A/N

These are 3 different situations the first one, is around 4.09, the 2nd is the 4.14 (the finale of S4), and the 3rd[the tears jfc] is 5.01-03. so you know the timeline- if you think its going too fast remember the difference between 4.14 to 5.01 is six months so half a year we don't get to see in here, they have known each other for a while now. so we're clear (: x love you all.

Disclaimer: I do not own SOA. this is purely fictional.

You know that place between dreaming and being awake? That place, where you can feel the softness of the imagination surround your body, but that presence of the known, reality, starts weighting in-you want to stay on that bubble just for one minute longer but you can't?

Someone said that if you want to burst that bubble as soon as you wake up, simply because you have something better to look at…you're pretty lucky.

Well, Catherine never thought she would have a reason to do it. Her reality, the life that she had right now was not ideal; working for/with Pope as long as she has doesn't really satisfy a person. Catherine never felt like she was doing something worth doing.

Now, she felt like she could let go in a way she hasn't before. She sat up and turned around facing the most relaxing view she had seen in a while. Jax was asleep next to her in bliss.

He was always stressed out, understandably or thinking about something, his head miles away seeing him calm and almost at peace was a good change. Catherine smiled to herself, the tip of her fingers touched his cheek greeting him.

Getting out of bed she shivered looking down at her own body realizing the only piece of clothing she had was her lace knickers considering what they were doing the night before she was surprised that she found the energy to put them on after.

The first thing she did was stealing a cigarette from the boy that was currently sleeping in her bed from his cut, lighting it up she went to her suite and washed her face, after passing a towel through it and trying to contain the mess that her slightly curly hair was she sighed looking at her reflection.

She had the cigar between her lips, her face always showed some signs of tiredness her green eyes didn't looked as faded as usual, her nipples were hard from the cold air which reminded her she had some clothes to find.

Somehow he always found her like this, every morning she took a cigarette from him, went to the bathroom and then spent at least three minutes finding something to wear even if they weren't to leave the house. He didn't mind, no, in fact sometimes he pretended to be asleep just so he could enjoy the predictable routine of hers.

Jax loved to spent the night at her house, he loved the smell of sex on her skin and the sheets, the taste of nicotine and vodka on her lips. He knew he couldn't say most of these things although when he was drunk next to her he would let some of it slid. The thing was, he trusted her.

He tried not to, when he first met her he knew that she was inside of some cartel or 'gang' the way she talked it was exactly like the way he behaved when he had to distract cops or curious people. The way she carried herself told him if he wanted something out of her he would have to be straight forward with her.

That turned him on a little if he had to admit.

So that's what they did, they fucked. Both Jax and her were on the same page and thought it was going to be one time thing. Boy, they were wrong. Exchanged numbers, addresses, and next thing they knew they were spending more time together than both of them wanted to admit. Hell she even met Abel, that's how serious Jax had her on his mind.

"Hm" Jax moaned. "If you wanted to tease me all you had to go was get in bed darlin' " Jax began to say sitting up, his voice rough from sleeping.

Catherine scoffed "I can't find my red shirt the one I like to wear because it doesn't catch as much cat hair as the other ones" She kept ruffling around the room, she grabbed his jacket to looked underneath it "You can wear that, just for now c'mon" He replied tiredly patting the spot next to him that was getting colder by the second.

Catherine put his SAMCRO jacket on; it was too big on her and it reached the middle of her thighs, walking towards the bed she took a long drag out of the cigar and patted it in the ashtray near the bed, since the covers were on his hip bones by now Catherine got in bed strangling his waist giving him the cigarette to finish it.

She would never confess how comfortable she really was in his clothes. "Do you think I could be in your club? I mean the jacket fits and everything" she joked, trying to start the conversation lightly waving her arms for effect. He smiled blowing the smoke and putting it out in the ashtray. "I think you're too smart for that" He leaned in towards her. "And you know that" She pecked his lips. "Lifelong dream ruined -" her hands ran through his hair, "just now" the right side of his mouth lift up making him looked smug, every time she thought the tension was gone he would do something insignificant and they were right back where they started.

His hands pressed against her back underneath the one piece of clothing she was wearing, pushing against his chest, their skin collided making her shiver from the difference of body temperature. Their lips met the other halfway; her legs squeezed his body making her feel lightheaded.

