A/N – I decided to start this story up again. Can't remember if I had actually ever posted this one here before – but meh. Maybe you'll find it as funny as I do Oo doubtful lol

Raphael: The German boy must return to me!
Ivy: not looking up from an article she's been attempting to read Do you even know what his name is love?
Raphael: Erm… Never mind that!
Ivy: rolls eyes
Raphael: Don't give me that look! All that matters is that I free him from that beast and make him mine.
Ivy: By that beast, do you mean himself?
Raphael: Of course! pauses wait, what?
Ivy: Well, SIEGFRIED is inside the armour – his own armour- he took the sword without caring AND still didn't release it when his arm mutated.
Raphael: And? wonders who Siegfried is
Ivy: sighs Therefore he IS the beast and doesn't want to be saved
Ivy: mutters at least not by a ponz anyway
Raphael: I heard that, on-guard!!
Ivy: Oh for F…
Raphael: slaps a hand over her mouth Quiet!! I hear my love… he is close!
Nightmare: Maybe I can sneak past without him noticing. Dammit why do I have to go this way?
Raphael: Oh my poor heart pounds to the sound of his dulcet tones. My soul is a-fire when I hear that rich voice singing his melodious words of wisdom.
Nightmare: Oh for fuck sake where's that fucking map?! continuously curses under breath while kicking some peasant for getting in his way
Raphael: Ahem… I would like to retract my previous statement
Ivy: eye's wide really?
Raphael: Of course! Such foul language and… well… disgraceful behaviour raises eyebrow my German boy would never act like that!
Ivy: Siegfried
Raphael: Whatever… Point is, his actions are obviously the monsters doing!
Ivy: And the monster is also blinding him from his love for you?
Raphael: Of course it is!
Ivy: Uh huh… I'm gonna go now…
Raphael: wait! You must lure my love here, and then I shall smite the beast that contains him!
Ivy: Right… I definitely don't wanna be around to clean up that mess
Raphael: Hahaha! Yes, it will be quite a mess when I'm done with him!
Ivy: Actually I was thinking of when he's done with you. You're gonna get pwned.
Raphael: Shut up

Meanwhile

Nightmare: shivers something terrible has just happened… Oh God no! He knows I'm here!!
Nightmare: kicks peasant once more and runs like the wind

In the Mansion

Raphael: Ivy!! Do something!!
Ivy: Don't worry, I got someone on it
Raphael: arms crossed oh do you now?
Ivy: Yep continues to read the same article she's been trying to read for the past hour
Raphael: quirks eyebrow and who would that be, pray?
Ivy: Oh you'll see chuckles and is happy with the dumb-struck look on the ponz' face

Over the Hill and Far Far Away

Nightmare: stops running and takes deep breath
Nightmare: peeps over shoulder to find no one following him Oh thank God.
Nightmare: turns back to find Cervantes staring at him and jumps Ah!! Pirate ghost, Pirate ghost!!
Cervantes: rolls eyes Shut up ye edjit. I'm ere ta help ye.
Nightmare: Oh are you really now?
Cervantes: Aye, I ear yer havin' some trouble with a certain yella haired fella
Nightmare: And where did ye – I mean you – hear that?
Cervantes: From me daughter of course, where else?
Nightmare: Whatever. How exactly do you plan to help?
Cervantes: Well, the guy wants te free ya from yer demon, aye?
Nightmare: Aye – I mean yes! to self damn pirates and their bloody addictive language
Cervantes: Then why don't ye pretend to be vanquished an' act like he's freed ye?
Nightmare: … I don't think your daughter's told you everything
Cervantes: Oh she 'as. Twas funny as hell I tell ya laughs
Nightmare: Argh, fine! We'll try your plan. But if this doesn't work I'll shove this sword right up your Irish fuckin' arse

Back at the Mansion

Raphael: Muahahahaha! My plan has been set into motion!
Ivy: Ahem, YOUR plan?
Raphael: Shut up

What will happen when Nightmare is brought face to face with the love crazed man?
Is he being lead into a trap?
Or is Raphael really just a deranged fool?

Raphael: Oi!
Me: Shut up! You're spoiling the dramatic mood!! … How ironic Oo
Raphael: glares

Find out next week on – Loves First Ponz!

Raphael: I should smite you for that title
Nightmare: Really? I think it's perfect
Ivy & Cervantes: Agreed!
Raphael: Oh just you wait…
Me: Guys… the episode is done. You can go fight elsewhere, or so help me I'll –

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep