Hello! Soooooo this is my first fanfic and would love reviews. I'd also like to apologize for the extremely common prompt written horribly... But I hope you enjoy it, regardless!
Okay, that's all. Hope you like it :) xoxoxxoxooxooxxxxx
The bell rang through the high school and I got up out of my chair, thankful that math had finally ended. So far, the day sucked. I overslept, forgot half of my books, and my girlfriend, Lisa, was pissed at me for some reason. She was always pissed about something. Sometimes, I thought that she somehow found out that I was gay, but usually it was just her being her bitchy self. I thought that day probably couldn't get any worse, until I turned out to be dead wrong as my football coach came walking up to me in a somewhat rage.
"Winchester!" She yelled. Yeah- she was a total bitch.
"Look, coach, I'm sorry I missed laps this morning but I overslept, had to take my kid brother to school, and forgot my books," I rambled, hopeful she was having an understanding day.
"Tough shit! Now you'll have to do double after school."
"Yes, ma'am." I walked away. At that point, I was just waiting for the day to be over. I passed all of my friends in the hallway, not wanting to talk. I was considered one of the most popular guys in school, but I really didn't care. I had one of the most beautiful girls in school as my girlfriend, but I knew that it wasn't right lying to her. I just wished that I could come out. I always felt like I was lying and it sucked hiding in the closet, but I felt like I didn't have a choice. If people knew, my life could go to shit.
After a long day of avoiding Lisa and my friends, I got to the track around the football field. Sometimes I didn't mind running, it gave me time to think, but that day I just wanted to go home. After getting changed, I went out and ran. I ran five laps before taking a quick break and drinking some water. As I was sitting on the bleachers, another guy that I didn't recognize went on to the track. I couldn't quite see his face, but I could clearly see the strong definition of his abs through his shirt, not to mention his arms. I decided to do some more laps and then go home. I went back on to the track and started running. When I started to catch up with the mystery guy, I picked up the pace, and when I ran up next to him I noticed I had never seen the guy around school.
"Hey! Are you new?" I said, regretting how abrupt I sounded.
"Um, yeah. Just moved here," the dark haired man said, seeming slightly startled by the interruption, "I'm Castiel."
"I'm Dean." I said, beginning to get a little out of breath, mainly because I was talking to a guy that I was incredibly attracted to.
"I didn't see you around school today," I continued, "What classes are you taking?" I wasn't really sure why I was trying so hard to start a conversation, but I guess I just wanted something to get my mind off of everything that was going on.
"You know, Dean, I would much rather be talking to you on more comfortable circumstances," Castiel said with a chuckle.
"Yeah, same. Wanna go get some coffee or something?" I asked, hoping it didn't sound too much like a date.
"Sure. That sounds much better than running around a football field," Castiel said. We both went in to the locker rooms to change. I took a shower before leaving, due to the fact I had been running a lot longer than Castiel. We left the school and started walking down to the coffee shop that was just one block from the track.
"So where did you move here from, Cas?" I asked, not realizing right away the nickname I had given Castiel.
"Iowa. My mom died so my dad insisted on 'starting a new life' or something like that."
"Oh. I'm sorry." I knew what it was like to lose a parent. When my mom died, my life flipped upside down and I never knew which way was right. I was young, but I can still remember the confusion and the intensity that my life had turned to.
"No, don't worry," Castiel spoke again, "I never really saw my mom anyway. She was always at work or on business trips. Sometimes I wonder if she ever knew she had kids." Cas chuckled under his breath, but I could see the hint of pain in his eyes.
"That sucks, man," I said, noticing Cas' blue eyes. I saw them before but right at that second I looked into them, and damn, they were really blue. It was almost as if they were trying to just suck me right in, which they actually were.
"So what's your story, Dean?" Cas started, "Do you run track or something?"
"No, I'm actually the quarter back, but believe it or not I am not one of those obnoxious douche bag jocks like in all those stupid movies," I said.
"Oh, that's reassuring," Cas laughed. I liked when Cas laughed, and how the corners of his eyes would crinkle. When we arrived at the coffee shop, we ordered our coffee and when we went to go sit down we passed a table that some of my friends were sitting at.
