WARNING: KARKAT'S LANGUAGE IS ATROCIOUS!

Note: I changed this chapter, mainly taking out the ending and changing the title. I think I like this shortened version better. :P

The Human Emotion Called 'Love'

There was absolutely no fucking way that this fucking trip could get any fucking worse. All around him, Karkat could only see his fellow fucking travel companions unable to keep their fucking hands off of each other. It really was fucking pathetic. Even Gamzee had those fucking bodies, although that was just fucking creepy and he decided to just not think about it. And now he and Terezi were kismeses, too.

Added on top of it all there was pretty much nothing to do. How many days had he spent locked up in his chosen respite block wiling away the hours watching shitty romcoms, both human and troll creations alike? How many hours could he possibly spend lazing around Can Town or helping with its pointless and never ending expansion? How many times had he read and re-read those fucking romance books? Surely enough that he could recite them word for fucking word.

Oh god he was so bored. He'd really just started lazing on his bed staring up at the ceiling for hours on end because apparently that was all there was to do around here. Sometimes he even wished that a dream bubble would come along so he could distract himself by getting pissing mad at his stupid fucking ancestors.

Hell, he'd even read that big ass book Rose and Kanaya were tag teaming on. A bit heavy handed, but it provided a suitable distraction. Except when he came to parts where Rose was obviously writing drunk, at which point he closed the tome and simply walked away. It made him miss GrubTube, another mindless form of entertainment from his days on Alternia.

He found the irony of everyone on the ship having someone to smooch puke worthy, yet hilarious at the time. He was supposed to be the romance expert and had given advice on countless occasions, advice that apparently worked because they kept on crawling back to him, and yet when he actually got down to it he floundered like a fish on land.

He'd moped for a while after his major fuck up with Terezi, but forced himself to get over it. He knew that he'd eternally lost his chance with her, and he wasn't going to try and redeem himself or anything. However, he knew that one day he was going to have to confront her about her relationship with Gamzee, because it definitely wasn't a healthy one.

All this thinking about troll/human relationships, though, had him thinking about a certain girl who also happened to be part dog, now. Jade had floated through his thoughts on occasion. He'd even used one of her passwords as a password to the vault he kept his memories hidden in when he visited dream bubbles. And now, with weary acceptance, he knew that, although clearly showing his opposition to cross species pairings, he had been waxing red feelings for her and, admittedly, still was.

"Jegus," he muttered, rolling onto his back to stare up at the ceiling of the lab.

He was in his respite block at the moment, the one thing that reminded him of Alternia. Although compared to his old room it was admittedly bare except for the few things he deemed sentimental. This also included a human bed that he was currently laying on. Recuperacoons were just too...bulky. And apparently took a helluva lot of grist to make? He would never understand the whims of paradox space and its ridiculous achemelization prices.

When he sat up, though, he immediately saw that things were different. The wall with his door was gone, leading out into rolling green fields. He sat there, a little dumbfounded, until he realized that he must have fallen asleep. Instead of being thrown right into a memory, though, he had simply woken up in his room. Or dream room. Whatever you wanted to call it.

All he really wanted to do was just stay in the bed and ignore the memory that so audaciously invaded his own. Yet, there was something familiar about the fields, dotted with the occasional flowers here and there. He got up and left behind his respite block in favour of exploring this memory. When he stepped into the open, though, the familiarity grew stronger.

The frog ruins in the island's bay were the big tip off, though. Not to mention the volcano and the tall white tower that had once housed the human that he had just been thinking about. The will of the Furthest Ring seemed to be just as whimsical as that of paradox space in general. He shook his head, deciding that it was better if he didn't think about it. Why was he getting excited, anyways? It was probably just some alternate timeline Jade.

"Karkat? Is that you?" a voice said from behind.

He turned to see, BIG FUCKING SURPRISE, none other than Jade Harley. Less of a surprise? This wasn't just a dead alternate timeline version of her, either. No, this was the honest to god alive as all fucking hell Jade Harley, all dressed up in her black god jammies and sporting a pair of fluffy ears. No blank eyes, just the pretty emerald green that had so caught his own gaze.

"Harley?" he said, still dumbstruck. She, seeing his own gaze, grinned.

