Nearly
By Leah Day
Summary
Based on Marian's thoughts and feelings after she and Guy kiss in ep 13 of series one.
Disclaimer
Don't own a bloomin thing! Rats! Bugger! Bloody Hell!
Rated PG 15 for angst and minor sexual thoughts.
Locksley Manor
The kiss was not what she had expected from Guy. She had always thought he would just shove his tongue down her throat.
But he hadn't. Instead, he was gentle with her. Lightly pressing his lips to hers. Yet before his tongue could touch her lips or slip into her mouth, the girl gave a frightened whimper and quickly pulled away from him.
"I can't! I can't!" Marian thought despairingly. "I am falling for a man who tried to gut me not so long ago. A man who tried to kill the king!"
"I have to go," she had told her betrothed with haste. "Father is waiting in the carriage."
"Stay," Guy told her, reaching out and grasping her arm.
Marian stared at the hand wrapt around her arm then back at him.
How she hated it when he did that to her. She was not a possession.
"I cannot," she replied almost coldly. "Let go."
"Not until you tell me you believe me," he replied smoothly, refusing to release her.
She licked her lips, feeling anxious.
"I believe you," she told him, trying to keep her tone soft and believable.
"No you don't," a voice taunted her.
Marian ignored it.
Slowly, he relinquished his hold of her arm.
"I have to go," she told him again and left, not once looking over her shoulder, for if she did turn around, she would never leave.
On the road back to Knighton Hall
Marian sat in the carriage as it jiggled and rattled its way back to her home, staring at her hands, unable to face her father for fear of him seeing the conflict in her eyes.
She had allowed Guy to kiss her. She had lowered her defences for one brief moment and kissed him back.
In truth, she had done nothing wrong in kissing Gisborne. They were betrothed after all.
And come Saturday, united in Holy Matrimony.
But she felt so frightened, so uncertain because … because she had enjoyed it. For one small moment, she had happily allowed him to take over. To have control. Something she had never given any man. Not her father, not Vasey, not even Robin.
'Would it really be so horrible?" she asked herself in her mind. 'To lose control? To be swept up in passion?'
She twisted the silver ring on her finger around and around.
'Come Saturday night … I might have an answer."
"Marian, are you unwell?"
The girl put an end to her fiddling and smiled at her father.
"I am fine," she lied to him. "Just fine."
The end