"Hey, Dean! What's up?" Benny yelled.
"Not much. This is Castiel," I said, not wanting to deal with them at the moment.
"Hey," Cas said, shyly.
"See you later, guys," I said after they acknowledged Cas, rather judgmentally, which made me feel bad. Cas and I walked over to a table on the other side of the cafe and sat down.
"Sorry, Cas. They can be dicks," I said.
"It's alright, Dean. I'm used to it."
"Well you shouldn't be." I was being honest, Cas was really cool.
"I know you probably don't want to hear this, Dean, but they keep looking over at us strangely. I believe they think we're on a date," Cas said, with a touch of guilt.
"Let them think whatever they want," I said with a wink. I didn't expect it. I didn't mean to flirt with Cas like that. I couldn't risk anything as little as a rumor get out that I was gay, but it just kind of happened. Cas smiled- to my relief- and we sat there talking for a few minutes until Uriel came over.
"Dude, what the hell?" He said when he got to the table, "What was with you at school today?"
"Nothing, man. Just tired I guess," I said. Out of all of my friends, Uriel was the worst. He was a total dick most of the time and I wasn't really sure why I ever hung out with him.
"Well you must have been pretty damn tired. You were totally ignoring everyone," Uriel said. He was really beginning to get on my nerves.
"Look, I'm sorry, but I'm kinda busy right now," I said, looking back at Cas.
"Doing what? Sipping lattes with this new kid, fag?" Uriel said, and before I knew it, my fist had collided with Uriel's face.
"Dean!" Cas yelled.
"C'mon, Cas. This place sucks," I said, and we both passed a shocked Uriel as we walked out. I could feel the dozens of eyes on me.
"Dean, you didn't have to do that," Cas said as they walked down the street.
"Yes, I absolutely had to do that. Uriel's a dick and he deserved worse."
"Hold on a sec," Cas said as he took my shoulder so we could be face to face, "You just met me like an hour and a half ago and you're punching people who call me stupid names. I've been called a whole lot worse than that and you just lost a friend, or more, over it."
"Look, Cas. It was no big deal. He was hardly my friend and I'm relieved to have him out of my life. Nobody deserves to be called that or anything worse." I really liked Cas. I liked him a little too much, but I felt okay with that. There was just something about him that made me feel like it was okay. We continued to walk back to the school in comfortable silence before Cas spoke up again,
"I think that your friends may believe we're- I don't know- something." I knew what Cas meant, and I would have been upset about it normally, but the thought of Cas and me being "something" made me feel warm for some reason. It gave me goosebumps, but in a good way. It felt okay, and I didn't expect it. I chuckled under my breath, realizing that my friends really must have thought Cas and me were dating. I would think the same thing if I were them.
"What makes you say that?" I said, teasingly. We both laughed and I kept asking myself if I thought I was ready to be with a guy like that, and every time I looked into those blue eyes, I thought more and more like I was.
When we got back to the school, we sat on the bleachers and talked for two hours before we parted ways. I couldn't stop thinking about Cas all night. I didn't deny that- regardless of the short time I had known him- being with Cas felt right. The thought of coming out scared me, but I felt like I could make it work with Cas. There was just something about him that I fell for. I had never felt like that about anyone and I didn't understand it, but in a way, I didn't care.
The next day, I woke up with Cas on my mind. For once in my life, I was looking forward to going to school. I was kind of dreading having to confront my friends after what happened the day before, but I didn't care. After I dropped Sam off, I got to school and immediately started looking for Cas. I was a little worried he wouldn't really want to see me after the incident at the cafe, but I was going to try and talk to him anyway. Then, a few of my friends that were at the cafe the day before spotted me and walked over.
"Dean! Dude, what the hell?" Jo asked, flailing her arms in frustration. I tried not to laugh at the motion, which made her even more irritated.
"What?" I answered, innocently.
"Well, to start with, you were totally avoiding us at school, and then you were out with some random dude and punched Uriel. Then, to end with, you just left the cafe without even saying anything. What's going on, brother?" Benny said.
