading, praying to whatever God out there that he was just being stupid, being negative, being wrong. Right now he couldn't live without her, she had taken too much of his heart already, without her he was empty.

The doctors' eyes were hollow and sad, his expression mundane and Stiles was sure, just by looking into his dark eyes, how many horrors that man had seen. Horrors that would make anyone scream.

"What happened?" Stiles demanded, well aware of Derek brushing his arm in his haste to stand up, "w-where is she?"

His voice shook, his throat closing as his stomach churned uncomfortably, his legs weak.

No... This wasn't happening.

"I'm sorry-"

No. No. No way. No. This was Kayla they were talking about. No. No way in hell.

"-her injuries were far too extensive-"

'Then fix her' he felt like screaming but his mouth wouldn't work, the blood rushing to his ears.

"-the bleeding was too much-"

Was this what it came to? Dying because of blood loss? No... No. He slowly shook his head, the doctors' words not registering with him.

Kayla was fine. She had to be. They promised each other. He... He needed her dammit, he wanted to spend every second he had next to her. It couldn't be over... Not like this. He loved her... He loved her... He couldn't lose her, he just couldn't. Not now, not ever.

"-she flatlined twice-"

Stiles fell back a step, his knees knocking together. Apart of him, the irrational fucked up emotional part of him wanted to laugh because of course she did, of course she flatlined twice, she was a fighter through and through, fighting and clawing her way back. She was being Kayla. Strong. Stubborn. Determined. Everything he had fallen in love with.

"-and we couldn't save her... I'm sorry"

Sorry? He was sorry was he?

Sorry?

No... Stiles was sorry that the most unique, strong, beautiful, giving person he had met was robbed of the most wonderful life. He would've made sure she had that... A life full of colour, of laughter. He would've made sure she smiled even when she felt ready to fall to the world's challenges. He would've treated her right. He would've given her everything she wanted without her having to ask because he knew her, inside and out, bad side and good, and was prepared to make her happy. No... Elated. Joyful. Whole.

He always just wanted to make her laugh.

To see her smile.

See that cute nose crinkle she did that always made him weak in the knees.

He just wanted to share his life with her, that was all.

And now...

She brought out the best of him, made him see the world with his eyes wide open.

She was his heart. His soul. He had given it to her... No... She had taken it, probably after the first snarky comment she made. His heart and soul was in that operating table. His heart may as well not be beating.

Just like hers.

"... N-No" he muttered, shaking his head as burning hot tears spilled down his cheeks, "no... No she's not... She can't be-"

Derek was frozen next to him, Allison and Lydia starting to cry, Isaac still and Scott shocked.

"I'm sorry for your loss"

Loss wasn't a strong enough word for what he felt. He felt void, empty. Every molecule of his body screaming in blinding agonising pain. Her heart, the sound he listened to so often, that melodic steady hum that was always so constant and strong was... It was...

It was silent.

"No" he repeated, shaking his head, "y-you've made a mistake... She's not d-dead... Kayla's not-"

Because no.

How could he lose her when he just found her?

"There was nothing we could do"

"Shut up" Stiles exclaimed, pointing an angry finger at the doctor as his hand shook, tears flowing down his pale cheeks, "shut up... You didn't save her... You killed her"

He jerked his arm away from Derek, his sadness bubbling to the surface and changing to anger, pure and raw.

"She's... She can't be... I need to see her"

"Mr Stilinski no-"

But he was gone, shoving past the doctor and stumbling his way down the corridor, his feet dragging behind him. Maybe if he saw her, if he saw with his own two eyes, maybe she would be fine, maybe he could help her...

... Maybe he could save her.

The double doors swung open as he fell into the operating room and instantaneously the smell of blood made him want to double over. It was poignant bitter and metallic, eating away at his stomach lining, whatever colour left draining from his face.

His heart stuttered before racing, his skin turning cold.

"You can't be in here"

He ignored the nurse, only registering the fact her scrubs were drenched in smears and splatters of blood, his watery gaze landing on the sole table in the middle of the room.

He felt sick to the stomach, his hands clenching at his sides.

No...

"Mr, you can't-"

He shook off her arm, his feet moving forward on their own accord, tears dribbling off his jaw line as he gazed down at the table, a sheet soaking with blood covering something.

Something eerily the shape of a body.

His bottom lip shook, wobbling as his throat ached, unable to stop the torrent of lava tears that scorched their way down his tears, splashing onto the pristine white sheet turning Crimson.

The smell was stronger here. The blood burning his nostrils but he had to see... He had to see her... Had to be sure.

His hands were shaking so much, his head spinning as he slowly pulled the sheet down to reveal dark hair and stopped, his body freezing.

That hair he always loved so damn much... Especially after a night of restless sleep, it would always be so wild and untameable, so much like herself.

A free spirit.

He dropped the sheet another couple of inches before loosing his nerve and pulling it all the way down to the tops of the shoulders, his lungs constricting painfully.

...

But... No... This wasn't supposed to happen.

He was supposed to say 'stay'.

He was supposed to spend the rest of his life making her happy.

This... This wasn't right.

But it was, it was her. It was unmistakably her.

His Kaylz.

Except for the rosy cheeks and tan skin, the smirk that pulled at her lips, her eyes that were always so bright, so green.

They were shut, never to be opened again.

He would never see those eyes again.

Like a tsunami wave everything hit him at once.

She was gone.

She was dead.

Her face was still and slack but in a way she looked rather peaceful, like she was sleeping. Except when she was sleeping she was breathing.

She didn't look in pain anymore. She didn't look scared. She looked... Like an angel.

"I love you more" she had told him with a smile, a smile so bright and happy it made his heart jump for joy.

"Love you more" he had replied, ecstatic over the fact he had her back. He got her back. They loved each other.

"Impossible" she had muttered with a playful smirk before disappearing from his sight, the last thing he saw was her chestnut hair disappearing around the corner.

That was the last words they spoke.

And now? Here she was... So still... So empty... Gone.

He didn't even get to say goodbye.

"... K-Kaylz" he croaked, "please... Please do me a favour... Please just... Don't be dead"

She didn't answer, didn't even crack a smile.

All that was here was a bloody, battered and bruised shell.

He fisted the sheet around her that was covering her injuries, his breathing coming out as gasps, "Kayla... Don't be dead... Listen to me... Don't be dead"

"Please"

His heart was torn from his chest, loss eating him up from the inside out like a fungus.

"Please"

And he sobbed like he had never sobbed before.

Brokenly. Tiredly.

And that was how sheriff Stilinski found his son.

Bloodied.

Tear stained.

Heart broken.

Cradling his dead girlfriend's limp and broken body and not letting go. One word being whispered over and over again.

... "Stay"

A)n okay so y'all hate me probs army I hate me, I really do haha but please please review, I need to know if I managed to kill any of you haha hope you liked xx