BROKEN
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. I am in no way affiliated with Kazuki Takahashi or Lifehouse.
Summary: This takes place right after Yuugi was taken by the Orichalcos. Yami is on the verge of breaking down during a sleepless night. He steps outside Rebecca's trailer in hopes of getting some fresh air. But he found so much more instead. Who knew that his salvation was right beside him all along? The song for this fic is "Broken," by Lifehouse. Very good song, I recommend you listen to it while reading just so you know what kind of mood I was in.
Author's Notes: "Mou hitori no boku" means "other me." Likewise, "mou hitori no Yuugi" means "other Yuugi." "Aibou," I believe, means "partner."
Yuugi, I called over our mind-link. Yuugi? Answer me.
I was rewarded, instead, with silence. I hung my head down in shame and regret. I cannot believe I had let this happen… In my duel against Raphael, I gave in to my selfish desires for power and let the Orichalcos take over me. I became a different person. One that was harsher, colder, arrogant…
And my precious aibou took the fall. Instead of my soul being harvested, Yuugi pushed me out of the way at the last second, allowing the seal to take him.
My other half, gone to who knows where.
I felt the tears sting my eyes and I let them fall, grateful for the cover of darkness.
And so I sit in Rebecca's couch, unable to sleep. How could I, when I can see the accusatory glares of my friends with my waking eyes?
How could I sleep, when her sad, disappointed eyes would certainly haunt my dreams?
Her. Anzu. Yuugi's best friend for goodness knows how long. While everyone else scowled at me with angry stares, she had her head down, eyes avoiding mine, as if she were ashamed.
That, I realized upon further thought, burned the most.
The broken clock is a comfort.
It helps me sleep tonight.
I stepped outside the trailer, hoping the fresh night air will calm my nerves. I was not aware of what time it was, only that it was very late. Not that it mattered. What good would it do me to know how many hours had passed since Yuugi was taken from me?
That I let Yuugi be taken?
I walked across the sand dunes, down the road, my feet as aimless as my thoughts. I looked ahead and could barely make out another figure. I continued walking and, upon closer inspection, identified it as Anzu.
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time.
I considered walking back to the trailer but something pulled me towards her. Perhaps it was empathy for someone who wandered the night as I did, attempting to escape the confined quarters of the trailer. Perhaps it was a simple dire need for company. It was terribly lonely without Yuugi, even though he would also be sleeping. Perhaps it was because it was her and I felt that I needed to redeem myself, somehow, to her.
Perhaps, with her, I can manage to not dwell on what the following morning will hold.
Or, rather, to what it won't hold. For when the sun rises, my aibou won't be here to see it with me.
"Anzu…" I called out.
And I am here still waiting,
Though I still have my doubts.
I jogged over to where she was. "Anzu," I tried again. Yet, she wouldn't turn her head to greet me. I paused, uncertain. Was she still angry at me? I shook my head. Of course she would be. I had let her best friend down. I had let her down. I walked towards her, slowly, unsure of what to do.
"Anzu, I--"
My heart nearly stopped. It was too dark to tell from afar but, up close, I saw her shoulders shaking. She stood there, with her arms crossed, clutching her own shoulders, as she quietly sobbed. How long had she stayed there, crying, was beyond me, as I never heard her leave the trailer in the first place. But she stood there, brown hair blowing in the desert breeze, cheeks stained with wetness, eyes blood-red from crying.
She stood there, almost as broken as I was.
"Oh, Anzu," I breathed, as I pulled her into a tight embrace. I felt her shoulders stiffen but she did not resist. I stroked her hair and rubbed her back. I felt so helpless. How did I not see that my friends were suffering as well? Was I so selfish, so caught up in my own pain that I failed to notice how the other's were feeling?
"M-mou hitori no… Yuugi…" she sobbed into my shoulder. I held her tighter.
"Anzu…" I said, in a broken voice. "Anzu, I'm so sorry. I know it's not enough… I can't expect your forgiveness, not this time. I pushed him too far, I--"
SLAP!
I rubbed my cheek in shock. Anzu stood there, breathless, tears were still falling but her eyes were as fierce as Kaiba's Blue Eyes White Dragon.
I am damaged at best,
Like you've already figured out.
I deserved it, I know I did. But it wasn't the slap that stung. It was the way she looked me, so crestfallen and scared. Yet she still stood proud, undaunted. I admired her courage, her brashness. If the situation were different, I would've smiled in veneration.
God, she has never looked more beautiful.
"You! Don't ever touch me!" she spat. "I… you… You don't deserve to live!"
"Anzu…" I replied meekly. I didn't know what to say. She was right. I should've been the one taken, not Yuugi.