"Okay. I was acting kind of weird... I get it. I was just tired and I was having a shitty day," I said, still casually looking around for Cas. Then Ash spoke up,
"So who was that guy, Castiel?"
"Oh- He's just- My, um... Friend," I said, not thinking about my answer. Then I spotted Cas across the hall at his locker.
"I gotta go," I said, and walked away quickly towards Cas. I could only imagine what my friends must had been thinking after that, but I figured I could come up with some stupid excuse later. Right then, I just wanted to talk to Cas.
"Hey, Cas," I said, smiling. Cas looked over at me and his face lit up when he saw me beside him. I was so relived he wasn't scared away by everything that had happened the day before.
"Hello, Dean." Cas' voice was like music to my ears. What the hell was the deal with this guy? I had never felt so weird about someone like that.
"How's it going?" I asked, not knowing exactly what I wanted to talk about. I just liked being around Cas. I just liked talking with him.
"I'm alright. After everything that happened yesterday, I didn't think you would want to see me again," Cas admitted, looking down at the floor and his black and worn Converse. I lifted Cas' chin without thinking,
"Of course I want to see you." Cas smiled, but I pulled away after realizing that we were in the middle of a hallway filled with my friends and other students that would probably cause a scene.
"Hey, um, I was thinking- do you wanna hangout at my place after school?" I asked.
"I'd love to," Cas answered, still smiling.
The day went by like a normal and uneventful day, except that Cas and I ate together at lunch instead of me eating with my other friends. I couldn't wait to hangout with Cas later and I was even more excited because my dad wouldn't be home. If dad ever little as suspected me doing anything more than platonic with another guy, he would kill me.
After my last class, I gathered my books and went out to Baby, my beloved 67 Chevy Impala. That car was one of the best things that ever happened to me. The roar of the engine was soothing and all of the scratches and dents had their own story back from when I was little and the car belonged to my dad. A minute later, I spotted Cas leaving the school. Just like earlier that day, he was wearing a blue t-shirt, that happened to match his eyes perfectly, black skinny jeans, and a tan trench coat.
"Hello, Dean," Cas said.
"Hey, Cas. Do you mind if we go pick up my little brother before we head over to my house?"
"No, I don't mind." We slid into the Impala and drove out of the school parking lot. We talked for a few minutes before arriving at Sam's school and he got into the back seat.
"Hey, Sammy. This is Cas," I said. Sam gave me a weird look but I ignored it.
"Nice to meet you, Cas," Sam said.
"You too, Sam," Cas said as I pulled out of the parking lot. When we got to my house, Sam went up to his room and Cas and I went into the kitchen.
"Hungry?" I asked.
"No, I'm okay. So where are your parents?"
"Dad's working and my mom died a while back."
"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't know."
"It's fine Cas, really. It was a long time ago." I got us both sodas and we went up to my room. We could hear Sam playing his music in his room and I chose to drown it out with ACDC.
"Nice," Cas said to himself, respecting my taste in music. I smiled to myself, liking Cas more and more. We stood standing, Cas admiring all of my posters on the walls.
"Are you a fan?" I asked, noticing Cas looking at my Metallica poster.
"Yeah, you could say that," he answered, smiling. I walked over to Cas and we were both admiring the poster- and standing unnecessarily close. I was getting more and more comfortable with the idea of dating Cas, assuming he was actually gay. I just had a feeling that Cas and I would be amazing.
"So did you talk to your friends today?" Cas asked.
"Yeah, but just for a minute. I didn't want to have to talk more about everything that happened at the cafe. It wasn't as big of a deal as everyone thinks."
"Well you, the straight and incredibly popular quarter back, was out with a mystery guy and then punched someone after they called me a fag. You can't really blame them for thinking it's a big deal."