The kiss became more intense as Jax turned them over making him on top of her, the room felt silent except for the sound of their bodies pushing against the opposite one and the occasional moan from one of them. Jax began to kiss her neck, firmly leaving slightly open mouthed kisses. "No more hickeys there" she reminded him amused, then she felt him pressing down and opening more, his mouth challenging her. Hitting him half heartily on his shoulder she added "I mean it-I'm not fifteen anymore. Besides, I don't think I can make up more excuses for my lateness and that"

"Hmm-hmm" He shouldn't be that good, she thought. His lips running down towards her chest, "I take it here is good then?" He chuckled against her body, rolling her eyes playfully, fingers making their way into his hair playing with it. "Fuck off" she murmured.

He laughed. Again, it shouldn't feel that good.

He stopped, after kissing her now red marked skin multiple times "I'm going to arrange a gun meeting with the Niners." She glanced at him, the statement caught up her attention. "Why?"

Jax let out a small breath, laying down next to her. "We need to know if they're making another deal." She didn't say much, she couldn't. "All I know is that there's been some kind of a dispute between them and the Mayans, not our-their fault." Jax stared at her for a moment trying to figure it out what she was feeling. She beat him to the punch.

"You know damn well I can't tell you everything." He thought she looked more conflicted about it than she should have been, so, he gave her an honest smile.

"I know. That's why I don't ask." She pecked his lips as a reflex. "Thank you "she whispered.

"Don't pout." She declared getting out of the bed zipping her jacket "You know you love me" she continued in a singsong voice leaving the bedroom.

"I do." She faintly heard him say behind her.

Ah, fuck.

[A few weeks later]

The rain kept on coming. Catherine was sitting in the living room of her apartment, papers surrounded the floor and the glass table in front of her, she had a cigarette on one hand and a glass filled with vodka and ice on the other. She couldn't feel the burn of either no more. Worry filled her insides as she thought about the boy that shouldn't be on her mind, not that matter anymore, she was too far gone.

The sky seemed to be clearing; Catherine kept on stealing glances at her phone hoping the little object would ring she took one final drag and put down the cigarette. She looked at the clock on the wall. One thirty in the morning, it read. 'Maybe I should just go to bed' she thought. Swallowing the rest of the liquid, when she got up her phone started ringing; she thought her heart couldn't beat any faster when she answered.

"Yes?" she cleared her throat, the alcohol still going down her body.

"Catherine?" She heard the very familiar voice reply. "Can I come over?" His voice sounded rougher than usual.

"Jax." She sighed. "Yes - yeah. Are you okay?" Jax found the urgency on her voice quickly, he almost smiled hearing it. "I'm fine. I'll talk to you when I get there. Give me fifteen minutes babe." Her heart jumped. The thoughts about everything that could've happen with Clay and Opie blurred and made a storm inside her head. She didn't wanted to think about it anymore, so she could only imagine how Jax must been feeling all these past few weeks. "Hmm, you can put your bike in the garage you know the code" she added quickly before Jax had the chance to hang up.

Catherine started clearing up some of the papers that were on the floor and organized them (the best that she could being tipsy and the fact it was one thirty in the morning didn't help) on the table in front of her. She took off her jeans, and went to her bedroom to put on her pajamas pants, taking off her blouse, she eyed the shirt that didn't belong to her yet she used every night to sleep. After she was all dressed and comfortable she took a deep breath mentally preparing her to whatever the hell he was going to say. She hoped it would be some justice especially because she didn't saw a lot of that on a daily basis.

The sound of the ring bell echoed through the house. Creepy, her cat looked up to the sound of it, from the bed.

The girl opened the door holding her breath; she stood back giving room for him to get into her house. He seemed, different to say the least his short hair was a bit wet you could clearly see that he was tired, regret filling his features. "You've been drinking" Jax said with his famous smirk, closing the door she chuckled. "I'm always drinking. You should know that by now." Catherine replied jokingly.

He grabbed her hand, pulling her into his chest; both of them looked at each other silently asking if the other one was alright after everything that had happened. His arms rested on the middle of her back, while hers were on his chest slowly moving towards his neck. Jax rested his forehead on hers.

"I love you" he barely whispered.

She swears she heard it wrong. If she wasn't so close to him she wouldn't never had catch it. Of all the things she had thought Jax Teller came by to announce that thought never even crossed her mind.

Catherine didn't even notice his patch had changed from VP to President.

[6 months later on]

Her friend died. Even though a while had passed it still hurt, she had yelled, cried, smashed a few plates even punched Jax, not that he could blame her, after all, one of his "brothers" had committed the crime, and so he had let her take it out all her frustrations on him.

The problem was, when she started to shut down, worked more became more cold hearted, and the beef between the Niners and the SONS hadn't calmed down, on the contrary that only made her drift apart even more. Him being the president of the club meant they had two options: work more to separate their day-a-day from their personal lives or they could let it all go. Pretend the past year or so hadn't happened at all.