"No!" she screamed. "No… I… Oh, God, mou hitori no Yuugi…" All at once, her strength seemed to desert her and she fell to her knees, crying out my so-called name. I hurried to her and knelt beside her.
"Mou hitori no Yuugi, I'm sorry," she said, her voice as soft as the breeze. "I didn't mean it. I was angry but I shouldn't have taken it out on you."
I'm falling apart,
I'm barely breathing,
With a broken heart
That's still beating.
I looked at her, my mind was reeling. She was sorry?
"No, Anzu…" I replied. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I was the one who couldn't protect him. I was the one who gave in to my own pride… I was the one who was so foolish in thinking I could harness the Orichalcos…" My voice broke apart. I hung my head down, refusing to meet her careful gaze.
"Mou hitori no Yuugi," she said, placing her hand on my cheek. I closed my eyes and reveled in her warmth. I let my tears fall, not caring that it had to be Anzu to see me like this.
But, honestly, I didn't want anyone but Anzu to see me like this. I had always felt that I can be myself around her. She never did see me as a mere spirit but as an individual, like one of them. I felt that, just this once, I can let down my barriers and show that I felt just as scared, weak, and helpless as they did.
So I cried, my tears carrying away the heavy burden I had been bearing.
"Can I tell you something?" she asked, after a while. I looked at her and saw evidence that she had cried along with me. My heart warmed at this realization.
In the pain,
There is healing.
"You can tell me anything, Anzu," I replied, hoping that I sounded reassuring.
"Well," she fidgeted, wiping her cheeks, attempting to keep her hair away from her face. I didn't know what prompted me to do this but I found my hand stroking her cheek and tucking her hair behind her ear. I let my hand linger, marveling at the softness of her skin.
I blushed and quickly took my hand away.
"Please," I urged. "If something is bothering you, I want to know."
"I've always wished I can be as strong as you." Her cerulean eyes slowly met mine.
I shook my head in disagreement. "Anzu, you're much stronger than I am. You have no idea how much Yuugi looks up to you. How much I look up to you." It was true. She had often times expressed a strength that no one else had. Her heart was as pure as Yuugi's. "I have always looked to you for inspiration." She looked at me, as if determining the merit of my words. I gazed at her, letting her know that I meant every word.
Talking like this, I realized, made me a lot calmer.
No, talking to her made me feel more like myself. Looking at her, I felt comfort and warmth.
In your name,
I find meaning.
I made a decision, then. I decided that I was going to be strong. If not for me or even Yuugi, then I would be strong enough for Anzu.
"Thank you, Anzu," I suddenly said.
"For what?"
"For helping me find myself again."
"I don't understand--" I pressed my fingers onto her lips and smiled.
"Your words have always inspired me, Anzu," I continued. "When you said that wished you were as strong as me… It made me want to be as strong as you believe me to be. I do not deserve your confidence. But I will do my best to get Yuugi back."
So I'm holding on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on.
I'm barely holding on to you.
Suddenly, she embraced me tightly, her scent, like ripe apricots, filled my nostrils.
"Mou hitori no Yuugi," she breathed into my cheek, causing me to blush slightly, "I know you'll get him back. And I'll be right here beside you."
At those words, I held her tighter. She had always been my lifeline, rescuing me from the darkness every single time. The first time was at Duelist Kingdom, when she had stopped me from landing the finishing blow on Seto Kaiba, which would have caused him to fall millions of feet into the ocean. The second time was when I was feeling doubtful about finding my memories. She held my hand as we went into Domino Museum and spoke to Ishizu about my past.
And now she was saving me again from my own insecurities and doubts by simply continuing to believe in me, even when everyone else did not.
The broken locks were a warning.
You got inside my head.
I tried my best to be guarded.
I'm an open book instead.
We stayed in that sweet embrace for a while, with me stroking her hair, absent-mindedly. How did I let this girl get to me? How could a mere dreamer of a girl make me feel like I can have the world at my fingertips? I didn't want to let anyone get this close to me. I still don't. Danger always followed me; I did not want my friends to sacrifice as much as they did. It was bad enough Yuugi had to be involved but everyone else?
Indeed, I was successful in keeping our friends at bay. I came out only when needed, never lingering. But when Anzu had discovered that there was another presence at play…
All my walls fell apart.
She slowly made her way towards my heart with her blind faith and unbroken devotion.
And in my heart, she still dwells.
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes,
That are looking for purpose.
They're still looking for life.
All I have to do is close my eyes and I can see her. I see the determined look in her eye as she watches me duel. I see how her face just blossoms as she laughs at some joke Jounouchi has said. I can see the way her body moves, swiftly and fluidly, as she dances….