"I just wish everyone would chill, but it doesn't matter right now. I'm just glad you're here," I said. I looked right at Cas and our eyes met. We were standing so close, far from a platonic distance, and I forgot about all the shit going on in my life and all I could think about right then, was Cas. I closed the gap between us and kissed Cas suddenly, but softly, before thinking twice about it. I didn't even realize what I was doing at first. Just the day before, I would have laughed my ass off at the thought of actually being with another guy like that. I had no idea what came over me and I was shocked at myself, but couldn't seem to stop. It was slow and gentle, but after a moment it got more heated and passionate. I took Cas' face in my hands as he moved closer and wrapped his arms around my waist. It felt amazing to have Cas that close to me, and I never wanted the moment to end. Then, we heard a small knock at the door. Both of us were too in the moment to realize someone was actually at the door, so then, entered Sam.
"Woah-" Sam said, eyes wide. Cas and I broke apart and Sam left the room quickly. Cas and I looked at each other for a second before I left to talk to Sam.
"Sam! Wait a second!" I called. I was pretty freaked out of what just happened. I had been so careful for so long about my sexuality, and then all of the sudden, bam. I walked into Sam's room and he was sitting on his bed about to open a book.
"Look, Sam. About that-"
"Dean. It's okay. I really don't care," Sam cut me off.
"What?"
"I said I don't care. Dude, I've suspected you for a while now and it's fine, but I wouldn't be too sure about dad feeling the same way."
"Um... Okay, awesome. Thanks, Sammy- Wait, um... Okay. Thanks, Sammy... What did you want?" I asked.
"Nothing. Just wanted to order pizza," Sam said and laughed.
"I'm on it." I finally sighed with relief after trying to process what the hell just happened, and left the room. I was a little shocked from how quickly my relationship with Cas had escalated, but I was thrilled that Sam was cool with it. Although I was really worried about hiding it from my dad, I wanted to make it work with Cas. I walked into my bedroom and he was sitting on my bed, looking stressed. I thought for a second I had made a horrible mistake.
"I'm sorry, Dean," Cas said. He sounded guilty and that just made me feel like crap.
"Dude, don't worry about it. It wasn't your fault that my brother came in. Plus, he said he was cool with the whole thing," I sat down next to Cas.
"I didn't mean to- I don't know, I just- I doubt you wanted your brother to find out like that," Cas looked down.
"It doesn't matter, Cas... Really. I wanna be with you and I don't care who knows it," I lifted his chin, once again, and kissed him. It was true. I was done dealing with being gay and nobody knowing. I really liked Cas and I couldn't stand to not be with him because of what people at school might say. After a few minutes, we broke apart and rested our foreheads against each others.
"Except for my dad," I whispered, and we both laughed. I ordered pizza shortly after and we spent the rest of the day eating, watching movies, and making out. We even played a board game with Sam at one point. It was an amazing day, and I couldn't wait for the days just like that in the future.
A few days later, I was so nervous before school that I was shaking. Cas and I had spent those few days together, hanging out after school and during lunch, and we were finally going to come out. I had to break up with Lisa, and I knew it would be a scene that everyone in school would be talking about. Lisa was a great girl and I didn't want to hurt her, but I really didn't have a choice. As soon as I walked through the doors to the school, my friends were on my heels and asking more questions. I had totally and completely been avoiding them, and I had so much on my mind right then, that I could barely comprehend what they were saying. I just kept walking through the halls trying to find Lisa, and eventually my friends had gotten frustrated again with my vague and one word answers and left me alone. I went to Lisa's locker and found her fixing her makeup in the small mirror she had hid inside her locker. I walked up to her, trying to calm my nerves before I said anything,
"Hey, Lisa, can I talk to you?" I had built up enough courage to say something.
"Dean, where the hell have you been?" She looked mad, and the only thing that kept me going was the thought of Cas.
"I know I've been acting weird lately and I'm sorry, but I really need to talk to you." I was trying not to make eye contact. I felt awful and confused about everything.
"What?" She looked uneasy, like she knew what was coming, but didn't believe it.
"We need to break up," I blurted out, more suddenly than I intended.
"What? Are you serious?" Lisa yelled, attracting the attention of many people in the hallway.
"I'm really sorry, Lisa. It's just not working for me. I don't want to hurt you, you have to understand." I sounded like I really meant it, and I did. I felt awful for dragging Lisa through all that shit, and she didn't deserve it, no matter how bitchy she got.
