I know this is one of a million and one post-finale fics out there, so if you've stumbled upon mine thanks! Bones is property of Fox, and HH I'm just playing around.
I know I'm stalling as I say goodbye to my friends and co-workers, can I call Dr. Hodgins and Dr. Saryon friends? I feel like I should be able to, for I know I will miss the dearly this year. But they are not the last faces I want to see, so I ignore Miss Wick calling me again and scan the crowd for the face I know may not even be able to make it.
But he did, I shouldn't be surprised. I also should expect the racing in my heart and the pause in my breathing, but I can't say that they startle me any less. Booth has had that affect on me for years now, but I know in my heart that this reaction stems from entirely different feelings.
Since when do I believe in these feelings or that any kind of feelings could be found in the heart? I know it is a stretch for me to pinpoint the exact time myself but I do know that they are there. I know the tenderness in Angela's hopeful wish is her, longing for me to find happiness. I know that Hodgins abundance of advice is his way of telling me he cares. I now that Cam feels abandoned by all of us as we leave her behind. And I know that Booth doesn't want to say goodbye even though we both know that this time was coming.
I have the unique ability to rationalize my emotions however and try to think them out before I act upon them, which I why I don't say goodbye to Booth. I hope I am making the right decision. But as I look into his eyes as he and I repeat the same type of unsolicited advice Hodgins gave me with the same effect I know that for once I have.
I hold his hand tight remembering the feeling of the caressing my skin that night. I try to drink in as much of the feeling as I can and in that moment I'm not sure that I can let him go. But as always Booth knows exactly what I need and pulls his hand away.
He walks away from me, only looking back once and I know now that this man is stronger than I ever gave him credit for, and I know that he is strong enough to fight for both of us. I hope to take this year to become the kind of warrior that he needs, the person who is just as willing to fight as he is. But I know that even if we come back in a year and I am not ready he will have taken the time apart to heal and he will be ready to fight enough for both of us.
He promised.
Next up is Cam, Ange and Hodgins.