Unfortunately she seemed more keen on the last one but Jax didn't let that happen. She also knew Piney's memorial would take place that day, she couldn't go obviously especially at such crucial time, she did got to meet him and they often made 'jokes' about how long Clay would last. He was a good man, she met Opie too, his son. But those memories seemed small at that moment.

While she was heading to Pope's office she heard someone commenting that several days ago the Niners ambushed the Sons and drove a truck off the road setting it on fire. She took a deep breath to not let any of her current thoughts out.

Catherine found herself in a car with Pope heading to an unknown location; she wasn't sure why she was in the car herself but knowing Pope it was to send a message.

"I know about you and Jackson." He stated, calmly. She continued to look out of the window holding her breath, "I figured." She replied.

Catherine had a somewhat close relationship with him, sometimes opening her mouth further than she was supposed to. The reason he didn't said much was perhaps now; she was the closest living memory he had to his daughter.

"And I know that if I was doing something I shouldn't be doing like talking too much you would've done something earlier." She added quickly.

Pope smiled briefly. "Yes, you're right." He pondered. "Be careful. He could ruin you."

The girl stared directly at the man in front of her. "Or maybe it's me that ruins him"

Catherine was still with Pope when August gathered with Jax and the rest of the Sons, he informed her what was going to happen, and claimed with a note of sarcasm not to worry. She didn't need the 'pep talk' she already knew what was going to happen more blood would be spilled.

Throughout the day she got at least 6 missed calls, from two of her friends and 4 from Jax. She couldn't talk to anyone; she had the awful feeling that something really bad was going to happen.

At the beginning of the night she got a call from August, telling her to meet him at the rail yard she tried to get the reason out of him but he wouldn't budge. The car drive all the way there she couldn't stop shaking, she knew it was bad but it wasn't exactly the first time she got to do 'ground work' at night as well.

She stopped the car, from there she could see August, Pope and someone handcuffed to a valve, she silently prayed it wasn't who she thought it was.

She got out of the car slowly, her heart started beating louder and louder from the adrenaline she heard screams from a man who now she could identify as Alex Trager better known as 'Tig' exactly who she thought it previously was. She was about to watch him get killed.

She could hear them talking now, August looked back and noticed her, he then made his way towards her. When he got to her, he placed a hand on her shoulder indicating her to not take one step further.

"What's going on?" Her voice getting louder, "Tell me." Catherine felt her pulse going off the rails hearing Tig begging for his death, she now realized, it was so obvious now Tig wasn't the target.

From that moment on, everything was a blur. Pope got into the car, Augusts voice being firm and calm he instructed "When it's over, if he's man enough to kill the rest take him home" He then gave her a key and walked off to the same car Pope was, only to drive away.

For a second she felt like she couldn't breathe, her feet were stuck on the ground, but a girl's screams along with Tig's brought her back to reality. She then ran towards the man screaming hoping this was all a nightmare, that she really didn't have to do this that she really didn't have to see a young and innocent girl being burn alive only to stand there hopeless not being to help to do something along with her father.

She didn't even noticed she was crying next to Tig, she tried to think of something she tried to put it out but nothing could be done. She then proceeds to free Tig and stood back in shock as he killed the officer and shot the other man.

Then it all fell silent. The girl was no longer screaming. Catherine choked back tears and she witnessed Tig scream for his baby. This was a night that she knew it would haunt her forever especially because Pope made sure she suffered too, and for that she never forgave him.

Neither one of them moved, there was nothing to be said, nothing that could make him feel better. So, she just sat next to him waiting, her eyes felt heavy her head hurt, she found herself holding his hand just to say he was not alone at least not at that moment.

She heard noise behind them, the sound of a car stopping and footsteps getting closer.

She heard different voices and one of them she could recognize in a heartbeat. Her heart became alive once again, as she looked up her brain registered two men stood, both familiar. She thought it was Bobby and Chibs by Jax's description.

"Jesus."

"Tig I'm so sorry."

She then saw the face she tried so hard to avoid this past few weeks and she never felt more relieved. She looked at Tig when he started explaining who those corpses were (the cop, and the cleaner).

"He threaten to do the same to Fawn. I got to find her" He explained, breathless. Jax whispered something to Chibs and the man went to the truck they had arrived in.

Jax then helps get her up, the rest of the boys immediately recognizing the girl and seemed both confused and conflicted.

Jax gently pushed her aside, his hands going up and down on her arms, "Hey... talk to me. What happened?" his voice sounded restricted, when he realized she was starting to panic Jax hugged her pressing her body into his, her face buried on his chest.