"Fine. Whatever." Lisa slammed her locker and stormed off, just before the bell rang for first period. I felt horrible. I tried not to think about it too much as I went to class. Instead, I thought about Cas, and that I would be able to see him at lunch, so I only had to last before then. We had talked about coming out together then, but we weren't sure yet.
My classes went on slower than ever before lunch, and when the time came, I was nervous all over again. I wanted to come out and be with Cas, but I was almost sure that it wouldn't go as smoothly as I hoped. I walked into the lunchroom and spotted Cas sitting at a lunch table. I relaxed just a little bit, and walked over to sit down next to him.
"Hey," I said, smiling at the sight of Cas and his crazy dark hair that I loved.
"You have no idea how glad I am to see you, Dean," Cas said, smiling just as wide, but also looking a bit shaky.
"So... Um, what's the plan- You know, for today?" I asked, getting more nervous.
"I don't know. What do you wanna do?"
"I want to be with you," I blushed a little bit as I realized how chick-flicky that sounded, but I didn't really care. My whole life had basically been a chick-flick since I met Cas, and that doesn't mean I liked that fact, but I liked Cas... A lot.
"Me too. More than anything." We were both smiling like idiots at that point and neither of us cared about the dozens of judgmental other students in the room. We both leaned in and pressed our lips together without thinking much about it. After a few moments, we pulled apart and immediately became aware of the silence that had fallen upon the whole lunchroom, not to mention the intense stares. I felt like something very bad could happen right then, especially considering that everyone had food on their plates and that it would be awfully easy to throw at us.
"I feel like we should run," Cas whispered.
"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing." We both got up and ran out of the lunchroom, hand in hand. When we finally reached the empty halls on the other side of the school, we were both laughing and out of breath.
"Well, I didn't expect it to go much better than that," I said, truthfully.
"That's because we ran away like cowards," Cas said, catching his breath, "What do you think they're gonna do? You know, when we actually have to see them, take classes with them, eat with them, do school projects with them?"
"I honestly have no friggin' clue. You know, Cas, I have been at this school for a couple years now and nobody has ever come out as gay. There's no telling what will happen."
"Well, I guess we'll find out." We stepped closer and wrapped our arms around each other.
"I'm glad I'm doing this with you, Cas," I said into his neck. Everything happened so fast. Just within a week, I came out to my brother, came out to my school, and got a boyfriend, all because of this one amazing and unbelievable guy in a trench coat. It was almost too fast, but there was something about Cas that just made everything feel so right.
When we decided to leave the school for the rest of the day, we walked out just before lunch ended. We got into the Impala and drove out of the quiet parking lot. I had started to get a little more skeptical of the idea that we could be 'out and proud', and I really didn't want Cas to get hurt by those assholes that may not approve.
"Do you think we did the right thing, Cas?" I had calmed down, but my nerves were still a little shaken up.
"I believe we did, Dean, but they might not agree. I think it needed to happen, though," Cas sounded truthful, and that comforted me. Not exactly the words he said but the way he said them. I pulled up at Cas' house and kissed him before he left the Impala. We were both nervous about the next day and how things were going to go, but we just had to wait.
The next morning, I picked Cas up before school. We didn't say much, but the silence was comfortable. We were trying to mentally prepare ourselves for what might happen at school, and it was just nice to be there with each other, not having to talk. When we pulled into the parking lot and I parked the Impala, we didn't get out of the car right away. We looked at each other and I took Cas' hand,
"You good?"
"Yeah, I'm good." We leaned in and kissed each other softly before leaving the car and walking to the school doors. Once we got there, I took Cas' hand again and could see Cas relax just a little at the touch. We walked in I and could instantly feel the stares on us and could hear the whispers, but I tried to just ignore them and kept walking to Cas' locker with him. He was squeezing my hand tight, in fear of what could happen. I felt like he had been through more than he led on before he came to this school. He seemed put together and happy enough, but sometimes I could see the hurt and regret in his eyes.
"Well, they haven't beat us up yet, so that's probably a good sign," Cas said as we got to his locker.
"Well, yeah, but it's been like three minutes out of six hours, Cas," I said.
