Katekyo Hitman Jalen
Hello my fellow FanFictioners! I hope that's a word… Anyway, I was thinking of starting a new FanFic. It will be about the Varia coming to the U.S.A to meet their new cloud guardian! I had a dream about the Varia coming to my house and we did epic stuff. We also went other places, but sadly, dreams just have to end when your mom wakes you up for school. CURSE YOU MOTHER!
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and I'm going to enjoy writing it.
This will be TYL Varia. It would be younger Varia, but I need Fran!
The Varia will not be OOC.
WARNING! Levi will have dialogue! Read at your own risk…
Squalo was officially pissed. Xanxus just demanded he find a suitable cloud guardian just randomly out of the blue. It went something like this…
The Varia guardians were eating there dinner, professionally made by Lussuria. Everyone had crab legs and lobster, except for Xanxus who ate his steak. How he could be healthy after only eating Steak was a mystery.
"I want a cloud guardian, scum," Xanxus said, before cutting up another piece of steak. Levi poured him his cup of wine, before sitting down beside him. Everyone kept eating normally, Bel quietly laughing now and then. After what seemed like an eternity to Xanxus, he took out his guns and aimed then at Squalo.
"VOOI! WHAT THE HE-?!" Squalo avoided a headshot, before standing up waving his sword around, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU CRAPPY BOSS! YOU DON'T JUST RANDOMLY SHOOT AT PEOPLE'S HEADS!"
"Long haired captain, could you keep it down? We are trying to have a family meal here." Fran droned, before eating another crab leg.
"SHUT UP YOU BRAT! YOU CALL THIS A FAMILY MEAL? YOU DON'T TAKE OUT GUNS AND SHOOT AT A FAMILY MEAL!" Squalo yelled.
"Boss can do whatever he wants," Fran replied, "And you're still yelling."
"Fran is right! You don't talk to boss like that anyway! You should be beheaded!" Levi yelled, but Squalo ignored his presence.
"Shishi~ beheading was one of my favorite past times."
"You're creepy, fake prince."
Cue knife in Fran's hat.
"My, my… can't we all just get along?" Lussuria whined, before trying to calm Squalo down.
"GET OFF OF ME YOU PERVERT!"
"Long haired captain, please… We just want to finish our meal in peace."
Cue knife in Fran's hat.
"Why are you so violent, stupid fake prince? I'm going to cut you a deal. Every knife you throw at me disappears."
Cue 2 more knives in Fran's hat.
"You're so hardheaded." Fran said before all the knives in Fran's hat disappeared, "You're just ruining the hat you spent with your money. Scratch that, you have no money."
"Shishishi~ give the prince his knives back frog."
"No."
"I WANT A CLOUD GUARDIAN, TRASHES!"
Everyone turned their heads to Xanxus after his loud outburst. Squalo pushed Lussuria off of him, and sat down. Everyone else did too. Xanxus grunted, satisfied, and started eating his meat.
"Boss, what made this come up?" Lussuria asked.
"Vongola the 9th thinks we are at a disadvantage with only 6 guardians. We have to do an extremely important mission soon, and he says we need to get a cloud guardian. Apparently, we need it by next month." Xanxus explained, before drowning his wine and Levi pouring him another glass.
"VOOI, Why can't those stupid Vongola brats do it then, since they already have 7 guardians?!" Squalo asked, obviously pissed since he knew he would have to be the one to go on a wild goose chase for a cloud guardian.
"I don't know, trash! Just go find the freaking guardian! It doesn't matter who, we can kill him after the mission!" Xanxus demanded, before standing up and stomping to his office. Levi was right behind him, smirking at Squalo. Squalo growled, before getting up and stomping to his room to plan things out.
Squalo's mood just got worse from there. He brought a cloud user back to the mansion, but he didn't last a day.
"This is the Varia mansion; your room should be over here…" Squalo said, before the cloud user (Who we will call Akihisa) pinned him to the wall.
"Why don't you and I go to my room for a while, baby girl?" Akihisa whispered. Squalo turned red.
"WHAT THE FU**?! I'M A GUY!" Squalo roared in his face, but it was too late. Akihisa stole his lips right after he said "guy".
5 minutes later….
Fran was walking through the Varia mansion, whistling a tune, before he came across a weird sight.
There were pieces of body parts on the ground, and Squalo was continuously stabbing what Fran thinks remained of the head.
"Long haired captain," Fran called out, "Why did you kill the new recruit? Boss is not going to like this, and why are you red?"
Fran gasped as he put his fist in his palm, "He sexually harassed you because he thought you were a girl, didn't he?"
Squalo turned his head towards Fran in a robotic motion, and actually almost thought about murdering him. But when he thought about having to find a new cloud AND mist guardian, he could just sigh and walk to his room, "Clean this mess up, brat."
The next guy wasn't as lucky either. The whole Varia was in the living room as Squalo was introducing the new guy (Which we will call Frank).