I pulled away from her and gazed into her piercing blue orbs. I saw her inquisition, her head tilting slightly. I saw in her eyes everything I wish I could have.
"Mou hitori no Yuugi?" she asked, concern filling her features. But I did not break our gaze. Delicately, I cupped her chin in my hands and pulled her face close to mine. With every millimeter lost between us, I knew, just knew, that she was the reason I needed to come outside this night. She was the strength I needed to go on. She, not Yuugi, was the light to pierce my darkness. Perhaps she always had been.
Who knew that the salvation I yearned for was right here all along?
I'm falling apart,
I'm barely breathing.
With a broken heart
That's still beating.
My lips gently touched hers and it took all I had to not take more than I should. But, goodness, her lips were soft. Her scent made me dizzy.
I was breaking. My heart ached so much for what this could have meant for us in another time, in another world, even.
I pulled away, slowly, regretfully.
My eyes refused to meet hers, even as I felt her eyes penetrate the depths of my soul.
In the pain (in the pain),
Is there healing?
In your name,
I find meaning.
"Why do you look away?" she asked, sadly. "Do you regret such a simple kiss?" I snapped my head around and grasped her shoulders.
"Anzu," I responded, desperately, "that kiss was in no means simple. What I feel for you is so… It's so much bigger than I am. I have never felt so strongly for someone as I do you. Not even for Yuugi." I stood up and held out my hand. "But I do not regret it."
Smiling, she took my hand and stood up. She kept a firm grip on my hand, however. "Good. I don't either."
I grinned at her. For the first time, I felt happy. It didn't feel wrong either. I knew Yuugi would not approve of me moping around and worrying our friends. I looked around. The skies were a beautiful mix of red, orange, and blue, signaling the beginning of the sunrise.
I surveyed Anzu, contemplated the feelings in my heart and determined that my sun had already risen when I came to her.
So I'm holding on, I'm still holdin' on.
I'm barely holding on to you.
I pulled her into another heartfelt embrace, by face buried in the crook of her neck. I sighed in content, as her arms wrapped themselves around my neck. I held onto her for all I was worth.
I'm hanging on another day,
Just to see what you will throw my way.
The sun rose slowly, chasing away the darkness and basking us in its soft light. I nudged Anzu. "Hey, look. Isn't it beautiful?"
She turned towards the sun, her face illuminated. She looked so serene, as if for one moment, the world was perfect.
"The day begins anew," she said. I knew what she had meant. I had to hang on, I couldn't give up just yet.
And I'm hanging on to the words you say.
You said that I will, will be okay.
I found my will to go on, my reason to continue steadily onward.
Once again, my lifeline had come in the nick of time to save me from drowning in my sea of self-pity.
"Mou hitori no Yuugi," she said, her voice caressing my heart and taming my wild mind, "everything's gonna be okay. Right?"
The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone.
Losing Yuugi nearly shattered my very being. I thought that, without him, I would be left all alone. Now, looking at the girl I had very strong feelings for, wrapped in my arms, I knew I would never be alone. No matter what, even if everyone else left now, she would remain here by my side.
Her expression told me this and everything else I needed to hear.
I may have lost my way now,
But I haven't forgotten my way home.
"Yes, Anzu," I replied, gently caressing her cheek. "We will be okay. We will bring Yuugi back and stop the madman responsible." With her by my side, I felt as though I can do anything. The gods have blessed me indeed, allowing this girl to remain with me.
I'm falling apart,
I'm barely breathing.
With a broken heart
That's still beating.
"Thank you, mou hitori no Yuugi," she said, wistfully, as she laid her head on my shoulders.
I looked towards the sunrise, a new resolve in place. "No, thank you, Anzu," I replied, laying a kiss on top of her head.
Yes, as long as she was there, then I would have hope.
In the pain (in the pain),
There is healing.
In your name (in your name),
I find meaning.
Anzu Mazaki. In her, I have found my path to redemption. In her eyes, I have become someone whom I can be proud of.
So I'm holding on, I'm still holdin' on.
Barely holding on to you (I'm still holdin' on),
Barely holding on to you.
I swear, I will find you, aibou, I thought through our mind-link. I felt Anzu squeeze my hand, as if replying to my thoughts. I gazed, lovingly into her eyes. They reflected kindness, courage, and forgiveness. I kiss her again, pouring all my emotions into it.
"Come," I grinned, "we have a lot of work to do. We're going to get him back. I promise you this."
I took her hand and we began the trek back to the trailer.
Thanks guys, for reading and reviewing. This fic, I feel is one of my better ones. Phew... quite long, right? Haha. In any case, this is dedicated to all of you. Hopefully, I'll get out of this writing funk I seem to be in! Later, all.