She kept mumbling 'I didn't know, I swear I didn't know' Jax had to press his lips to hers to distract her "I believe you. I trust you. Just focus on me, okay? Focus on me" he smiled briefly.

"Go to your car, I'll be there in a minute. We will figure this out."

"Have you taken care of everything?" Catherine asked with her head on his chest tracing his scars from when he last locked up. "Yeah" he whispered.

"Really don't want you to go" she murmured against his skin, feeling his hands around her body memorizing every inch of her. "I don't want to leave you both, but I have to"

He entwined their hands. "I'm sorry you got caught up in this bullshit"

She responded with a sad smile "I was already in it"

They were surprisingly calm the only source of light was the moon shining through the curtains, she placed a small kiss on his chest besides his 'Abel' tattoo kissing his jaw next she felt him sigh, wishing that the night wouldn't have to end, so they wouldn't have to face the next day.

Jax was almost content. He had his girl on his arms, and his son was sleeping peacefully in the other room. Feeling her lips on his, he responded in a heartbeat placing his hands on each side of her face trying to stay in the present with her. Their kiss was light like a slow burn, trying to pass every emotions and thoughts through it, trying to say it was all going to be okay. Eventually.

They stayed like that for a while, every kiss seemed to last longer than the last one, she pulled apart her fingers laying on his waist. "You're going to be alright?" he asked her, the worrying thought that lingered on his mind for her safety seemed to become heavier, he now knowing the relationship between her and Pope being shaken up, wasn't helping.

"I'll be fine. I know he doesn't want you dead for now, I'm more worried about what he could do to hurt you instead" he smiled; his eyes brighten up like he knew something she didn't.

"That's exactly why I'm asking-" his hand cupped her cheek, "hurting you would hurt me" She furrowed her eyebrows not wanting to understand the depth of his words.

"I'll be fine. I know what to do in situations like these i just don't like doing it"

"No one does, babe" he leaned in smiling slightly. "I love watching you kick ass though."

She smirked biting his lip teasingly pulling back only to place her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her. "We should fuck" she blurted out. He laughed not expecting her to say that. "You know it's like tradition Un besito antes, y otro después kind of thing-" he arched his eyebrows.

"I don't know what that means "he interrupted her." it means -" she raised her body to sit up. "-that it's for good luck. When a person does something more than once. In this case go to prison. We did that last time remember but I think we only did the after part"

He watched her rambling amused. Not that he needed reasons to be with her but it was fun to watch her do her bidding. "Anyways why am I even trying to convince you?" He shook his head grinning.

"I don't know. You got me on we should fuck" She let out a laugh, straddling his waist pulling the covers above their bodies except their heads. "You're an idiot." She said against his lips smiling.

He nodded playfully kissing her lips quickly pulling her top off, the only thing he had on was his boxers but Catherine soon took care of that making him groan. Kissing his neck she grind on him which result of Jax throwing his head back his hands were on her waist pressing her against him. "Fuck" he breathed. He then inverted their positions, smashing their lips together as he took her underwear off, when they couldn't take it anymore he let his lips wander through her chest, he kissed her left breast while his fingers started to rub her clit making her stomach flip and her body shiver. She moaned quietly longing for his lips on hers. He kissed her as he entered her, swallowing both of their moans.

After they were both satisfied and as she was falling asleep she heard him say against her hair. "No matter what happens in the next few days, I want you to know that I trust you." he stopped talking, thinking that she was completely asleep by now. "And love you" he added murmuring.

She just hoped what August said to her wasn't true. That one of them was leaving in a bag.

"You know my son never mention you before." Gemma remarked defensively as they both saw the van drive away with the boys from the clubhouse.

Catherine sighed in frustration. "That's because he couldn't."

The rest of the guys walked inside secretly to give them privacy. "What do you mean?-Are you guys together or some crap? I saw the way you guys looked at each other. Do you know something we don't?"

When Gemma realized the girl wouldn't budge, she settles for one question. "What are you doing here then?"

"Making sure things are going according to plan" She replied sternly before turning around "Goodbye Gemma"

"Yeah -bye" Catherine got in her black range rover and after a few seconds Gemma watched her leave driving away. So far, Gemma didn't liked her. Or trusted her.

Jax entered a guard's office not knowing exactly what to expect. Pope was sitting on the couch.

"Relax" Pope said. "I'm here to talk" he assured.

"Is that what you said to Tig's girl before you set her on fire" Jax asked, disgusted.

"Let's not discuss the tragedies of dead girls. That's a argument that you would lose. "

"Look, I've tried to reach out to you man. Somehow make this work. "He sighed. "What the hell do you want?"