"So this is Frank. He will be the Cloud Guardian, any questions?" Squalo announced. Bel laughed.
"So… you will be my assistant, any questions? Shishi~," Bel said. Frank looked at him confused, before smiling.
"Yes, I have one question. Are you a boy or a girl? You have a boy's voice, but you have on a tiara… are you a transve-?"
Those were Frank's last words before his throat was cut open.
"Hello, my name is Jessica. How are you guys doing today? I am the new Cloud Guardian for the Varia, and if you have any problems or worries, just tell me. I would love to hear your complaints or worries and give you ways on how to deal with them or fix them." Jessica smiled as she gave her introduction. Fran walked up to her and took her to his room.
1 hour later…
"VOOI! Fran, what are you doing with her in there?!" Squalo yelled, before knocking down the door.
"If you're going to knock down my door, you shouldn't ask me what I'm doing."
Squalo looked around, before stopping at Jessica on the ground muttering things and pulling her hair out.
"VOOI?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!" Squalo yelled/asked. Fran looked down on to Jessica on the floor, now biting her nails.
"Oh. I did what she said and told her all my complaints and worries." Fran explained like it was as simple as that. Well… I guess it was.
Squalo simply turned around and smashed his head on the wall multiple times.
"Long haired captain, are you thinking about committing suicide? I could help you if you want, you just need to ask."
Squalo then stopped, and for the second time, thought about whether he should just kill Fran now. BUT he thought about getting a new cloud AND mist guardian and could just sigh and walk out the room, "Fix this door, and if she doesn't stop in under an hour, dispose of her."
"But long haired captain…" Fran droned, "You were the one that broke the door."
The 4th cloud guardian didn't even get in the mansion. Squalo and he were walking to the door, when a blast shot through the door and hit the cloud guardian straight in the head. Squalo just stared at him for a while, and then opened his box weapon in a rage.
Half the Varia mansion was destroyed that day.
"I quit!" Squalo yelled as he slammed his head on the table.
"Shishishi~, is the shark getting depressed?" Bel picked at Squalo. Squalo muttered a word that will not be typed, and then stood up.
"Long haired captain, Jessica is still alive; she is sleeping silently on my floor." Fran said. Squalo turned around and almost jumped for joy!
"Um… good afternoon everyone…" Jessica muttered as she sleepily walked towards the table.
Levi suddenly stood up and blocked her path.
"Um… could you please… listen to my worries and complaints?" Levi asked shyly. Lussuria suddenly got up and ran over to them.
"OH! Me too! I want you to listen to me too!" Lussuria giggled.
Jessica looked at them for a few seconds before taking out a knife and stabbing herself in the stomach 5 times. She fell on the floor giggling and bleeding to death.
"Bye… cruel world…. Hehehehehehe…" She said before she stopped moving. Everyone stared at her, except Xanxus, and did a prayer in their head.
"Bel-sempai, you have a new doll."
Cue knives in Fran's hat.
The knives disappeared, and Fran stared at Bel, victory in his eyes.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Squalo yelled as he ran over to Jessica's dead body, "PLEASE BE ALIVE! PLEASE! I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE! AUGH! LUSSURIA, HEAL HER! BRING HER BACK TO LIFE! DO SOMETHING!"
Lussuria was in the corner crying, ignoring Squalo. Xanxus stood up and pointed his gun at Squalo.
"Where's my cloud guardian, trash?" He demanded. Squalo seemed to be trying to hold back tears.
"WHAT THE FU**?! YOU JUST SAW HER DIE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! YOU ARE REALLY PISSING ME OFF!" Squalo yelled.
Xanxus pulled the trigger and Squalo managed to get out the way in time.
"VOOOI! STOP IT YOU SH**** BOSS! I'LL FIND A NEW CLOUD GUARDIAN, ALRIGHT?!"
"If the new cloud guardian dies, you die long haired captain."
"VOOI! NO WAY!"
Xanxus shot at Squalo again, and burned some of his hair.
"VOOI! OKAY! FINE! NONE OF YOU BETTER KILL HIM!" Squalo yelled.
The Varia mansion quickly grew quiet as Xanxus went to his office (Levi slowly following behind) and Squalo heading to his room.
"Shishishi~ who agrees we should kill the new recruit?" Bel asked the remaining members of Varia in the kitchen.
Lussuria gasped and put his hands over his mouth, "Bel-chan! I am not doing that! How could you even think of taking another person's life?!"
"We are assassins, Lussuria-sempai." Fran said as he got up to head to his room. Bel threw 2 knives in his back.
"You're not just going to leave without telling the prince your decision," Bel said.
"Oh, sorry fake prince," Fran said as the knives in his back disappeared, "My decision is that you are a stupid sadistic un-royal fake prince or S.S.U.F.P for short."
"Kaching! You dare make fun of the REAL prince, frog?! Give me my knives back, and your death won't be painful!" Bel exclaimed as he took out 5 knives.