"It is you! For a while, I thought I wouldn't see anyone in the dream bubbles!" she said excitedly as she bounced over to him. "In fact, John, Dave, and I barely get to visit the bubbles at all!"

"What? Dave?" he said in genuine confusion.

"Sorry, uh, Davesprite," she corrected herself. She seemed a little melancholy when she said that.

"Oh, okay." Dammit, competition. Wait, why'd he just think that? "Is your trip as boring as ours?" Quickly redirecting because he didn't like where that thought train may be headed.

"At times," she admitted with a chuckle. "The only people I really have to talk to are John and Davesprite, the rest of them are those crocodiles and salamanders. Don't get me wrong, they're really cute! But the crocodiles really like taking my stuff and the salamanders' spit bubbles tend to make messes. I guess it doesn't really help that Davesprite and I aren't talking much, either..."

"What? Why?" It explained the sadness when she mentioned him. Helpful Karkat mode activated.

"Well, um... You see, we were dating for a while," she said. "But he kind of broke up with me. It's a little awkward, but I suppose he had his reasons."

"Douche," Karkat muttered beneath his breath.

"Karkat!" she exclaimed. "He is not! He told me that's he's going through some stuff right now!" He shrugged. "Anyways, that happened months ago. I'm not even really that sad about it. I'm more sad that it's just not the same between us. Not even what it was before we started dating, and I kind of miss it.

"It's funny," she said, actually starting to laugh. "John had the same reaction about it! Except he pulled a full blown tantrum and fell asleep in his driveway, which was really weird! To be fair, I think he's going a bit stir crazy on the boat, so I don't blame him. I think all of us are feeling that way, including you guys."

"Ugh, you can say that again," he growled. "I think I've watched all the movies we have on that damn meteor three times each..."

"Hey, if you need more movies, I have codes!" she offered excitedly. "I wrote them down so we could alchemize some to keep the salamanders busy, they really like John's favourites! I could give them to you!"

"I don't need your shitty human movies," he snapped. She'd already pulled out a marker, however, and grabbed his left arm. "H-Hey, what the fuck are you doing?!"

"Calm down," she chimed, tugging at his sleeve. "I'm going to write them on your arm. Hopefully they'll follow you when you wake up."

"No, wait-"

He tried to stop her, but she already tugged away the cuff of his shirt. Her breath caught in her throat and he wrenched his arm away, quickly covering up several cut scars he'd given himself. He looked away, gritting his teeth in a mixture of embarrassment and shame. There was a reason he only wore long sleeved shirts and sweaters.

"Karkat... I'm so sorry..." Jade whispered. "I didn't realize, I should have asked..."

"No, it's fine..." he said. His attempt at gruffness failed. "Just old shit, I guess." He shrugged, trying to pretend it didn't matter when it really did.

"They did look old," she agreed. "Are they...what I think they are?"

"What? Do humans have this too, then?" he said, looking at her in surprise. She nodded.

"I remember John actually telling me about one of his friends from school that did that. Apparently they were going through some tough things at the time. Is it...the same for you?" she asked.

Oh god, he hated this. He wasn't one to open up to someone and really all he wanted to do was shrink away from her friendly openness and change the subject. Not even Terezi, the one person he considered to be his closest friend, knew about these scars. How he'd been such a wreck all those sweeps ago that he'd actually stooped to this level.

He liked to forget the many times he'd watched the cherry redness coating his arm. At the time, it had almost been...soothing, in a way. The pain of the cuts a welcome distraction that he would later regret. Addiction was a powerful, and dangerous, thing. An addiction like this could have cost him everything, had he gone deep enough...

He looked down at his feet, unable to really look at her. She had just seen a moment of weakness, a time when he had been on the verge of giving up. Her eyes bored into him. Yet, through peripheral, all he saw was sympathy in their green depths. No, not quite that, this was not so...insulting. An attempt to understand, rather. To emphasize, though he knew that she had never gone through such things.

"Yeah, I guess," he mumbled. "It was pretty rough when I realized that I was different from everyone else. That I was...unwanted. It was terrifying that if anyone found out I'd be culled. Ugh, look, Jade, it happened a long time ago. It's old news, okay? Here, just... Use this arm," he said, offering up his right for her to write on. Fortunately, she said no more on the matter.