"Hey. We'll be okay," Cas said, taking both of my hands, "It's not like there aren't teachers around here. We just shouldn't attract too much attention to ourselves."
"Yeah, okay." I knew Cas was right, but it didn't seem like he knew it. He looked okay overall, but I could see that he was more scared than he acted.
Later that day, I was walking to my locker before lunch. Cas was still in class but nothing had happened all day, apart from casual name calling in the halls, so I figured Cas would be alright if I went ahead to lunch. Then, Jo and Benny came up to me, looking pissed out of their minds. I had been avoiding them all day again, but I knew I'd have to face them eventually.
"Dean! Again, I'm gonna say, DUDE, what the hell?" Jo practically screamed.
"I'm sorry, okay? What did you want me to do, just keep on living my life as a lie, dating girls only to hurt them, and hiding from all of you?" I really didn't want to fight with my friends, but it was about time that I talked to them. They deserved it. Ash walked up to us, noticing the yelling.
"What? No, we're not mad that you're gay! We're mad because you didn't tell us," Benny said. I was not ready for that. All that time I had been afraid of my own friends for nothing?
"Are you serious?" I said, much more calmly and quietly.
"Why would we care?" Ash asked, "We're not the ones you should be lying to, Dean. We're your friends."
"Then why the hell were you guys dicks to Cas at the cafe?" I asked, confused, yet relieved at their reaction.
"How did you expect us to act?" Jo started, "You blew us off all day and then showed up later with some guy we had never seen." Everything seemed like things could get back to normal. My friends were okay with me being with a guy and that was what I was most worried about.
"Well, if you guys are really okay with it, then do you wanna come have lunch with Cas and me?" I asked. Maybe if they would show the school that they were okay with it, the rest of the school would warm up to the idea.
"Finally! Geez, it's been days since we ate together," Ash said. I laughed and we walked to the cafeteria. When we walked in, I saw Cas sitting alone at a table. I hadn't noticed he had left the classroom. We walked over and when Cas spotted us, he looked suddenly uneasy at the sight of my friends.
"Hey, babe. It's okay, they're cool with it," I said sitting next to Cas and kissing him on the cheek. He seemed to relax at the touch and I smiled to myself.
"Hi, Castiel," Jo said with her smile and perky cheekbones.
"Hola," Ash said, with a flick of his hand, intended to be a wave.
"How are you, brother?" Benny said, lastly. They all sat down with Cas and me and I could see Cas' smile.
"Hello," he said glancing at me, still smiling. I sat closer to him and put my arm around his waist before he leaned into the touch.
"How did it go today?" I asked him quietly. I really hoped he didn't have to deal with any crap. It would make me feel awful, he really didn't deserve any more to put up with.
"Actually, everything was fine. I mean, I definitely got shitty looks from people and I could hear whispers, but otherwise things were fine," Cas sighed. I could really see how happy he was about not getting treated badly over this and it relieved me more than anything.
"You have no idea how glad I am to hear that," I said, briefly resting my forehead against his. I realized I forgot about my friends sitting with us when I could hear them giggling at Cas and me. We pulled back and Cas blushed as I looked up and saw Jo smiling like an idiot and trying to control her excitement. Not to mention Benny and Ash smirking like the douchey best friends that I loved.
"Guys... Really?" I said.
"What?" They all said in unison. I laughed and we all ate our lunch.
The rest of the week went on just like that, and it was such a relief. I never thought everything would go so perfectly. Yeah, some people that used to talk to me stopped being too friendly, but it was worth it being with Cas. On Saturday, Cas and I went to the movies and walked around town, talking, laughing, eating. It was amazing, but at a certain point in the day, I noticed Cas suddenly looked upset.
"You okay?" I asked as we sat down on a bench in the park. He looked up at me, seeming startled by the fact I had noticed something was wrong. He looked at me for a few moments before speaking,
"This was not supposed to happen." Cas ducked his head as he said the words and my breath caught in my throat. What did he mean? My heart beat faster and I was wondering if I the thought in the back of my head was right; all of what had happened really was too good to be true.
"Cas, what do you mean?" I asked.