"Um… considering that most of your knives vanished when you threw them at me, the smart thing to do would be to NOT throw knives at me," Fran deadpanned.
"Bel-chan! Fran-chan! Please stop fighting!" Lussuria yelled. Bel ignored him and charged at Fran. Fran simply started to vanish, and before Bel could attack him, he was gone.
"Grrrr…" Bel growled before stomping to his room, "I'll dissect that frog."
Lussuria was left in the kitchen alone, before smiling, "I wonder what kind of person the cloud guardian will be…"
A few days later…
The Varia was standing in front of house, slightly bored. They were in the United States of America, and in the county called Georgia. Squalo thought that maybe the reason the cloud guardians kept dying was because they were either from Italy or Japan. He decided that this was a nice change, and that maybe the cloud guardian wouldn't die the first 5 minutes in Varia.
And Vongola the 9th also said this guy was strong, and would be a good addition to the Varia, which meant 1 thing. The guy had to be insane, but we'll see soon…
"Can you go ring the doorbell now, trash?! We've been standing here for about 2 minutes!" Xanxus ordered. Squalo mentally screamed at his boss, and walked towards the 1 story house.
"This is a house for a peasant, I don't like it here…" Bel muttered, before walking behind Squalo.
"This person may be as filthy as the fake prince…"
Cue knife in Fran's hat.
"You're just destroying the hat you bought."
Cue 2 more knives in Fran's hat.
"….Okay."
"My, oh my… they don't have a garden? That's awful…"
"Boss, let me carry you. You shouldn't have to step on the nasty floor they might have…"
"Don't touch me, scum."
"VOOIII! STOP COMPLAINING AND COME ON ALREADY!" Squalo yelled at the Varia members who were still on the sidewalk. They all sighed and walked to the house.
They all stood on the porch for a second, before Xanxus took out his gun and shot the door open impatiently. The Varia looked in the house and saw a boy sitting on a couch, looking at the Mafia Channel. He had an orange T-shirt, blue shorts, and brown curly hair… Oh yeah, and he wasn't an adult.
"VOOII?! WHAT THE HELL?! IT'S JUST SOME STUPID BRAT!" Squalo yelled as he stomped up to the boy. The boy looked at him with dis-interest, and looked back at the TV.
"Excuse me sweetie," Lussuria caught the boy's attention, "Are you perhaps Jalen Brown?"
The boy nodded slightly, before looking at the TV again.
"Shishishi~ this kid's not even worried that 6 men just busted into his house…" Bel said.
"Maybe he's just a maniac like you, Bel-sempai."
Cue knives in Fran's hat.
"Excuse me, but are you 6 perhaps the Varia?" Jalen asked them. They all nodded slightly, except Xanxus, "Oh, then I was told to call the police as soon as I saw you guys, excuse me…"
"VOOII!" Squalo cut up the phone he was heading to.
"Okay…" Jalen deadpanned.
'NO! NOT ANOTHER FRAN!' Everyone thought. (Except Xanxus and Fran).
'This brat might be strong.' Xanxus thought.
'Maybe the fake prince will bug this guy and not me.' Fran thought.
"AHHHHH!" Jalen screamed as he ran in another room. The Varia gave a mixed reaction, and simply followed him into the room. They saw as Jalen was trying to open the window, but his 12 year old mind could not figure out how.
"Um... how old are you?" Fran asked seriously. Jalen looked at him calmly.
"Oh, I'm 12," Jalen answered before giving a distressed look and trying to break open the door.
"I'm not the only one that saw that, right?" Fran asked. The rest of the Varia shrugged, except Bel and Xanxus.
"The brat's emotion seemed to change for a second, then back to the scared one," Bel told them, "And… I saw something else too…"
"Um, excuse me."
The Varia looked down at the 12 year old.
"I don't think you guys would kidnap a defenseless weak little kid that can't even open up a window, right?" Jalen asked.
Squalo grabbed Jalen by the collar and started to walk out the room, "Sorry kid, but Vongola the 9th told us to take you to Varia Mansion, and you are the Varia Cloud Guardian until you die… and if you die I die, so you won't die."
"I see…"
Suddenly, Jalen elbowed Squalo, making him let go of his collar.
"W-wha-?!"
Jalen then kicked Squalo and sent him blasting into the Dirty Clothes room. (A room in my house where we put the dirty clothes at.)
The Varia members that weren't unconscious stared wide eyed (Except for Fran) as 12 year old Jalen suddenly grew and started to look older.
"I told that damn old man I didn't want to join Varia, but of course you can't tell him anything," Jalen sighed, "Well, I guess it doesn't matter what I SAY!"
There was a moment of silence before Jalen broke it, "I'm Jalen Brown, 25 years old, and I guess I'm your cloud guardian…"
Another moment of silence before…
"Wow… That was unexpected."
Cue knives in Fran's hat.