Author's Note: I honestly can not believe I wrote one of these fics for the Hobbit. I honestly can't. Dear Mr. Tolkien is most likely rolling over in his grave, lol.
For those of you who have no idea what I'm on about, I wrote two fics sort of along these same sort of lines as this many, many years ago for Twilight (before Twilight became huge and my love for it was destroyed by the movies, the Twihards and haters. Sorry, but it's true. I also just grew out of it.) and for some absurd reason, felt like writing a Hobbit version. Why brain, why?
Personally, I think it's quite cute and I got a good giggle out of writing it. I want to give the kid a big hug (haven't yet decided if its a boy or girl yet, as you'll find out once you start reading this fic, so I'll let you decide which you want the kid to be).
So obviously this is a Bagginshield fic but with a fem!Bilbo (I'm sort of obsessed with the idea of Bilbo being a girl 'hangs head and waits to be shot').
Anyway, please enoy, I would love to hear your thoughts and if you wish for me to continue on with is fic. I have a few more ideas that I wouldn't mind writing up, but I'll leave it up to you lot if you want this fic continued.
Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own The Hobbit or anything LOTR. I've wished that I did since I was about six years old, but sadly no such luck yet.
Mama can I be…
An elf
"Mama, can I be an elf?" Bilbo head shot up from where she had been tending the small garden that grew outside the royal chambers of King Thorin, King Under the Mountain and stared in disbelief at her child
"You want to be what?"
"An elf." Her child's bright blue eyes were wide and sincere.
"Oh darling," Bilbo said as she wiped the dirt from her hands on the apron that she wore around her waist as she gave a weak laugh, "your father would not like that."
"Why?"
"You know how your father feels about elves." She replied as she picked up her basket of vegetables and ushered her young child back inside the royal chambers.
"But it's silly for him to still feel that way towards them," her child protested as they made their way towards the small kitchen area that was set up shortly after she became the wife of the King Under the Mountain and had fallen with child some three months later. "They helped us in the end, didn't they?"
"Yes, yes they did. But Dwarves have long memories, they will always remember the offences that are paid towards them and they rarely forgive those who caused the offense." Luckily, in my case, I was an exception, she thought with a great deal of relief as she started to wash the vegetables that she had pulled from her garden in a the smooth, stone basin.
"But that's just silly." Her child exclaimed, stamping a bare foot against the stone of the kitchen chamber.
"That's the stubbornness of dwarves for you." Bilbo replied before groaning inside her head, knowing full well that her child would most likely repeat what she had just said. Most likely to the child's sire first.
As expected her child giggled mischievously.
"Papa won't like that."
"Your Papa," Bilbo sighed, "doesn't really like a lot of things, besides from the things that he does like and those, I fear, are few in number and we are lucky to be one of those few."
Her child chewed on this for a few moments before saying, "I still want to be an elf."
Bilbo shook her head and proceeded to cut up some vegetables for dinner.
"Why dearest?"
"Because they're tall." Bilbo looked over at her child who was sitting at the table, legs swinging back and forth, a very serious expression written all over the small face.
"You want to be an elf simply because you would then be tall?" She snorted with laughter.
"Yes."
Bilbo laughed a little harder at that.
"Then why not simply be a human? They're tall. And your Papa gets on far better with them than he does with elves."
Her child sat in silence for a moment, chewing over this piece of information.
"No," a shake of dark black curls, "I still want to be an elf."
Bilbo sighed heavily.
"Alright," she sighed, "but how about we keep this just between the two of us, hmmm?"
"Oh alright." A bright smile and Bilbo wonders silently how long this agreement will in fact last.
She hears the main door to the royal chambers being opened and then slammed shut (Dwarves, Bilbo has discovered the hard way, all have the inability of closing doors quietly. Every door they open, they must for some explicit reason that she has no knowledge of how it came about – if she did, she'd have long since throttled the Dwarf whom started it – then slam it shut. It was quite an irritating quality and one she hopes she can cure her husband and friends of along with preventing her child from the developing the trait. She has little hope of achieving either) and the sounds of heavy footfalls upon the stone floor heading in the direction of the kitchen.
"Hello." Bilbo greeted her husband with a wide and warm smile as their child bolted out the chair with a loud, delighted squeal of "PAPA!" before throwing its full weight into said Papa's arm. Luckily for them both that Thorin was a very strong dwarf who had long since learned to accept and expect such attacks the moment he walked through his front door.