"I thought I had learned my lesson, but then you and those damn green eyes came along," Cas said more to himself than me, but still talking right at me with a small smile, before his face fell, once again. I was so confused at that point. Confused and scared that I was about to lose the one good thing that had happened to me in most of my life.
"Cas, please talk to me," I asked, trying not to pressure him, but I really wanted to know what was going on. He looked up at me again and sighed.
"I made some mistakes at my last school, and you deserve to know. I thought it was okay to come out. It was getting really bad- hiding in the closet, lying to my friends, being so lonely I could hardly take it. My dad could never know, but I figured if I was out at school, things would get better. But I was wrong, and everything got worse and worse and then my mom died, and we had to come here," Cas swallowed and took a moment to breathe, his eyes beginning to gloss, "I swore I wouldn't be so foolish this time. I got another chance, and I wasn't gonna fuck it up again. But then, I met you, and it was like all of the cruelty, drama, and the promises I made to myself, simply disappeared. You made me feel like it was okay to be me again. I know it doesn't make sense, and we just met, and there are a million other reasons this is stupid, but I just feel like this is too good to be true. I've been happier in these past few days with you, than I have been in my entire life. I feel like I should be preparing myself for grief and heartbreak, because I have never in my entire life, been this happy with myself and my life." Cas looked embarrassed, and I didn't know what to say. I didn't think I had ever been truly speechless before. So, I did the only thing that made the most sense to me. I cupped his cheek with my hand and leaned in slowly to kiss him. It was so slow and soft, yet full of life and passion. When we broke apart, I intertwined my fingers with his and finally spoke,
"I will never let anything like that happen to you again. And I promise, I'm not goin' anywhere. We'll be alright. Okay?"
"Okay." I could see Cas relax and we sat there for the rest of the day- holding hands and talking. Kissing lazily and ignoring the strange looks we got from people passing the small bench. It was probably one of the best days of my life.
On Sunday, we both had family plans and it was awful not seeing Cas for a whole day. On Monday, I picked him up before school and something was different. He seemed off and he wasn't talking much.
"Hey, Cas. What's up?" I asked, concerned, not yet pulling away from his house.
"Um, I'm fine. Let's just go," he said, looking out the window.
"Cas. What's going on?" I asked. I knew something was wrong. Just a couple days before he was happy and laughing and holding my hand. Even after he had told me about everything that he went through and his fears and regrets, he was okay. He actually seemed even more comfortable than before we talked. Like he wanted to know if it would scare me off or something. He looked down at his lap and I could see tears building up in his eyes. I sat closer and and wrapped my arms around him as he cried. I didn't know what was going on. Only one day had passed since I saw him and he was acting completely different.
"Hey, hey, angel. What happened?" I asked after a while, as he started to calm down. He didn't answer. He just pulled away slightly from me and rolled up his sleeve from his arm, revealing multiple dark bruises and gashes all the way up his arm. My heart stopped.
"Cas, what the fuck are those? What happened?" I was really starting to freak out. I didn't know how that happened to Cas, but I was almost positive the bruises weren't an accident and the cuts didn't look even close to intentional. Cas didn't respond and I decided that we should both take a sick day and go somewhere to talk. As I pulled away from the driveway I kept thinking how something like that could happen. Was it kids from school? Could it have been an accident? There were no marks on his face, so were they defensive wounds? I continued thinking possibilities over and over in my head as Cas just looked out the window, still not speaking. Eventually, we arrived at a small beach near a lake. I went there sometimes to think. It was through a small trail in the woods and there was never anyone there other than me.
"C'mon," I said as I got out of the Impala and Cas followed. I lead him through the short trail and we got to the water. There was a big rock on the sand near the water's edge and we went and sat on top of it.
"Talk to me," I said, gently holding Cas' hands.
"It's um... It's my dad. He... found out about us somehow and- Dean I didn't know he would-" Cas stopped talking and tears were starting to build up in his eyes again. I was so mad. I was so disappointed. Most of all, I was guilty. I didn't know something like that would happen. Everything was going so well, I thought things were actually going to be okay for once. "I don't wanna go back there, Dean."
