"How was school today honey?"
The usual question...With the usual answer of course.
"Fine."
Charlie nodded with a smile and then turned back to the game.
Today had been neither worse nor better than all other days in school.
I went up to my room to start my computer. See i have this need to write what happened everyday. Kind of like diary. Well its not like i have anyone to talk to so i have to write to get stuff off my mind.
I avoided the girls room like usual but of course they would find me anyways. Today they got to me in the cafeteria. I was sitting by my usual table when i heard the dreaded clicking noise of their approach."Are you sitting here all alone Bella?" Alice said in her disgustingly high voice.
I just ignored the question and pretended that they weren't even here. "Of course she is sitting by herself Alice, its not like anybody would want to join her" Jessica snickered at Rosalie's comment and continued."If you'd like Bella we could always join you today" I was really trying to just ignore them but it was getting harder for every word that escaped their slutty, painted mouths.
"Yeah i can even let you borrow my lipstick Bella, I've got just the right color for you!" Rosalie said and sat dow next to me. She started to look through her bag and pulled out a lipstick . She then started painting on my cheek. She was writing something, something terribly funny according to Alice and Jessica..."Aw shit now I have to throw this lipstick away! Thanks freak!" Rosalie said and looked accusingly at me. Then Alice grabbed my cheek and turned my face to read more properly before she realized her slip and quickly dropped her hand and glanced worriedly at Rosalie. It was getting really hard to just pretend like I didn't care. And I hoped that my lack of resisting would get them bored of me. "Ew Alice you touched her!" Rosalie said and looked disapprovingly at Alice. She started quickly to "clean" her hand on a napkin and gave me an accusing look. Like it was my fault . See they had decided that I was some disgusting disease, so if I touched anything no one could touch it until it was properly cleaned cuz "If you touched anything that Bella's touched you would get Bella's disgusting germs all over you and then no one would associate with you 'cuz now you're just as disgusting as Bella." So Of course no one even dared to talk to me. The only ones who did talk to me never had anything nice to say anyways so I would prefer that they would just shut up. Alice started heading for the girls room to wash her hand while Rosalie and Jessica snickered at her stupidity. And then with one last sneer at me they finally left. I let out a shaky breath and slowly stood up and walk out to my usual place and let myself drown in self disgust. When the bell rang I realized that I hadn't washed my cheek from whatever Rosalie wrote on it. I pulled out my phone to look at my reflection and sure it was still there but a bit smeared so I tried to get it off with my sleeve . The lipstick didn't totally get away but it didn't looked like it had been any letters there. So I got off the ground and walked to biology and sat down by my table and tried to hide my cheek with my hair. I saw in the corner of my eye that my lab partner moved away his chair so far away he could and I heard Jessica snicker in the back of the room. She apparently had this crush on Edward and they had been together a few times so no wonder he moves his chair away even though probably anybody who sat beside me would get as far away from me as possible. Gym was Horrible...Of course. They snickered as usual when I went to change in the stalls. Then no one would give me the ball or run to close to me and the coach would call me over at the end and tell me that I had to try to get in the game and that next time he wanted to see me make a goal. I would nod and then lock myself in the bathroom until I didn't hear anyone left in the locker room. Then I would have a quick shower and then change quickly to almost run to my car and drive home.
I wasn't all alone though. I had one single friend. A childhood friend. Sometime I wish that Jake would go to my school so that I would have at least one friend there. But then... what if he would've been just as scared of talking to me like the rest of the school? But it was nice having a friend who didn't knew about what everyone thought of me in school, someone I could feel like any other kid with. If he knew he would just make things worse with doing some stupid shit like ditch his own school to be my private body guard or something like that. I took of my shirt and stared down at my chest. All covered in the thin pink scars I got from my razor blade. I grimaced and put on my shirt again. They were right. I knew that. I had always known that. I was covered in disgusting scars that I had done myself. Nobody does that who isn't seriously stupid and disgusting like me. I went to the bathroom and took my razor blades of the shelf. I locked the door and took off my shirt again and pressed the blade to the skin on my ribcage. Then slowly dragged it to the side. I felt the sting and saw the red blood stream out from the cut. It always fascinated me how much blood it came from such a little cut. I placed the blade on the same spot and dragged it over the freshly made cut. I did this a few times until I was sure that the pain of the wound would distract me enough so I wouldn't start thinking to much. I died up the blood until it stopped bleeding and then put on my shirt and went to bed. My phone vibrated from the bedside table. The text was from Jacob of course. He wondered if I would wanna come to La push tomorrow and "hang out". I answered him that I would come and then I put my phone on charge and closed my eyes to drift into sleep.