"Meeting you here is pretty great birthday present, actually," she commented as she finished writing the codes down.

Birthday? Oh, that's right, humans actually celebrated that. Shit, he should have gotten her a gift... Yeah, okay, that was just stupid, obviously he couldn't plan for that shit and he couldn't bring stuff into the dream bubbles anyways. So he muttered a quick 'celebratory' happy birthday wishing, to which she gave him a pleasant thanks. He would expect nothing less of her, really.

"You're the first living person I've seen from the meteor! How is everyone, anyways?"

"Good. Except for sloppy troll/human make outs galore," he hissed. "Fucking Dave and Rose can't keep their hands off of us."

"Really? Do you have an eye on anyone?" she asked curiously.

"Fuck no," he snapped, maybe a little too quickly. "I don't give two fucks about anyone on that fucking meteor. Even Gamzee up and fucking let our moirallegiance fall apart."

"Oh, that sucks," she murmured. "So no crushes in any, erm, quadrant?"

"No," he said. "They're all too busy with each other, anyways."

"Sounds lonely."

"...Yeah..."

Now that he thought about it, he really did feel like the 'fifth wheel', as the humans put it. He supposed that Meenah had been pretty good company for a while. He could tell that she was probably waxing red feelings for him, but he really couldn't bring himself to reciprocate. Sure, she was cool and all, but... To be honest, he really didn't know what was wrong with him, ignoring what could have been a possible matesprit. Maybe it was because she was older. Or maybe that she was dead.

"Can I show you something?" she asked suddenly.

"Um..." he hesitated a second, then nodded. Smiling, she gently took his hand and led the way. It was soft, cool to the touch. He was a bit too preoccupied by the sensation to realize that the landscape was changing drastically.

Next thing he knew, they were floating above Prospit, a city he had only seen once. Jade was now dressed in her golden gown, and he had his own golden pyjamas on, too.

"You were a Prospit dreamer?" she asked.

"Yeah. I woke up just before Jack came and fucking destroyed it," he said bitterly.

She looked genuinely saddened by this, and he wished he hadn't told her just so the smile would return. Fortunately, she wasn't frowning for long.

"Well, now you can see it... With me!" she said enthusiastically. "I can show you all my favourite places and everything!"

And so she took him on a tour of the golden city, now populated by the ghosts of Jade's memories and, occasionally, the death and destruction he had seen in his own brief visit. He tried not to let them taint the purity that Jade so kindly presented him, but he couldn't help it. The terror, the chaos, Jack flashed before his eyes with every step. He forced himself to forget it, though, and as the tour went on his memories affected the dream bubble less and less.

He was disappointed when he needed to leave.

"Jade, you won't tell anyone about..." Glancing down at his arms.

"Of course not!" she said. "I won't tell a soul!" He actually, actually, forced a smile for her, tiny though it was.

"Thanks. I think I'm about to wake up, so... See you soon. Hopefully before we meet up in the new session?" he ventured. She grinned at him.

"That would be fun! I'd love to show you around more! That is, if I wasn't boring you too much, Karkat!" she laughed.

"No, you weren't. I never got to see it myself. It's pretty cool," he said, trying to be nonchalant about it. Throwing in a shrug for good measure.

"Okay, I'll look forward to it!" she said happily. "Have fun with your movies."

"Yeah."

She hesitated a second before giving him a quick peck on the cheek. He looked at her in shock, but before he could say anything he woke up. He sat up and looked around, but it was obvious that he was no longer dreaming.

Oh god, did she just...?

His hand raised to brush the cheek she had kissed, which had gone red. His heart jumped in his chest. Now he really hoped to see her in the dream bubbles soon. Fat chance that would happen, though. Hell, with his luck, she'd probably be fucking evil the next time he saw her. Ha, that would be kind of funny, he actually kind of laughed at that out loud. That was stupid, though. Jade would never go evil.

I'm sure that all my normal readers are genuinely surprised, and perhaps even a little concerned, by this odd, unheard of non-Bleach fanfiction. Don't worry, I'll still be plowing right on ahead with Past Melodies. However, dabbling in other fandoms has proved an interesting experience. You can definitely expect to see more of it later on! *insert heart here!*