"Cas, I am so sorry. I didn't know this would happen. I thought things were okay and- I am so sorry, Cas. You don't ever have to go back. I promise," I said, tears then started to build up in my eyes.
"Please don't feel bad about this, Dean. He had a suspicion and I was the one that told him. I hoped that maybe he would understand, but then he just lost it." Cas moved closer to me and I held him for a while. We sat there in peace together until Cas' cell phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and I could feel him become tense as he read that it was his dad calling.
"Don't answer it, Cas. You can stay with me, but please just don't have anything more to do with him. At least for now," I said. Cas turned his phone off.
"What about your dad?" He asked.
"Don't worry, I can just tell him you're a friend who needs a place to stay," I said, kissing the top of Cas' head and running my fingers through his hair.
"Really?" He asked, shaking.
"Really." I held him closer and we sat there for even longer.
Later that afternoon, I had to pick up Sam from school. Cas and I had spent all day at that beach and now we finally had to face the situation. I figured as long as we were really careful, my dad would be fine believing Cas was just a friend that needed somewhere to stay. He was a reasonable guy for the most part, unless it came to anything that had to do with two men being more than friends. Cas and I got into the Impala and drove to the middle school, where Sam was waiting for us on a tall stone wall. He jumped down, with no difficulty, and got into the backseat.
"Hey, guys," he said, buckling his seat belt, "are you coming over, Cas?"
"Actually, Sammy, Cas is gonna stay at our house for a while, assuming dad will be okay with it," I said. I didn't really consider how Sam would feel about Cas living with us, but I just guessed he would be fine with it.
"Cool," Sam said, not appearing to be phased. I noticed Cas sigh- just a little bit- with relief that Sam was okay about it.
When we got to my house, I told Cas to wait in the car while I talked to my dad. I realized I was shaking by the time I got to the door.
"Dean, relax. Dad will be fine with it as long as he doesn't find out," Sam said when I hesitated before the door. I was thankful that Sam knew about Cas and me. If he didn't, everything would be a lot more complicated and he wouldn't be there to talk to me right then. I sighed and finally opened the door. I didn't want to keep Cas waiting, so I went straight into the house in search for my dad. When i went into the living room, he was there, sitting on the couch and reading a book.
"Hi, dad. Um, can I talk to you about something?" I sat down in a chair across from him.
"Sure, Dean. What is it?" He looked up from his book, seeming concerned, but slightly irritated.
"I have this friend- and he, um... He really needs a place to stay for a while. I was wondering if maybe he could stay with us until things go back to normal," I asked, looking down at my fiddling hands in my lap.
"Look at me when you are talking to me, son," he said to me calmly but sternly. I knew he wanted me to make eye contact, but it was hard to. I felt like I was lying, even though I wasn't. Not really. My father continued after I looked up at him, "What exactly makes it so your friend cannot stay at his own house?" I was hoping he wouldn't ask questions, but I knew he would.
"There's just some shi- stuff- happening at his house right now, and he can't stay." I was getting angry again about everything that Cas had to go through, and had to catch myself before I started losing my self control. My dad hated when emotions would overtake Sam or me. He said that we needed to be men and not let thoughts that might hurt us in. It was total bullshit and I knew it, but I had to seem put together enough when I was around my father.
"And he has no other place to stay?" My father asked. I was starting to get really freaked. If he said no, Cas would have to go back to his house, and who knows what would happen.
"No. He just moved here and doesn't know anyone, and most of his family still lives in Iowa."
"Alright. He can stay here as long at it will be temporary and he will not distract you or Sam from your studies." I let out a breath I didn't notice I was holding, and thanked my father before going out to get Cas. He was leaning against the Impala looking scared. More scared than before. I ran up to him,
"Cas! He said yes. You can stay," I said, smiling wide. I knew that it was under horrible circumstances that made my blood boil, but I was so excited that Cas would be safe and that he was going to be around all the time. I would get to see him every single day. His face lit up and we threw each other into our arms.
"Thank you, Dean. Thank you," Cas spoke into my shoulder. I didn't really think that my dad would say no, but knowing that Cas would be safe felt like a ton of bricks being lifted off of us.