Pope indicates that he knows the Galindo cartel is protecting them, the IRA the guns and the coke. He says it's too ambitious. He calmly states that their conversation is not a discussion what he says goes, and that 50% of the cartel payday is his.

He's trapping Jax. And Jax's knows it. "This is about you learning how to survive." He declared, his tone never changing.

Pope said he wants Tig to stay in prison for the rest of his life, and he would make sure he's dealt with. At the time he declares be needs a dead Son, for the Niner and the cop they killed, to 'maintain his relationships' Jax's brain felt like it was going a hundred miles per hour.

He proceeds explaining that he doesn't care who it is, and that the Commander will set it up, and if everything goes to plan the witnesses will go away.

"I'm not going to war." Jax pleaded.

"You're already in it, Son". Jax's mind flashed when Catherine replied the same thing.

Pope's expression seemed to have soften up as he opened his mouth to speak. " I know about your new friend as well. You've made a powerful allied, insanely young but one had to be extremely stupid to not taken her seriously. She's the reason a lot of you aren't dead. You should thank her. "

Catherine felt Pope's hand on her knee like that was supposed to comfort her. "If you feel too angry I can always tell you who's the Guard that your friend wants to kill right now"

" You're breaking him, Damon" She whispered looking at him directly, using his first name in hopes to manipulate him...and it worked, slightly.

"I'm turning him into a player. Making him stronger." He replied clenching his jaw.

"You're killing him."

The door opened and a random guard came in. "It's done."

"Who was it?" Catherine couldn't help but ask. The guard glanced at Pope silently asking permission. "Some guy with long hair, and beard. Gave a bit of a show as well"

Her heart stopped. Not Opie. Not him, everyone but him. She couldn't handle the thought of seeing Jax losing his best friend not this way. She would never forgive herself. "I take it you knew him?" he continued having the pleasure of smirking. Anger filled her veins, as she got up.

"Don't make too much of a mess here, Catherine" Pope warned her knowing how she got when she lost it.

The guard frowned in confusion. "Were you the one that got him?" she asked him with a cold voice.

"Yeah."

Catherine closed the door behind him and when he looked back, she smashed his head as hard as she could against it. He stumbled back disoriented grabbing his jaw; she punched him as if he was nothing. "I can't wait for Jax to kill you" she whispered only for his ears.

"Enough." Popes voice sounded above the guards groans. "Go get teller and if you value your life don't come back"

Catherine turned around, gulping, trying to not let the tears fall. "It was his best friend. His fucking best friend, they knew each other since they were kids. How the fuck am I supposed to bring him back from this, huh I can't!"

She sat down with her hands on her head blocking everything out. She didn't even realize the door had opened. When Jax first saw that she was in the room he almost hesitated but then Pope's voice brought him back.

"Sounds like things went according to plan," Pope said.

"There's a new plan, "Jax says making her looked up, clearly shaken up he continued. "I watched my best friend get beaten to death, for you" as he said this, Catherine never felt so...guilty so bad, so broken with empathy. She never loved him more.

He explained that he'll get the club to sign off on the cash but he needed Trager outside. Him knowing Jax saved his life gives him the advantage Jax will eventually need.

"And when I'm done, you can send him out the same way you did his kid, because I really don't give a shit," Jax spit out coldly. She knew he was numb she couldn't blame him for saying these things not at that moment she just hoped and prayed he wouldn't blame her.

Pope was impressed with Jax for finding the hidden advantage in an unfortunate circumstance as he called it. "Using pain to take you to the next level."

"Those are the things that turn players in to kings," Pope told him.

"Yeah I guess you would know"

"yes I would. I'll leave you two alone. Be smart, Mr. Teller. It's who you are" Pope finished the conversation.

He closed the door, leaving them alone. The tension was unbearable at least on her part. She got up hesitantly walked towards him. When he didn't moved back she took it as a good sign. When she was close enough her right hand cupped his cheek making him close his eyes and leaned into it. She tried her best not to cry as she saw a few tears leaving his eyes. His best friend was gone and there was nothing they could do to change that she just hoped he didn't lose himself too.

She leaned her forehead on his, his arms wrapped around her. "You're going to make this right." She promises him quietly.

"I'm going to kill him." She knew he was referring to Pope, when she replied she felt the weight of the words tumbling inside of her. "I know." She whispered against his lips, so no one would hear. She leaned back, staring right at his eyes. He kissed her forehead. "I know it doesn't count for shit, but I am truly sorry."

He gulped. "I know" he closed his eyes again for a moment still in shock. She pecked his lips saying goodbye. "Jax?"

He looked up at her. She took a deep breath, and the words came out easier than she ever thought possible.

"I love you too"

Closing the door, she left him alone.