With ease that Bilbo had long since learned to not be jealous of, Thorin lifted their squealing, laughing child above his head with one hand.
"Thorin." Bilbo said, gesturing with both her eyes and voice for him to lower their child back onto solid ground before someone got seriously hurt. She received two very reproachful looks in return but her husband did as he was silently asked and their child was returned to the safety of the chamber floor, pouting all the while.
"Mama!" Bilbo rolled her eyes but continued on cutting up vegetable for their evening dinner, leaving Thorin to entertain their child.
"Mama's no fun, is she?" she heard her king of a husband stage-whisper to their child.
She shot him a look to only receive one of his heart-stopping smiles in return. Bastard! He knew she could never stay annoyed at him for long whenever he gave her one of those smiles.
"Nope." Their child agrees, again stamping a bare foot against the stone floor, "she won't let me be…"
"Sweetheart." Bilbo interrupted her child's rant with a swift look and her child fell, for once, obediently quiet. Thorin looked between mother and child, his brilliant sapphire blue eyes curious.
"Mama won't let you be… what?" He asked slowly.
Their child opened their mouth to respond only to fall once more silent with another swift look from Bilbo.
"Billanna." Thorin shot her exasperated look causing Bilbo to wave her arms up in defeat. Thorin was the only one of their company who called her by her true name and so she tended to pay him more heed when he did use it.
Well, she had tried her best to stop it, now she simply had to make sure that her husband remembered his temper around their small child.
"What is you want to be, little one? Do you no longer like being the only known Dwobbit in existence?"
"No." their child said with a firm shake of its head.
"Then what would you like to be instead?" this was a usual game played within their family and close friends. The little one was constantly wanting to be something other than being the only known Dwobbit to be born in Middle-Earth known history, but normally the little Dwobbit chose things that usually wouldn't set the Dwarven King's temper aflame.
Bilbo held her breath as her child proudly proclaimed the wish to be an elf.
She felt her husband took it surprisingly well considering all things. He only went slightly purple in the face and it was with their child insistent tugging on his tunic sleeve that he remembered to keep his temper.
He shot her such a look, almost as if blaming her for this current development. She had to fight the childish desire to stick her tongue out at him in return. She was trying to teach her child to be a well-manner Dwobbit… she wasn't having much success though.
"Why – why would you wish to be an elf?" He somehow managed to choke out.
"Apparently because they're tall." Bilbo offered, smiling at her still very red in the face husband who shot her another glare.
"Then why not a human?"
"I asked that too." Bilbo offered again, once more receiving another annoyed glace from her oh so sweet and loving husband. Well, he could be those things… when he felt like it, of course.
"But I don't want to be a human, Papa. I want to be an elf."
"Of course," Thorin groaned, throwing himself into a chair by the well-crafted wooden table, "why not? Of course my child would wish to be an elf instead of the more sensible desire of being a Dwarf. Or a Hobbit." He quickly added when he noticed Bilbo's hard look that she had shot in his direction.
"Would you not like me Papa, if I was an elf?" their child asked with such sad and solemn eyes that Thorin quickly forgot his own depression and immediately pulled his child into his lap, to comfort and reassure.
"Of – of course I would. I just – Of course I would." He gave a small sigh before giving his child a warm, fatherly smile.
Bilbo smiled at the scene before turning her full attention to her cooking, ignoring the join grumbles of her husband and child at how many vegetables she was proceeding to cook up with their dinner.
"If you wish to be an elf," Bilbo said, wiggling her finger at her child, "you must eat lots and lots of vegetables, especially green ones."
Her child looked horrified at the suggestion.
"But I don't like green food." The child whined.
"Well, if you wish to become an elf, than green food is what you must eat." Bilbo said patiently, watching in amusement as her child looked to Thorin for confirmation, which he gave with a sharp nod of his head and their child's horrified expression grew.
"Alright, so maybe I don't want to be an elf after all," came the slow, dejected grumble. Thorin looked quite relieved and happily pattered the black curls as the child buried its face into his shoulder.
"Good, but you'll still have to eat your vegetables though."
"MAMA!"
"Billanna!"
Bilbo simply continued on with her work, fighting back a grin as she felt both her husband and child disgruntled glares. Oh how she loved her unconventional family.
Author's Note: Again, I have no idea how this came about, honestly, but you have to admit, it is sweet. It was fun to write after a long day at work.
Please review and let me know what you think because I'd love to hear your thoughts.