Disclaimer: My mommy said that if I was good and got decent grades, then I could be whatever I wanted… unfortunately, that apparently does not include J. K. Rowling, so I don't get to own her stories or characters.
Summary: This is just a one-shot about Hermione and her lost love. *Kind of AU.*
A/N: This story is pretty different from my other ones, and I'm not sure if I like it. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated :).
She paused to glance in the mirror and immediately regretted the action. The face that looked back at her was emotionless. It had not held a smile for her in too long. 'I'm dying,' she voiced aloud to herself, only to have the statement confirmed by the blank stare of her reflection. Of course she knew how she had gotten here, she just didn't know what to do now. She couldn't go back, it would destroy the entire effort; but she was losing the strength needed to move forward. Sighing, she exited the bathroom, and what was left of Hermione Granger made its way to the fire and flooed to Grimmauld Place. There, the eighteen-year-old was greeted by Luna Lovegood, who had been hurrying by at the moment of her arrival. Luna, along with most of the members of the Order of the Phoenix, was constantly going in and out of this house. It was their meeting place, their refuge. Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody would divvy out tasks to each as they came, and keep tabs on the rest. Even those still at Hogwarts were under careful surveillance, in attempt to keep Voldemort from taking them by surprise.
Hermione made her way to the kitchen; there she saw Ron Weasley and flashed a smile. He returned it and offered her a pancake. She accepted and sat down wondering once again how none of her friends had noticed the change. Sure, she put on her best and tried to act normal, but they were her best friends. They were supposed to notice when something was wrong. How could the closest people to her, now, she added wistfully, not notice that she was falling apart inside? Occasionally somebody would comment that she didn't seem to be in a good mood; but she would carelessly blame it on lack of sleep, and they would chalk it up to the stress of war. Nobody ever looked deeper than that. But why should they? she questioned internally. They have bigger things to worry about. However, the words offered little consolation.
Lost in thought, she absently fingered the simple silver heart around her neck. It was seemingly insignificant, as it had merely been a trinket from a store, bought on a whim. But he had seen her wearing it one day and asked about it. When she had replied that, in fact, it was her only piece of jewelry that held no sentimental value, he quickly stated it represented his heart. It fit him well, she had decided later, and the article had never left her neck since.
A wry smile settled on Hermione's face when she realized what she was doing, and she let the charm fall through her fingers. It was the only physical representation of him she had, but he probably didn't even remember it, her thoughts sighed. After all, throughout the months they had been separated, he had only tried to contact her once. Then, when she had responded, albeit hours later, he had not continued the correspondence. She was confused. She knew he loved her, or at least he had, so shouldn't he miss her? Yes, she was the one who had told him they couldn't be together, as they were on opposite sides of the war and would be putting too many lives in danger. But she had also said that she loved him, forever, and that after the battle was over, they would have their chance.
It's not fair to expect him to wait that long, she mentally admonished, but, a second thought said, why didn't he try at all?
"Are you going to eat that pancake or just stare at it?" Ron interrupted her thoughts suddenly.
"Oh," came the surprised response, "umm, no, you can have it I guess."
"Shesh Hermione," her companion laughed, "None of us like the war, but how can you get so preoccupied with your thoughts to not eat?"
She shrugged, feigning innocence, but silently replied, if I was only thinking about the fight I might see your point. However, my naïve friend, I am lost in love. With none other than the famed Draco Malfoy. The very same one that you and all of my loved ones happen to despise.