Title: Tighty-Whities
Author: Simon
Characters: Nightwing and Speedy
Rating: PG
Summary: An old question finds it's answer
Warnings: severe dumbness
Disclaimers: These guys aren't mine, they don't belong to me, worst luck, so don't bother me.
Archive: Fine, but if you want it, please ask first.
Feedback: Hell, yes. Baeden2020
Tighty-Whities
"So, I don't get it."
Dick Grayson—Nightwing—barely glanced up. "'Don't get what?"
"Why you and almost every other hero dude does it." A pause. "Okay. You don't but you used to. Sort of."
"...Do what?"
"Your uniforms. Almost everyone's uniforms. It doesn't make sense."
He half sighed, knowing there was no way out of involving himself in whatever the hell Roy was babbling about this time. "What doesn't make sense?"
"Hell, I never did it and I don't think Ollie did either. Or maybe he did but that was a long time ago."
Thinking 'either make your point or kill me', Dick decided to play along. "Never did what?"
"Wore our jockey's on the outside. I mean, seriously—what's that about?"
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, seriously. What the hell?"
"Tight creep."
Pause. "...Huh?"
A long suffering sigh. "Tights. They tend to creep down unless they're new or freshly washed. Wearing something over them keeps them up."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"And you learned this...where?"
Dick knew this would be a mistake but sometimes it's better to just face the truth and consequences be damned. "You know back when Clark was starting out as Superboy?"
"Yeah, sure."
" He had the same problem so his mother, I mean his adoptive mother, Martha Kent, told him how she kept her pantyhose up. It worked; he told a few of the other Justice Leaguers."
The laughter was long and loud, finally settling into private chuckles and an occasional giggle and snort as Roy stood, threw his jacket over his shoulder and headed for the door. "Wait til Ollie finds out Superman clued Batman in on how to keep his friggin' tights tight."
The door slammed shut as Dick took out his cell phone. "...Yeah, Bruce, hi. Something's come up; I'll be away for a few days, maybe a week..."
10/18/13